DUmmie FUnnies 05-13-05 (Pied Piper Pitt Hasn't Slept Since April!)

It looks like William Rivers (Pied Piper) Pitt is doing a lot of worrying that the scam perpetrated by Andy Stephenson is going to explode in his face. Pity Poor Pathetic Pied Piper Pitt (had to get in at least one allitertation) for he hasn’t slept since April as you can see in this Pitt authored DUmmie THREAD titled, “I could use a little help here.” Yeah, Pitt, you could actually use a LOT of help WHEN the AndyScam blows up in such a way that even the incredibly gullible DUmmies realize that Andy Stephenson has been scamming them just as cold-bloodedly as his former mentor, Bev Harris. A constant theme right now in DUmmieland is that they just KNOW that Andy is on the up and up BECAUSE Pied Piper Pitt told them so. I hate to tell you this DUmmies but Pied Piper Pitt has ALSO been having doubts about the DUmmies as have been documented in the Free Republic discussion forum of the previous DUFU edition titled, “’About the Andy Stephenson situation’---Skinner.” Oh, and speaking of Skinner, haven’t the DUmmies noticed that he has been MIA since issuing his doubts about Stephenson a few days ago? Skinner is less than an hour from Baltimore but he has yet to make the short trip over there to verify Andy’s fraudulent story. It is “The Silence of the Scams.” So let us now join Pied Piper Pitt in his state of complete sleeplessness. Somehow I think Pitt will be greeting the sun for many, many mornings to come. As usual the insomniac rantings of Pitt and his DUmmie followers are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who enjoyed a refreshing night of deep sleep, is in the [brackets]:

[You sure do, Pied Piper Pitt, especially after the DUmmies form a lynch mob to go after you when even those dopes realize FOR SURE that they have been scammed by Andy Stephenson, thanks in large part to you vouching for Andy’s honesty.]

I haven't been able to sleep for about two weeks. I start to drop off, and maybe actually sleep for about 20 minutes, before popping awake. Last night, for about the fifteenth day in a row, I saw the sun come up against my will. This has started to affect my stomach, which makes sleeping harder. I have tried exercise to wear myself out, and have managed to badly strain a muscle in my back.

[Your back will hurt even more after the DUmmies start angrily beating on it while cursing you for enabling the AndyScam.]

So, to recap: No sleep since April, rotten stomach, torn up back. I've reached that insomnia point where I am psyching myself out; I got no sleep the night before last, spent yesterday writing a PDA action alert and a 30-minute speech transcript, drove two hours to do the speech, gave the speech, did a three-hour Q&A, talked to people for another hour, drove two more hours to get home, and by the time I got back here I was literally quivering with exhaustion.

[So, to recap: You are worried sick about what will happen to you after Andy Stephenson is proven to be a complete FRAUD even to the satisfaction of the incredibly gullible DUmmie suckers.]

But I laid awake until 6:37am (I remember looking at the clock), popped awake an 8, 9, 10 before finally giving up and getting up at 11. I can barely see straight right now, my stomach feels like it has snakes in it, my back is killing me so I can't exercise...and I know for a stone fact that I won't be able to sleep again. Tried a nap an hour or so ago. Came thiiiiiiiis close to dropping of and then popped awake.

[3:11 AM: “Worried sick about the backlash when Andy’s scam is finally proven.”
3:12 AM: “Will they toss me out of Dummieland?”
3:13 AM: “Will my speaking engagements be cancelled?”
3:14 AM: “Maybe I could change my identity.”
3:15 AM: “DAMN YOU TO HELL, Andy, for suckering me into being your lousy cheerleader!!!”
3:16 AM: “Is it 3:17 AM yet?”]

Any ideas? I've already heard about taking mela-whatever, but that stuff gave my mother splitting headaches when she tried it. I have drastically cut back on caffiene. Any other suggestions would be appreciated. I've reached that violently, violently, violently frustrated stage of insomnia where sleep is a guaranteed impossibility, and if a routine like yesterday's (while on no sleep) can't get it done, I am at a total loss.

