Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

DUmmie FUnnies 05-13-05 (Pied Piper Pitt Hasn't Slept Since April!)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | May 13, 2005 | William Rivers Pitt, DUmmies, and PJ-Comix

Posted on 05/13/2005 7:36:25 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

It looks like William Rivers (Pied Piper) Pitt is doing a lot of worrying that the scam perpetrated by Andy Stephenson is going to explode in his face. Pity Poor Pathetic Pied Piper Pitt (had to get in at least one allitertation) for he hasn’t slept since April as you can see in this Pitt authored DUmmie THREAD titled, “I could use a little help here.” Yeah, Pitt, you could actually use a LOT of help WHEN the AndyScam blows up in such a way that even the incredibly gullible DUmmies realize that Andy Stephenson has been scamming them just as cold-bloodedly as his former mentor, Bev Harris. A constant theme right now in DUmmieland is that they just KNOW that Andy is on the up and up BECAUSE Pied Piper Pitt told them so. I hate to tell you this DUmmies but Pied Piper Pitt has ALSO been having doubts about the DUmmies as have been documented in the Free Republic discussion forum of the previous DUFU edition titled, “’About the Andy Stephenson situation’---Skinner.” Oh, and speaking of Skinner, haven’t the DUmmies noticed that he has been MIA since issuing his doubts about Stephenson a few days ago? Skinner is less than an hour from Baltimore but he has yet to make the short trip over there to verify Andy’s fraudulent story. It is “The Silence of the Scams.” So let us now join Pied Piper Pitt in his state of complete sleeplessness. Somehow I think Pitt will be greeting the sun for many, many mornings to come. As usual the insomniac rantings of Pitt and his DUmmie followers are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who enjoyed a refreshing night of deep sleep, is in the [brackets]:

I could use a little help here

[You sure do, Pied Piper Pitt, especially after the DUmmies form a lynch mob to go after you when even those dopes realize FOR SURE that they have been scammed by Andy Stephenson, thanks in large part to you vouching for Andy’s honesty.]

I haven't been able to sleep for about two weeks. I start to drop off, and maybe actually sleep for about 20 minutes, before popping awake. Last night, for about the fifteenth day in a row, I saw the sun come up against my will. This has started to affect my stomach, which makes sleeping harder. I have tried exercise to wear myself out, and have managed to badly strain a muscle in my back.

[Your back will hurt even more after the DUmmies start angrily beating on it while cursing you for enabling the AndyScam.]

So, to recap: No sleep since April, rotten stomach, torn up back. I've reached that insomnia point where I am psyching myself out; I got no sleep the night before last, spent yesterday writing a PDA action alert and a 30-minute speech transcript, drove two hours to do the speech, gave the speech, did a three-hour Q&A, talked to people for another hour, drove two more hours to get home, and by the time I got back here I was literally quivering with exhaustion.

[So, to recap: You are worried sick about what will happen to you after Andy Stephenson is proven to be a complete FRAUD even to the satisfaction of the incredibly gullible DUmmie suckers.]

But I laid awake until 6:37am (I remember looking at the clock), popped awake an 8, 9, 10 before finally giving up and getting up at 11. I can barely see straight right now, my stomach feels like it has snakes in it, my back is killing me so I can't exercise...and I know for a stone fact that I won't be able to sleep again. Tried a nap an hour or so ago. Came thiiiiiiiis close to dropping of and then popped awake.

[3:11 AM: “Worried sick about the backlash when Andy’s scam is finally proven.”
3:12 AM: “Will they toss me out of Dummieland?”
3:13 AM: “Will my speaking engagements be cancelled?”
3:14 AM: “Maybe I could change my identity.”
3:15 AM: “DAMN YOU TO HELL, Andy, for suckering me into being your lousy cheerleader!!!”
3:16 AM: “Is it 3:17 AM yet?”]

