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DUmmie FUnnies 01-20-06 ("I am overwhelmed with grief. I feel the USA is dying ...")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | January 20, 2006 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 01/20/2006 5:09:15 AM PST by PJ-Comix

I LOVE reading apocalyptic DUmmie threads. Their doom and gloom attitude is always a great source for comedic entertainment. And there seems to have been a great increase in the number of DUmmie apocalyptic threads lately. Perhaps this is due to the impending confirmation of Judge Alito to the Supreme Court. Hope as they may, there is NO WAY to stop his confirmation. Thus we are presented with images of the ApocAlito in which Supreme Court Justices actually interpret the Constitution as it was WRITTEN and throw out the whole dopey liberal concept of a "Living" Constitution (interpreting it whatever liberal way they want). Another big factor in DUmmie depression is the fact that Fitzmas came and went without delivering up the promised gift in the form of a frog walking Karl Rove. All these factors and more have led to the incredible level of DUmmie angst as seen in this DUFU edition's featured THREAD, melodramatically titled, "I am overwhelmed with grief. I feel the USA is dying ..." So let us enjoy the whiney bleatings of the DUmmies in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, with a front row seat at the Prozac Theater of the Absurd, is in the [brackets]:

I am overwhelmed with grief. I feel the USA is dying ... the shit is piled so high, this country and it's greatness is suffocating ...I cried when Kerry lost the election but this is worse ...there seems to be no hope in sight. Tell me if I am wrong. America is dying.

[Cheer up! Fitzmas is coming soon...right after the arrival of the Great Pumpkin.]

You feel overwhelmed because there is so much coming out now. The lid is finally blowing. I know it does seem overwhelming, but worse is when none of this was coming out. The secrets and lies are being bared and it makes me want to fight harder. Now is not the time to give in. Now in this slowly growing light, we must push on and push hard. This country will survive because of people like you and I. Believe it. Enjoy these moments to tell your grandkids about. Look back and feel pride for your courage in the storm. You are right, and you have the right. You are saving this dream, you are the patriot that our forefathers are talking to in the Declaration of Independence.

[Some whiney little shmuck is tapping away in his underwear in front of the glow of a 'puter screen deep in the basement of his parent's house screeching "WOE IS US!" and he is somehow supposed to be "the patriot that our forefathers are talking to in the Declaration of Independence?" Oh well, if it helps him make it over the eternal hump perhaps it is a humanitarian act to feed him this line of BS.]

You have spoken in such a way that I can only say how beautiful it is. Those are the words of bravery. Of pride. And truth.

[And whine.]

You are right -- I used to feel overwhelmed as well. One of the reasons was because these m-fers were getting away with everything. The truth is starting to come out and they are sweating it. I am starting to feel better about things.

[Merry Fitzmas and have a Happy ApocAlito!]

I wonder will people fall for the bullshit or will we get our country back? The more pissed off I get the more I want to do something.

[Then try shifting your butt a bit in your computer chair.]

Got to get practical, though--and address ourselves to the mechanism of our sovereignty as a people: our right to vote, which the fascists have effectively taken away. We MUST get it back. Priority no. 1.

[Have you tried defacing a Diebold truck yet? That should bring back your voting rights.]

Yes, we do need to fight harder. And I'm so glad you feel our country will survive. I guess I do too. I will continue to fight the good fight, 'cause I'm not going down quietly.

[You will heroically go down loudly belching chocolate chip cookies.]

There has never been a time like this in American history. One cadre controls all the levers of power, government, the media, and the mechanism which counts the votes. This has never happened before.

[I'll analyze your rant in greater detail later right after I'm done reprogramming more Diebold source code.]

Ultimately Chimpco's "disasters" do not matter insofar as affecting the electoral process.

[LOL! Chimpco. Thanx for another FUnnie word to use in addition to Chimpus Khan. Chimpco is like the corporate version of Chimpus Khan.]

We are done. The only question remaining is when the rest of the world decides it has had enough of the United States of America and takes corrective action. Time is running out.

[Perhaps Iran can take "corrective action" by nuking us?]