[Confession is good for the soul. And now let us read the hilarious advice on insomnia cures from your fellow DUmmies, Pitt.]

Tried it. I managed to make myself unconscious, but that isn't sleep. Woke up worse off the next day. Tried it again a few days later, and all that happened was I was drunk and wide awake.

[Pied Piper Pitt---The wide awake drunk. That’s what happens when you fall such obvious scams that Andy perpetrates.]

Move the clock...for one thing. Looking at that thing with the blinking : all night can be horrifying.

[If Pitt moves his clock all it will mean is that he will have to keep walking over to it every 5 minutes to check to see if he got at least a half hour of sleep.]

yes, sex works remember, only in fundie land is a monogamous partner of the opposite gender who desires to become pregnant is a requirement for "sex."

[Only in DUmmieland does it not matter what gender or species your sex partner is.]

Will: see a doctor. Insomnia is a bitch, although I only get it maybe once or twice a month.

[Pitt needs to see a shrink doctor. See Pitt lying on the shrink’s couch? Let us see what the shrink is writing on his note pad: “Just plain NUTS!!!”]

This sounds like a case for sleeping pills though I ordinarily wouldn't recommend them.

[NOT a good idea. Pitt would be tempted to swallow the whole bottle after the AndyScam blows up in DUmmieland.]

Benadryl. But don't take it every night, as you can become addicted (as per my physician husband).

[Methinks Pitt would become addicted the first night after desperately popping pill after pill of those Benny’s.]

[And if that doesn’t work, have someone take a frozen turkey and slam it on Pitt’s head to knock him out.]

My problem is that I have bad physical reactions to anti-histamine stuff. I had raging bad allergies as a kid, and was always loaded up on the stuff. After a few years it just messed me up, and still does whenever I touch it.

[I can sympathize, Pitt. I’m allergic to wool so I’ve had to cross sheep off my date list. Such are the sacrifices I’ve had to make.]

[You’re going to do turkey in a tub filled with warm milk, Pitt? You really ARE kinky!]

[I once tried to commit suicide by taking a cyanide pill. Unfortunately some sick bastard tampered with the cyanide pill bottle and I took a Tylenol that he inserted instead. I’m suing!!!]

I don't really know any tricks to get to sleep but one thing I discovered is that it makes no sense to just lay there willing yourself to do it - the more you try, the less likely it is that it will happen. So when I couldn't sleep, I'd get up. I'd tidy the house, I'd do laundry, I'd go for a walk, I'd read, I'd write, I'd work. Eventually, I'd get very, very tired and I'd lay down again. If I didn't get to sleep within a reasonable time, I'd get up again.

[Good idea… Hey Pitt! My pad needs cleaning and after that you can do my laundry.]

The back thing is my own fault. I've been beating the shit out of myself on my weight bench, way overdoing it to try and get sleepy. A muscle in my shoulderblade area finally got tired of it and told me to f*ck myself.

[And after the AndyScam scandal explodes, Pitt, your fellow DUmmies will be telling you the same thing as your shoulderblade muscle told you.]

Definitely see a doctor...there might be a physiological reason you're having trouble sleeping.

Will, I'm not a doctor, but I am going to go ahead and give you medical advice anyway. Your body is telling you to take a break.

[Yes, good advice. Take a break, Pitt, on a Costa Rica getaway with Andy Stephenson. Don’t worry about expenses. Andy has $50,000 to blow.]

Otherwise, until you see an internist, a bit of turkey, milk and a warm bath. Then find something boring, yet educational, to read.

A friend of mine who went through a divorce said she would drop her jaw down as you would right before you fall asleep and then force herself to COUNT SHEEP. It actually worked for her.

White noise (I have a CD of very, very faint/distand thunderstorms and rain, and it's coma-inducing).

[White noise (I have a CD of very, very faint Pitt speeches, and it’s coma-inducing).]

