Kerry Drops Bomb
Posted on 06/22/2005 8:33:00 AM PDT by Kenny Bunk
Contact: Uniting A Better America Re-election Foundation
Bold, decisive steps were taken today by War Hero and Senator from Massachusetts, John Forbes Kerry. He and his untold millions of admirers have decided to use the plain unvarnished truth to stifle the yammering hordes of the VRWC. I.E., the Truth about the Senator's outstanding service to his country in the Navy, during the VietNam Era.
The War Hero and Senator signed the DoD Form 180, releasing as many of his records as necessary to settle this issue once and for all. In fact, Senator Kerry released ALL of his relevant records that would not jeopardize the safety and security of every American man and woman, and most of all, the safety and security of every child, regardless of race, creed, color, or parental marital status.
Many of the cheap-shot artists of the VRWC would like to have seen him release the full story of his heroic Christmas Eve Mission to Cambodia. However, the Senator is at pains to point out, that this was just not possible. War Hero and Senator Kerry maintains an extensive network of sleeper agents deep inside Cambodia who must never, ever be compromised. All the public needs to know is that Lt. Kerry and his band of brothers waited until enemy hordes were deeply absorbed in traditional yuletide revelry when they struck without mercy, dealing a blow wthat rendered vast psyop-type-damage to the Vietcong, The NVA, The Khmer Rouge, marauding bands of renegade Chiricahua Apaches (their ominous presence in these dangerous Cambodian jungles a little known historical fact), NAZI thugs, Chinese Warlords, and some other very dangerous sorts of people.
The Nixon Library has refused to release the hand-written note President-Elect Nixon personally handed to the intrepid Lt Kerry, authorizing the dangerous operation. Senator Kerry, who is often mistaken for the other JFK from Massachusetts, heroically triumphed in a suicidal one-way mission Tricky Dick, although not yet in office, obviously intended as a ploy to remove a potential rival. Just reading and re-reading the War Hero and Senator's spare, unadorned prose in his after-action reports will have to suffice, this being a question of patriotism and national security in perilous times. (Even as a young officer, War Hero and now Senator Kerry always tried to save the taxpayers’ money by writing his own reports after missions, each more harrowing than the last.)
Neither in good conscience, could War Hero and Senator Kerry, release the details of his undercover missions to Paris, France, which he undertook as a Naval Reserve Officer. Senator Kerry, having racked up a solid C+ in his French studies at Yale, is extremely sensitive to issues involving la Belle France (The Beautiful France), as that country is an important NATO Ally and a key source of imported supplies like Camembert, which the War Hero and Senator often air-drops to those sleeper agents in Cambodia, at his own and Teresa's expense.
As is well known, Senator Kerry was discharged from Naval Service during this period and received special secret kudos from President Jimmy Carter at some later date. (Not to mention some serious medals and decorations, obviously granted when those after-action reports were finally savored by higher-ups at the Pentagon). Modestly, the War Hero and Senator shyly prefers not to dredge up events from this period.
He says,
"It is enough that they are seared, seared I tell you, into my memory."
The War Hero and Senator has put out a hue and cry among his hundreds of millions of friends, here and abroad, for a typewriter. The War Hero and Senator says, ”That's right. folks, we have computers here at the office, but darn it, to fill out those pesky government forms, like that DoD 180, nothing beats a good old Underwood."
The block printing the Senator used to personally fill in the DoD 180 does go a long way toward proving his good intentions. War Hero and Senator Kerry said filling in this important document by hand reminded him of a Christmas Card he got from a young second-grader while he was in Cambodia on that hard Christmas Eve, long ago.
As has been well documented in the NYT, Senator Kerry actually won the popular vote in many districts ... or would have ... had not right-wing racist homophobe sexist fanatics not used dirty tricks to unfairly suppress and divide minority group members and women, effectively limiting many of them to just one vote each. In order to right this horrible wrong and to re-unite a better America under Senator Kerry’s inspiring leadership, please make a contribution of either money or time to the good work done by our not-for-profit-foundation. For example, we presently need volunteers who can type. Or, make out your check to UBARF. We are a non-partisan operation, so it may be tax-deductible. You will receive a membership card entitling you to discounts on any Heinz Food Product.
Uniting A Better America Re-election Foundation
info@ubarf.org
UBARF!!??
LMAO
Kerry Drops Bomb
Funny stuff. I'm seared.
ROFLOL!! Funny Stuff. Heck,if he gets any "blowback" from the Truth Bomb, he can apply for a medal.
HILARIOUS....
Some other very dangerous sorts of people, courtesy of Hedley Lamar:
"I want you to round up every vicious criminal and gunslinger in the West. Take this down: I want rustlers, cut-throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperadoes, mugs, pugs, thugs, nit-wits, half-wits, dim-wits, vipers, snipers, con-men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bush-whackers, horn-swagglers, horse-thieves, bull-dykes, train-robbers, bank-robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers, and Methodists!"
Hilarious. I'll never think about JFK the same way again.
Truth bomb, truth bomb,
It's a comin' on strong
I can't take it any longer
Come a rockin' through the door...
There was an article in the WSJ that stated that the real reason that Kerry was so reticent to release his military transcripts was that they contained his college transcripts, which showed that he was not exactly the nuanced thinker that his handlers claimed. Evidently Kerry achieved a lower "C" average than Bush and his nuanced responses that were supposedly over the head of average thinkers, during the debate were not nuanced at all, they were simply examples of irrational, circular logic that resulted in disjointed ramblings.
Are you chewing gum? I hope you brought enough for everybody. Man is he strict.
Heddy: What are you guilty of?_____________________________Thug: Rape, murder and rape.__Heddy: you said rape twice._________________________Thug: I like rape.__________Heddy:Kinky
The only problem is Massachusetts, where the people seem to long for an hereditary king, like Ted Kennedy. They are very apt to return Kerry to the Senate in 2008. Those fools would vote for a gay yellow dog if it were pictured in flagrante on their ballots in the Democrat Column.
In fact, haven't they done so already?
Precisely the dangerous sorts faced down by JFK in the jungles of Cambodia. However, as any politically correct PR man can tell you, nowadays we cannot appear to be homophobic, or anti-religious. As far as train-and-bank-robbers go, it would be unwise to allude to the difficulty of rehabilitation. Likewise, Sh**-kickers could be construed as environmentally unsound.
As my hero JFK found out in Cambodia, it's a jungle out there.
ROFLMAO! I haven't laughed this hard in ages. Are we allowed to share this stuff around?
Excellent!!!
LOL! Great movie.
satire about the LT ping!!!
Our own.....
Kenny Bunk!!!!!
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