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8 Ways To Keep The Upper Hand With Women
AskMen.com ^ | Matthew Fitzgerald

Posted on 01/10/2006 12:53:41 PM PST by Millee

Women control us.

They can catapult us into instant, spontaneous lust, and, at the same time, into a knee-buckling fear of rejection. The very thought of a ripe, firm body can tyrannize our thoughts, leaving us sweaty and panting and out of control. And the dangling promise of sex can have us jumping through every female hoop imaginable.

Not a good situation. As men, we need to learn to turn the tables on this kind of female domination; to regain the upper hand in our interaction with the opposite sex. So how do we do this? Here are a few ways to put you back in the driver's seat in your dating life.

1- Wussy not Desperation stinks, and women can sniff out insecurity. So even if you're Brad Pitt's better-looking brother, you still need to exude tons of confidence if you want to attract the ladies. This doesn't mean arrogance or acting like a selfish jerk. It means living with a secure sense of your masculine self; a rock-solid belief in your own worthiness as a desirable man.

Don't wussy out.

Wussy guys are always seeking approval from women -- paying for female attention, pandering to their every desire, acting as if a woman is doing them a favor by even talking to them. They are desperate for sex and terrified of rejection. They hover around the fringes, hoping to get noticed by available females.

Instead of asking women out, they give them their business cards, then wait by a phone that never rings. They allow themselves to be sex-ploited by women. In other words, they act like doormats, not men. The result? Women either lose all respect and get turned off, or simply take advantage of them.

Women love confident men. So even if you feel like jelly inside, act confident around the opposite sex. Have a plan for your life. Have a direction. Work out, eat right. Feel good about yourself. Be proactive in your relations with women. All this will show on your face and women will instantly recognize it.

2- No more games Playing hard-to-get, not returning phone calls, seeing how many hoops they can make a guy jump through -- women love to play these games. Games empower women. They instinctively know how to keep men off-balance and how to keep them coming back, panting for more. Every game a woman plays is a test in her mind -- she's testing you too see how much you'll put up with (in other words, how much can she get away with), how desperate you are for sex and how successful your dating life is (the more you tolerate her tests, the more of a dating loser you are).

So if you want to get the upper hand, you absolutely have to call her on her games. If she plays hard to get, then tell her you have no time for it, and it's been nice knowing her. If she doesn't return your call, stop calling her. Most guys do the opposite -- when a women makes herself unavailable, they double or triple the effort of their pursuit. They call 10 times a day. They send flowers. They show up at her workplace. They play right into a woman's hands and surrender all control of the relationship. Don't do this.

Don't be desperate for sex and always have a backup 3- Keep it in your pants Women know they can control men with sex. They know that most men will do anything for even a chance at getting laid. So if you want the upper hand, you have to be the master of your domain -- you can't let Little Elvis lead you around by the nose. As soon as you need a woman, you've handed her total control on a plate. But if you change your attitude from needing to wanting, then you've taken a vital step toward upper hand freedom.

So don't jump when she offers sex. Don't always be the one who initiates bedtime fun. If she starts playing manipulation games, act like her body doesn't turn you on. If she knows she has you by the balls, it's all over, buddy.

4- Don't be at her beck & call Women love a challenge -- as soon as they find out they can't have something, they want it 100 times more. It's the basic stuff of their psychology. So at the start of a new relationship, be a bit aloof. Don't be a yes-man.

Take a page from her playbook and don't return all her calls. Be busy. Don't be available every weekend (and don't offer explanations about your plans). Keep her wondering if you really want to be with her. Make her work for it -- this will keep the power balance out of her clutches.

5- Develop a new attitude Putting women on pedestals may be great for them, but it's dating suicide for guys. A lot of men act like a woman is doing them a favor by dating them, as if she's a great prize they have to prove themselves worthy of attaining. In other words, women have what men want, and men have to work hard to get it. This is just another case of handing all your power over to women. So turn this around -- change your basic attitude. You're the prize, not her. It goes hand-in-hand with your essential confidence.

6- Have a backup Women love to get their way. They throw tantrums, they cry, they manipulate men with sexual blackmail. This is not to be tolerated, so at the first sign of any serious BS from your woman, be prepared to walk. If you roll over and wuss out, you're doomed. She's looking for control and you can't afford to give it to her. At the start of a new relationship, the Upper Hand Guy always has a few strings to his bow, so before you get too involved, it's not a bad idea to have a backup woman in your stable if your new girlfriend goes ballistic. This way, it's easy to take a walk with the knowledge that you have somewhere to go.

7- Be awesome in bed Unlike men, women can get laid any time they desire, simply by asking. But women are far more discriminating about their sexual choices than men are -- and they are looking for great sex. To maintain the upper hand, you have to make sure you're a champion between the sheets. Most guys are so average in the sex department that if you know how to please her, she won't want to lose you. This gives you excellent upper-hand leverage.

8- Make a ton of money If you really want the upper hand, get rich -- you will have women kissing your feet.

stay on top

Women love to control relationships. And too many guys just wuss out and hand over all their power, letting their sex drive get in the way of any common sense. But it doesn't have to be like this, as long as we guys make the effort to change the balance of this power, to take back the upper hand.

Ultimately, a relationship should not be about control, but about partnership -- a lesson that women will only learn if we take the upper hand and teach them.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: genderwars; pissant; wimmenarescary; women
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To: RockinRight

That's okay sweetie. I'm sure there's someone out there for you.