Ambien is habit forming and every person is different. So telling someone to ignore legitimate and documented side effects and product warnings is not particularly sound advice, wouldn't you agree?

[WARNING: Side effects of Ambien may inlude nausea, diarrhea attacks, dizziness, urges to support left wing loony causes, and the total loss of any ability to discern obvious scams.]

dude...seriously...smoke up. If I need to be asleep, pot is my friend to a nice, happy, and deep sleep.

[After the DUmmies finally wake up to the AndyScam, they will be “shutting down” Pitt very rapidly.]

Try to figure out what caused this abnormal sleep cycle to begin in the first place and address that issue.

[I don’t believe that Pitt thinking about how he has become Andy Stephenson’s lead cheerleader in Dummieland is going to help him get any sleep.]

[Perhaps the acupuncturist can anesthetize those brain cells containing all memories about Andy.]

want something natural? try acupuncture- & I know where to get it cheap in the south end

[I don’t know about Pitt but Andy certainly would love to be acupunctured in the south end.]

You really should go to a doctor for a sleep evaluation. This may include keeping a diary for a week or so…

[May 13: “WHAT? WHAT? WHAT will I do when the DUmmies rise up against me when the AndyScam breaks?
May 15: “Need to leave the country. PRONTO!”
May 16: “Quick flight down to Costa Rica.”
May 20: “Slight gender preference modification but the honeymoon with Andy is just dreamy!”]

Cancel your appointments. Don't listen to TV or radio. Turn off your cell phone. Rent some funny movies.

I think I'm going to officially name the timeline "The Beast" or how about the MOATL (Mother Of All Time Lines)?
I'll add in my previous updates and links, and then if gardencatz can recopy and paste with her updates.

THEN...I think we should try to make sure that we only add to the MOST recently posted timeline.

About the photos: I can't get them to display without throwing the whole enchilada out of whack, so I just posted the link to the sources.

Updated timeline (please copy, paste with additions & corrections):

Jan 02: Donate to the Andy Stephenson fund raiser!!(ie: first instance)>Link not fully defined

Jan 6, 2005 - Washington DC
Photo: http://photos2.flickr.com/3044270_a7dc268346.jpg

Jan 20,2005 - Washington, DC
Photo: http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y230/KJC1/du-two.jpg

Feb-11-05 12:51 PM Undie diagnoses with 'Hepatitis A' (bedrest for 6 weeks)

February 15 02:46:22 CST Blackboxvoting.com reports that Undie has had liver tests, hepatitis is ruled out but, he is ill and needs money. Includes Paypal details>

Feb ?: This long extract is from http://www.votepa.us/>Undefined Link
In February, Andy fell ill after a trip to Washington to lobby for legislation to outlaw the paperless voting machines. He returned to his home in Seattle and we all thought a few days of rest would allow him to get rid of "the bug". But instead of improving, Andy felt worse and worse. Ultimately his test results showed that he has pancreatic cancer. Andy's cancer has been caught early, but any cancer of the pancreas is extremely serious. If not treated very soon, Andy will die.

With treatment, he has a good chance of surviving provided he undergoes a very specialized surgery called a Whipple Procedure. This operation is not routine and can only be done by a few hospitals in our country. One of the best is Johns Hopkins Medical Center in Baltimore. Fortunately, Andy has been scheduled for the surgery at Johns Hopkins the second week of May.

Wed Feb-23-05 04:03 PM
Undie writes on DU :
He called me this morning said some more results came back from tissue samples he took during the ERCP. The reason my bile duct collapsed is I apparently have a tumor growing around the bile duct where it passes through my pancreas. The tissue sample was consistent with malignancy it could be benign but I am planning for the worst. I will deal with the outcome the best way I can …snip…. I am scheduled for surgery next week and until then I am on the edge not knowing what it is I am fighting. I may not be posting very much for a while after the surgery...but I will make sure greatauntoftriplets and VelmaD are updated as to my condition. …snip… I hate to ask but if you can donate please help me out. I am gainfully unemployed right now and it does not look like I am gonna be able to work anytime soon.

