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DUmmie FUnnies 04-24-06 ("Thoughts on John Kerry")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | April 24, 2006 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 04/24/2006 7:20:12 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

The FUnniest thing about John Kerry's attempts in the last few days to put himself front and center in the news as a prelude to his Presidential rerun in 2008 is that he simultaneously SUNK his own campaign with words that will come back to haunt him. I am referring to his defense of CIA traitor (and Kerry campaign contributor), Mary McCarthy. HERE is what Kerry said about traitor McCarthy: “So I’m glad she told the truth but she’s going to obviously suffer the consequences of breaking the law.” Of course, Kerry will say we didn't understand his "nuances" when he is attacked for being "glad" over the release of classified information. It will do him NO GOOD. Kerry has cooked his own goose. The most FUn part of the 2008 primary will be watching his complete mental meltdown when he is ground under by the Hillary (or Gore) campaign. It will be volcanic eruption of ANGER of such proportions that not even Dr. Buddy Rydell can help him.

Meanwhile, in his typical fit of BAD TIMING, Pied Piper Pitt has suddenly performed a flurry of activity on behalf of Mama T's Boy Toy. In just the past couple of days, Pied Piper Pitt Posted Plentiful Presidential Promotional Postings Pertaining (forgive the alliterations) to Kerry. In his typical name dropping demeanor, Pitt posted this THREAD self-promotingly titled, "I asked Kerry today about running in '08." But wait, there MORE! < /ron popeil> Pitt ALSO posted ANOTHER Kerry THREAD the following day with the equally self-promotional title of "my Kerry speech analysis + interview." But all that Kerry shilling STILL wasn't enough for Pitt. He had to jump up and down waving his Kerry Flag with a THIRD Kerry THREAD simply titled, "Senator John Kerry." Hey, Pitt, why not just post a thread titled, "John Kerry: HIRE MEEEEEE!!!"

Despite Pied Piper Pitt's amusing cheerleading for Kerry, many of his fellow DUmmies remain skeptical about Kerry's chances as you can see in this THREAD titled, "Thoughts on John Kerry," posted by a DUmmie whose thoughts on Kerry would not be pleasing to Shill Pitt. So let us now read in Bolshevik Red what the DUmmies think about the Senator who recently became so energetic on behalf of himself while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering if Pitt can get a job as Kerry's press secretary so he can secretly feed information to the Hillary campaign, is in the [brackets]:

Thoughts on John Kerry

[I had a thought on John Kerry before I didn't have a thought on John Kerry.]

I worked 14 to 20 hour days for 7 months as a field coordinator in a very competetive state, in three highly Republican counties, to get this man elected president of the United States of America. At the time I believed in the cause 110%.

[John Kerry has your back.]

On Election Night 2004, I was on a call with the rest of the GOTV (get out the vote) staff in the state I was in. My name was read as a list of people who were to go to their local county courthouse to observe the vote counting process and be ready for any kind of "trouble." A few days before, I had been told to have a bag with several days' clothes and supplies ready to go. When I got this call to go to the courthouse, I grabbed my bag and headed towards the door.

[Were you told to pack a pack of condoms and a Form 180?]

I stopped, turned around, and handed my keys to a trusted volunteer. I said to him, "I'm going to the courthouse, and who knows where after that. I don't know when I'll be back here."

[After the court house you'll be going to....DISNEY WORLD!!!]

I sat at the courthouse as huge boxes of certified ballots arrived and the RoveBots glared at me. I was in a state that Kerry won by 11,000 votes. I personally exceeded my vote goals by 5,000 votes (although so did the Bush organizer because of huge turnout). I took off a semester from school to get this man elected, did everything I could. I helped win an extremely close state.

[Hmmm.... Could this be New Hampshire? Well, it did you NO GOOD since the Diebold Machines gave the victory to Bush in Ohio.]

At this point.... would I suspend my life and do it all again for John Kerry? No. He has done nothing since the polls closed and I sat alone at a courthouse that indicates to me he was worthy of nearly half of the popular votes cast in this vast land. He was worth it at the time, but now I truly believe we have much better candidates.

[WAAAAAH! He doesn't WUV John Kerry anymore. So who do you believe in now? From the pic on your post it looks like nerdy Russ Feingold has your true love.]

Senator Kerry, it's time to step aside. That is, unless you can get a multitude of Democrats elected this fall, introduce some legislation to get me health care, help my friends get better student loans, and save our environment from the Bush administration, along with all the other world's problems (like Iraq).