Any ideas? I've already heard about taking mela-whatever, but that stuff gave my mother splitting headaches when she tried it. I have drastically cut back on caffiene. Any other suggestions would be appreciated. I've reached that violently, violently, violently frustrated stage of insomnia where sleep is a guaranteed impossibility, and if a routine like yesterday's (while on no sleep) can't get it done, I am at a total loss.

[Confession is good for the soul. And now let us read the hilarious advice on insomnia cures from your fellow DUmmies, Pitt.]

scotch. start about 3pm. you'll be out by 9

[Thunderbird. Start about 3 PM. You’ll be homeless by 9.]

Tried it. I managed to make myself unconscious, but that isn't sleep. Woke up worse off the next day. Tried it again a few days later, and all that happened was I was drunk and wide awake.

[Pied Piper Pitt---The wide awake drunk. That’s what happens when you fall such obvious scams that Andy perpetrates.]

sex?

[Unfortunately Andy can no longer be located.]

Move the clock...for one thing. Looking at that thing with the blinking : all night can be horrifying.

[If Pitt moves his clock all it will mean is that he will have to keep walking over to it every 5 minutes to check to see if he got at least a half hour of sleep.]

yes, sex works remember, only in fundie land is a monogamous partner of the opposite gender who desires to become pregnant is a requirement for "sex."

[Only in DUmmieland does it not matter what gender or species your sex partner is.]

Will: see a doctor. Insomnia is a bitch, although I only get it maybe once or twice a month.

[Pitt needs to see a shrink doctor. See Pitt lying on the shrink’s couch? Let us see what the shrink is writing on his note pad: “Just plain NUTS!!!”]

This sounds like a case for sleeping pills though I ordinarily wouldn't recommend them.

[NOT a good idea. Pitt would be tempted to swallow the whole bottle after the AndyScam blows up in DUmmieland.]

Benadryl. But don't take it every night, as you can become addicted (as per my physician husband).

[Methinks Pitt would become addicted the first night after desperately popping pill after pill of those Benny’s.]

Eat lots of turkey! Turkey has natural sleep inducers in it.

[And if that doesn’t work, have someone take a frozen turkey and slam it on Pitt’s head to knock him out.]

My problem is that I have bad physical reactions to anti-histamine stuff. I had raging bad allergies as a kid, and was always loaded up on the stuff. After a few years it just messed me up, and still does whenever I touch it.

[I can sympathize, Pitt. I’m allergic to wool so I’ve had to cross sheep off my date list. Such are the sacrifices I’ve had to make.]

Tonight I will do turkey, warm milk and the tub

[You’re going to do turkey in a tub filled with warm milk, Pitt? You really ARE kinky!]

Yes - I like Tylenol PM myself.

[I once tried to commit suicide by taking a cyanide pill. Unfortunately some sick bastard tampered with the cyanide pill bottle and I took a Tylenol that he inserted instead. I’m suing!!!]

empty your mind, grasshopper...

[…be just like your fellow DUmmies, cricket…]

I don't really know any tricks to get to sleep but one thing I discovered is that it makes no sense to just lay there willing yourself to do it - the more you try, the less likely it is that it will happen. So when I couldn't sleep, I'd get up. I'd tidy the house, I'd do laundry, I'd go for a walk, I'd read, I'd write, I'd work. Eventually, I'd get very, very tired and I'd lay down again. If I didn't get to sleep within a reasonable time, I'd get up again.

[Good idea… Hey Pitt! My pad needs cleaning and after that you can do my laundry.]

stop doing crystal meth that's what I had to do.

[speed_addiction…is that you?]

The back thing is my own fault. I've been beating the shit out of myself on my weight bench, way overdoing it to try and get sleepy. A muscle in my shoulderblade area finally got tired of it and told me to f*ck myself.

[And after the AndyScam scandal explodes, Pitt, your fellow DUmmies will be telling you the same thing as your shoulderblade muscle told you.]

Definitely see a doctor...there might be a physiological reason you're having trouble sleeping.

[Pitt’s problem is ALL mental.]

Will, I'm not a doctor, but I am going to go ahead and give you medical advice anyway. Your body is telling you to take a break.