Sun Feb 27th, 2005 at 19:57:15 PDT Request for financial help posted on a Yahoo group. Undie diagnosed with a tumor on the bile duct.

Mon Feb-28-05 09:01 PM
I went to the Surgeon this AM and he is scheduling me for 3 more tests
but at the current time this is what I know for sure. The bile duct collapsed due to something. Where it collapsed in the pancreas is troubling but could be from at least 4 causes. they are: 1. Tumor of the Pancreas. He said if it is this...then it is less than 1 cm long. He says it is >1 cm because CT scans are accurate up to 1 cm. With the questionable pathology report this is looking more like the cause. He did say it is small and therefore...likely very treatable. If in fact this is the problem, and barring anything unforeseen I should be OK. The Dr is scheduling me for a Endoscopic Ultra Sound to look at the pancreas in much finer detail. So I am at least 1 step more away from surgery 2. Scarring of the duct due to pancreatitis I am dubious on this one as I have not had any infection that I have not been aware of, and, the pathology reports do not bear out this diagnosis. 3. Gall bladder disease. This IMHO would be the best one of all since it would merely mean the removal of my gall bladder. Unfortunately the pathology does not indicate that this is the problem either. 4. Finally Sarcoidosis...since there is a family history of this it could be the cause. He is going to run a few more tests for this as well as a fasting glucose tolerance test to make certain that I am not diabetic. So there you have it. Sort of a mixed bag, certainly not the definitive answer I wanted but I feel far more confident than I did as of Friday. Certainly if it is any of the above it sounds far more treatable than I was thinking. So ya'lls prayers helped. I am convinced of it. I should have a bit more news as the week progresses and I imagine that I will have a full diagnosis and treatment regimen by Friday. Mar 22 Undie names his 'tumor' Bev **Undefined Link

Mar 23 Undie posts his biopsy has been done. http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x3325922

Apr 8 -10 Undie in Nashville for a seminar

Apr 27: Undie posts that he’ll be in Columbus, OH from May 6-8 http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=104&topic_id=3551008

Apr-28-05 04:41 PM Sfexpat2000 starts the fund-raiser for Undie. One of our DUers was able, through her wonderfulness, to get Andy into Johns Hopkins. The surgery is set for early the second week of May. This is the best venue for Andy and it's nothing short of miraculous that we've gotten this far. While we're working to see if we can get a fee reduction, as of this minute, they want $25K up front. I wrestled with the finance department and that's the best deal I could get. I need to check back in with the hospital TOMORROW. http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x3561640

So, the clock is ticking and I need to raise this money. Andy's surgery cannot be put off.

April 29th, 2005 at 3:00 pm
Apr 30, 2005 7:37 pm William Rivers Pitt says Andy was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer 'several weeks ago' and 'to date Andy's friends have raised about $7,000'....the hospital requires a $25,000 down-payment before they assent to doing the Whipple, and requires another $25,000 once the procedure is done. They are expecting the down-payment immediately. Andy Stephenson does not have health insurance

May 1 Thomas Leavitt’s blog: ‘In less than three full days, via a posting on D.U. and postings to email lists and blogs, his friends have managed to raise $20,000 to pay for his surgery. **Undefined Link

May 1st, 2005 at 09:50:12 PDTdragonslayer: You may remember Andy Stephenson from his primary run for Washington Secretary of State. You may also know Andy from his work on Black Box Voting and electronic voting issues. Andy has been a leading advocate for electronic voting reform, and is personally responsible for much of the attention this cause has received. Andy has been diagnosed with a cancerous tumor on his pancreas, and requires surgery, which will be performed the second week of May. Because of Andy's sacrifice for the cause of electronic voting reform, he does not have health insurance and is unable to cover the costs of this surgery. Andy is at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore, and they require $25,000 upfront to schedule this surgery. As of this writing, Beth Ferrari has negotiated with Johns Hopkins to schedule the surgery if we can provide $15,000 this Monday, May 2, and $10,000 soon thereafter. The entire surgery is slated to cost $50,000. Beth has done amazing work in negotiating with Johns Hopkins.

