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DUmmie FUnnies 12-30-05 (Pied PIper Pitt's Fictional Response To DUmmie FUnnies)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | December 30, 2005 | William Rives Pitt and PJ-Comix

Posted on 12/30/2005 5:24:52 AM PST by PJ-Comix

Talk about Reality Challenged DUmmies! First William Rivers (Pied Piper) Pitt posts this Reality Challenged THREAD titled, "Going Too Far (or, my conversation with the Bush supporter at the bar)" in which he was MIRACULOUSLY able to reproduce in word-for-word detail a long conversation he had with Ty, whom Pitt described as a Bush supporter who, under the guidance of the All-Wise and erudite Pitt, was able to see the error of his ways. Maybe I am far inferior to the incredible Pitt intellect but, sans tape recorder, I would be hard pressed to reproduce in quotes a long conversation I had even a few minutes earlier, much less from a least a day before as Pitt indicated. Even some DUmmies cast aspersions on Pitt's claim of being able to reproduce his conversation in all its fine detail. Then late last night, Pitt posted a reality challenged (fictional) account of what transpired between us in this DUmmie THREAD titled, in Pittian style, "In the shadow of staggering assholes." Pied Piper Pitt's fictional fantasies are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, about to correct the fictional record, is in the [brackets]:

In the shadow of staggering assholes

[Still talking about your failed September rally, eh Pitt?]

FOR THE RECORD: I say "Some DUer" in the post below because he introduced himself on the phone with a DU screen name. I will not repeat it; I don't know if this person is a banned former member or what, but regardless, I am not going to make Captain Ass any more famous. Don't ask who it was, either in this thread or via PM. I will not say. Sufficed to say, the following did happen, and the person was a present or former DUer.

[Congratulations for getting to the fiction RIGHT AWAY. FOR THE RECORD: I am not now nor have I ever been a DUmmie. And "DUmmie FUnnies" which is how I introduced myself, is a DUmmie screen name?]

Y'all maybe saw the essay I put up here yesterday, about my conversation with the bouncer at my bar:

["Y'all." Isn't that the type of terminology you ascribe to unenlightened Bush supporters in stark contrast to your own erudite commentary?]

http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/122905A.shtml

["Truthout." Appropriate name.]

Well, some folks in the thread I put up on this doubted that it was true. That's fine. I laid a challenge on the table: Ten thousand dollars says anyone can come to Boston, meet this guy, and hear from him that what I wrote was true. If I lied, I pay. If I spoke true, they pay. Strangely, no one took me up on it. Go figure.

[Why go to the trouble of hopping a flight to Boston? Making a phone call is a bit easier.]

Well.

[Will.]

Today, apparently, some DUer who doesn't much like me decided to go a different route. I didn't name the bar I go to in the piece, but this DUer knew which one it was. That means, probably, that he came to Boston for the DNC and I took him into the bosom of my hospitality, brought him to my bar, bought him beers, etc.

[LOL! The fictional assumptions in that paragraph are astounding. First of all, I have never even been to Boston ever plus, I assure you I am not now nor have I ever been in the DNC. As to the "bosom of your hospitality..." Sorry, I don't swing that way.]

This DUer called Ty AT WORK to pester him about the substance of the essay. Demanded to read the essay to him on the phone, so he could ask if the quotes were accurate. Demanded and demanded and demanded, as if he had a right to f*ck with this guy at work.

[Actually, inspired by YOUR challenge, I called a couple of Boston establishments asking if a Ty or someone from New Orleans worked there. Two to be exact. Both told me no Ty worked there. End of conversation. Oh, and I checked my cell phone log and the total elapsed time of the call to the bar where Ty did work act was exactly 36 seconds. Hardly time to Demand and demand and demand. An account of those phone calls was posted on this Free Republic THREAD at Reply #72 right after they happened.]

Ever have a random stranger call you at work?

[Yes. And I always enjoy the break from the routine it affords me. Of course, I never actually talked to Ty when I made those first two calls.]

Add to that the rules of this place of work: Personal calls are for emergency use only. So my boy winds up getting talked to by his two bosses because this DUer called and pushed, and pushed, and pushed, to talk to Ty.

[I asked if Ty or someone from New Orleans worked there. When told no, I hung up. Total elapsed phone time according to my cell phone log was 36 seconds. "Pushed, and pushed, and pushed, and pushed?" Perhaps in your fictional alternate reality, Pitt.]

Why?

[Why write such astounding fiction? Continue...]

Because this DUer fancies himself a writer in his own right. But rather than carve out a place for himself the hard way like I did through hard work, dilligence, truth-telling and the development of sources over ten years, this DUer wanted to take a shortcut. He called Ty to try to get him to say I lied in my story.

