Posted on 05/13/2005 7:36:25 AM PDT by PJ-Comix
It looks like William Rivers (Pied Piper) Pitt is doing a lot of worrying that the scam perpetrated by Andy Stephenson is going to explode in his face. Pity Poor Pathetic Pied Piper Pitt (had to get in at least one allitertation) for he hasn’t slept since April as you can see in this Pitt authored DUmmie THREAD titled, “I could use a little help here.” Yeah, Pitt, you could actually use a LOT of help WHEN the AndyScam blows up in such a way that even the incredibly gullible DUmmies realize that Andy Stephenson has been scamming them just as cold-bloodedly as his former mentor, Bev Harris. A constant theme right now in DUmmieland is that they just KNOW that Andy is on the up and up BECAUSE Pied Piper Pitt told them so. I hate to tell you this DUmmies but Pied Piper Pitt has ALSO been having doubts about the DUmmies as have been documented in the Free Republic discussion forum of the previous DUFU edition titled, “’About the Andy Stephenson situation’---Skinner.” Oh, and speaking of Skinner, haven’t the DUmmies noticed that he has been MIA since issuing his doubts about Stephenson a few days ago? Skinner is less than an hour from Baltimore but he has yet to make the short trip over there to verify Andy’s fraudulent story. It is “The Silence of the Scams.” So let us now join Pied Piper Pitt in his state of complete sleeplessness. Somehow I think Pitt will be greeting the sun for many, many mornings to come. As usual the insomniac rantings of Pitt and his DUmmie followers are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who enjoyed a refreshing night of deep sleep, is in the [brackets]:
I could use a little help here
[You sure do, Pied Piper Pitt, especially after the DUmmies form a lynch mob to go after you when even those dopes realize FOR SURE that they have been scammed by Andy Stephenson, thanks in large part to you vouching for Andy’s honesty.]
I haven't been able to sleep for about two weeks. I start to drop off, and maybe actually sleep for about 20 minutes, before popping awake. Last night, for about the fifteenth day in a row, I saw the sun come up against my will. This has started to affect my stomach, which makes sleeping harder. I have tried exercise to wear myself out, and have managed to badly strain a muscle in my back.
[Your back will hurt even more after the DUmmies start angrily beating on it while cursing you for enabling the AndyScam.]
So, to recap: No sleep since April, rotten stomach, torn up back. I've reached that insomnia point where I am psyching myself out; I got no sleep the night before last, spent yesterday writing a PDA action alert and a 30-minute speech transcript, drove two hours to do the speech, gave the speech, did a three-hour Q&A, talked to people for another hour, drove two more hours to get home, and by the time I got back here I was literally quivering with exhaustion.
[So, to recap: You are worried sick about what will happen to you after Andy Stephenson is proven to be a complete FRAUD even to the satisfaction of the incredibly gullible DUmmie suckers.]
But I laid awake until 6:37am (I remember looking at the clock), popped awake an 8, 9, 10 before finally giving up and getting up at 11. I can barely see straight right now, my stomach feels like it has snakes in it, my back is killing me so I can't exercise...and I know for a stone fact that I won't be able to sleep again. Tried a nap an hour or so ago. Came thiiiiiiiis close to dropping of and then popped awake.
[3:11 AM: “Worried sick about the backlash when Andy’s scam is finally proven.”
3:12 AM: “Will they toss me out of Dummieland?”
3:13 AM: “Will my speaking engagements be cancelled?”
3:14 AM: “Maybe I could change my identity.”
3:15 AM: “DAMN YOU TO HELL, Andy, for suckering me into being your lousy cheerleader!!!”
3:16 AM: “Is it 3:17 AM yet?”]
Any ideas? I've already heard about taking mela-whatever, but that stuff gave my mother splitting headaches when she tried it. I have drastically cut back on caffiene. Any other suggestions would be appreciated. I've reached that violently, violently, violently frustrated stage of insomnia where sleep is a guaranteed impossibility, and if a routine like yesterday's (while on no sleep) can't get it done, I am at a total loss.
[Confession is good for the soul. And now let us read the hilarious advice on insomnia cures from your fellow DUmmies, Pitt.]
scotch. start about 3pm. you'll be out by 9
[Thunderbird. Start about 3 PM. You’ll be homeless by 9.]
