How do you survive a male mid-life crisis? (Vanity)

[HairOfTheDog]

but just like my going to FR for communication, her going to her Mom may be taking away from our communication with each other.

True enough. That can happen. My husband and I spend a lot of time sitting right next to each other staring at our dang screens! And I'm worse than he is about too much posting on FR.

[Petronski]

An affair is actually something I don't want to be more inclined to do.

Well, it's not for everyone. But maybe an affair with your wife is exactly what you need. Passion and surprise.

As Python (Monty) once said: "And now for something completely different."

[Darkwolf377]

Nope, just the ones about our relationship and its problems. (Girlfriend, not wife.) We all have secrets about ourselves, but if there is a problem that's not being discussed, it's still a problem. When we both know it and we aren't talking about it, it jsut gets worse.

[Muzzle_em]

Everything you said is sooooo true!
My husband and I laugh because we are NOT spontaneous when it comes to sex. We both insist on being freshly showered, my legs must be shaved, teeth brushed, etc.
Nothing kills the mood quicker for me than B.O. We are NOT one of those couples who jumps each other after a sweaty workout, that is for sure.

[Muzzle_em]

That is a COOL idea!
I think I'll do something like that on my next vacation with hubby.

[HairOfTheDog]

Spontaneity is overstated in movies - it just doesn't work out all that well in real life. ;~D

[ScubieNuc]

So am I to understand that women (generally speaking of course) love spontaneous acts of romance, but not spontaneous acts of affection (sex).

And men (generally speaking) love spontaneous acts of affection (sex), but dislike performing acts of spontaneous acts of romance.

Does God have a sense of humor or what!

[HairOfTheDog]

You have that right!

It's a remarkably innefficient system, isn't it?

[ScubieNuc]

I'm not ready to call it inefficient, yet. Like one poster said, if both of us were the same, then one of us is redundant. (Or something like that)

It is certainly a system that requires us to exercise faith, which was probably one of the main goals.

If only it could be easier to figure out sometimes.

8^)

[HairOfTheDog]

Ok - I say inefficient, it could just be called complex.
Sometimes it's fun to figure out complex things :~D

I heard an axiom once that I think is generally true.
Men want sex as a way to achieve a feeling of intimacy.
Women need a feeling of intimacy in order to want sex.

[ScubieNuc]

"Men want sex as a way to achieve a feeling of intimacy. Women need a feeling of intimacy in order to want sex."

Another one that I find so true is....

Men marry women assuming that that won't change, and
women marry men assuming that they can change them.

[toomanygrasshoppers]

Taking walks together is such a good idea. Mr. TMG and I enjoy that too. We are also dog lovers. I also think that couples who share a good sense of humor find it easier to get through the rough times.

[samiam1972]

A few questions for you. Does your wife have a job/hobby outside of the home? Does she ever get time to herself away from the kids? You mentioned her having low self confidence. Have you encouraged her to take a healthy cooking class with a girlfriend? Or have you maybe taken the kids away from the house for a day and let her have a day completely to her self?

Maybe she just needs a little time away from being wife/mom 24/7. Then maybe time spent together will be a little more fun. Be spontaneous. Tell everyone to pack an overnight bag and go to the local hotel with an indoor pool and play for a day. Eat take-out pizza in the room. Anything! Just get out of the rut you are in.

Oh! Don't forget to pray. A lot! :o)
Good luck to you!

[samiam1972]

One last thought.

Try sending her e-mail love notes. Nothing long or complicated. Just something to let her know you are thinking about her during the day. Maybe a link to a travel website or vacation spot with a sentence saying you wish you were there with her right then! Or join her in a chat room. Conversations tend to get a little spicier if you're not facing each other!

[Polybius]

Take a vacation to Vegas, just you and her. But give it a twist. Take separate flights, and start out in separate rooms. Then "pretend" to meet in the lounge and "pretend" to have a steamy illicit affair. Dress differently than usual, make your fantasy whatever you want: you're an up-and-coming poker player, she's an out-of-work cocktail waitress, whatever. Play it to the hilt.

That reminds me of an "All in the Family" episode when Gloria came home with a short brunette wig she had borrowed from a friend. The new look got Meathead all excited and they went up to their bedroom. When Gloria came out of the bathroom with her negligee on but without the brunette wig, Meathead asked her if she could put the wig back on.

Gloria then burst into tears and locked herself in the bathroom crying about how Meathead was a sicko who wanted to have an affair with another woman without having to feel guilty about cheating on his wife.

[coop71]

You seem to be getting a lot of advice to buy yourself a 'vette. The real answer is:

Buy your wife a Corvette. The sex will follow.

[samiam1972]

I'll second that one! Great advice!! :o)