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DUmmie FUnnies 05-22-06 ("Did Gonzales Kill Fitz's Rove Indictments?")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | May 22, 2006 | Kossacks and PJ-Comix

Posted on 05/22/2006 6:22:32 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

Okay, here is the latest in the Hoaxmas saga. TruthOut followed up their first Partial Birth Apology with a SECOND Partial Birth Apology in which they AGAIN said nothing except they were sticking by their Hoaxmas story through Hell or High Water. As for Pied Piper Pitt. He is still MIA and is suspected of hiding out in the Furorbunker in the desperate hope that he can beat back the Hoaxmas backlash. Rumor has it that he is deluding himself with fantasy scenarios in which Hoaxmax may still turn out to be true. And he might be getting some sustenance from this Daily Kos FANTASY titled, "Did Gonzales Kill Fitz's Rove Indictments?" According to this latest delusion, Rove really was indicted during a 15 hour lockdown (later amended to ALL DAY Friday and into Saturday night by the second TruthOut "explanation") of the the entire 4th floor of Patton Boggs but that indictment was KILLED by the Attorney General. Of course, to believe that story, one needs to believe that the cat of Rove's attorney, Robert Luskin, was not taken to the vet on that same day to check on the health of its STOOLS. Jason Leopold has stated that he will now try to disprove Luskin's alibi by calling every vet in a 20 mile radius of Washington, D.C.. So let us now explore the latest Leftist Fitzmas fantasy in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who is dedicating this DUFU edition to Luskin's cat with the healthy stools, is in the [brackets]:

The Wayne Madsen Report and the Chris Matthews Show have both floated the theory that Fitzgerald had secured indictments against Rove, but Gonzales --via McNulty-- came in at the last second and used his power as Fitzgerald's superior to kill the indictments.

[Wayne Madsen is considered to be so unreliable that his reports have been BANNED from DUmmieland which judging from what is normally permitted there must some sort of new low in lack of credibility. But continue my appropriately named Kossack, JiggyFlunknut...]

IF, this theory is true, Fitzgerald would have likely challenged McNulty's decision in court, pointing to an earlier administrative directive from then acting Attorney General James Comey that gave Fitzerald the "authority of the Attorney General." Comey is long gone, however, and was replaced by McNulty. The question then becomes what, if any, value does Comey's administrative directive have today.

[A very big IF there, Flunknut. And the theory is easily disproven by the Luskin cat stool check.]

One unfortunate realty of this scenario is that if the judge sides with McNulty, we will never know what really happened, because it will remained sealed. Which, is one explanation about why Rove is acting so smug these days and why the White House has not pulled back his public schedule.

[Or maybe Rove is so smug because he knows that a sample of the Luskin cat stools stored in a vet's lockbox in the D.C. area gives him a rock solid alibi that he never even met with Fitzgerald on May 12. And now to let the other Kossacks chime in...]

This would be a big deal.

[IF true. However, that big IF is a gigantic Firewall keeping this fantasy from breaking through to reality.]

We're talking Wayne Madsen, for Dog's sake!

[In this case, for Cat's stools!]

Even worse is to create a set of tools that are designed to perpetuate the thousand year reich and then lose power due to overwhelming incompetence in the execution if not the plan, so that your enemies now have the Patriot Act and warrantless surveilance with which to check out the money laundering of big oil, Halliburton and the Military Industrial Complex.

[You mean create a set of stools.]

I believe certain members of the Press have just about had it with Gonzales' shit.

[I believe certain members of the Press have just about had it with Lukin's cat stools.]

I'm kind of stalling for time here...

[Or stooling for time here...]

It scared the living shit out of me. I think with this latest revalation of Gonzales "we can do whatever we want" doctrine of law, it scares me even more.

[The living cat stools will scare you even more.]

Cases can be sealed for any number of reasons.

[There's a much great reason to seal cat stools.]

i was suing my boyfriend for custody of the cats and didn't want you guys to know about it

[The important thing is, did you also get custody of the cat stools?]

have some people eating crow. Jason Leopold may have been right afterall.

[Jason Leopold is right now doing some intense journalistic investigation by going into Robert Luskin's trash and checking out the cat stools for evidence in this case.]

I won't even entertain it as an option until I can find a link for Sealed v. Sealed

[You'd be better off trying to find a link for Stool v Stool Pigeon.]

It depresses me so much to think that this could possibly be true. Unfortunately, history and the psychology of this administration makes this and other horrid events plausable. I mourn for our country's loss of every ideal it stood for.

[But wouldn't your mourning be balanced out by the JOY of finding out that the Luskin cat stools are okay?]

Leopold was right vis-a-vis the indictments, what could hold them up indefinitely or dismiss them? Is there anything outside of a plea agreement, aside from firing Fitz, that could keep an indictment from being served?