Late on election day 2004, the corporate news monopolies, acting in concert, through one polling organization, DOCTORED their own exit polls (which Kerry won) to force them to "fit" the results they received from two Bushite electronic voting firms--Diebold and ES&S--who tabulated 80% of the vote using 'TRADE SECRET,' PROPRIETARY programming code, with virtually no audit/recount controls (a non-transparent election system that was wide open to fraud). I believe that, in fact, Kerry won that election by a landslide (at least a 5% margin), and that, because Kerry's win was so big, Bushite operatives in Ohio had to implement Plan B, the massive, egregious and visible violations of the Voting Rights Act against black and other voters that are documented in the Conyers report. By these two illegal means, the vote was flipped over to Bush.

[It sounds like you were hitting the "victory" champagne as heavily as Susan Estrich.]

Americans didn't buy Bush's lies. They never have. But they ARE affected by this ILLUSION of a rightwing majority. It makes members of the progressive majority feel isolated and alone--and very disempowered.

[Ah! You've hit the nail on the head. The vast majority of the Americans are as loony as the DUmmies are. They voted in a landslide to elect Kerry but only Diebold manipulation created the illusion that the loonies lost.]

But things ARE changing, and very rapidly--on the election reform front, and many other fronts. I think that this great progressive majority will get together and re-assert itself--and is doing just that. I'm not saying things aren't scary and precarious. They are. But I think that the NAKEDNESS and UGLINESS of this Bush junta power grab is exposing the whole anti-democratic structure of corporate rule, and I think that the corporate rulers are about to take a very big fall. Their power is built on lies and illusions. It has no solidity. The rightwing that it is based on is at the same level it has ALWAYS been (about 30% to 40%). There IS no rightwing majority, or even anyting close to it.

[Fixing voting machines is sooo 2004. Our next step in the fascist power grab is to ensure that only patsy Democrat nominees sure to fail go up against Republicans. Case in point: Hillary. Karl Rove is at work behind the scenes to ensure her '08 nomination. Squawk all you want, DUmmies, but Hillary WILL be your nominee.]

I am a formal newspaper reporter. I was trained that when I walked into city hall or other government buildings as a reporter that I was the "eyes and the ears of the public". Without journalists and media sources that have a conscience and feel they watch and listen for us, the masses are easily controlled ...I'm trying hard not to feel hopeless ...

[I would feel mighty hopeless myself if I were a "formal" newspaper reporter and had your grade school level of grammar.]

I can't explain it but I just felt like a friend died only it was my country ...I cried. I can't explain it other than the first poster might be right ...it's overwhelming to handle all the crap that is coming to the surface now ...I'm glad it is but it's overwhelming to realize that the American people let this happen, let this insidious cancerous group take over ...

[There is nothing wrong with your Diebold machine. Do not attempt to adjust the ballot. We are controlling the results. If we wish to make it more Republican , we will bring up the votes. If we wish to make it closer, we will fine tune it to a squeaker. We can reduce the voting to a light turnout, or increase it to a landslide. We will control the House. We will control the Senate. For the next four years, sit quietly and we will control all that you see and hear. You are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the inner mind to... The Diebold Limits.]

I'm torn between staying away from DU and finding it a refuge of the only people-and the other blogs I read- that get what's really happening to our country. If I stay away, read or do anything else I can feel better for awhile and put it away-but then it comes back. I can keep the TV off. But I can't be in denial..and no one around me feels as much alarm as I do. Because my friends aren't political, liberal, not religious, but not political. This is the only place I can say what I feel and even feel okay if it's challenged because I know most of the people here GET it. That I'm not insane. It is this bad. And it's happening as we watch. Maybe an overnight coup would be better, yah know..the slow death thing is agony as nothing good happens where we know we are in the rightgeous camp and they are not.

[DUmmieland is the Safe House for the Loooooonies.]

You are cutting your losses again and again with this WH full off rutting Bull elephants. No civilized society can handle rutting Bull elephants. Why you never see them in Zoos. It is painful and it hurts. You must remember to cry and grieve and get it out. The only way. Your losses are real. So - accept the awful situation you are in will go on for a bit more and cry.

[So just accept your awful situation and allow yourself to be painfully rutted by a bull elephant. You may cry but you will be allowed to smoke a cigarette in the morning.]

I've been there. I know how much it hurts.

[Yes. Being rutted by a bull elephant can be quite painful.]

What is really difficult is that I also work for a poor Indian tribe and have to deal with the decreasing lack of funding available to them to provide services to their people, basic services. Every day,I cross a city street and go into a "sovereign nation" territory and try to find ways to help, find funding, etc. and it's all drying up because this country craps on its own people while killing the people of other lands.