Tried it. I managed to make myself unconscious, but that isn't sleep. Woke up worse off the next day. Tried it again a few days later, and all that happened was I was drunk and wide awake.
[Pied Piper Pitt---The wide awake drunk. That’s what happens when you fall such obvious scams that Andy perpetrates.]
sex?
[Unfortunately Andy can no longer be located.]
Move the clock...for one thing. Looking at that thing with the blinking : all night can be horrifying.
[If Pitt moves his clock all it will mean is that he will have to keep walking over to it every 5 minutes to check to see if he got at least a half hour of sleep.]
yes, sex works remember, only in fundie land is a monogamous partner of the opposite gender who desires to become pregnant is a requirement for "sex."
[Only in DUmmieland does it not matter what gender or species your sex partner is.]
Will: see a doctor. Insomnia is a bitch, although I only get it maybe once or twice a month.
[Pitt needs to see a shrink doctor. See Pitt lying on the shrink’s couch? Let us see what the shrink is writing on his note pad: “Just plain NUTS!!!”]
This sounds like a case for sleeping pills though I ordinarily wouldn't recommend them.
[NOT a good idea. Pitt would be tempted to swallow the whole bottle after the AndyScam blows up in DUmmieland.]
Benadryl. But don't take it every night, as you can become addicted (as per my physician husband).
[Methinks Pitt would become addicted the first night after desperately popping pill after pill of those Benny’s.]
Eat lots of turkey! Turkey has natural sleep inducers in it.
[And if that doesn’t work, have someone take a frozen turkey and slam it on Pitt’s head to knock him out.]
My problem is that I have bad physical reactions to anti-histamine stuff. I had raging bad allergies as a kid, and was always loaded up on the stuff. After a few years it just messed me up, and still does whenever I touch it.
[I can sympathize, Pitt. I’m allergic to wool so I’ve had to cross sheep off my date list. Such are the sacrifices I’ve had to make.]
Tonight I will do turkey, warm milk and the tub
[You’re going to do turkey in a tub filled with warm milk, Pitt? You really ARE kinky!]
Yes - I like Tylenol PM myself.
[I once tried to commit suicide by taking a cyanide pill. Unfortunately some sick bastard tampered with the cyanide pill bottle and I took a Tylenol that he inserted instead. I’m suing!!!]
empty your mind, grasshopper...
[…be just like your fellow DUmmies, cricket…]
I don't really know any tricks to get to sleep but one thing I discovered is that it makes no sense to just lay there willing yourself to do it - the more you try, the less likely it is that it will happen. So when I couldn't sleep, I'd get up. I'd tidy the house, I'd do laundry, I'd go for a walk, I'd read, I'd write, I'd work. Eventually, I'd get very, very tired and I'd lay down again. If I didn't get to sleep within a reasonable time, I'd get up again.
[Good idea… Hey Pitt! My pad needs cleaning and after that you can do my laundry.]
stop doing crystal meth that's what I had to do.
[speed_addiction…is that you?]
The back thing is my own fault. I've been beating the shit out of myself on my weight bench, way overdoing it to try and get sleepy. A muscle in my shoulderblade area finally got tired of it and told me to f*ck myself.
[And after the AndyScam scandal explodes, Pitt, your fellow DUmmies will be telling you the same thing as your shoulderblade muscle told you.]
Definitely see a doctor...there might be a physiological reason you're having trouble sleeping.
[Pitt’s problem is ALL mental.]
Will, I'm not a doctor, but I am going to go ahead and give you medical advice anyway. Your body is telling you to take a break.
[Yes, good advice. Take a break, Pitt, on a Costa Rica getaway with Andy Stephenson. Don’t worry about expenses. Andy has $50,000 to blow.]
Otherwise, until you see an internist, a bit of turkey, milk and a warm bath. Then find something boring, yet educational, to read.
[Maybe not educational but Pitt’s own writings should do the trick.]
A friend of mine who went through a divorce said she would drop her jaw down as you would right before you fall asleep and then force herself to COUNT SHEEP. It actually worked for her.
[It won’t work for me. I told you before that I’m allergic to wool.]
One word solution... PAMPER!
[One word solution… PAMPERS!]
White noise (I have a CD of very, very faint/distand thunderstorms and rain, and it's coma-inducing).