[Yes. Check the prophetic cat stools for the answers.]

Folks, I don't care which side of the aisle you're on, bullshit is bullshit. It's not that I don't want Leopold to be right, it's just that he's not right. He's a liar, he's an asshole and the fact that so many people are now going to excuse him thanks to YET ANOTHER lie about this just pisses me off.

[I don't care which side of the aisle you're on, cat stools are cat stools.]

Since Fitz represents the governemnt officially, it wiil have to be a bribe to the Judge. So a black satchel is my speculation.

[A black stool is my speculation.]

report it 24-7, or just give it the Downing Street Memoranda Treatment?

[Downing Street Memos are excellent material for wrapping up cat stools.]

I remember the day this story broke - down to where I was and who I was with - as clearly as I remember the day Kennedy was assassinated

[Let me guess. You were at the vet in order to have your cat's stools checked?]

Research? Evidence? Those things have no place in a diary like this!

[Or in a TruthOut story.]

I'd like to hear the opinions of a lot of other people on how likely this is.

[Somewhere between Nil and None.]

Does this mean that if Fitz decides NOT to indict Rove, he will not announce that fact?

[Only after NOT spending 15 hours in a lockdown on the 4th floor of Patton Boggs.]

This is the "quiet" Saturday Night Massacre.

[According to TruthOut the Patton Boggs lockdown lasted ALL DAY Friday into Saturday Night thus making a "Saturday Night Massacre" possible.]

This foaming-at-the-mouth speculation accomplishes zilch. Jason Leopold overreached badly. There's no point in inventing conspiracy theories to explain his failure.

[I was kind of fond of the conspiracy theory about a Patton Boggs lockdown that lasted all day Friday into Saturday night.]

I'd love to take to the streets. I'd love to "crash the gates" more than metaphorically. The Plame leak was just one more proof to me that the America I love is nearly dead. I'm willing to die a horrible death to revive it.

[I bet you wouldn't be willing to sleep with cat stools to revive it.]

Citing Wayne Madsen is unacceptable.

[But FUn!]

Stupid diaries like this one Should NOT be recommended.

[However they should be DUFUed.]

Why doesn't everybody take a deep breath, take a step back, and recognize that EVERYONE who is progressive and Democratic is under a LOT of stress as we do what we can to hold the fragments of our country together by keeping our fingers in the cracks of the dam. Karl Rove is the epitome of what makes the Bush Administration so malevolent, so deceitful and destructive to the good names and lives of many decent Americans; and I'm second to NO ONE in wanting him to get his just desserts. However, I think WE'RE ALL STARTING TO FREAK OUT A LITTLE because we're so DAMNED IMPATIENT...and what results is speculation after speculation after bad report after bad journalism--and thus, our response to it is to start going at each other's f*cking throats?

[Watching Leftists FREAK OUT is FUn to watch!]

I don't know which is more annoying: the way some people here pretend they know what the f*ck they're talking about, when they don't have a clue, or the unrestrained hostility they have for people who actually know of what they speak.

[I just LOVE these Lose/Lose situations!]

Maybe we can get ct to create a filter that autmatically puts a clown suit on any diary that contains the strings Wayne Madsen and/or Jason Leopold. I think that would take care of the problem.

[Or a pile of cat stools on any such diary.]

This diary really pissed me off. I'm still very upset that no indictments of Rove have come down yet. I really hope this diary is wrong. At the same time -- what is going on??? There is no way you can convince me that Fitzgerald doesn't have enough to indict. Sure he has. WHY HASN'T IT HAPPENED??? I'm getting pissed at Fitzgerald at this point. If Rove walks away from this, I swear....

[....I'll never look at another cat stool again.]

This is bullshit. Shut your f*cking piehole about the psychiatrist stuff. Call the guy an asshole. Tell him he's delusional. Gang up on him with Armando, and anyone else who feels like piling on. But please shut up with all your comments about mental illness and psychiatrists.

[Support mental health or I'LL KILL YOU!!!]

As someone who has been diagnosed with chronic clinical depression who takes a daily maximum dose of Zoloft, I think I am perfectly entitled to tell someone else that they're crazy.

[It takes one to know one.]

Just let the process work, and kill the bullshit baseless specualting. Leave that to the pros such as Leoplold.

[Finally, Jason Leopold gets the proper respect for his body of work.]

Because of this insanity we are giving all the talking heads and Rightwing blogs ammunition to smack us down and call us foolish and conspiracy theorist.

[Hee! Hee!]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: catstools; crap; dummies; fitzmas; hoaxmas; kittyping; robertluskin; willpitt
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To: Paradox
Because of this insanity we are giving all the talking heads and Rightwing blogs ammunition to smack us down and call us foolish and conspiracy theorist.