[Seminoles? Yes, it is terrible to go onto a Seminole reservation. I always have a hell of a time finding a parking space at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino.]

Nothing for you to do but FIGHT. Fight to the death. Fight until we win. Buck up, friend. You are not alone.

[Fight to the DEATH or when your ISP service is terminated by Mommy...whichever is first.]

I'm f*cking GLAD Kerry didn't win. #1 because I don't like Kerry and never have. #2 because George Bush and the GOP criminal establishment will now be held accountable for what they've done to our nation. If that includes criminal conviction and jail time, all the better.

[Um...Is this what they call making lemonade from lemons?]

Reality bites.

[Cheer up! The Alternate Reality is waiting for you in the Other Dimension at the end of the Space/Time Continuum.]

I wasn't in a very good mood today at work because I was thinking about all the neocon crap. Sometimes it all gets to me. It's a good thing I am on antidepressants, or I just don't know how I would be able to cope at all.

[Prozac with a Lithium chaser?]

I cried for two days after the last "election" was stolen.

[Since you were on Suicide Watch after the 2002 elections, you are showing signs of improvement!]

The 'USA' was founded on Deceit, Death and Destruction. its Karma had to catch up with it sometime.

[Thus spaketh a future delegate to the Democrat National Convention. Hey flyarm! You have competition.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: depresseddems; dummies
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WOO! HOO! I learned how to do some basic sound editing on the Audacity software last night. I even compressed a sound file into an MP3 format. Yeah, for you sound engineers out there this is no big deal but for a Newbie in this field such as myself, it is a big deal. Anyway, it looks like sound editing won't be nearly as difficult as I thought. And I definitely do need to do a LOT of sound editing for my upcoming DUmmie FUnnies Audio Podcast.

Let me know if you want on the DUmmie FUnnies PING List.

1 posted on 01/20/2006 5:09:19 AM PST by PJ-Comix
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To: PJ-Comix

in before the ping.


2 posted on 01/20/2006 5:10:30 AM PST by Mercat (sometimes God calms the storm, sometimes he lets the storm rage and calms the child)
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To: Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; thingumbob; tje; ml1954; ...

PING!


3 posted on 01/20/2006 5:10:43 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix

Bump!


4 posted on 01/20/2006 5:13:43 AM PST by Jaxter ("Vivit Post Funera Virtus")
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To: PJ-Comix

top 10, woo hoo!


5 posted on 01/20/2006 5:14:08 AM PST by jurroppi1
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To: PJ-Comix

Top 10!!!


6 posted on 01/20/2006 5:16:55 AM PST by Blue Eyes (Praying for a miracle.)
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To: jurroppi1

Top 10?


7 posted on 01/20/2006 5:17:04 AM PST by BeHoldAPaleHorse
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To: PJ-Comix
Late on election day 2004, the corporate news monopolies, acting in concert, through one polling organization, DOCTORED their own exit polls (which Kerry won) to force them to "fit" the results they received

Yeas, however, this is proper procedure to normalize the result of the exit poll to match the demographics of the people who actually voted using a standard, mathematically sound method. The normalized exit polls were much closer to the final vote total that I actually expected, given that it was the first time out for a new polling system.

8 posted on 01/20/2006 5:17:21 AM PST by kevkrom (How do you discredit someone with no credibility?)
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To: PJ-Comix
the massive, egregious and visible violations of the Voting Rights Act against black and other voters that are documented in the Conyers report

And yet the only non-partisan examination of voting fraud and irregularities showed that it was the Democrats who were generally involved in nefarious activities.

9 posted on 01/20/2006 5:19:03 AM PST by kevkrom (How do you discredit someone with no credibility?)
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To: PJ-Comix
The only question remaining is when the rest of the world decides it has had enough of the United States of America and takes corrective action. Time is running out.

Er...are these buffoons actually praying (and I use the term loosely) for another 911? Yeah, I know, that was barely a blip on their Grand Scheme of Things radar and the last 5 years have been sheer torture, but are they hoping some rogue nation with a nuke attacks the U.S.? (Rhetorical questions, I guess. I know the answer, even though I don't want to believe it's true.)

10 posted on 01/20/2006 5:20:38 AM PST by shezza (21 days <-- Woo hoo!)
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To: PJ-Comix

You are right -- I used to feel overwhelmed as well. One of the reasons was because these m-fers were getting away with everything. The truth is starting to come out and they are sweating it. I am starting to feel better about things.