[...and windsurf while standing on one leg.]

He would have been, and COULD still be a great president - but what has he done for us lately?

[Pied Piper Pitt is wondering when Kerry is going to do something for HIM like hire Pitt as his press secretary or speech writer.]

it is the Rovian technique... to divide and add one to his side...divide and add one to his side...etc... But the thing is this division stuff over 08 now only hurts democrats in 06!!!

[Hee! Hee! How do you know that the author of this thread isn't Karl Rove himself?]

Whoops. You cited your work on election night, your sacrifice. The element of KERRY BETRAYED MY PURE HEART runs through your post like bile.

[That sounds like it could be the title and theme of a Paul Anka type 50s teen tune: "KERRY BETRAYED MY PURE HEART."]

My basis for "dismissing" him is related to disappointment in the way he handled the 2004 election, the Ohio results, the vote on the war, the vote on the USA PATRIOT Act.

[None of which will hurt Kerry as much as his statement that he was glad Mary McCarthy betrayed the CIA.]

I love Feingold but there is no way he will get the nomination being an unmarried candidate.

[Perhaps he can get that condition rectified. I understand that Barney Frank is in the marriage market.]

Kerry has contributed a lot to this country. But it's too soon for him to run again. I just don't see it happening.

[He needs to wait until 2028.]

considering the piss poor election georgie ran the lies he told, he should have lost in a landslide. plus whenm clearly the night of the election there was shit afloat and kerry conceeded after OHIO, i want kerry to shut the f*ck up, or bring theft charges.

[Kerry has your back.]

As one who sits and waits for the required 5 days to go by before Sen. Kerry voices a stance on issues...I hear you.

[Kerry has your back...after he thinks about it for 5 days.]

Edwards was pushing for recounts. It has nothing to do with that really...but getting the feeling of being steamrolled for all of our efforts. It's sitting and waiting and "picking battles" that never happen that gets my gut. It was, and always will be a colossal waste of my time...time I should have spent with my children it appears in hindsight.

[I guarantee that this DUmmie will forsake his family again in 2008 to waste his time on a campaign upon which he will have NO EFFECT.]

I say he's being a good soldier for the cause. As for his strategy, tactics, and style...if this past 15 years is a slow recapitulation of the Civil War, he's the Sherman figure in it. Sherman as respected but unloved, ignored, or given obloquy by Northerners except his own army and Ulysses Grant. Sherman was first coldly despised by common Southern soldiers, then vociferously hated and slandered, then helplessly obloquied but passionately excoriated, and ultimately (in North Carolina) the letters speak of Southern demoralization and certainty of ruin just by his showing up with his men.

[Kerry is more like the General Joe Hooker of your cause.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: 2008election; badpitt; dummies; election2008; flipflop; johnkerry; kerry2008; kerrydefeat; marymccarthy; willpitt; willtheshill
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To: PJ-Comix
[I had a thought on John Kerry before I didn't have a thought on John Kerry.]

I had a thought on John Kerry when I took my morning dump.

21 posted on 04/24/2006 7:37:27 AM PDT by kevkrom (Posting snarky comments so you don't have to)
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To: PJ-Comix

Top 30! Who da man?


22 posted on 04/24/2006 7:38:06 AM PDT by Mr. Silverback (TRY JESUS. If you don't like Him, the devil will always take you back.)
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To: PJ-Comix
That is, unless you can get a multitude of Democrats elected this fall, introduce some legislation to get me health care, help my friends get better student loans,

Ah yes. Gimme gimme gimme. My vote is up for sale. Whatta greedy POS... so much for "ask not what your country can do for you." This person has no idea what this country stands for.

23 posted on 04/24/2006 7:38:53 AM PDT by wizardoz
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To: PJ-Comix
Heehee! Let's post these again:




24 posted on 04/24/2006 7:45:44 AM PDT by SquirrelKing
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To: LUV W

Pitt is praying (preying) for a Kerry staff job. Either as a press secretary or as a speech writer. Trouble for Pitt is that Kerry's campaign is DOOMED to fail. If Pitt does wangle a job (most likely UNPAID) in the Kerry campaign, he would soon be angling secretly for a position in the Hillary or Gore campaign. Most likely he would try for the new position by SELLING OUT Kerry just like he SOLD OUT Kucinich when he was the Press Secretary for that campaign and then got canned when the Kucinich people discovered that Pitt was secretly working for the Kerry campaign at the same time.