101 posted on 01/10/2006 1:25:39 PM PST by Auntbee
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To: RockinRight
Jersey is just as bad. I had to go to Pa. to find a non-lib.
102 posted on 01/10/2006 1:26:00 PM PST by Jersey Republican Biker Chick (Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.)
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To: LongElegantLegs

Well, if cleavage is used as a weapon, it should always have sequins.

103 posted on 01/10/2006 1:26:25 PM PST by najida (When I'm good, I'm very very good, and when I'm bad, things get broken.)
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Comment #104 Removed by Moderator

To: texan75010

"What do you think of my loincloth, Hillary?"
"Sigh........my prince has come."

105 posted on 01/10/2006 1:27:15 PM PST by Liz (You may not be interested in politics; doesn't mean politics isn't interested in you. Pericles)
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To: RockinRight
I guess since she's a lib she wanted some guy who was gonna sit and sing "Kumbaya" or some crap like that.

You shouldn't date outside of your species.

106 posted on 01/10/2006 1:28:46 PM PST by MontanaBeth (Never under estimate the enemy.)
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To: Zeppelin
She was allowed back after the summer sex thread incident. It was a suspension.

Then there was a troll spouting off and she made a sarcastic remark that was mistaken as actual statement and Jim saw it and banned her and the troll in one zotting. I read her comment and it was sarcasm, I am sure.

107 posted on 01/10/2006 1:29:13 PM PST by Jersey Republican Biker Chick (Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.)
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To: Liz

That..is...disturbing.....


108 posted on 01/10/2006 1:30:10 PM PST by Millee (I resolve to eat and drink less.....until noon that is.....)
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To: Millee

So my question is this (after being married for 6 years), what should the guy do to KEEP the romance going?

Some of the same issues listed here, I think would apply.


109 posted on 01/10/2006 1:30:35 PM PST by MadCharity (Islam - The religion of pieces and shrapnel...)
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To: W Tannenbaum

The Least shall be the First.


110 posted on 01/10/2006 1:31:02 PM PST by the OlLine Rebel (Common sense is an uncommon virtue.)
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To: Clemenza
What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?

Nothing, you already told her twice.

My husbands favorite joke...
111 posted on 01/10/2006 1:32:29 PM PST by MadCharity (Islam - The religion of pieces and shrapnel...)
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To: misterrob; Jersey Republican Biker Chick; arasina; colorcountry; JLO; najida; Auntbee; BerthaDee; ..
Additional Ones: (for the man)
1) Be a man worthy of respect.
2) Have something else to do in this world that doesn't involve her
3) Have frequent time out with other men. Do it on Saturday nights now and then.
4) Don't waste your time on women who have lots of "friends".
5) Cell phone only means trouble
6) Never give a woman all of your love, time or money


And for women...

1) Be a WOman worthy of respect.
2) Have something else to do in this world that doesn't involve him.
3) Have frequent time out with other WOmen. Do it on Saturday nights now and then. (Don't forget your friends!)
4) Don't waste your time on men who have lots of "friends".
5) Cell phone only means trouble
6) Never give a man all of your love, time or money - or base your happiness on him.

NOTICE ANYTHING?

112 posted on 01/10/2006 1:32:47 PM PST by Dashing Dasher (Never find fault with the absent. -Alexander Pope)
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To: W Tannenbaum

See, that's my almost my ideal household; but that wouldn't work for alot of women. And that's cool...But it's hard to find a guy that will give the kind of support required to make that family work.


113 posted on 01/10/2006 1:32:52 PM PST by LongElegantLegs (Puppymillalicious!)
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To: MadCharity

To be honest, I'm really not into "romance". Make me laugh, help around the house, etc. and I'm a happy gal.


114 posted on 01/10/2006 1:35:23 PM PST by Millee (I resolve to eat and drink less.....until noon that is.....)
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To: RockinRight
For men, sex is like pizza. Even when it's bad, it's still kinda good, and you'll still eat it until you're full.

Even if it's cold?
115 posted on 01/10/2006 1:36:10 PM PST by MadCharity (Islam - The religion of pieces and shrapnel...)
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To: Dashing Dasher

Why are cell phones trouble, just curious?


116 posted on 01/10/2006 1:36:19 PM PST by RockinRight (The Republicans Suck Less than the Democrats)
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To: Millee

I'm lucky. I get romanced and he vacuums.


117 posted on 01/10/2006 1:36:37 PM PST by Auntbee
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To: Larry Lucido
Women. Sheesh!

You love us and you know it!

;-)

.

118 posted on 01/10/2006 1:36:44 PM PST by Dashing Dasher (Never find fault with the absent. -Alexander Pope)
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To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick

OK, I'm going to agree with much of what the guy is saying - most of it. The writer's got one thing very, very wrong.

I expect to be put on a pedestal. The man who doesn't get it, doesn't get any.


119 posted on 01/10/2006 1:37:23 PM PST by peacebaby (Good morning heartache, if you're gonna stay, you gotta get a job, I've got bills to pay.)
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To: MadCharity

Some guys I know don't even seem to mind that...


120 posted on 01/10/2006 1:37:53 PM PST by RockinRight (The Republicans Suck Less than the Democrats)
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