Halliburton Controls My Brain! (Old Hippie Confronts National Guardsmen)

The Officers Club ^ | December 13, 2006 | Charlie Munn

[PJ-Comix]

Roughly a year ago, the OC's own beloved Charlie Munn was accosted by a moonbat during his National Guard Drill Weekend. He hammered out an after-action report to his friends right afterwards, which for some reason I still have saved. I've posted for your reading pleasure below, enjoy!

Halliburton Controls my Brain!

I was defending freedom at drill this weekend, and after a hooah PT session on Sunday morning, I grabbed a cadet out of the armory and went to the local Hardees for breakfast. Now we all know what a repressive, right-wing nazi opinion stifling gulag an empty hardees is at 0700 on a Sunday, so I sat, and quietly ate my breakfast with the cadet, both in uniform, minding our own business, and certainly not grinding the oppressed people in the world under our collective jackboot. Enter Old-Hippie-Guy. This scraggly looking holdover from the McGovern era approached our table unprovoked, and stated "Gentleman, the September 11th attacks were avenged by the deaths of thousands of children, I hope you sleep well at night." With that, giving us little time, through our amazement, he spun around and lurched out of the doorway, leaving the cadet and I to consider the following options:

1. It is 1971, and somehow we had been hurled back in time under Terminator rules. If this was so, then we were probably confused with the other baby-child-killing soldiers of that time, instead of the baby-child killers of today. Simple mistake. If it was 1971, then our first action would have been to steal as much confederate gold as possible, so as to fund my future presidential campign.

2. Maybe I actually have killed children. Blinded by rage after 9/11, perhaps I did go on a child-killing rage, and the government just programmed me to forget it. Just like they program everyone in the army, through the brain washing they put Mel Gibson through in that movie where he wasn’t Scottish. With Julia Roberts.

3. I’m going to kick your butt, old man. You’ve got the nerve to say something like that to me? I’m just sitting here eating my 300-fat gram uber-sausage biscuit, and you think that your warped ideology is something that I (a) care about, or (b) seek to have a legitimate argument about in the world class debate forum of Hardees.Here’s how I think the debate would go:

Old Hippie Guy: you kill babies

Me: Actually, I am serving the armed forces out of a deep sense of duty and pride for my country, and if we must go to war, I will. However, your contention that the US Army kills children should be contrasted with the KNOWN FACT that Saddam Hussein used Chemical Weapons on ACTUAL children. Kurdish ones, by the thousands. But you were against us stopping that, weren’t you, Old Hippie Guy?

Old Hippie Guy: man, you like... you kill babies... no blood for oil....corporations

4. I am a mindless robot, and probably would kill children if Haliburton told me to. Because I’m obviously not as enlightened as Old Hippie Guy, my small robot brain just cannot compute how we are all supposed to live in peace and get along while religious and cultural ideologies violently clash. Additionally, I don’t see how excessive pot use and listening to stupid jam bands contributes to world peace at all. I hate Phish cause Enron said so!

5. I am personally controlled by Karl Rove, and must phone the White House every morning for permission to dress myself. Karl Rove eats babies after I kill them.

So, that about wraps it up. The moral of the story is that you can’t argue or reason with shrieking liberal hippies. They can’t get over the mind set that we do not live in the world of the 60's anymore. People are not throwing things at soldiers when they return from Iraq, they are welcoming them. This is why Old Hippie guy’s opinions had to be quickly stated in an empty Hardees. No one agrees with him anymore, and he can’t stand it. Now the chip in my brain is telling me its time to go kill ba- eat lunch. Later.


**John (again)** Heckling soldiers at a Hardees. New low for the leftzoids. At least Old Hippy Dude didn't stop and mutter "oh by the way I support you, just not the war" as he was leaving.

I would also point out that Charlie and his cadet friend could have avoided this unfortunate close-encounter by using the Barking Moonbat Early Warning System.

[PJ-Comix]

I found this account especially funny since I just saw the South Park "Die Hippie, Die!" episode last night.

[cripplecreek]

Now we all know what a repressive, right-wing nazi opinion stifling gulag an empty hardees is at 0700 on a Sunday

Maybe I'm not awake yet but that's funny, I don't care who ya are. LOL

[PJ-Comix]

What's great about the Officer's Blog is that it is written by active duty National Guardsmen. It's not just military PR. It's the REAL DEAL opinions from serving National Guard members. Just bookmarked this Blog for regular reading.

[gate2wire]

"So, that about wraps it up. The moral of the story is that you can’t argue or reason with shrieking liberal hippies."

Exactly right.

[Old Sarge]

The moral of the story is that you can’t argue or reason with shrieking liberal hippies.

The Money Quote.

[theDentist]

(sigh) I was hoping that he would have followed old Hippie outdoors, with cadet in tow, wish him "Merry Christmas", and as old Hippie drove away in a solar-powered Volvo, whip out an RPG and say "Cadet, this is what happens when you press these triggers."

[Jersey Republican Biker Chick]

GREAT READ, PING!!!!

[PaulaB]

I’m going to kick your butt, old man

LOL

[r-q-tek86]

I should have read this yesterday... before I got into a yelling match with the three "I wish it was still 1968, man" people at the board luchoen.

My favorite illogical argument that Jack threw at me was "By your logic, you should hit Tommy (the president elect sitting quietly next to me) because there is a chance he might hit you sometime in the future".

I wish I had the power to just sit there and ignore these idiots... but I just can't let them pontificate about the "facts" of politics today.

[xp38]

We can eliminate # 1 since under Terminator rules they would have been sitting naked in the Hardees.

[Jersey Republican Biker Chick]

I wish I was there to see that. I'll bet you were great!!

[r-q-tek86]

I countered his "hit Tommy" argument with "that's a false comparison. The proper comparison would be from me to call the cops if I knew that the guy that moved in next door to me was a wife/child abuser and had threatened me with violence for 10 years".

I countered his "WMDs don't exist" with "by that logic, OBL doesn't exist, either... after all, we never found him."

Two of the three are real live Kool-Aid drinkin' moonbats. Luckily, all three of them will be off the board next year.

[Jersey Republican Biker Chick]

Priceless, too bad it was not video taped. I would love to see the look on their liberal faces when you hit them with those.

[Not A Snowbird]

5. I am personally controlled by Karl Rove, and must phone the White House every morning for permission to dress myself.

I must remember that line. I'll be in close proximity to my liberal in-laws during Christmas and may need a snappy retort.

[Darksheare]

LOL!

Wish Old Hippie Dude had bothered my old unit when I was in.. then again, I'm not so keen on finding out what hickory fried Hippie tastes like.