DUmmie FUnnies 05-10-05 ("Karl Rove has failed the Republican Party")

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | May 10, 2005 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

[PJ-Comix]

If there is one person who is considered a Boogyman by the denizens of the nether regions of Dummieland, it is none other than Karl Rove. Until now they have assigned Rove mystical powers of political manipulation and intrigue. In moments of honesty, they even wish they had such a political genius on their side. Therefore, I found it strange to see this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Karl Rove has failed the Republican Party.” Uh, yeah sure. And we could use a few more of such Karl Rove “failures.” Therefore let us view this new amusing DUmmie proposition blared out in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wishing that I had a Karl Rove on my team to propose my DUmmie FUnnies book (with CD-ROM insert for related comix stories) deal to Mary Matalin, is in the [brackets]:

Karl Rove has failed the Republican Party.

[Delusional statement of the year but continue with the laughs, DUmmie writer…]

Here's a man who relies on the quick fix for a quick victory, yet fails to plan long-term. Actually, the way he maneuvers elections resembles someone who cares very little for the RNC and more for his personal scoreboard. He's like shopping at Target: a shiny vase for your mantle that looks nice for a few months, yet cracks not too soon later. He barks loudly, but this dog has been castrated. Weak. Only a few bites to his record. His personal attacks speak of his shallow ego.

[Only a few “bites” like electoral victories in 2000, 2002, and 2004. But continue with your standup routine, DUmmie writer…]

This man is merely a political misfit. Callow. Yellow. He barely won two national elections. At this point he is no threat to anyone but himself. Let the fool fall on his own sword.

[2004 election was not a barely won election but I bet you DUmmies are desperate for ANY kind of win such as the stolen gubernatorial win in Washington state. Anyway, if Karl Rove is no threat to you guys, I guess you can just relax and rest upon your electoral laurels…uh, I mean weeds.]

that's 2 more than us...he is still a threat

[And DUmmie Harpo wins a Kewpie doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity!]

The guy barely won.

His wins were more happenstance than victories. There was no real "electioneering" here. Just gay sex and the ghost of 9/11. The man can't win fairly because the man doesn't have the right picnic equipment to do so. His mind is as emasculate as the rest of him. We will win in 2006, because just as Bush is fading, Karl is fading. His days will soon be over.

[Thanx, DUmmie writer for your excellent attempt at lulling the DUmmies into a state of false confidence. We will remember you when Road Runner Rove once again goes “BEEP! BEEP!” while leaving the DUmmie Coyote in the dust.]

I would disagree again...you only have to barely win, the edge is who...has a great closing game as in chess. Some people are great openers, some are great middle game people, and some are great closers! I think Rove has 2 of the 3 mastered at this point.

[And Rove is great at doing a #3.]

No. It means that Karl Rove has dumped the pieces off the chessboard because he can't win fairly. He never has won fairly. He doesn't know how to win fairly. He is weak, and quite frankly, I'm not all that impressed with his tiny little "victories." They have no longevity beyond 2004. The man is a gelding.

[Keep pushing that theme DUmmie writer. It is all part of Karl Rove’s Master Plan.]

that dog still has balls and he's going to be using them well into 2008. Rove is one of the best and most dangerous political minds of this generation. he's not someone to be taken lightly

[No. No. Listen to DUmmie writer. You have nothing to worry about from Karl Rove. The next election will be so easy for you that you can sleepwalk to victory.]

The dog only bites balls because he doesn't have the brains to win fairly. Before Bush, what were Karl's successes? None. This weak politician barely won two elections for Bush. He's nothing. In 10 years, he will be a nobody. And that's how we should view him.

[“Has-Been” Rove is so ineffective that he is only picking your next nominee in ‘08---Hillary.]

He barely won two national elections......stole both

[ALL your Diebolds belong to Rove!]

They weren't exactly overwhelming victories, were they? Bush slipped from 80% approval ratings to just below 50% before his so-called "reelection." That's Karl's handiwork. Had he played his cards straight, Bush would have maintained better standings and a more assured victory. His near wins are signs of weak strategy. Karl spends his time chasing his own tail. Don't believe the hype.

[Okay DUmmie writer. I just have to ask this: Are you a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL???]

Underestimating Rove is Like Underestimating Ghengis Khan. Rove is tough, he practices politics like the USC Trojans run their ground game -- tough, fast, strong, and right into the opposition's teeth. Rove's strategy of running right at the opposing candidate's strength is "smash mouth" -- ideal for college football metaphors. It takes nerve, toughness, balls and time in the weight room. The old college football saw: "Passing teams compete for bowl games. Running teams compete for the National Championship." Rove's got two National Championships now. He'll be back with a new team next time, and he ain't changing his playbook.