Oh no! The VRWC might start calling the grass green, and the sky blue....

....and the crazy....NUTS!

201 posted on 05/22/2006 7:16:58 PM PDT by dirtbiker (I've tried to see the liberal point of view, but I couldn't get my head that far up my a$$....)
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To: franksolich

So a couple thousand DUmmies shell out $30 a quarter just to provide us with guffaws, chuckles, and belly-laughs? If I ever meet OldLeftyLawyer, the first one'll be on me.


202 posted on 05/22/2006 7:30:29 PM PDT by RedRover
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To: PJ-Comix

PJ, I perceive that you are enjoying the misery foisted onto the DUmmies by Jason and William Pitt.

Tsk, tsk!!

Keep enjoying, man!


203 posted on 05/22/2006 7:35:34 PM PDT by Ole Okie
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To: PJ-Comix

Understandable. I'm still waiting for our local Hollywood Video to get the complete Seasons 1-4 on DVD so I can catch up. I've never watched the show, but I'm dying to.


204 posted on 05/22/2006 7:38:01 PM PDT by Choose Ye This Day (Mmm! The tears of unfathomable sadness! Yummy! (Freudenschade, Baby!))
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To: Charles Henrickson
One possible "exit strategy" for Wee Willie to get out of this mess is to throw Jason Leopold under the bus. But at this point, how well will that go over with the disillusioned DUmmie masses?

After that drunken midnight rant where he called out Skinner and called the rest of the DUmmies "sh!tbags" and "f**kwits", probably not well at all.

205 posted on 05/22/2006 7:47:11 PM PDT by CFC__VRWC
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To: RedRover

Well, I frankly think the DUmmies should listen to the left-handed attorney, and to a lesser extent, also to the DUmmie "Symbolman."

{The DUmmie "Symbolman" used to be "the member of democraticunderground 'Symbolman,'" but after he kissed the posterior of Fat Che, he got demoted back down to "the DUmmie 'Symbolman'".)

Both of them are right; if the Democrats hope to win any elections this year, they have to deal with issues of substance, and on a mature level.

The Democrats have consistently lost elections since 1994 because of their whining, griping, bitching, moaning, complaining, and most of all, because of their raging anger and resentment.

That is no way to win elections.

My God, if Republicans acted like DUmmies.....

I can guarantee that if--and it is a pretty big "if," no matter what the current polls say--the Republicans and conservatives suffer significant losses, there will be none of this whining and grinding and bitchery.

If--and it is a pretty big "if," no matter what the current polls say--the Republicans and conservatives suffer significant losses, the attitude from this side will be, "Oh, well, excresence happens; we'll just have to do better next time around."

We certainly aren't going to mire ourselves down in anger and self-pity and paranoid outrage; we're just going to patiently sit out the next two years and gun for 2008.

The left-handed attorney and the DUmmie "Symbolman" are trying, desperately, to get the Democrats and liberals back on track, back to dealing with matters of real importance on a mature adult level.

One wonders however if their "message" will get through.


206 posted on 05/22/2006 7:47:21 PM PDT by franksolich (wolkenkuckucksheim)
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To: Purrcival; BJClinton
How does an AG go about "killing" a grand jury indictment?

...especially since he has recused himself from the case?

Probably in the same way that if Bush and Cheney are impeached, John Kerry or Al Gore will somehow be the President. Somewhere in the DUmmieland version of the Constitution, it says that's so.

207 posted on 05/22/2006 7:53:22 PM PDT by CFC__VRWC
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To: PJ-Comix

Turned out, the suspect stool was not from his cat, but was a stray piece of Almond Roca that had fallen in the litterbox...


208 posted on 05/22/2006 8:08:13 PM PDT by beezdotcom
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To: PJ-Comix

"Furorbunker".

Beautiful.


209 posted on 05/22/2006 8:18:36 PM PDT by Ole Okie
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To: franksolich

I hope OldLefty and symbolman prevail. We need two strong parties in this country. I do believe that strong ideas emerge from rigorous debate and advocacy. But the Dems offer nothing but name-calling and kookiness.


210 posted on 05/22/2006 8:19:16 PM PDT by RedRover
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To: RedRover

My thoughts exactly.

I learned this from "The Making of the President 1960" by Theodore White (I have a habit of reading very old books).

Now, America in 1960 was very different from America in 2006, but anyway, White pointed out that Wisconsin, Minnesota, Nebraska, and California had the cleanest politics, the most corrupt-free politics, of all the states.

And Massachusetts, Maryland, Georgia, and Louisiana were then the dirtiest, most corrupt states.

