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DUmmie FUnnies 09-07-05 ("I KNOW That There Is No God! Here's Why")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | September 7, 2005 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 09/07/2005 3:37:18 PM PDT by PJ-Comix

I bet some of you have occasionally tried to describe the level of insanity of the DUmmies to your skeptical friends. Perhaps they can't believe that anybody could be as nutty as you describe. If so, then perhaps you should refer them to this DUmmie THREAD titled, "I KNOW That There Is No God! Here's Why." As you will see, the level of DUmmie HATRED of George Bush has gone even beyond psychopathic levels. In fact the author of this particular thread, DUmmie DistressedAmerican, needs to not only consult with a shrink, but needs to be paid a little visit from the Secret Service. As usual, the psychopathic DUmmie rantings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, mopping rabid DUmmie foam off the floor, is in the [brackets]:

I KNOW That There Is No God! Here's Why.

[WARNING! PATHETIC PSYCHOPATHIC RANT TO FOLLOW!]

Bush still breathes.
Bush still stands.
Bush still walks.
Bush still has power.
Bush is still rich.
Bush's parents also still doing all of the above.
IN SHORT:
Bush has not been SMOTE!
Any God worth his salt would have killed the bastard and his entire evil family years ago. I think a bolt of lightening would do the job quite nicely.
OK, Maybe I am wrong. Maybe He does exist but fears we will invade heaven of he rids us of this evil, sociopath! If this is indeed the case:
God, Now is your time. They still haven't the resources to come after you. Strike him down! Show me some of that old shool (testament) WRATH!

[If you think the rage of DUmmie DistressedAmerican is beyond belief now, imagine how it will be when he finds himself screaming this stuff at the prison walls. He is flat out calling for the murder of the President. A federal crime.]

Well, He works in mysterious ways, you know.... Maybe the smiting is just around the corner.

[DUmmie Ron_Green in a hopeful mood.]

I believe the disaster was proof enough Either God is a useless observer like all of us, incompetent and without any power to stop horrible things from happening, or he/she is an asshole that allows or causes these horrible things to happen for his/her own reason and we are meant to suffer for them ignorant of why.I really don't know how else to think of it. I'm sure many will be upset with these thoughts but really truly, without saying any "He works in mysterious ways" nonsense how can you say that there is some deity in charge worthy of love and worship? God is love? Well god let people die all over the South. No prayers were answered by the people who begged for mercy and continue to beg.

[A DUmmie "theologian" weighs in.]

Here's how I knew - Crimson Tide. I knew there was no 'God' (as taught to me by our culture, anyway) when I realized that a merciful, intelligent-designing, loving, all-powerful, supremely perfect deity would not have designed women to bleed for 7 days a month in order to be fertile. WTF is THAT about?!Doesn't sound like intelligent design to me.I can't wait until it is scientifically eradicated. I suspect this has been possible for decades, but, for some reason, our little birth control packets still mercifully allow 7 blank days so our Aunt from Alabama can come to visit.If this god was so intelligent, we would just have an egg sit there until it got fertilized, not be shed every month. Nevermind the whole concept. Until I realized how you got pregnant, I thought women just *decided* when they would have a baby, and that was all that was necessary. Understandably, I have been a little miffed at 'nature' since.

[I have to give this DUmmie atheist credit for creativity. First time I ever heard of someone becoming an atheist because of menstruation.]

If God wants all the credit and adoration. Then he can bloody well pitch in like the rest of us. When the least of us -- the poor, the elderly, the babies -- have to pay with their lives for the failure of government or someone else's sins, that's just mindlessly cruel. If there are consequences then perhaps its time for those in charge to start paying them.

[So who do you blame for Hurricane Katrina. God or Bush? Probably both.]

Bush is the entire reason that I don't believe in Karma

[Because you always end up as the DUmmie Coyote as the Bush RoadRunner leaves you in his dust. BEEP! BEEP!]

Tell God I Have Been Workig My Ass Off To Rid Us Of This Guy. Time for Him to help me. I'm helping myself.Where is my backup?

[Windsurfing off Nantucket.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: antichristian; atheism; atheists; bushhaters; callawaaambulance; dummies; god; neworleansblame; religion; religiousintolerance; waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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To: MoochPooch
Theology aside, my question is: What does Bush have to do with my period?

I almost sprayed my cranberry spritzer on the screen with that one.

61 posted on 09/07/2005 5:02:54 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Lutheran pastor and Ph.D. student in Biblical Studies)
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To: PJ-Comix
Hey again, PJ!

What an amazing DUmmie thread. In a few short paragraphs they managed to offend all people of faith (even me, and that takes some serious effort.)