[Actually Ty called ME back later as I recounted immediately afterward in my Reply #111 in this Free Republic THREAD. He had NOT heard about your piece about him and was curious for me to read it to him. He even waited until I booted up my computer. Since the connection was bad, Ty told me he would call back later on a landline so he could hear the rest of the piece. Oh, and that part about "truth telling" by Pitt gave me a chuckle.]

In other words, this DUer tried to crawl up over my back, tried to get immediately famous by "exposing" me. That way, he could write about it and make a splash.

[You've already been exposed MANY times in your own words here on the DUmmie FUnnies, Pitt. My fave was the bit about a fascistic "Third American Empire" and how rampant fanatical nationalism was born the day the USA won the 1980 Olympic Hockey Game against the Soviet Union.]

Too bad for him, though, that the story was true. Ty had his number from the earlier call, and I called this asshat back, and handed the phone to Ty. Ty said, "Every word Will wrote was truth. He quoted me exactly. I don't need motherf*ckers calling me at work. F*ck off."

[WRONG AGAIN, Baked Bean Breath! You called me back and told me Ty was standing next to you when I asked if he was there. Then you REFUSED to let me read to Ty word for word your own piece. Get your fictional narrative straight, Pitt. Oh, and here is the account at Reply #129 at this FR THREAD immediately after you called me. Five minutes later (according to phone log) I called you back and Ty in that timeframe had somehow miraculously read that piece at the bar which sparked my skeptical antenna. An account of this posted immediately afterwards in my Reply #143 on this FR THREAD.]

Now here's the funny part.

[DUmmie threads are ALWAYS FUnnie.]

I got back on the phone with this poor excuse for a poop, and he tries to grill me on ANSWER, tries to grill me on impeachment, tries to pry a story out of his failed attempt to f*ck with my friend. After I finished yelling at him, he said, "Well, I have a lot of good material now." It was pathetic.

[Not as pathetic as your claim that even though you admitted that PDA worked with A.N.S.W.E.R. to organize the September Rally, you yourself NEVER EVER had any dealings with ANYBODY from A.N.S.W.E.R.. Yes, you were hermetically sealed and remained virgin pure. Oh, and you claimed that you never read the leftist Daily Kos piece declaring the September rally to have been an embarrassing flop. More fiction, Pitt?]

But not as pathetic as when he said, "So, will you do a podcast for me?"

[That was in FIVE MINUTES later (according to cell phone log) when I called you back. Yes, I am planning a DUFU Podcast and to make it interesting I want guests who are either not into politics are have loony leftwing views like you, Pitt. Invitation still open. I'll even allow you to read your fiction on the Podcast.]

I told him to f*ck himself. Loudly, colorfully, offering both directions and a map.

[No directions and map did you give but you did curse colorfully. I'll give you that, Pitt.]

Morals:

1. I don't lie in my essays;

[I BEEEEELEEEEVEEEE!!! I BEEEEELEEEEEVE that Pied Piper Pitt has the astounding ability to accurately quote long detailed conversations WORD FOR WORD days after they take place without the use of a tape recorder. I BEEEEEELEEEEEEVE!!!]

2. If you have questions, I am not hard to find;

[Why go to you for a source? Just from this post you are proving yourself to be a fiction spinner.]

3. Don't f*ck with my friends;

[Maybe you shouldn't PUBLICLY post private "conversations" with friends and then offer a money bounty on its veracity.]

4. Don't try to crawl over my back to make yourself famous. Put the work in;

[DUmmie FUnnies already has the BIGGEST Ping List on the FR. However, I do give you credit for the wealth of comedic material you have provided the DUFUs in the past, Pitt.]

5. Ty wants to eat this guy's liver; he genuienly wants to do violence to this person, so f*cking with Ty is a bad idea;

[Maybe Ty will eat YOUR liver when he actually gets around to reading how you portrayed him plus that public bounty offer you made, Pitt.]

6. Don't beg for a podcast after making an asshole out of yourself.

[I think it was more "ask" than "beg." Strange thing is that Publicity Hound Pitt, after initially rejecting the idea, then started to seem open to it. Offer still stands, Pitt.]

Final moral: We are all in this together, but some think this is all a big paycheck. This guy wanted to do damage to me in order to better his own pathetic state of affairs, and had no hesitation to f*ck with a friend of mine he had never met in order to do so.

[I'm not so sure he will be a friend of yours after he reads what you wrote about him. That plus your public bounty offer.]

In other words, some pigs think they are more equal than others.

[Try actually reading "Animal Farm," Pitt. It's anti-communist theme might even seep thru your thick skull.]