[Yes, good advice. Take a break, Pitt, on a Costa Rica getaway with Andy Stephenson. Don’t worry about expenses. Andy has $50,000 to blow.]

Otherwise, until you see an internist, a bit of turkey, milk and a warm bath. Then find something boring, yet educational, to read.

[Maybe not educational but Pitt’s own writings should do the trick.]

A friend of mine who went through a divorce said she would drop her jaw down as you would right before you fall asleep and then force herself to COUNT SHEEP. It actually worked for her.

[It won’t work for me. I told you before that I’m allergic to wool.]

One word solution... PAMPER!

[One word solution… PAMPERS!]

White noise (I have a CD of very, very faint/distand thunderstorms and rain, and it's coma-inducing).

[White noise (I have a CD of very, very faint Pitt speeches, and it’s coma-inducing).]

Breathe thru your eyes ... Bull Durham

[Breath thru your butt … Andy Stephenson.]

Watch some mindless TV.

[Keith Olbermann.]

Ambien is habit forming and every person is different. So telling someone to ignore legitimate and documented side effects and product warnings is not particularly sound advice, wouldn't you agree?

[WARNING: Side effects of Ambien may inlude nausea, diarrhea attacks, dizziness, urges to support left wing loony causes, and the total loss of any ability to discern obvious scams.]

dude...seriously...smoke up. If I need to be asleep, pot is my friend to a nice, happy, and deep sleep.

[“Puff the magic dragon down by the sea!”]

First of all, sleep is over-rated.

[Sleep? Who needs it!]

You need to start "shutting down" very gradually.

[After the DUmmies finally wake up to the AndyScam, they will be “shutting down” Pitt very rapidly.]

Try to figure out what caused this abnormal sleep cycle to begin in the first place and address that issue.

[I don’t believe that Pitt thinking about how he has become Andy Stephenson’s lead cheerleader in Dummieland is going to help him get any sleep.]

Go To An Acupuncturist ASAP.

[Perhaps the acupuncturist can anesthetize those brain cells containing all memories about Andy.]

want something natural? try acupuncture- & I know where to get it cheap in the south end

[I don’t know about Pitt but Andy certainly would love to be acupunctured in the south end.]

You really should go to a doctor for a sleep evaluation. This may include keeping a diary for a week or so…

[May 13: “WHAT? WHAT? WHAT will I do when the DUmmies rise up against me when the AndyScam breaks?
May 15: “Need to leave the country. PRONTO!”
May 16: “Quick flight down to Costa Rica.”
May 20: “Slight gender preference modification but the honeymoon with Andy is just dreamy!”]

Cancel your appointments. Don't listen to TV or radio. Turn off your cell phone. Rent some funny movies.

[Flim Flam Man. The Sting.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: andyscam; andystephenson; cashfortuck; dramaqueen; dummiefunnies; dummies; scams; skinner; williampitt
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 1,601-1,6201,621-1,6401,641-1,660 ... 2,061-2,074 next last
To: txradioguy
LOL!! & many thanks for your service tx!! Love the pic of you in Baghdad on the CU thread!
1,621 posted on 05/16/2005 7:22:18 AM PDT by lutz (The AndyScam Saga Continues!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1542 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix; franksolich; NEPA; txradioguy; MisterRepublican; KJC1; speed_addiction; Barset
Undie is smart. He only HINTED at having pancreatic cancer while his dopey shills such as Pied Piper Pitt went out and actually CLAIMED he had pancreatic cancer. In the end, Undie will protest that he never actually used the words "pancreatic cancer." Problem is if he knew he didn't have pancreatic cancer, why did he allow his shills (with Pied Piper Pitt being the chief shill cheerleader) to claim he had it?

What you are suggesting, PJ, is what is called, "plausible denialibity." Except, in this case, it's implausible. Undie was well aware that his cheerleaders were using the claim of life-or-death pancreatic cancer in order to raise money, as his own many posts on those DU threads reveal and as his repeated and close communication with those cheerleaders confirms.