White, the author, pointed out this was because there was a lively, competitive two-party system in the first four states, which kept everybody honest, while in the last four states, one political party had dominated so long, and so overwhelmingly, that there was no incentive for honest, vigorous politics and government.

It does not take a whole lot of memory to recall who was dominating Massachusetts, Maryland, Georgia, and Louisiana back in 1960, by the way.

So yes, we need a strong competitive two-party system; if the Democrats dominate, we decline into Caligulan corruption, and if the Republicans dominate (too much), we get lazy.


211 posted on 05/22/2006 8:41:34 PM PDT by franksolich (wolkenkuckucksheim)
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To: commonguymd; PJ-Comix; SCALEMAN; Charles Henrickson; Misty Memory; gardencatz; MisterRepublican; ...

Fat Che, possibly jealous of all the attention we've been giving the still-absent Bostonian Idiot, has weighed in tonight.

Link on my next comment.


212 posted on 05/22/2006 9:33:02 PM PDT by franksolich (wolkenkuckucksheim)
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To: franksolich

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=364x1261813


213 posted on 05/22/2006 9:33:51 PM PDT by franksolich (wolkenkuckucksheim)
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To: franksolich

benburch (1000+ posts) Mon May-22-06 11:40 PM
Original message

Malloy says Rove likely HAS been indicted.

In a totally sealed case. Sealed v Sealed that Fitzgerald's boss issued.

Does anybody have more on this?




benburch (1000+ posts) Mon May-22-06 11:44 PM
Response to Reply #3

5. That there was an indctment in "Sealed v Sealed".....issued by the judge who is Fitzgerald's boss.




benburch (1000+ posts) Mon May-22-06 11:45 PM
Response to Original message

7. If you want to hear what he actually said rather than my recollection......the archive will post on [Me: Link purposely disabled] in about two hours.




benburch (1000+ posts) Mon May-22-06 11:50 PM
Response to Reply #8

10. Pardon me for not reading ALL of DU!

And for posting what a talk show host is saying quickly enough for people to tune in and hear part of it...

[Me: Fat Che is getting mostly negative or skeptical comments, his "source" being Mike Mellow (or whatever), the king of political commentary on radio.]


214 posted on 05/22/2006 9:38:43 PM PDT by franksolich (wolkenkuckucksheim)
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To: franksolich

Scoody Boo (111 posts) Mon May-22-06 11:50 PM
Response to Reply #4

9. Yeah, lets all line up and get kicked in the head again.
Wait, don't start without me. I need to get my Ruby Red Shoes to click them together. I consulted my Magic 8 Ball and after saying "No" 16 times, it finally said "yes" when asked about a Rove indictment.

There is an equal chance that it was Bigfoot being already indicted as there is of Rove having a sealed indictment on him. Oh wait, Bigfoot is a fairy tale. Just like Jason Leopold Rove Indictment.


215 posted on 05/22/2006 9:41:15 PM PDT by franksolich (wolkenkuckucksheim)
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To: franksolich

boloboffin (1000+ posts) Mon May-22-06 10:54 PM
Response to Reply #26
31. Perjury is a standalone crime.
If Libby or Rove perjured themselves, then away they go. Lying is lying.




Can someone refresh my memory here? What was Clinton impeached for? To whom did he commit perjury? What, ultimately, happened to him?


216 posted on 05/22/2006 10:07:02 PM PDT by Choose Ye This Day (Mmm! The tears of unfathomable sadness! Yummy! (Freudenschade, Baby!))
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To: feefee
we must use the power of the force to defeat the evil empire, where's those light sabers when we need them.

LOL, a star wars reference ping, catz!

And by Miss Waverly no less! Who would've thought the queen of the dust bunny palace was Force sensitive? But everyone knows if you learn to use the dark side of the Force you achieve a power greater than any Jedi! And the Sith get the cool red synthetic crystal light sabers!

217 posted on 05/22/2006 10:37:01 PM PDT by gardencatz ("The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural!")
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To: El Conservador
BTW, I demand somebody goes to the Penn Station Subs place on Dorsett just east of 270 in Maryland Heights...
They're a pretty major chain now, and their chicken teriyaki sub is the bomb as well.

-Eric

218 posted on 05/23/2006 3:36:01 AM PDT by E Rocc (The Illuminati’s most secret ritual is the worship of Karl Rove.)
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To: franksolich

In the Fat Che thread, the Porkster gets kudos for his avatar. El Lardo says regarding same, "I hope I have even a fraction of her bravery.
I admire her legacy greatly."

I can't place Tubby's avatar. Can you?


219 posted on 05/23/2006 4:37:32 AM PDT by RedRover (Where have you gone, Scoop Jackson?)
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To: franksolich

fat che fishing for hits.


220 posted on 05/23/2006 4:44:26 AM PDT by commonguymd
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