25 posted on 04/24/2006 7:45:51 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix
That is, unless you can get a multitude of Democrats elected this fall, introduce some legislation to get me health care, help my friends get better student loans,

ahhh the roll call for socialism...do these idiots think that these "rights" just appear out of thin air? Do they not realize that in order to have these "rights" some one else has to be enslaved?

Liberals are idiots.
26 posted on 04/24/2006 7:45:55 AM PDT by socialismisinsidious ( The socialist income tax system turns US citizens into beggars or quitters!)
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To: reformedliberal
11k votes could be Wisconsin.

Then this DUmmie was GOTV by handing out cartons of cigarettes to homeless people in exchange for them voting for Kerry.

27 posted on 04/24/2006 7:47:22 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix

Can you just imagine that self-important nobody as speech writer for Kerry? He would find a way to insert his name into every speech! LOL! He is so transparent in his grovelling at the feet of this failed candidate. Why Kerry even thinks he has a chance when it is foregone that Hitlery will be the candidate is a mystery in itself.


28 posted on 04/24/2006 7:50:52 AM PDT by luvie (A free Iraq . ... will serve as an amazing example for people who are desperate for freedom! GWB)
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To: PJ-Comix
I say he's being a good soldier for the cause. As for his strategy, tactics, and style...if this past 15 years is a slow recapitulation of the Civil War, he's the Sherman figure in it.

There is one point the poster is missing -- Sherman won battles (his march to the sea as a case in point). Besides a failed presidential campaign what legislative battles has Kerry fought (won or lost) in the past 10 years?
29 posted on 04/24/2006 7:51:25 AM PDT by Talking_Mouse (Indeed I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just... Thomas Jefferson)
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To: LUV W

Also if Algore jumps into the campaign, almost ALL Kerry support would INSTANTLY disappear. Like I said the two most entertaining aspects of the 2008 primary campaign season will be the total mental meltdowns of Kerry AND McCain when they realize they WON'T be nominated.


30 posted on 04/24/2006 7:56:37 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix
Hey, Pitt, why not just post a thread titled, "John Kerry: HIRE MEEEEEE!!!"

I want to see Will Pitt standing outside Bukowski's, as Kerry drives by in a limo, and he's holding this sign:

WILL SHILL
FOR FOOD DRINK

31 posted on 04/24/2006 8:02:42 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Will the Shill.)
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To: LUV W

Something weird is up with Blogspot. I think they were in the middle of making some changes and it somehow interefed with the Posting function on their Blog site.


32 posted on 04/24/2006 8:02:42 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Pitt had THREE Kerry Shill threads over the weekend. He must be desperate for a job in a campaign DOOMED to fail.


33 posted on 04/24/2006 8:03:52 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix

...not to mention the number of pure nutcases that are running! It is going to be a circus this time, I fear...or anticipate. It will be GREAT for the DUFU!!!


34 posted on 04/24/2006 8:05:33 AM PDT by luvie (A free Iraq . ... will serve as an amazing example for people who are desperate for freedom! GWB)
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To: PJ-Comix
Will the Shill needs to do like these Kerry supporters and get a sign and stand on a street corner:


35 posted on 04/24/2006 8:06:12 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Will the Shill.)
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To: PJ-Comix

You need a refund! How dare they. Hope they get it resolved soon. Is the Blog becoming really popular?


36 posted on 04/24/2006 8:07:27 AM PDT by luvie (A free Iraq . ... will serve as an amazing example for people who are desperate for freedom! GWB)
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To: Charles Henrickson

I think that after his PDA fiasco trying to get their PDA approved Congressional candidate nominated, that his funds from that source have dried up. Thus Pitt is desperate for another political job. Hey, Pitt! Ever consider getting a regular job (but NOT as a substitute teacher surrounded by young girls)?


37 posted on 04/24/2006 8:07:29 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix
I worked 14 to 20 hour days for 7 months . . . .

Right there I know Pitt is making this up.

38 posted on 04/24/2006 8:09:50 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Will the Shill.)
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To: PJ-Comix

TOP 40!


39 posted on 04/24/2006 8:10:06 AM PDT by FDNYRHEROES (Always bring a liberal to a gunfight)
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To: Charles Henrickson
WILL SHILL FOR FOOD DRINK

UNDERAGE GIRLS.

40 posted on 04/24/2006 8:15:58 AM PDT by kevkrom (Posting snarky comments so you don't have to)
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