BTW, PJ, I would say Undie's chief shill cheerleader, at least on DU, is Elizabeth "Beth" Ferrari, alias "sfexpat2000" (and thus possibly also "expatriate"?). However, certainly Pitt too is in this thing up to his armPitts, even if he is just a naive DUpe. In fact, frank and PJ, we may have to rename him, "Useful Pundidiot Pitt."

So, bottom line, PJ, I think what we are both saying is that Undie may very well have . . .

LIHOP!

or even worse,

MIHOP!

1,622 posted on 05/16/2005 7:25:10 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Undie the Fundee.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1559 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
"plausible denialibity."

"plausible deniability."

1,623 posted on 05/16/2005 7:26:39 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Undie the Fundee.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1622 | View Replies]

To: speed_addiction
It is obvious that we have had thousands of hits from DU coming over here to see what is going on. What I find strange is their silence. I am sure a good portion of them are not coming over here to learn about what has happened but to see what we have done to their boy.

"The Silence of the Scams." And for all you lurking DUmmies. Have you ever seen a post by Andy where he actually CLAIMS to have pancreatic cancer? Look hard because it doesn't exist. He has only hinted at it while allowing his cheerleading shills such as Pied Piper Pitt to actually come out and claim that Andy has pancreatic cancer WITHOUT correcting them.

1,624 posted on 05/16/2005 7:27:31 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1611 | View Replies]

To: Charles Henrickson

"plausible deniliability"?


1,625 posted on 05/16/2005 7:27:59 AM PDT by franksolich (fighting crime and corruption 24/7/365)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1623 | View Replies]

To: commonguymd
I am waiting for Mr. Pitt or Mr. Skinner to figure out they were used as a "character references" for the whole charade to have legitimacy...

In Pied Piper Pitt's case, he did more than merely allow himself to be used as a character witness. Pitt became a BIG CHEERLEADER for Andy while flat out claiming that Andy has pancreatic cancer despite the fact that there is NO post by Andy where he made such a claim. No wonder Pitt can't sleep. When this AndyScam blows wide open, he will be in the frontline of the blast.

1,626 posted on 05/16/2005 7:30:51 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1614 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

Maybee Will Pitt had one too many bricks to his head.


1,627 posted on 05/16/2005 7:35:07 AM PDT by nonkultur
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1626 | View Replies]

To: franksolich; All
To sum up...The BIG NEWS we have discovered the past couple of days is that Andy Stephenson NEVER claimed to have pancreatic cancer. However, he did allow his cheerleading shills (such as Pied Piper Pitt) make the claim that he has pancreatic cancer WITHOUT ever correcting them.

Now, Andy's WHOLE purpose of going to Johns Hopkins is supposed to be for their Whipple surgical procedure for pancreatic cancer (which he does not actually actually claim to have). Therefore if Andy does NOT have pancreatic cancer, WHY couldn't he have allowed a hospital in Washington state treat him without charge rather than hit up his fellow DUmmies for 50k+ for a surgical procedure he does NOT need since he does NOT have pancreatic cancer?

1,628 posted on 05/16/2005 7:40:03 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1627 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

Especially since one of the country's best surgeons on the pancreas is right there in Washington state.....and the felonious Andy could have spent his time in recovery, investigating voter fraud in his own front yard?


1,629 posted on 05/16/2005 7:42:01 AM PDT by franksolich (fighting crime and corruption 24/7/365)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1628 | View Replies]

To: NRA1995
never in my life have I seen such a large group of absolutely gullible IDIOTS as at DU

LOL -- it's like a Happy Hunting Ground for bunko artists.

1,630 posted on 05/16/2005 7:43:55 AM PDT by steve-b (A desire not to butt into other people's business is eighty percent of all human wisdom)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1604 | View Replies]

To: franksolich
"Plausible Senilability?"

Whatever, this is one of the more interesting threads in a long time. Thanks to PJ and friends for all the updates!