Anyway, this was my night. Fun, eh?

[Fiction, eh?]

Anyone who thinks being well-known (for me, even minorly well-known) is a good thing needs a beating. I can't write a personal essay without the people involved getting messed with.

[Maybe you shouldn't publicly offer bounties to defend your dubious veracity, Pitt. In any event, if your account of your original conversation with Ty is as accurate as the fiction you spun here, no wonder folks are casting doubt on it. However, thanx mucho for that chuckle about me being in the DNC!]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: du; dufu; dummie; dummies; pitt; ty; williampitt
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To: PJ-Comix
A little present for the Pitt fans.

41 posted on 12/30/2005 6:44:26 AM PST by nonkultur
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To: commonguymd
Yep - that his is father. The apple didn't even leave the tree.

Absolutely no offense intended, but do you have any links that prove paternity? Like, maybe a DU post where Will talks about his father the AL party chairman, or something biographical about Pitt pere mentioning his son William? I believe you, but it's always nice to get confirmation :)

42 posted on 12/30/2005 6:44:46 AM PST by Politicalities (http://www.politicalities.com)
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To: nonkultur

That pic plus the "Kissing Game" photo are why I don't ever want to be in the "bosom" of Pitt's hospitality.


43 posted on 12/30/2005 6:47:17 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: Politicalities

They are around. Don't have time to search right now. Maybe someone else can do find them for you.


44 posted on 12/30/2005 6:49:38 AM PST by commonguymd (Momentum)
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To: PJ-Comix

I think the pic did put him in the running for a part in "Brokeback Mountain" though. ;)


45 posted on 12/30/2005 6:50:25 AM PST by nonkultur
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To: Politicalities

If you don't have them by tonight when I return, perhaps I can dig them up. Just freepmail me if you are still looking for them.

Maybe you can do a little blog post of your own.


46 posted on 12/30/2005 6:52:12 AM PST by commonguymd (Momentum)
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To: Politicalities

From Wikipedia it mentions his father.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Rivers_Pitt


William Rivers Pitt (born 1971) is a writer and current editorial director of Progressive Democrats of America, where he writes a blog titled "We the People." Pitt is the former managing editor of the left-wing commentary website truthout.org. He is also a frequent contributor on the Internet forum Democratic Underground under the username "WilliamPitt."

He is the author of the books War on Iraq and The Greatest Sedition is Silence.

Pitt was born in Washington, D.C., and lived several years in Alabama (where his father, Redding Pitt, now chairs the state Democratic Party) before eventually moving to Boston. He was educated in English literature at a small Jesuit college in New England, and after graduation spent two years in San Francisco doing law-related work. Formerly, Pitt taught English literature, journalism, grammar and history at a small private school outside of Boston. Pitt had been writing about politics off and on for several years, but became devoted to the practice during the impeachment trial of former President Bill Clinton. Since President George W. Bush took office on January 20, 2001, Pitt has worked to fight what he describes as "the rising tide of conservative fundamentalism in American government."


47 posted on 12/30/2005 6:56:07 AM PST by commonguymd (Momentum)
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To: PJ-Comix
the liberal left screaming violence and "Put the work in"

pitt is nothing but a two bit liberal hypocrite
48 posted on 12/30/2005 6:56:58 AM PST by socialismisinsidious (Liberals are all about choice UNTIL you choose differently than them.)
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To: commonguymd
OT, but have y'all (smile) heard about this kid Farris Hassan? Well, Will Pitt is full of hot gaseous air. This kid at 16 outshines him and his 'prose' to the nth degree. Here is an essay he wrote about his adventure to Iraq:

“There is a struggle in Iraq between good and evil, between those striving for freedom and liberty and those striving for death and destruction. … Those terrorists are not human but pure evil. For their goals to be thwarted, decent individuals must answer justice’s call for help. Unfortunately altruism is always in short supply. Not enough are willing to set aside the material ambitions of this transient world, put morality first, and risk their lives for the cause of humanity. So I will.

Life is not about money, fame, or power. Life is about combating the forces of evil in the world, promoting justice, helping the misfortunate, and improving the welfare of our fellow man. Progress requires that we commit ourselves to such goals. We are not here on Earth to hedonistically pleasure ourselves, but to serve each other and the creator. What deed is greater than sacrificing one’s luxuries for the benefit of those less blessed?.

If I know what is needed and what is right, but do not act on my moral conscience, I would be a hypocrite. I must do what I say decent individuals should do. I want to live my days so that my nights are not full of regrets. Therefore, I must go.”

49 posted on 12/30/2005 6:57:06 AM PST by Amityschild (< o >)
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To: PJ-Comix

Don't try to crawl over my back to make yourself famous.