May 2, 2005 11:54
May 2nd, 2005 at 11:26:24 PDT
Ray Minchew : Just got the word this afternoon. The fundraising done here at PDA, and especially over on DemocraticUnderground.com, hit the $25,000 mark today

May 2 3.16pm Andy Stephenson on PDA, thanks his donors **Undefined Link

May 2 2005 3:45 am UPDATE FOR ANDY we Need $1759.37. to reach goal for this morning of $25,000.00 so Beth can work with John Hopkins for Andy Stephenson. It is 5:40 a.m. central time and we are almost at this mornings goal. Later we will have to work out the other $25,000.00 **Undefined Link

May 26.12 pm marilyn aka hiley updates the fundraising ‘The last tally we have posted is $27,104.63 just since Thursday afternoon **Undefined Link

Baltimore:

May 4 7.42 am Cherisse Luxa on PDA updates ‘Today the total raised hit $30,000. Andy is in Baltimore and will be meeting with the doctor at Johns Hopkins tomorrow. His surgery is scheduled for Tuesday. We MUST get the rest of the money raised by then **Undefined Link

May 4th, 2005 17:52:48 PDT Undie lands in Baltimore

2005-05-05 14:49:29Last tally for Andy's fund is $30,602.00 ....He is in Baltimore now for the 'Whipple' surgery at John Hopkins.

May 5 Undie allegedly visits w/ the doctor **Undefined Link

May 5 Cashier's Check for $25k is issued from WA state **Undefined Link

May 5 Undie flies to Columbus after Doctors Apt @ JH **Undefined Link

Ohio:

May 6 Undie flies to OH -> This is INCORRECT, WHY? **Undefined Link

May 6 Cashier's Check for $7k is issued from WA state **Undefined Link

May 6Sfexpat2000 announces just over $32k is raised **Undefined Link

May 7 Undie is in Ohio @ the DU meetup

May 7th, 2005 7:00 PM The first of many Central Ohio DU meetups will be at 5pm on May 7th 2005. We'll feature Mr. Andy Stephenson, the most valuable asset in fighting vote fraud in the United States as well as Ohio's 15th District Democratic candidate Mark Losey. Mark will be the man who'll unseat the Evil Debra Pryce. Goodboy, Andy Stephenson, and soon to be Congressman Mark Losey are all eager to meet our great Central Ohio DU'ers. The Meetup will take place at Houlihan's Restaurant and Bar in Dublin OH. 3580 W Dublin Granville Rd, Columbus, 43235 - (614) 932-9090

May 7: at 12.42 pm KyndCulture (who doesn’t know Undie personally) on the Randi Rhodes board posts the fundraiser including the claim that by May 7 at 9am $34,000 had been raised.

May 7: at 1.49 pm KyndCulture posts that Beth Ferrari is talking to JH

May 7, Columbus, Ohio
Photo: http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y14/fredgrady/andyliberalnursemeganmonkey.jpg

May 8: Meet w/ some more DUmmies

May 9 Flew from Ohio back to Baltimore **Undefined Link

Baltimore:

May 9 "Bowel flush" **Undefined Link

May 10 Scheduled surgery date **Undefined Link

May 10 Undie posts that Skinner has info to verify things **Undefined Link

May 11 8:00AM Undie got the puppy, and posted those silly pictures. **Undefined Link

May 11: 10:41 AM Undie Exam date as stated on 'Diagnostic sheet'

May 11: 12 Noon Undie posts that JH has been paid **Undefined Link

May 11: 1:02 PM Undie's results are completed **Undefined Link

May 11: 8 PM Undie posts that he wrote a "hot check" http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y230/KJC1/AndyDUDeletedPost.jpg