1,631 posted on 05/16/2005 7:44:15 AM PDT by Paradox (In my heart, I will always be something of a Liberal, in my head, a Conservative. Head wins.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1625 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

Its gonna have to take someone like him(pitt) or Skinner to realize and turncoat before the masses change their belief. Pitt is being pretty silent from what I can tell, as well as Skinner. Are they both waiting for something, or are they working with authorities already?


1,632 posted on 05/16/2005 7:45:05 AM PDT by commonguymd (My impatience is far more advanced than any known technology.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1626 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
I called and Verity and a Jason said that he highly doubts they have their bank name on the CUSTOMER'S COPY of the cashier's checks. He wasn't totally sure though (he is just in the call center) & he did say he wasn't sure. I'm inclined to believe him though.

Exact words were "I highly doubt that the name is on them."

If someone wants to try a branch, they would know for sure, and they will be open 10am (pacific time?). I'm horrible with the time differences, sorry!

1,633 posted on 05/16/2005 7:46:24 AM PDT by lutz (The AndyScam Saga Continues!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1555 | View Replies]

To: maggiefluffs

Bookmark


1,634 posted on 05/16/2005 7:46:47 AM PDT by maggief
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1632 | View Replies]

To: franksolich
More and MORE this is looking like a case of PANCREATIS that Andy has allowed to be built (thanx to cheerleading dopey shills like Pied Piper Pitt) into a case of PANCREATIC CANCER. Since his WHOLE REASON for going to Johns Hopkins was for their Whipple surgical procedure for PANCREATIC CANCER, then there was absolutely NO NEED for Andy to go to Johns Hopkins....other than raising 50k+ for a procedure he does NOT need.

I repeat. Andy has NEVER come out and flatly stated that he has PANCREATIC CANCER. Only his cheerleading shills have made that claim. And no WONDER Pied Piper Pitt can't sleep at night.

1,635 posted on 05/16/2005 7:46:58 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1629 | View Replies]

To: lutz

Uh, madam, you are forgetting one other little detail.

Little details, yeah, they're a nuisance.

Would professionally-printed bank cashier's checks have the grammatical error "cashiers" check on them?


1,636 posted on 05/16/2005 7:50:39 AM PDT by franksolich (fighting crime and corruption 24/7/365)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1633 | View Replies]

To: txradioguy
And now for something completely different...despite all of the scandal surrounding the fleecing of the DUmp by AndyScam....$kimmer has started the quarterly fund raising drive to keep himself supplied with twinkies and zig zag rolling papers.

I told you guys that no way was Skinner leaving his DUmpster to the likes of "Earl the Squirrel"G and the ever-useless Elad. He made a big show over the weekend of taking off to smell the roses or whatever, then the greatest purge since the Night of Long Knives ensued. Now--voila--fund raiser! BWAAAAhahahahahahahaha! Haven't they already cleaned out their penny jars and sent it all to Scamdy?

1,637 posted on 05/16/2005 7:54:42 AM PDT by Scothia (Whom the gods wish to destroy, they first make DUmmies.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1564 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
PJ, I agree with you in the non-existant pancreatic cancer, but if any of the CT scan report is true, he does have a tumor on the duct, and a stent was in place, if this report is factual.

This may very well be a case of AS freaking out about a diagnosis that did not pan out to be malignant, and he let it steamroll from there because the money was too good to pass up.

This is the most benign explaination. Anything more than that is calculated fraud.

1,638 posted on 05/16/2005 7:54:53 AM PDT by SCALEMAN (Super Cards/Rams Fan)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1635 | View Replies]

To: lutz

A little detail I forgot.

On which branch of that bank, were the "cashiers" checks ostensibly drawn?


1,639 posted on 05/16/2005 7:55:43 AM PDT by franksolich (fighting crime and corruption 24/7/365)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1636 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix; franksolich

Sleepless and embattled, Useful Pundidiot Pitt contemplates his next step.

1,640 posted on 05/16/2005 7:55:49 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Undie the Fundee.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1635 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 1,601-1,6201,621-1,6401,641-1,660 ... 2,061-2,074 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson