Greenpeace tells consumers where to sneeze

Canada Free Press ^ | Thursday, July 7, 2005 | Judi McLeod

[Alexander Rubin]

Oh no! The Greenpeace Forest Crimes Division is coming to take me away! Apparently, using a kleenex now consitutes "crimes against the forest". Damn, I really thought I could flout "international law" once more.

[theDentist]

How about we consumers tell Greenpeace where to get off!

[Alexander Rubin]

I wish. Can't they all migrate back to their natural habitat in the rainforest, and leave normal people alone?

[Vaquero]

Maybe we should do like the Greenperps...and blow it out our collective *sses??

[Noumenon]

Greenpeace Alert!

Range - 1000 yards.

We have a firing solution.

Three fish spread.

[theDentist]

It's things like this that make me think back to the Tom Clancy book about eco-terrorists who attempt to launch a biological attack against all menkind in the name of mother earth. At the end they are cornered in a jungle, their clothes and possessions are stripped from them, and they are sent to survive in the jungle with the wild beasts they adore (and are never heard from again).

[Rodney King]

Since when are Caribou endangered?

[beethovenfan]

Guess I gotta practice my Farmer John technique.

[battlegearboat]

Let's eavesdrop in on a conversation between two PETA's as they unload another truck filled with dog and cat corpses into the Piggly Wiggly dumpsters: ...

"I't just makes me sick that Kleenex is killing off all the caribou, Ronin, let's go burn down a 'PetSmart"!

[aspiring.hillbilly]

Find the nearest greenpeace zombie and blow a big nasty slimy green snot in their sleeve....

[Millee]

Greenpeace should never allow any of their "guidelines" to appear in any newspaper that is not on recycled paper. That way we don't have to read their idiocy & they aren't contributing to the destruction of the planet. It's a win-win as far as I can tell.

[hoosierboy]

Try this

[hoosierboy]

[Blood of Tyrants]

Allow the growing of industrial hemp as a subsitute for wood fiber and and we'll stop cutting so manay trees for paper products.

[Smartaleck]

What next, toilet paper?

[battlegearboat]

Do you have to stay within the lines?

[Andonius_99]

so they're against us using tissues...wonder how they wipe their...oh, I forgot, they're crunchies, they don't wipe.

[conserv13]

Actually it is good that Greenpeace is pointing this out (IF it is true)

Why clearcut or make tissues out of thousand year old trees?

[Alexander Rubin]

That's awesome.

[redhead]

"Actually it is good that Greenpeace is pointing this out (IF it is true) Why clearcut or make tissues out of thousand year old trees?"

Because, most likely, those trees are not a thousand year old. Several hundred, in some cases, perhaps. The thing is that old-growth trees contribute nothing to the ecology of the area. They are even more likely a net detriment. They don't transpire at an active rate, and their growth is slow. Young, actively-growing trees, on the other hand, are transpiring at a high rate; removing carbon dioxide from the air and returning oxygen. They will be tomorrow's old-growth forest, if they are given the opportunity to do what they do best: Grow, which doesn't occur when they are shaded and crowded by older, larger, less actively growing trees.