May 12: 1:59 PM Undie posts "Diagnostic Sheets" http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x3644906 (Original images have been removed, image saved by others to be added)

May 12: 2:09 PM Undie posts "Cashier's Checks" http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=104&topic_id=3645000&mesg_id=3645000 (Original images have been removed, image saved by others to be added)

May 6 or 7 "termite" mails checks to JH - undetermined exact date - per Undie himself **Undefined Link

May-15-05 04:58 PM JH Has the money...
The surgery is paid for...just awaiting my date with the knife. I might add if you had been here just a couple of days ago...all doubt was dispelled in regards to my condition.

Sun May-15-05 05:15 PM Andy is staying with me in Baltimore-Miss Waverly

Last week there were setbacks that delayed his surgery, when Andy arrived last Monday in Baltimore, the check that he sent registered mail to Hopkins could not be found, so they canceled the surgery, we tracked the check down by the next morning but it was too late by then to do any good, but it turns out that the surgery could not have be done Tuesday anyway because Andy needed a super duper test first, well billing now has the certified check, he has had his preliminary test and surgery is now scheduled for May 26th, they will try and move up the date (Andy is now on standby & will move up if there is an opening.) The problem is that more money is needed, the extra test was $1600 and the doctor bill will be another $7000. You guys know me I've been posting here since last November. This is legit, Andy really is ill and these are real charges.

Sun May-15-05 05:01 PM Last week I met Andy for the first time. ... But I saw a different Andy Stephenson yesterday. ....Andy wanted Termite to meet bettyellen so Andy, Termite, Stephanie and I boarded the Path Train for a trip to Hoboken

But it isn't just DU involved here. There are numerous other websites involved.

Yes, and note well how the fundraising is being framed. The appeal is based on Andy having been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and needing surgery to save his life!

I just now Googled these two terms: +"andy stephenson" +"pancreatic cancer"
And even after excluding the terms freerepublic and dummiefunnies, I still got about 180 results! Listen to some typical appeals:

Progressive Democrats of America, April 29, William Rivers Pitt:
Several weeks ago, Andy was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

Daily Kos, May 1, Ray Minchew:
Andy has been diagnosed with a cancerous tumor on his pancreas. . . .

OpEdNews.com, May 1, Thom Hartman:
Save Andy - And Save America, Too! . . . And now his friends are passing the hat to help pay for surgery to save him from pancreatic cancer.

Bravo, Thom, by sfexpat2000. Submitted on 2005-05-04 22:28:29, Elizabeth Ferrari says:
I'm Beth Ferrari and am trying to manaage Andy's fund. . . . Today Andy needs our help. And that has to be my focus. I hope your readers will help us with this life saving surgery.

This article is helping Andy, by hiley. Submitted on 2005-05-05 14:49:29, marilyn conner says:
If you can donate please do and know it is greatly appreciated and needed to save Andy's life.

Truthout, May 3, William Rivers Pitt:
A few weeks ago, Andy was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, one of the more dangerous varieties of the disease.

The Rachel Maddow Show, Rachel Maddow, May 4:
Andy Stephenson, electronic voting activist par excellence, is seriously ill with pancreatic cancer.

The Randi Rhodes Show, May 7, Lisa (KyndCulture, RRMB Administrator):
Anyway, earlier this year Andy was diagosed with the most serious form of pancreatic cancer and he needs a very special surgery to save his life.

The Al Franken Show, May 9, Ben Wikler:
Andy Stephenson, a Washington grassroots electoral reform activist, has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. . . .

votePA, Marybeth Kuznik:
URGENT, URGENT URGENT! PLEASE HELP OUR FRIEND ANDY STEPHENSON WIN AGAINST PANCREATIC CANCER! PLEASE HELP SAVE MY FRIEND ANDY STEPHENSON . . . Ultimately his test results showed that he has pancreatic cancer. Andy's cancer has been caught early, but any cancer of the pancreas is extremely serious. If not treated very soon, Andy will die.

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