Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

DUmmie FUnnies 05-22-06 ("Did Gonzales Kill Fitz's Rove Indictments?")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | May 22, 2006 | Kossacks and PJ-Comix

Posted on 05/22/2006 6:22:32 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

Okay, here is the latest in the Hoaxmas saga. TruthOut followed up their first Partial Birth Apology with a SECOND Partial Birth Apology in which they AGAIN said nothing except they were sticking by their Hoaxmas story through Hell or High Water. As for Pied Piper Pitt. He is still MIA and is suspected of hiding out in the Furorbunker in the desperate hope that he can beat back the Hoaxmas backlash. Rumor has it that he is deluding himself with fantasy scenarios in which Hoaxmax may still turn out to be true. And he might be getting some sustenance from this Daily Kos FANTASY titled, "Did Gonzales Kill Fitz's Rove Indictments?" According to this latest delusion, Rove really was indicted during a 15 hour lockdown (later amended to ALL DAY Friday and into Saturday night by the second TruthOut "explanation") of the the entire 4th floor of Patton Boggs but that indictment was KILLED by the Attorney General. Of course, to believe that story, one needs to believe that the cat of Rove's attorney, Robert Luskin, was not taken to the vet on that same day to check on the health of its STOOLS. Jason Leopold has stated that he will now try to disprove Luskin's alibi by calling every vet in a 20 mile radius of Washington, D.C.. So let us now explore the latest Leftist Fitzmas fantasy in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who is dedicating this DUFU edition to Luskin's cat with the healthy stools, is in the [brackets]:

The Wayne Madsen Report and the Chris Matthews Show have both floated the theory that Fitzgerald had secured indictments against Rove, but Gonzales --via McNulty-- came in at the last second and used his power as Fitzgerald's superior to kill the indictments.

[Wayne Madsen is considered to be so unreliable that his reports have been BANNED from DUmmieland which judging from what is normally permitted there must some sort of new low in lack of credibility. But continue my appropriately named Kossack, JiggyFlunknut...]

IF, this theory is true, Fitzgerald would have likely challenged McNulty's decision in court, pointing to an earlier administrative directive from then acting Attorney General James Comey that gave Fitzerald the "authority of the Attorney General." Comey is long gone, however, and was replaced by McNulty. The question then becomes what, if any, value does Comey's administrative directive have today.

[A very big IF there, Flunknut. And the theory is easily disproven by the Luskin cat stool check.]

One unfortunate realty of this scenario is that if the judge sides with McNulty, we will never know what really happened, because it will remained sealed. Which, is one explanation about why Rove is acting so smug these days and why the White House has not pulled back his public schedule.

[Or maybe Rove is so smug because he knows that a sample of the Luskin cat stools stored in a vet's lockbox in the D.C. area gives him a rock solid alibi that he never even met with Fitzgerald on May 12. And now to let the other Kossacks chime in...]

This would be a big deal.

[IF true. However, that big IF is a gigantic Firewall keeping this fantasy from breaking through to reality.]

We're talking Wayne Madsen, for Dog's sake!

[In this case, for Cat's stools!]

Even worse is to create a set of tools that are designed to perpetuate the thousand year reich and then lose power due to overwhelming incompetence in the execution if not the plan, so that your enemies now have the Patriot Act and warrantless surveilance with which to check out the money laundering of big oil, Halliburton and the Military Industrial Complex.

[You mean create a set of stools.]

I believe certain members of the Press have just about had it with Gonzales' shit.

[I believe certain members of the Press have just about had it with Lukin's cat stools.]

I'm kind of stalling for time here...

[Or stooling for time here...]

It scared the living shit out of me. I think with this latest revalation of Gonzales "we can do whatever we want" doctrine of law, it scares me even more.

[The living cat stools will scare you even more.]

Cases can be sealed for any number of reasons.

[There's a much great reason to seal cat stools.]

i was suing my boyfriend for custody of the cats and didn't want you guys to know about it

[The important thing is, did you also get custody of the cat stools?]

have some people eating crow. Jason Leopold may have been right afterall.

[Jason Leopold is right now doing some intense journalistic investigation by going into Robert Luskin's trash and checking out the cat stools for evidence in this case.]

I won't even entertain it as an option until I can find a link for Sealed v. Sealed

[You'd be better off trying to find a link for Stool v Stool Pigeon.]

It depresses me so much to think that this could possibly be true. Unfortunately, history and the psychology of this administration makes this and other horrid events plausable. I mourn for our country's loss of every ideal it stood for.

[But wouldn't your mourning be balanced out by the JOY of finding out that the Luskin cat stools are okay?]

Leopold was right vis-a-vis the indictments, what could hold them up indefinitely or dismiss them? Is there anything outside of a plea agreement, aside from firing Fitz, that could keep an indictment from being served?

[Yes. Check the prophetic cat stools for the answers.]

Folks, I don't care which side of the aisle you're on, bullshit is bullshit. It's not that I don't want Leopold to be right, it's just that he's not right. He's a liar, he's an asshole and the fact that so many people are now going to excuse him thanks to YET ANOTHER lie about this just pisses me off.