One last time, DUmmies: Positive actions have positive consequences; negative actions have negative consequences.
All this negative energy you throw towards the President affects you much more, because it's inside of you. And the negative energy you spill out surrounds you, infecting your lives. And you wonder in your own posts why you're all physically, mentally and/or spiritually afflicted? You're all drowning in a quicksand of your own negative energies.
No wonder you're mostly atheist. Every positive religion teaches that you will have to answer for your deeds- "what we have done, and what we have not done; what we have said, and what we have not said." In one coin or another, in this life or the next.
So go right ahead denying. Neither God, nor His Nibs the Big Boss Bad Guy require your belief in them.
62 posted on 09/07/2005 5:04:15 PM PDT by Ostlandr (NeopaganNeocon)
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To: PJ-Comix

63 posted on 09/07/2005 5:06:28 PM PDT by wysiwyg (What parts of "right of the people" and "shall not be infringed" do you not understand?)
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To: Ditter
I wish I lived near you so I could attend a church with a conservative pastor.

Where in Texas do you live? I might be able to recommend a good conservative/confessional Lutheran pastor to you. (I know a bunch.)

That, or else get me a call down near where you live. :-)

64 posted on 09/07/2005 5:09:24 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (LCMS pastor and Ph.D. student in Biblical Studies, St. Louis Missouri)
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To: PJ-Comix
I realized that a merciful, intelligent-designing, loving, all-powerful, supremely perfect deity would not have designed women to bleed for 7 days a month in order to be fertile.

Hon for most women it is three to five. If you are bleeding seven it might be time for a little chat with your OB-GYN.

65 posted on 09/07/2005 5:10:09 PM PDT by Harmless Teddy Bear (Vote for the Constipation Party! They never pass anything)
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To: PJ-Comix
God is love? Well god let people die all over the South.

Clue to DUmmie: People have been dying all over the earth for several thousand years now. Maybe people dying isn't where you're going to find the answer to your quest.

Or maybe it is. I refer to one person's dying in particular. A man from Nazareth.

66 posted on 09/07/2005 5:13:52 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (LCMS pastor and Ph.D. student in Biblical Studies, St. Louis Missouri)
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To: Harmless Teddy Bear

Or it might be time for her to get some exercise. Sitting around on your butt doing nothing but whining tends to bring on long periods of crimson tides.


67 posted on 09/07/2005 5:15:33 PM PDT by piasa (Attitude Adjustments Offered Here Free of Charge)
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To: PJ-Comix

"First time I ever heard of someone becoming an atheist because of menstruation."

"I just can't trust something that bleeds for seven days without dying."


68 posted on 09/07/2005 5:17:07 PM PDT by BeHoldAPaleHorse
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To: Charles Henrickson

I almost sprayed my cranberry spritzer on the screen with that one.

That's why I always finish my drinks before reading DUFU threads.


69 posted on 09/07/2005 5:18:00 PM PDT by darkangel82
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To: Xenalyte; darkangel82; Purrcival; MoochPooch; BeHoldAPaleHorse; Harmless Teddy Bear; piasa
a merciful, intelligent-designing, loving, all-powerful, supremely perfect deity would not have designed women to bleed for 7 days a month

A merciful God would not make men have to live with women who grouse about their period.

BTW, I'm reminded of my favorite magazine name--it was published by the Moody Bible Institute, but I think it would have been a good name for a women's magazine: "Moody Monthly"

70 posted on 09/07/2005 5:24:56 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (LCMS pastor and Ph.D. student in Biblical Studies, St. Louis Missouri)
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To: PJ-Comix
Maybe He does exist but fears we will invade heaven of he rids us of this evil, sociopath!

Yep...God is sitting on his throne quaking in His winged sneakers because DUmmies are going to rise up from the depths of their parents' basement and invade Heaven.

Cindie

71 posted on 09/07/2005 5:24:56 PM PDT by gardencatz ("ALL ANIMALS ARE EQUAL, BUT SOME ARE MORE EQUAL THAN OTHERS" (Orwell))
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To: PJ-Comix
Bush is the entire reason that I don't believe in Karma

Biblical doctrine is the entire reason that I don't believe in Karma.

72 posted on 09/07/2005 5:29:31 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (LCMS pastor and Ph.D. student in Biblical Studies, St. Louis Missouri)
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I believe the disaster was proof enough Either God is a useless observer like all of us, incompetent and without any power to stop horrible things from happening,...

Well, this is typical of the far-left mindset- "we have no power, don't even try."