[Correction: Underestimating Rove is like underestimating Chimpus Khan.]

Rove's Championships are built on a house of cards. 9/11 and gay sex. And neither championship was decisive. He is a weak political player who is fading into obscurity along with Bush. This castrated dog is all bark.

[Listen to DUmmie writer. Remember, you folks have Mary Beth Cahill on your team. You can’t go wrong with her. Oh, and don’t forget about Bob Shrum. The guy is UNBEATABLE!]

Karl Rove's electioneering has no longevity. He's fading away faster than Bush can say "Karlyouhavenoballs." A couple of near wins based on 9/11 and gay sex is weak, ephemeral strategy.

[Great lullaby tune there DUmmie writer:
Go to sleep.
Go to sleep, little DUmmies.
Have no fears.
Baddie Karl is not near.]

By the way, occasionally we see a gifted roll-out passer from the Southeast Conference, like Jim Carville. Where is he now, when we need him most?

[Hopefully Carville is whispering into his wife’s ear that the DUmmie FUnnies book (with CD-ROM insert for related comix stories) would be a HUGE bestseller.]

Karl Rove is not successful. Karl Rove wouldn't be successful without 9/11. And even with that event, he barely won reelection for Bush. That's sad and pathetic.

[I bet Kerry wishes to hell that he barely won.]

Bill Clinton never could have won in 2004. Never. But... he just might win again in 2008.

[They can add a new constitutional amendment in that brief time?]

You Mean Hillary? I love her too, but I don't think she'll ever be president.

[Which Karl Rove well knows which is why he will be making Hillary your ’08 nominee.]

Might be Hillary, might be someone else...But only these dark times have permitted Karl any sense of "victory." Otherwise, he's meaningless. WE WILL WIN AGAIN!

[No “might” about it. Your nominee, chosen by Karl Rove, WILL be Hillary which is why YOU WON’T WIN AGAIN!]

The man he works for has had two of the most ideologically successful presidencies since Kennedy, or even FDR. To use a corporate simile, he has successfully marketed the Republican brand, including spokesman George W. Bush, to the American people, et al.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Eventually, we know both Rove and the RW will overplay their hands. But what a DISGUSTING FASCIST DARK ERA until the pendulum swings back!

[There is NO escape from the Perfect Rovian Storm!]

He is enemy #1. He is the one who plans on being around for the next 20 years. If he can convince us to ignore him..then 'his guy' can get election (by a squeak) again. They will just replace George with jeb or with McCain or Arnold. Bush is a lame duck. Rove is not. We should keep Rove front and centre. Rove is dangerous. He got a shallow, prissy, dyslexic, businessly incapable of success, asshole elected president once. And he got this same lame-ass the presidency the first time by judicial activism. If he did it once, he can do it again. He is the master - architect. Remember how everyone had to bow down to him after the last election?

[BOW before the might of our Dark Lord Rove!]

Don’t underestimate the Drunken Monkey. Bush is the drunken monkey, and Rove’s guidance over the years is largely responsible for that. You laugh at his stumbling swipes until he starts to strike you and break your bones. The biggest mistake one can make is underestimating this political machine. Appearance aside they are smarter than you are, more dedicated, more resourceful and better connected. They have every advantage. And you forget that Rove’s history is much longer than the last two elections. Politics is not a vacuum, and Texas politics is a real contact sport. Do you think for a moment if Rove was such a lightweight he would have been able to get Bush the governorship from the popular Ann Richards? Even considering the last two elections, you are leaving out some of Rove’s sharpest skills. Think about the brutal primary fight with John McCain. Or the Swift boat attack ads of the previous election. Rove goes after an opponent’s strength, not weakness. This is disorienting even to skilled politicians (it totally immobilized the Kerry campaign for a time) and he makes his opponents afraid to differentiate themselves or bring party stars forward. It actually stunts the growth of democratic opposition. This is why, with rare exceptions, Democrats seem shrunken in stature to Republicans in the passion of their stance on issues or ideology in many elections. The point you are missing is that sometimes, simple and brutal works fine. He’s capable of more, of course, as his political career has shown over the years, but he’s got no problem with using the right tool for the job even if it’s a club with a nail in it. Sizing up the current political landscape, it seems he was right.

[The Drunken Monkey and our Dark Lord Rove thank you for that moving tribute. Don’t forget to stand in awe of the Mighty Rove’s powers in ’08 when he chooses YOUR nominee---Hillary.]

Rove is pathetic, in my opinion. Either we decide that he's a genius and weaken at the knees at his alleged "gift," or we see him for what he is - a small man on stilts.

[Believe in the latter…at your own risk.]

[nina0113]

He barely won two national elections.

Something about this line jsut kills me.

[BJClinton]

the popular Ann Richards?