[I don't care which side of the aisle you're on, cat stools are cat stools.]

Since Fitz represents the governemnt officially, it wiil have to be a bribe to the Judge. So a black satchel is my speculation.

[A black stool is my speculation.]

report it 24-7, or just give it the Downing Street Memoranda Treatment?

[Downing Street Memos are excellent material for wrapping up cat stools.]

I remember the day this story broke - down to where I was and who I was with - as clearly as I remember the day Kennedy was assassinated

[Let me guess. You were at the vet in order to have your cat's stools checked?]

Research? Evidence? Those things have no place in a diary like this!

[Or in a TruthOut story.]

I'd like to hear the opinions of a lot of other people on how likely this is.

[Somewhere between Nil and None.]

Does this mean that if Fitz decides NOT to indict Rove, he will not announce that fact?

[Only after NOT spending 15 hours in a lockdown on the 4th floor of Patton Boggs.]

This is the "quiet" Saturday Night Massacre.

[According to TruthOut the Patton Boggs lockdown lasted ALL DAY Friday into Saturday Night thus making a "Saturday Night Massacre" possible.]

This foaming-at-the-mouth speculation accomplishes zilch. Jason Leopold overreached badly. There's no point in inventing conspiracy theories to explain his failure.

[I was kind of fond of the conspiracy theory about a Patton Boggs lockdown that lasted all day Friday into Saturday night.]

I'd love to take to the streets. I'd love to "crash the gates" more than metaphorically. The Plame leak was just one more proof to me that the America I love is nearly dead. I'm willing to die a horrible death to revive it.

[I bet you wouldn't be willing to sleep with cat stools to revive it.]

Citing Wayne Madsen is unacceptable.

[But FUn!]

Stupid diaries like this one Should NOT be recommended.

[However they should be DUFUed.]

Why doesn't everybody take a deep breath, take a step back, and recognize that EVERYONE who is progressive and Democratic is under a LOT of stress as we do what we can to hold the fragments of our country together by keeping our fingers in the cracks of the dam. Karl Rove is the epitome of what makes the Bush Administration so malevolent, so deceitful and destructive to the good names and lives of many decent Americans; and I'm second to NO ONE in wanting him to get his just desserts. However, I think WE'RE ALL STARTING TO FREAK OUT A LITTLE because we're so DAMNED IMPATIENT...and what results is speculation after speculation after bad report after bad journalism--and thus, our response to it is to start going at each other's f*cking throats?

[Watching Leftists FREAK OUT is FUn to watch!]

I don't know which is more annoying: the way some people here pretend they know what the f*ck they're talking about, when they don't have a clue, or the unrestrained hostility they have for people who actually know of what they speak.

[I just LOVE these Lose/Lose situations!]

Maybe we can get ct to create a filter that autmatically puts a clown suit on any diary that contains the strings Wayne Madsen and/or Jason Leopold. I think that would take care of the problem.

[Or a pile of cat stools on any such diary.]

This diary really pissed me off. I'm still very upset that no indictments of Rove have come down yet. I really hope this diary is wrong. At the same time -- what is going on??? There is no way you can convince me that Fitzgerald doesn't have enough to indict. Sure he has. WHY HASN'T IT HAPPENED??? I'm getting pissed at Fitzgerald at this point. If Rove walks away from this, I swear....

[....I'll never look at another cat stool again.]

This is bullshit. Shut your f*cking piehole about the psychiatrist stuff. Call the guy an asshole. Tell him he's delusional. Gang up on him with Armando, and anyone else who feels like piling on. But please shut up with all your comments about mental illness and psychiatrists.

[Support mental health or I'LL KILL YOU!!!]

As someone who has been diagnosed with chronic clinical depression who takes a daily maximum dose of Zoloft, I think I am perfectly entitled to tell someone else that they're crazy.

[It takes one to know one.]

Just let the process work, and kill the bullshit baseless specualting. Leave that to the pros such as Leoplold.

[Finally, Jason Leopold gets the proper respect for his body of work.]

Because of this insanity we are giving all the talking heads and Rightwing blogs ammunition to smack us down and call us foolish and conspiracy theorist.

[Hee! Hee!]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: catstools; crap; dummies; fitzmas; hoaxmas; kittyping; robertluskin; willpitt
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-6061-80 ... 221-239 next last
To: Charles Henrickson

I didn't link to the latest TruthOut fantasy because ever since Drudge linked to it, that page has been overwhelmed with hits and is impossible to access.


21 posted on 05/22/2006 6:39:20 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 16 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
As someone who has been diagnosed with chronic clinical depression who takes a daily maximum dose of Zoloft, I think I am perfectly entitled to tell someone else that they're crazy.

Look at me! Look at me! I'm a victim! I'm a victim and it makes me more special and more qualified than anyone else!

22 posted on 05/22/2006 6:40:10 AM PDT by SaveTheChief ("This one goes to eleven.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
As for Pied Piper Pitt. He is still MIA and is suspected of hiding out in the Furorbunker. . . .

Wilhelm Pittler.

