Ongoing journal of Montana family hosting 2 survivors of Hurricane Katrina. (No good deed ever...)

The ongoing journal of a Montana family hosting two survivors of Hurricane Katrina.

A week after Hurricane Katrina struck, the Stovern family, who live on the Fort Peck Indian Reservation in Montana, opened their home to two evacuees from New Orleans. Michelle Stovern wrote a journal for Beliefnet as her family tried to help the survivors recover--and restart their lives.

Well, sorry it has taken me so long to write another article, but I have been sick and out of commission. The doctor said I had pneumonia and exhaustion. But I am back, and trying to recover.

As of Friday, September 16th, 2005 the family that was staying with me returned to the New Orleans area. They are now staying somewhere in Louisiana with another family. I have not talked to them since they left here. I figured they would have contacted me by now, as I still have their dog staying with me.

I wish I could say that I was sad and upset that they left, but I am not. Last week was a long week. The family was starting to become dishonest and disrespectful. My children and I were called nasty names, we were told that we were pigs and that the only reason we were even doing this is because we were getting paid by FEMA. By no means is that true--we have not and will not receive any kind of funding from FEMA. This affected not only me, but my children as well. I feel that I was taken advantage of. My family and I opened our homes, free of charge, fed these two people, gave them clothing, and had the community we live in donate stuff to them. They took this generosity and ran with it. Not once did I hear thank you, or a simple line of gratitude. This really bothers me.

Several people have told me I shouldn't be upset now that they've left. But I feel as if I failed, not only myself, but other people as well. I stated that I felt like this was a test from God, and if it was, I failed him as well. How could I not handle this situation? I am a mother of three and have a father who is dying of renal kidney failure, so stress is part of my daily life. But I just could not handle all that was dealt to me.

I had several people in my community calling my home and my work offering the evacuees employment, but they wouldn't talk to them. I don't know for a fact if they planned on staying here or not, so that could be the reason they weren't looking for employment in the area. My boss asked them if they were going to make Montana their home, and at that time they said they were not sure. But for the life of me I do not understand why when someone is given the chance to start over, to attempt to have a good life, and people who are willing to help you, why that person would not jump on the chance? How could you honestly be happy not working, living off the welfare system? What kind of life is that and why would you want to live that way?

A few people have commented that it is "un-Christian" for me to write this journal about the people staying with me. The ladies that were staying with me knew that I was writing this and have read it, and we did discuss some of the issues at hand. Second of all, the family that was staying with us WERE NOT African-American, as some of the people who made comments assumed. They were white. However, no matter what their race, that was never an issue. I do not believe in judging someone by the color of their skin.

Just as I don't judge people, I have been surprised that so many readers have judged me, without really knowing what my family and the two ladies staying with me went through. How can that be a Christian thing to do?

People have asked what I expected when this all came about. To be honest, I didn't know what to expect. However, I did NOT expect to be lied to, stolen from, called foul names, or to have them be intoxicated and fighting with each other in front of my three children. Nor did I expect the ladies to be my housekeepers, my cooks, or my babysitters. They did help around the house, but only if they were asked to do so. They did cook supper. We (my family) did cook southern foods, and yes, they were told everything about my family before they came here. They knew we worked 40+ hours a week, had three kids, three dogs, and two cats. They did know they were coming to Northeast Montana, and knew that it would be a completely different lifestyle.

Someone stated that I should have had a preacher or a counselor speak with the ladies, and I tried that. A preacher went to my house to speak with them, and was completely ignored and was told that they didn't need to speak with him, that there was nothing to speak about. The counselor, who is a friend of mine, that contacted them, invited them to lunch, but at the end was asked to not contact them again.

In some ways, yes, I failed, but in other ways I achieved more then I set out to do. Do I require thanks for everything that I do in life? By all means, no. If that were the case I wouldn't be were I was at in life today. I have been taught to be patient, and doing so brought me my husband and my children. (Someone stated that my family looked new. Yes, we were married three years ago, have been together for 5, have been BEST FRIENDS for 15 years.) I do understand the stress that these ladies went through, I can't imagine it. If you recall in my first post, I stated that I am not sure I could something like that happening to me, and now I know I couldn't.