I had to chuckle at that, too. She narrowly beat Clayton "Relax and Enjoy It" Williams. Maybe if she had put the bottle down long enough she would've been able to look at how corrupt her Texas Dixiecrats had become. (That was not a slight to bourbon or beer).

[rockthecasbah]

"Rove is tough, he practices politics like the USC Trojans run their ground game -- tough, fast, strong, and right into the opposition's teeth. Rove's strategy of running right at the opposing candidate's strength is "smash mouth" -- ideal for college football metaphors. It takes nerve, toughness, balls and time in the weight room. The old college football saw: "Passing teams compete for bowl games. Running teams compete for the National Championship." Rove's got two National Championships now. He'll be back with a new team next time, and he ain't changing his playbook."

As a USC alumni and conservative voter, I'm just glad that Pete Carrol and Karl Rove are on my side!

[Choose Ye This Day]

A likely story, happens all the time:

ANDY'S SURGERY HAS BEEN CANCELLED FOR TODAY....


He arrived at the hospital this morning and was told that they had not received the checks and that the surgery was cancelled. After raising holy hell and traipsing around Johns Hopkins, Andy learned that the checks were on the mailroom supervisor's desk at 11:45 yesterday morning, but were not sent to Financial Services. The checks were marked for Financial Services and had Andy's name and patient ID number on it.

He now has to talk to the doctor to find out when it is rescheduled.

As he says, a simple phone call would have resolved this and he would be in surgery right this minute.

[Welsh Rabbit]

Rove's Championships are built on a house of cards.

Whatever gets you through the night, loser...

[Choose Ye This Day]

I just love to hear the sound of DUmmies' heads exploding:


qanda (1000+ posts) Tue May-10-05 03:13 PM
Response to Reply #84

123. I just called and it the lady said "IT"S A HOAX!"


I have no reason to lie. I have been a part of this community for over three years and now I am concerned that the greatest hoax ever has been perpetrated on DUers.

Call the number yourself. Here's a web address with the number on it http://pathology2.jhu.edu/pancreas/cameron.cfm

Now I see why certain DUers didn't want others to call Johns Hopkins. SHAME, SHAME, SHAME!!!!!

[Calusa]

Supposedly there was some sort of technical mixup in the Johns Hopkins mailroom.

You don't suppose this has anything to do with the DUmmies newfound intense fixation on genital mutilation.

[KC_Conspirator]

Here's a man who relies on the quick fix for a quick victory, yet fails to plan long-term.

Oh how inept this statement is! I would have to say that the long term GOP planning is pretty good. Its the democrats of the 90's that relied on the MSM and Bill Klinton that went for short term victories and now its hurting them.

Despite how mediocre the GOP is doing now, its posts like this that assure me that the democrats STILL don't get why they lost and that I can count on them to make stupid mistakes and implode by next election.

[PJ-Comix]

Please post the DUmmie Link. PLEASE!

[kevkrom]

I am concerned that the greatest hoax ever has been perpetrated on DUers

Funny, I thought John Kerry was the greatest hoax ever perpetrated on DU...

[zbigreddogz]

Well this Republican hopes that Rove keeps 'Failing' us again and again.

If we keep 'failing' like this, there won't be a democrat this side of the atlantic.

[zbigreddogz]

She was popular at the time. Bush won 51.5-48.5. His 1994 victory was a major upset, which just goes to prove Rove's brilliance.

[PJ-Comix]

Add me to the list. That way you can get away from that number.

I was sort of fond of that Satanic number BUT... Welcome aboard, PINGEE #667.

[whereasandsoforth]

"She was popular at the time. Bush won 51.5-48.5. His 1994 victory was a major upset, which just goes to prove Rove's brilliance."

No, Ann was not popular here in Texas. She was popular in Hollywood and Boston and washington D.C., but not here. She was a female political dog that screwed the pooch with her "Robin Hood" plan. 51.5% vs. 48.5% is quite a landslide in political terms.

Believe me, I voted for Annie the first go around. It remains the one and only time I voted for a democrat in my life. There were a lot of folks like me when she was elected. Nobody, not even Ann herself, expected a second term out of the situation. She left office a very unpopular governor. She later proved to be equally unpopular on the national stage. "Poor Ann. She cain't help it. She was born with a silver flask in her mouth!" (She was a classless B*tch to boot!)

[JLO]

Thread seems locked. But I copied this first.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x3629008#3629445

MrNiceGuyDied (72 posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Tue May-10-05 11:30 AM
Response to Reply #112
157. you guys are like



Bush supporter when questioned about WMD.

I'm not some nobody.

And i already said 18 of the 20 calls to jh did get the hippa reaction.

So I started calling pretending to be the friend of an uninsured, out of state patient looking for all the options for my dying friend.