 


Communist Goals 1963 Congressional Record

11 posted on 01/20/2006 5:22:09 AM PST by Fintan (See??? Sometimes I do read the articles.)
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To: PJ-Comix

12th!?


12 posted on 01/20/2006 5:24:14 AM PST by The_Victor (If all I want is a warm feeling, I should just wet my pants.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Hope as they may, there is NO WAY to stop his confirmation.

Don't underestimate the infanticide lobby. They're working around-the-clock on their next Anita Hill. All they need is a willing pawn.

There's a reason for this delay. Don't kid yourselves.

13 posted on 01/20/2006 5:25:00 AM PST by WhistlingPastTheGraveyard (Yes. The man really does have a dog named "Splash".)
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To: PJ-Comix
The DUmmie Lament

Doom, despair and agony on me
deep dark depression, excessive misery
if it weren't for bad luck I'd have no luck at all
doom, despair and agony on me

(Scalia, Thomas, Robert and Alito: The four horseman of the DU Apocalypse. Ride 'em down, boys. Ride 'em down hard.)

14 posted on 01/20/2006 5:26:36 AM PST by JCEccles
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To: PJ-Comix
Got to get practical, though--and address ourselves to the mechanism of our sovereignty as a people: our right to vote, which the fascists have effectively taken away. We MUST get it back. Priority no. 1.

Ooookay. . . So, the tires of their trucks were slashed as well? (Who knew?)

Or is the reference here to the fact that new voters have to register. . .or that 'felons' cannot. . .

Could some DU'er step forward and 'splain'?

15 posted on 01/20/2006 5:28:12 AM PST by cricket
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To: PJ-Comix
" What is really difficult is that I also work for a poor Indian tribe and have to deal with the decreasing lack of funding available to them to provide services to their people, basic services. Every day,I cross a city street and go into a "sovereign nation" territory and try to find ways to help, find funding, etc. and it's all drying up because this country craps on its own people while killing the people of other lands." Yeah that decreasing lack of funding is just so painful to watch... Of course it was painful for me to watch a "native American" that had just come off of "sovereign nation" so drunk he couldn't drive well enough not to cause a head on collision with me while I was almost fully in the shoulder on my side of the road trying to avoid him. What was more painful is the police stated they couldn't do anything to him because he was drinking on the reservation and they didn't have jurisdiction there. Thanks for the permanent disability sovereign nation! Oh, and thanks to the prick that hit me; for making that your 4th DWI, Driving without insurance, and driving after revocation and being able to get away without so much as a physical injury of any sort, or any legal/financial obligations... Yeah, the sovereign nation is so bad off... B.S. I see all the casinos, and how much money they make! They could take care of their own people if they had the wherewithal to do so.
16 posted on 01/20/2006 5:30:19 AM PST by jurroppi1
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To: PJ-Comix
"sovereign nation" territory and try to find ways to help, find funding, etc. and it's all drying up because this country craps on its own people while killing the people of other lands

So are they our own people or are they a sovereign nation?

17 posted on 01/20/2006 5:32:32 AM PST by normy (Don't hit at all if it is honorably possible to avoid hitting; but never hit soft.)
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To: JCEccles

18 posted on 01/20/2006 5:35:42 AM PST by MEG33 (GOD BLESS OUR ARMED FORCES)
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To: PJ-Comix
I believe that, in fact, Kerry won that election by a landslide (at least a 5% margin), and that, because Kerry's win was so big, Bushite operatives in Ohio had to implement Plan B, the massive, egregious and visible violations of the Voting Rights Act against black and other voters that are documented in the Conyers report. By these two illegal means, the vote was flipped over to Bush.

"I BELEEEEEIVE!!!!!"

19 posted on 01/20/2006 5:37:09 AM PST by shezza (21 days <-- Woo hoo!)
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To: PJ-Comix
I am overwhelmed with grief. I feel the USA is dying ... the shit is piled so high, this country and it's greatness is suffocating ...I cried when Kerry lost the election but this is worse ...there seems to be no hope in sight. Tell me if I am wrong. America is dying.

I would say to this writer: Cheer up. America isn't dying; just your stupid party.

20 posted on 01/20/2006 5:38:26 AM PST by Christopher Lincoln
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