Short Story Critiques Requested

eudaimonia and other pursuits ^ | 4/18/2006 | mt

[mft112345]

Synopsis:

Since the death of his fiancée, George has become a drop out, heavy drug user and -- most recently -- a homeless street performer in Washington, D.C. Recovery seems possible after he saves the life of a congressman's relative and gains access to her wealth, but hidden enemies and his own inner turmoil threaten to drag him to new lows.

Please read story at http://eudaimonia4u.blogspot.com/2006/04/short-story-by-mt.html

and offer constructive criticism. Thanks for your help.

[Alien Gunfighter]

Marked for later read.

[Jaysun]

Just a quick suggestion for now: consider some synonyms for the word "crap" as it's overused in the beginning of the story.

[mft112345]

Thanks. I removed the word.