Wonder if Ty knows that Pitt is not really a girl?

50 posted on 12/30/2005 7:05:02 AM PST by RedRover
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To: Politicalities; PJ-Comix
I can vouch for Pitt's paternity since I've read threads over at DU for close to 3 years. I've read threads posted by his Mother whose screen name was Raven. I haven't seen any posts by her in some time now and at one time she got into a bit of trouble over there for something (I can't remember now what it was as it seemed pretty inconsequential at the time). I haven't seen her post since then but I don't believe she was banned.

Pitt's the reason my friendly little troll at DU was banned after being on DU for almost 2 years. He has an overinflated sense of himself, thinks he's God's gift to the Universe and has ridden his Dad's coattails all his life. He's borderline alcoholic and like most alkies, he can be charming at times and at other times nothing more than a stupid boob.
51 posted on 12/30/2005 7:06:31 AM PST by Sally'sConcerns (Native Texan, now in SW Ok..)
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To: All

Homework assignment: Please locate the DUmmie thread from September where Pitt lectured his fellow DUmmies about the need for working with A.N.S.W.E.R. to organize demonstrations. Of course, even though PDA worked with A.N.S.W.E.R. on the September 24 rally, Pitt as he told me, never EVER even talked to an A.N.S.W.E.R. member. Somehow he remained hermitically sealed in a giant body condom from A.N.S.W.E.R. during the days of organzing plus the day of the rally itself. I know this to be true because Pitt told me. However, it would be fun to read that thread by Pitt defending A.N.S.W.E.R..


52 posted on 12/30/2005 7:11:11 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix

LMAO. Pitt sure does leap to assumptions and false conclusions. I'll bet all his tripe is just as "perceptive"


53 posted on 12/30/2005 7:11:31 AM PST by Fenris6 (3 Purple Hearts in 4 months w/o missing a day of work? He's either John Rambo or a Fraud)
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To: Sally'sConcerns

"He's borderline alcoholic and like most alkies, he can be charming at times and at other times nothing more than a stupid boob."


Borderline? Heh! :)


54 posted on 12/30/2005 7:12:03 AM PST by nonkultur
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To: nonkultur
Borderline? Heh! :)

Yeah well, it's not really my 'job' to declare him an alcoholic BUT I can point out his alcoholic tendencies. :^)

55 posted on 12/30/2005 7:22:11 AM PST by Sally'sConcerns (Native Texan, now in SW Ok..)
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To: PJ-Comix
#36 Pitt: "I knew this person, though. Had dealt with him before."

Snicker. He thinks its a DUmmie. Bets that his "quotes" are just as credible? LOL. Great auditory recollection there Pitt.

And they finally figured out it was a DUmmie Funny, PJ.

BTW, how lame is that 10k bet? Like his pal is going to say anything to cost him 10k. Hell, Pitt likely promised him a split for saying whatever he was told to say. Its an empty challenge thats typical of people like Pitt.

56 posted on 12/30/2005 7:24:04 AM PST by Fenris6 (3 Purple Hearts in 4 months w/o missing a day of work? He's either John Rambo or a Fraud)
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To: PJ-Comix
I didn't name the bar I go to in the piece, but this DUer knew which one it was. That means, probably, that he came to Boston for the DNC and I took him into the bosom of my hospitality, brought him to my bar, bought him beers, etc.

No, it means, actually, that we can use a little thing called Google, you windbag.

57 posted on 12/30/2005 7:31:34 AM PST by Choose Ye This Day (Win the war. Confirm the judges. Cut the taxes. Control the spending. Secure the border.)
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To: Fenris6
BTW, how lame is that 10k bet? Like his pal is going to say anything to cost him 10k. Hell, Pitt likely promised him a split for saying whatever he was told to say. Its an empty challenge thats typical of people like Pitt.

I agree with Charles when he said some Jacksons probably changed hands.

58 posted on 12/30/2005 7:49:36 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix
With my cell service, we don't get paper bills.
 
Neither do we, but I can get a total list of calls from the website, and print, or screen save if needed.


59 posted on 12/30/2005 7:54:00 AM PST by backinthefold
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To: PJ-Comix
"Every word Will wrote was truth. He quoted me exactly. I don't need motherf*ckers calling me at work. F*ck off."

Is this verbatim? Amazing how now Ty speaks in multisyllabic utterances. In Pitt's original work of fiction, Ty was only capable of grunting like Frankenstein.

60 posted on 12/30/2005 7:55:38 AM PST by Choose Ye This Day (Win the war. Confirm the judges. Cut the taxes. Control the spending. Secure the border.)
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