I'll diary about that later.

For now I’ll post a letter I sent to a Lawyer at JH.

....

Hi Dan,

Thanks for replying.

Briefly I'd like to explain why I called in the first place. Over the
past couple of years Andy Stephenson has been involved in a few
questionable donation drives that ended rather badly. In the past six
months I've received no less than 40 emails from Andy, or one of his
agents, soliciting donations for everything from lawyer fees,
unemployment relief, to medical tests.

This week the request took a rather shocking turn when the pleas for
money stated the were to receive cancer treatment.

Now if Andy in fact does require this treatment I'm not the type of
person that would try and hamper those efforts. However, there have
been several claims made that just don't quite add up.

As you will see in the links provided it has been made clear that
Johns Hopkins is the only hospital that can do the procedure and due
to his financial situation he must pay the hospital 25 thousand
dollars up front to schedule the surgery. The remaining 25 thousand is
apparently due before the surgery or shortly there after. This part is
not clear.

What I find disturbing is how the five main people collecting the
money will drag the good name of Johns Hopkins through the mud in
order to get people to feel sorry for Andy and fork over their hard
earned money fighting the soulless hospital administration.

Several people in the DailyKos links I have provided describe a much
different hospital system than the stereotypical impression, one often
promoted in the media, that Andy's donation crew repeat in every plea
they send out.

If Andy can get adequate treatment in his home state of Washington
then I think the methods being used to collect the money verge on
fraud. But I'm not a lawyer or law enforcement member.

To make a short story long. Had Andy said…

"I'm very sick, the local cancer hospital says my chances of survival
are 50-50 but Johns Hopkins has a treatment that will cost 20 thousand
dollars more but increase my odds to 70-30"

I think his friends and supporters would still have come up with the money.

Instead he has allowed Johns Hopkins to look like a greedy heartless
corporation without ever disclosing any alternative options.

I'm sure Johns Hopkins fundraises from the progressive community from
time to time and I think this kind of behavior hurts the reputation of
your institution and may hamper future fundraising efforts.

So, that's the reason for my concern. Please see below the links to
just some of the sites asking for donations.

The DailyKos for example has US senators posting on it and receives
half a million hits a day.

If I thought these pleas for money were limited to fringe site with
not much traffic I might not care. But considering the reach of these
sites I had to get in touch.

Thank you for your time.

Steve

Here is a typical comment from the threads.....

"I just sent some money. Not much, but I'm amazed that John Hopkins
has gotten to the point where they are asking for upfront money on a
$50,000 life saving surgery.Goddamn, I'm angry.

The notion that John Hopkins is demanding 50% down for life saving
surgery makes my fucking blood boil. I wonder how much they charge for
the same surgery to a Health Insurance company? Usually hospitals
charge the uninsured 2-3x the rate charged insurance companies."

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.ph...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.ph...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.ph...

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2005/5/2/142624/0814

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2005/5/1/125012/8506

http://www.democracyforwashington.com /

http://www.seattlefordean.com /

http://shireen.forclark.com/story/2005/4/30/231124/276

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MoveOnPgh/message/1649

http://blog.pdamerica.org/?p=22

http://www.votepa.us /

http://www.seo-blog.org/5755_omfg_rageagainstthegop_mac...

[PJ-Comix]

FLASH!!!

I just checked that DUmmie Thread. It's been locked. However, after MrNiceGuyDied revealed the Undie scam he also challenged his fellow DUmmies to call Johns Hopkins themselves to find out if it was a scam or not. None of the DUmmies would take up that challenge....until finally one did call. Here is that DUmmie's post:

I just called and it the lady said "IT"S A HOAX!"

I have no reason to lie. I have been a part of this community for over three years and now I am concerned that the greatest hoax ever has been perpetrated on DUers.

Call the number yourself. Here's a web address with the number on it http://pathology2.jhu.edu/pancreas/cameron.cfm

Now I see why certain DUers didn't want others to call Johns Hopkins. SHAME, SHAME, SHAME!!!!!

[G32]

Looks like they got taken for yet another big ride.
From Skinner:


http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x3630009

---

IMPORTANT MESSAGE ABOUT ANDY STEPHENSON (2nd try)

---

I am instructing the moderators to lock all threads relating to Andy Stephenson.

I will post more on this topic shortly. Until then, you are not permitted to start any more threads on this topic.

Thank you for your understanding.

Skinner
DU Admin

AND NO FINGER-POINTING OR FLAMING IN THIS THREAD! PERIOD.

[kevkrom]

How long until Andy is declared an "unperson" a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL?

[franksolich]

You got that all wrong, sir.

The felonious DUmmie Andy Stephenson is a creation of Karl Rove.

Naturally.