I have so much more to write, good and bad, that I could sit here all day and write everything, but this is my final entry. I would like to say thank you to the people who have offered me advice and support through these few weeks.

Well, the family I'm hosting received their grant from FEMA Monday, and I have never been so disgusted in my life. They expect a family of two to start over on $665.00. This money is supposed to help with the first and last months' rent, utility deposits, and anything else they may need to start over. How can they think that is going to cover the rent in most places? I know here in Montana it doesn't come close to covering first and last months' rent. What is wrong with our systems?

Yesterday (Tuesday) was Maggie's (the older of the pair I'm hosting) birthday. She turned 53. I searched for the perfect present but came up empty-handed. Trying to find a present for someone you have known for only one week is truly a task in itself. So I settled on a card and a nice cake. I hope she likes them.

It's getting very cold in Montana already--about 45 degrees and colder at night--and I know the family is already freezing. I hope it doesn't snow anytime soon. I think they are feeling homesick and want to go home. But they have no place to go, no home, no other family, nothing. I have tried to find them a place to live near New Orleans, but so far there isn't any place available for them.

It feels like the walls around me are squeezing together. Sometimes it feels like I just can't get away from anyone. When I go to work every morning, I feel so relieved to be able to just get away and not have to worry about everyone else. I had another lady call me last night, someone who works with Victoria, who I wrote about in a previous entry. It was good to be able to talk to someone who just sits and listens and doesn't tell me what to do or how to do it. She was very helpful by just listening and I hope she realizes that. She offered my family a vacation when this is all done--won't that be nice?

People have asked me what the family does while I am work. Basically, they sit and watch TV or go downtown. They are not seeking employment at this time, which is very frustrating to me. I can't understand why they seem to have no desire to work. My mother and father always taught me to work hard--I was never just handed anything, I had to earn it or work for it. So to see these two people who are able to work not working is really hard for me to understand. Maggie, the mother, says she has carpal tunnel in her hands, but she does not receive SSI (Supplemental Security Income benefits), and she has told me that she has worked before. Jobs are available here, as cashiers, waitresses, or office workers.

The family also has not sought counseling. They keep everything bottled up inside. I have offered to take them to counseling, or to look for a job, and they don't want to do that. So, I just let them do as they please.

This weekend is going to be hard. My family and I have a meeting that we have been planning on attending for the last year. My husband is being inducted into an association he has been involved with. The family does not want to go, so they are just going to stay home. Is it impolite of me to leave them alone? I don't know. I do know that I cannot stop living my life and doing the things I enjoy just to make someone else happy....

How could you honestly be happy not working, living off the welfare system? What kind of life is that and why would you want to live that way?

I can't help but feel for these good people as I can't understand the welfare mentality either. It's got to be more work to avoid working than working-- but some people don't see it that way. In 1995, my family was in the Great Hanshin Earthquake in Japan. The kindness from the rest of the country and the world was overwhelming. Even the bums who hung around downtown could go to public buildings for temporary housing and food. However, they were soon back to their old haunts, despite the opportunity offered to them.

TRUE COMPASSION would have kicked these two ne'er-do-wells to the curb and told them to start working, and after at least one of them got a job, THEN they would receive non-financial assistance, delivered by the local community.

"Free money" that grows on trees in Washington is not the answer.

Why am I not surprised?

This woman and her family have done more than was called for.

America now has a whole generation of ingrates.

I find it hard to believe that this woman really didn't know what she was getting into. Hasn't she ever been to Frazer?

Well, George Bush took everything these people had. What did you expect? j/k.

It's too bad. Houston is having a problem with these refugees too.

Ummm . . . I grew up in North Dakota and understand the mentality of the working poor pretty well, I think. Many of these people come from pioneer stock and are as used to scratching for a living from dawn until dusk as the inner city urban welfare class is to sitting around and waiting for their next check.

The working poor in Montana and the Dakotas can no more imagine waiting for a government welfare check than the urban welfare class can imagine working from dawn 'til dusk for a lifestyle which, financially at least, is less rewarding than theirs. Ever hear of Gordon Kahl or read the book Bitter Harvest? Both do a fairly good job of explaining the mindset of the Upper Great Plains descendents of pioneer class.

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