[White noise (I have a CD of very, very faint Pitt speeches, and it’s coma-inducing).]
Breathe thru your eyes ... Bull Durham
[Breath thru your butt … Andy Stephenson.]
Watch some mindless TV.
[Keith Olbermann.]
Ambien is habit forming and every person is different. So telling someone to ignore legitimate and documented side effects and product warnings is not particularly sound advice, wouldn't you agree?
[WARNING: Side effects of Ambien may inlude nausea, diarrhea attacks, dizziness, urges to support left wing loony causes, and the total loss of any ability to discern obvious scams.]
dude...seriously...smoke up. If I need to be asleep, pot is my friend to a nice, happy, and deep sleep.
[“Puff the magic dragon down by the sea!”]
First of all, sleep is over-rated.
[Sleep? Who needs it!]
You need to start "shutting down" very gradually.
[After the DUmmies finally wake up to the AndyScam, they will be “shutting down” Pitt very rapidly.]
Try to figure out what caused this abnormal sleep cycle to begin in the first place and address that issue.
[I don’t believe that Pitt thinking about how he has become Andy Stephenson’s lead cheerleader in Dummieland is going to help him get any sleep.]
Go To An Acupuncturist ASAP.
[Perhaps the acupuncturist can anesthetize those brain cells containing all memories about Andy.]
want something natural? try acupuncture- & I know where to get it cheap in the south end
[I don’t know about Pitt but Andy certainly would love to be acupunctured in the south end.]
You really should go to a doctor for a sleep evaluation. This may include keeping a diary for a week or so…
[May 13: “WHAT? WHAT? WHAT will I do when the DUmmies rise up against me when the AndyScam breaks?
May 15: “Need to leave the country. PRONTO!”
May 16: “Quick flight down to Costa Rica.”
May 20: “Slight gender preference modification but the honeymoon with Andy is just dreamy!”]
Cancel your appointments. Don't listen to TV or radio. Turn off your cell phone. Rent some funny movies.
[Flim Flam Man. The Sting.]
Are you calling me a liar???
We've been caught up in weddings, out-of towners staying over. One of the groomsmen, head teller in his family's bank,was visiting here when the checks first appeared. He studied the checks on different websites to get the clearest image. At first he looked puzzled, then appalled. After reading some printouts from DU focusing on the checks in the mail, checks lost, JHH mailroom and JHH finance office lies, he was laughing like a madman.
Took copies of checks, clearest I could find, with me when I went to bank on personal errand. It's not a chain bank. The president of the bank, my neighbor's son, came over to chat. I said take a look at this and just give me your first impression. He burst out laughing immediately, called out to the other officers and staff to come see.
I had to get to the jewelers before all the bride's serving pieces were bought; I could hear them roaring with laughter from the parking lot.
If the printer makes a mistake on a check printing job, the printer does a rerun on the job and eats the cost.
Financial institutions are seriously reluctant to issue checks that look like play checks. Credit unions are unlikely to be less fastidious though they could afford it more easily, since they are tax-exempt.
This was before I heard of Jason and channelle verifying the check images over the phone. --- Thanks again.
You are relentless. This is great. Thank you. b.
Thank you. Thank you. b.
Andy's been through the c word around a lot from the earliest days. More thanks for more gold. b
Thanks. There is nothing that can take away the truth that I heard in my phone call. That will never change!
I've been to a lot of weddings. Every wedding, I mean every one of them, where the bride and groom and parents and church janitors, or sanitation workers when the wedding was in a park, stood around reading the interminable, and incomprehensible monkey dew in Kahlil Gibran, ended in bitter, vicious divorce. Thermonuclear.
When people don't think their own thoughts are good enough, or "express the true meaning" of their feelings, they resort to this gibberish. It's manipulative...give me your money, your body, your brain...and you'll feel so morally superior to those insensitive clods who will never know the true meaning blah,blah, blah.
Horrible.
Bless your heart! Seems as if you're running out of cigarettes almost everytime you turn around. Now, either you're smoking waaaaayyyyy too many or you're buying them one pack at a time.
