Posted on 09/23/2005 2:19:17 PM PDT by hang 'em
GOVERNMENTIUM
A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Governmentium." Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected because it impedes every action with which it comes into contact. A second's worth of exposure to Governmentium will cause any action to take four hundred times longer to complete, and cost five times as much.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass."
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (aka Bureaucratium) - an element which radiates as much energy as the Governmentium, but has half as many peons and twice as many morons.
I think my wallet came into contact with some Governmentium.
It is to Laughium.
ROTFLMAO!
The last noun sounds more like an action many of us FReepers would like to perform on certain Liberals , RINO's & RATS.
To succeed in its survival though , Governmentium needs help from Mediatium which actively assists in helping governmentium cover up the facts. Mediatium is very powerful and its ability to conceal or reveal information means that without its help Governmentium would not survive in its present shape or form. In exchange for its help governmentium also helps Mediatium by allowing it to grow and gain even more control of information. You could say that both of them are in symbiosys.
Bump for later.
Governmentium always goes up in price, while paradoxically being less and less valuable.
An oldie, but worth repeating.
LOL!
The densest element known to man is Bozonium. It is the element is stupid peoples brain that makes them that way.
Yes, and Governmentium, with any encouagement, doubles its mass every half-second!
Lyndonium, the radioactive isotope of Governmentium, is known to destroy black nuclear families.
Administratium bump - straight into the Adminisphere.
ping
Govermentium.... that rings a bell!
LOL
And when dark forces allows Governmentium to disintigrate into Liberalum, this attracts mainstreammediaum and with the covalent bond between the two you end up with FUBARum!
I am offended by this because I live in Washington, DC and I am a bureaucratic functionary with a job that serves no purpose other than to validate my slothful existence.
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