We shouldn't assume we are without any hope to stop horrible things from happening. After all, we know that folks DID have the means to stop horrible things from happening but chose not to wisely use that power. Maybe they thought they would wait for someone else to deal with it. New Orleans has had decades of time to prepare for a big storm even without the federal government coming to the rescue. Instead, they decided it wasn't worth the expense. The people of New Orleans did have the option of getting out of the way of a category 5 storm - even the poorest of them could have found enough bus fare to get themselves inland, or even enough foot-power. They didn't to wait until some bureaucrat told them the obvious- that they live below sea level and a storm crossing into a super-hot Gulf was going to be a big booger from which they should flee. Some just chose to weather it instead, believing that they were "ten feet tall and bullet proof" and bad things happen only to other people, or just gambling that the thing would miss. Some decided they preferred to stay and guard what they had from their not-so-neighborly neighbors would most certainly do if the stuff was left unguarded, erronously thinking mere possessions were priceless. Some believed foolishly that government would protect them from anything. Some saved water and food, many more didn't even make that paltry effort. It was their choice, not God's, to live in a low-lying city, to opt not to evacuate, to choose not to prepared, and for some, to choose to prey upon their neighbors and rescuers. Others weren't being so unwise, and just accepted the risks, since all paces have their own risks. The latter group of people aren't the ones doing all the whining, though.

or he/she is an asshole that allows or causes these horrible things to happen for his/her own reason and we are meant to suffer for them ignorant of why.

Another liberal reaction- "It's someone else's fault we stupidly sit by and do nothing. God's fault. bush's fault. Rove's fault. Insert any name here but mine's fault."

These things happen for a purpose- hurricanes are important weather events and not neccessarily negative ones given what they do for the planet. They weren't created to make people suffer, and we aren't meant to helplessly suffer them. Human beings have been given the biggest, most complex brains on the planet to deal with all of life's events- on purpose. We've also been given consciences to aid us in dealing with each other while we deal with tumultuous events. And let's not forget we've been given each other for times when all our own lone efforts fall short. People just choose not to wisely use what they have been given, and our errors, our inaction and our infighting get us- deservedly- into trouble, into self-destruction, into denial, into guilt, into debt, into grief, and into the grave. And for all of that error of action and inaction on our part, we've been given a counselor and Savior. It's a life rope if we hang on and don't blindly throw it all away because we don't get things our way.

73 posted on 09/07/2005 5:41:32 PM PDT by piasa (Attitude Adjustments Offered Here Free of Charge)
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To: PJ-Comix
If it were up to me, libraries all around the country would...

I just started school again a couple of weeks ago, and it seems the library has some kind of signal blocker. My phone gets all the signal bars everywhere else on campus, but in the library it gets none or one. Of course that doesn't stop jerks from getting calls and yelling, "WHAT!?! WHAT!?! I CAN'T HEAR YOU! I'M NOT GETTING A SIGNAL! LET ME STEP OUTSIDE!"
74 posted on 09/07/2005 5:52:10 PM PDT by Welsh Rabbit
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To: PJ-Comix

Boy, look at all the brave God-believing DUmmies standing up for themselves. Oh wait, there are just like 3 of them. What chickenshiats! Too afraid to stand up to their athiest overlords.


75 posted on 09/07/2005 5:54:00 PM PDT by Democratshavenobrains
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To: Charles Henrickson
"Moody Monthly"

ROFLMFAO!!!!!! That is FUNNY!!!!
76 posted on 09/07/2005 5:54:17 PM PDT by ReeWalker ( I never have guilt EVER!!!)
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To: ReeWalker

Not to mention, it was in the periodical section.


77 posted on 09/07/2005 5:55:46 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (LCMS pastor and Ph.D. student in Biblical Studies, St. Louis Missouri)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Not to mention, it was in the periodical section.

You have really made my day....I needed a good laugh...
78 posted on 09/07/2005 5:56:54 PM PDT by ReeWalker ( I never have guilt EVER!!!)
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To: PJ-Comix
Either God is a useless observer like all of us, incompetent and without any power to stop horrible things from happening, or he/she is an asshole that allows or causes these horrible things to happen

No Ronnie, you've got it totally backwards -- God put everything in motion, creating the wonders of the universe: the stars, the Earth and everything on it, and even Uranus...

79 posted on 09/07/2005 6:03:44 PM PDT by mikrofon (DU-logian?)
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To: Xenalyte

"Getting your period doesn't rule, but it never made me lose my religion or anything."

actually, I miss it a little. OK NOT but it's one of those rhythmic things. I would think liberal feminist types would love it.


80 posted on 09/07/2005 6:10:24 PM PDT by Mercat (God loves us where He finds us.)
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