Being a fellow smoker, it's cheaper to buy by the carton and you don't have to make those irking, oops runs to the local convenience store. Heck, living in Oklahoma, I've taken to buying mine from the Native American Smoke Shops. I end up saving about 15.00 a carton when I compare carton to carton...don't know what the savings are if I was buying single packs but it'd be enough to finance a new car probably!
Just a suggestion for ya! :)
from flyarm{ #371
"No dear...we have broken all protocol to get andy in with this dr and in this possible test program--under no circummstances would he have qualified without insurance..."
"he[Andy] has the best surgeon in the world ...who has the best success ratio...of helping Andy be cancer free."
{So what she's saying is that other surgeons have been busy but not as successful as this doctor, in helping Andy be cancer free.)
"andy may get into the test program that is showing remarkable success. It all depends on what the doctor finds when they go in."
So this doctor is going in with no clear idea of what he's looking for? Are these people so deperate to be accepted somewhere in the world that will swallow these glaring, stupid lies. Don't they know a damned thing about anything?
This is the mother lode for me, tx. Ever grateful. b.
"Washington state DSHS is turning down all new patients. So there is NO MONEY IN THE COOKIE JAR for me right now."
Andy writes this with the confidence that DUers also view the money the goverment rips out of the pockets of the nurse working double shifts on weekends after a regular work week to buy her kids books or skates, the cashier on her feet all day at the Piggly Wiggly, the "blood sucker" doctors who miss seeing their families to work long hours to pay malpractice insurance, all that money belongs to Andy and his ilk.
We keep Andy's cookie jar full. --- Thanks hipa. b
Glad I could help. (tips hat)
Last?
Sorry for being offline.
Work can be such an interference in life!
Anyway, hope to play with it some more tonight. Of course, I'll read the next couple of hundred posts to see if someone else has already picked up the ball while I was off the field.
Regards & cheers!
link post to me
Doctor used the c fer cancer word friday. cancer survival rates for liver cancer are 4 -5 %
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=203&topic_id=326017#326029
This is the end.
Thank you and good night.
Move along...nothing to see here.
New thread has started.
This has been a PJ-Comix Production.
copyright 2005
All Rights Reserved.
cast:
Andy "Undie" "Felonious" Stephenson - "Cancer Patient"
"Termite" - Boy Toy to Undie
"GoodBoy" - Not
sfexpat2000 - Shill
Epatriot - sfexpat2000
Greatauntoftwins - Aunt Undie
Freepers - Tireless Investigators
Jim Robinson - Executive
PJ-Comix - Producer
The End
I'd be glad to take a look; where do I get the backstory? And if you say DU, you'd better be prepared to pay for the vaccinations. ;)
It's already been solved, sorry. ;) Basically today one of his IRL friends admitted that he never had a cancer diagnosis, even though Andy Stephenson used wording like, "I need surgery at Johns Hopkins, where the survival rate of pancreatic cancer is much higher than at other hospitals" and he was having his IRL friends vouch for his pancreatic cancer status. On top of that, ALL the fundraisers were done so with the explicit plea that he needed emergency surgery for pancreatic cancer (William Pitts, DailyKos, etc... do a google search on "Andy Stephenson" and "pancreatic cancer")
I think the images I pinged you to got yanked, but his preliminary medical report is at post #866 on here: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/1402493/posts?q=1&&page=851 . Keep in mind that these reports were made the day AFTER he was presumed to have the Whipple procedure for pancreatic cancer... in my pulled-out-of-my-butt opinion it does not have any wording associated with someone who was assumed to have been diagnosed with cancer 4 months ago, more like a very generic "we've found a mass and we don't know what it is yet" report. What do you think?
Everyone, listen... Libertarian4Bush is almost a doctor, so unlike mine, his medical opinion actually carries, like, WEIGHT. =)
I don't know much else about this guy's story, but here's the deal: lots of people hear they have a growth and assume (either due to ignorance or fear) that they have cancer. what makes him different from your average patient is that most don't have fundraisers until they're actually TOLD that's what it is.
to me (again, haven't read all 2000 posts), this is no different than the mom who fakes her kid's cancer in order to exploit the generosity of strangers. this being FR, I'm wondering if there isn't some external political component to it regarding healthcare, this guy's previous activism, etc.
in any event, no, the report isn't partiularly damning.
sorry it took me so long to reply, I've been back and forth to the midwest a few times recently.
Ping to #2059.
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