23 posted on 05/22/2006 6:41:53 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Freudenschade, baby!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Charles Henrickson

My seven year old nephew was here yesterday and he was actually able to read the words on the Pitt photo praying to Allah graphic except for "indict."


24 posted on 05/22/2006 6:42:13 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 20 | View Replies]

To: SaveTheChief

Yeah, that Zoloft Kossack really cracked me up! Bragging about being clinically depressed.


25 posted on 05/22/2006 6:43:36 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 22 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
Hoaxmax

Unintentionally Funny Typo of the Day candidate.

26 posted on 05/22/2006 6:43:38 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Merry Hoaxmas!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
I remember the day this story broke - down to where I was and who I was with - as clearly as I remember the day Kennedy was assassinated

[Let me guess. You were at the vet in order to have your cat's stools checked?]

Actually, I think his partner has been checking out his stools, with his "probe"..

The capacity of people to delude themselves never ceases to amaze me. I honestly thought, that it was usually conservatives who gave into the conspiracy hysteria. But now I see that Liberals not only give in, they completely relish in it, and allow it to replace any semblance of common sense. It is passing from the laughable, to the pathetic.

Because of this insanity we are giving all the talking heads and Rightwing blogs ammunition to smack us down and call us foolish and conspiracy theorist.

Oh no! The VRWC might start calling the grass green, and the sky blue!

27 posted on 05/22/2006 6:43:53 AM PDT by Paradox (Removing all Doubt since 1998!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: SaveTheChief

You are not quite 100% correct...

It's the medication that truly elevates a DUmmie victim to "higher critic".

(Waiting on Charles Henrickson to catch that one...)


28 posted on 05/22/2006 6:45:15 AM PDT by Cletus.D.Yokel (To a DUmmie, meds be creds!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 22 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
PJ, here's a link to the WaPo article by Howard Kurtz on all this:

Washington Post Article on Truthout.org

29 posted on 05/22/2006 6:45:22 AM PDT by bcsco ("He who is wedded to the spirit of the age is soon a widower" - Anonymous)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

It would have to be regular stools as business stools would eventually flood the office and then the community kind of like the Blob.


30 posted on 05/22/2006 6:47:17 AM PDT by Hillarys Gate Cult (The man who said "there's no such thing as a stupid question" has never talked to Helen Thomas.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Paradox

Hillary remembers where she was the day the Hoaxmas story broke...and she is LESS than amused. Pied Piper Pitt can now pretty much scratch Shrillary off his list of candidates he can flak for in the future. Come to think of it, Pitt can scratch them ALL off...except for maybe Al "Tawana Brawley" Sharpton.


31 posted on 05/22/2006 6:47:56 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 27 | View Replies]

To: bcsco

If you click the STOOL in my DUFU intro, you will go to that same WaPo story.


32 posted on 05/22/2006 6:49:14 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 29 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
Luskin's cat with the healthy stools. . . .

Healthier than the stuff W(K)R(A)P was piling on to the DUnghill.

33 posted on 05/22/2006 6:49:37 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Bull Pitt.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
"If you click the STOOL in my DUFU intro, you will go to that same WaPo story."

I didn't check your links. Only have a little time before I leave. Thanks.

34 posted on 05/22/2006 6:50:42 AM PDT by bcsco ("He who is wedded to the spirit of the age is soon a widower" - Anonymous)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 32 | View Replies]

To: bcsco
The reports appeared on the liberal Web site Truthout.org, run by Marc Ash, a former advertising man and fashion photographer in California.

Swish!

SD

35 posted on 05/22/2006 6:51:53 AM PDT by SoothingDave
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 29 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

---- Because of this insanity we are giving all the talking heads and Rightwing blogs ammunition to smack us down and call us foolish and conspiracy theorist.---

You mean, you as a group of posters aren't conspiracy theorists? Could have fooled me.


36 posted on 05/22/2006 6:53:21 AM PDT by Knitting A Conundrum (Act Justly, Love Mercy, and Walk Humbly With God Micah 6:8)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Charles Henrickson
The voices in my head tell me the indictment is coming soon...   --William Rivers Pitt, 5 May 2006
37 posted on 05/22/2006 6:53:57 AM PDT by Petronski (I just love that woman.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 15 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
dedicating this DUFU edition to Luskin's cat. . . .

"Hey! What about ME??!!"


38 posted on 05/22/2006 6:53:59 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (PJ, aren't you being a little hard on the Beaver?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
Come to think of it, Pitt can scratch them ALL off...except for maybe Al "Tawana Brawley" Sharpton.

You don't think Luskin's cat was involved?

39 posted on 05/22/2006 6:56:23 AM PDT by Stentor
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 31 | View Replies]

To: Bacon Man; Hap

Ping to Charles' post, which outlines this whole hilarious affair!

Wish this were a week earlier, so y'all would have proper leisure time to catch up. ;)


40 posted on 05/22/2006 6:57:04 AM PDT by Xenalyte (Pudding won't fill the emptiness inside me . . . but it'll help.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 15 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-6061-80 ... 221-239 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson