Posted on 01/10/2006 12:53:41 PM PST by Millee
Women control us.
They can catapult us into instant, spontaneous lust, and, at the same time, into a knee-buckling fear of rejection. The very thought of a ripe, firm body can tyrannize our thoughts, leaving us sweaty and panting and out of control. And the dangling promise of sex can have us jumping through every female hoop imaginable.
Not a good situation. As men, we need to learn to turn the tables on this kind of female domination; to regain the upper hand in our interaction with the opposite sex. So how do we do this? Here are a few ways to put you back in the driver's seat in your dating life.
1- Wussy not Desperation stinks, and women can sniff out insecurity. So even if you're Brad Pitt's better-looking brother, you still need to exude tons of confidence if you want to attract the ladies. This doesn't mean arrogance or acting like a selfish jerk. It means living with a secure sense of your masculine self; a rock-solid belief in your own worthiness as a desirable man.
Don't wussy out.
Wussy guys are always seeking approval from women -- paying for female attention, pandering to their every desire, acting as if a woman is doing them a favor by even talking to them. They are desperate for sex and terrified of rejection. They hover around the fringes, hoping to get noticed by available females.
Instead of asking women out, they give them their business cards, then wait by a phone that never rings. They allow themselves to be sex-ploited by women. In other words, they act like doormats, not men. The result? Women either lose all respect and get turned off, or simply take advantage of them.
Women love confident men. So even if you feel like jelly inside, act confident around the opposite sex. Have a plan for your life. Have a direction. Work out, eat right. Feel good about yourself. Be proactive in your relations with women. All this will show on your face and women will instantly recognize it.
2- No more games Playing hard-to-get, not returning phone calls, seeing how many hoops they can make a guy jump through -- women love to play these games. Games empower women. They instinctively know how to keep men off-balance and how to keep them coming back, panting for more. Every game a woman plays is a test in her mind -- she's testing you too see how much you'll put up with (in other words, how much can she get away with), how desperate you are for sex and how successful your dating life is (the more you tolerate her tests, the more of a dating loser you are).
So if you want to get the upper hand, you absolutely have to call her on her games. If she plays hard to get, then tell her you have no time for it, and it's been nice knowing her. If she doesn't return your call, stop calling her. Most guys do the opposite -- when a women makes herself unavailable, they double or triple the effort of their pursuit. They call 10 times a day. They send flowers. They show up at her workplace. They play right into a woman's hands and surrender all control of the relationship. Don't do this.
Don't be desperate for sex and always have a backup 3- Keep it in your pants Women know they can control men with sex. They know that most men will do anything for even a chance at getting laid. So if you want the upper hand, you have to be the master of your domain -- you can't let Little Elvis lead you around by the nose. As soon as you need a woman, you've handed her total control on a plate. But if you change your attitude from needing to wanting, then you've taken a vital step toward upper hand freedom.
So don't jump when she offers sex. Don't always be the one who initiates bedtime fun. If she starts playing manipulation games, act like her body doesn't turn you on. If she knows she has you by the balls, it's all over, buddy.
4- Don't be at her beck & call Women love a challenge -- as soon as they find out they can't have something, they want it 100 times more. It's the basic stuff of their psychology. So at the start of a new relationship, be a bit aloof. Don't be a yes-man.
Take a page from her playbook and don't return all her calls. Be busy. Don't be available every weekend (and don't offer explanations about your plans). Keep her wondering if you really want to be with her. Make her work for it -- this will keep the power balance out of her clutches.
5- Develop a new attitude Putting women on pedestals may be great for them, but it's dating suicide for guys. A lot of men act like a woman is doing them a favor by dating them, as if she's a great prize they have to prove themselves worthy of attaining. In other words, women have what men want, and men have to work hard to get it. This is just another case of handing all your power over to women. So turn this around -- change your basic attitude. You're the prize, not her. It goes hand-in-hand with your essential confidence.
6- Have a backup Women love to get their way. They throw tantrums, they cry, they manipulate men with sexual blackmail. This is not to be tolerated, so at the first sign of any serious BS from your woman, be prepared to walk. If you roll over and wuss out, you're doomed. She's looking for control and you can't afford to give it to her. At the start of a new relationship, the Upper Hand Guy always has a few strings to his bow, so before you get too involved, it's not a bad idea to have a backup woman in your stable if your new girlfriend goes ballistic. This way, it's easy to take a walk with the knowledge that you have somewhere to go.
7- Be awesome in bed Unlike men, women can get laid any time they desire, simply by asking. But women are far more discriminating about their sexual choices than men are -- and they are looking for great sex. To maintain the upper hand, you have to make sure you're a champion between the sheets. Most guys are so average in the sex department that if you know how to please her, she won't want to lose you. This gives you excellent upper-hand leverage.
8- Make a ton of money If you really want the upper hand, get rich -- you will have women kissing your feet.
stay on top
Women love to control relationships. And too many guys just wuss out and hand over all their power, letting their sex drive get in the way of any common sense. But it doesn't have to be like this, as long as we guys make the effort to change the balance of this power, to take back the upper hand.
Ultimately, a relationship should not be about control, but about partnership -- a lesson that women will only learn if we take the upper hand and teach them.
For others, it takes longer. But it is worth the wait. Never settle. You will be miserable.
No, but they always end up there anyway, so it really doesn't make much difference how tall he is ;~D
Whatever floats yours and hers boats I say.
If women that are five foot two are looking for men who are five foot nine or taller is their only criteria then you probably wouldn't be interested in them anyway.
LOL, my ex husband is 6'2" and I'm 5'1".
Great now that he's your husband... But when he first met you that's why he was first attracted to you?
That's the type I'm talking about.
Well at least he's your ex now. More for the taller women folk.
Not the only criteria.
Basically here's the thing. About 3 years ago, I answered an ad on match.com. This girl was cute, about 5'10 and a half, a South Park Republican type, total 80s metalhead like me, basically the PERFECT girl...but...she flat out told me "I am sorry, you're a sweet guy but I just can't be with a short man...I just can't find you attractive." Ever since then it's been a sore spot with me, since I can't do a damn thing about being short.
LOL...he remarried (someone taller than me)...go figure.
She wasn't worth it in the first place...good thing you found that out early.
She said that to you on a first date? Are you sure that was the real reason or just one she made up?
I guess there is some justice left in the world.
Well about the second date...I dunno, maybe it was something else. Hard to tell...which brings up another peeve...women do this, but honestly, so do men:
Please don't make up lies as to why you're breaking up!!
I forgot to mention they are separated...LOL
Hmmm - let me know when. I'll bet that would be entertaining..........
Well my husband is six foot three and at five foot ten I found that attractive about him. But what at first attracted me was his mind and respect for me.
Exactly... too much difference in height looks funny, but as long as people are in the realm of average, I can't imagine it making enough difference to mention it.
I suppose on reflection, my dad's lady friend is taller than he is. My dad's a fairly short guy, but since he's my dad I will always see him as bigger'n me. :~D
With that date, my eyes WERE right at breast level whether I wanted them to be or not.
Too much, yeah that's weird. I don't mind an inch or two taller though.
Women having very few (if any) female friends and a bunch of male friends is indeed quite a prominent red flag, and the standard excuses seem to be "I just relate better to men." ...."most women are too catty/jealous/envious to be friends with."
I detest 'hinters'....if they'd just come out and SAY it, you'd be done with it, but NOOOOO. You have to take a half an hour just to draaaaag it out of 'em!
I dunno, one thing that's true is I do tend to get along better with "one of the guys" type girls (the shoot pool, play poker, shoot guns and drink beer type), although now that I think about it, they also have lots of female friends.
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