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DUmmie FUnnies 02-25-05 ("BREAKING: Kerry/Edwards File More Ohio Election Motions!!!")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | February 25, 2005 | Pied Piper Pitt, DUmmies, and PJ-Comix

Posted on 02/25/2005 5:50:31 AM PST by PJ-Comix

William Rivers Pitt has pulled out his magic flute and is fooling the DUmmies once again with his election fraud tune. If this sounds like Déjà vu all over again, it is because Pied Piper Pitt has played this same tune many times before in order to puff himself up with his manufactured self-importance with yet another election “scoop” that means less than nothing. The only thing that makes this latest self-puffery slightly more amusing than the rest is that it is being played by Pied Piper Pitt over a month AFTER the inauguration. You can hear Pied Piper’s Pitt’s latest tune being played for your amusement on this DUmmie THREAD breathlessly titled, “BREAKING: Kerry/Edwards File More Ohio Election Motions!!!” So what’s all the hoopla really about? YAWN! Nothing more than some obscure legal motion where a couple of the minor league candidates filed a statement on something called a legal transfer and, OH YEAH, Kerry-Edwards (actually their lawyers) filed a document in support of that statement. If you want to pop some No-Doze and read it for yourself you can find it on Pied Piper Pitt’s appropriately named (because all the Truth is Outta there) TRUTHOUT website. As usual the DUmmie rantings and Pied Piper Pitt’s flutings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, struggling to stay awake after being tranquilized by the obscure meaningless legal motions, is in the [brackets]:

BREAKING: Kerry/Edwards File More Ohio Election Motions. The documents have been posted.

[YAWN! Been there. Done that. The only thing even slightly amusing about your recycled act this time, Pied Piper Pitt, is the timing since this “revelation” comes over a month AFTER inauguration.]

Great news. Thanks. I'm going to check it out.

[And don’t forget to take a strong dose of No-Doze. This latest “revelation” by Pied Piper Pitt is like that famous description of Oakland---There’s no there there.]

Hmmm..what do you make of this Will? Seems too little too late, yet why would Kerry have not been pushing harder earlier?

[A little too late? Now why would you have that wild idea?]

john & john said every vote would be counted... on 11/3 & several times after that, so they are making good on their promise. doesn't it make your heart swell in pride that our man never quits, says what he'll do and then does what he says.

[SNIFF! I’ve got a lump in my throat. This obscure legal motion filed by nameless lawyers is going to CHANGE the future course of world events.]

Kerry has been awfully quiet lately. I was just thinking that.

[Don’t you get it? It’s all part of the PLAN. Two years before the election, Kerry PLANNED to lose the election and allow Bush to be inaugurated. Then over a month after the inauguration, it was PLANNED that some of his lawyers would file a minor legal motion in Ohio that would OVERTURN the election. De PLAN, boss, De PLAN!!!]

It was always going to come down to evidence. That is how he worked as a prosecutor to prevent going to court and losing. If he didn't have a preponderance of the evidence he wouldn't have his office prosecute cases needlessly. Whatever comes of this now will be for the good of the country, even though it may not work to Kerry's personal benefit. This is also why they held on to some of the campaign funds.

[Yeah, that 15 million buck campaign fund that wasn’t spent on the campaign was set aside specifically for the purpose of filing a meaningless obscure legal statement in support of someone else’s equally meaningless and obscure legal motion in Ohio.]

This may all work out in the end. Now Shrub's cabinet nominees all lied under oath. And if one card in this house of cards gets taken down by the courts, so go the rest. I really was quite disappointed with Kerry lately, but now I see perhaps he was proceeding cautiously all along. Though I promise not to get too hopeful yet...

[Not me! I’ve broken out the champagne and plan an all night victory party for Kerry. I BELIEEEEEVE!!!]

He has a pattern of sticking with something, for years if he has to. He's still on the BCCI case after all these years, as the people who lost money in that bank take it to court, blasting the Bank of England for not doing more to help those people. It may not be a fast-moving process, but I think we will see these little reports from time to time to let us know he's still on the case. Maybe something will eventually happen, maybe not. I understand your caution, but I can't help but think that they pissed off the wrong fellow. It will be the end of them yet.

[It may not be a fast moving process but the election results will DEFINITELY be overturned in the year 2525…..IF man is still alive.]

I'm PLEASED!! Let's keep the election fraud on the front burner!

[Everybody! KICK this thread. FORM ELECTION FRAUD COMMITTEES! SEND A LEGAL TEAM TO OHIO! INVESTIGATE ALL OBSCURE MEANINGLESS ELECTION DOCUMENTS! HURRY! HURRY! HURRY!]

THE DOCUMENTS HAVE BEEN POSTED

[Thank you, Pied Piper Pitt. I’ve seen them and I am struggling to stay awake.]

Will, about six weeks ago you said things would start brewing in six weeks.

[Six weeks is about the right time frame for Pied Piper Pitt to recycle his old comedy routines. He knows the DUmmies have very short memory spans.]

Thanks Will! This is great news. I was hoping my esteemed junior Senator would keep at it. I'm glad he hasn't given up, even though it will not benefit him personally. (And will be seen as too little too late by many folks, alas.)

[Too little, too late? Where did you get such a crazy idea? These obscure legal motions in Ohio means that we are at the DAWNING OF THE AGE OF AQUARIUS!!!]

And what's the status of the Alliance For Democracy? I know they are getting screwed by a countersuit, but are we to believe they're done? I feel bad for Cliff and all of them, but I wonder if they're still planning to file another suit somewhere. I remember when they withdrew Moss V Bush they promised they were going to continue to collect evidence and file again somewhere else.

[Unfortunately that case gathered too much Moss.]

This is great news. I KNEW that they would keep fighting. They are both OUTSTANDING attorneys.

[May I interest you in the purchase of a certain bridge in Brooklyn?]

I'm telling you, Bushco are NOT going to serve out their term. About 4 major psychics have said so. One in particular, I remember, said that by 2006, Bush would have NO connection with Power.

[FOUR MAJOR PSYCHICS have said this? Well, you just CAN’T argue with that type of expertise.]

I still contend it IS Kerry's destiny to be President (and NOT as late as 2008). How we'll ever get this through the Repug-controlled court system will be a major miracle in itself, but....forever the optimist...fingers crossed!

[I BELIEEEEEEVE!!!]

YoooWhoooo! Thanks Will. Come on Howard fight for the truth!! TALK TO THE HOUSE JUDICIARY DEMS, THEY ARE A CLEARINGHOUSE FOR FRAUD EVIDENCE! Please don't do this to "stifle the left", we've put our time, money, heart and soul into this investigation. We need a leader to take this forward!!!! Great news! Fight on DEMS!

[CREATE YOUR OWN VIRTUAL REALITY!!!]

This spark should keep the fire going. Now let's keep fanning the fire.

[ENTER THE ALTERNATE UNIVERSE!!!]

Edwards would not be still digging if he didn't think he had a case! Thanks Will. I do not believe knowing lawyers, and Edwards winning background they'd be doing this "still" less they had something.

[CHANT THE “ELECTION FRAUD” MANTRA!!!]

don't forget that John Kerry is a lawyer, too. He was a prosecutor and tried 7,000+ cases and won them all as Asst. D.A. If anyone can bring this fraud to light, it's these two sharp guys and their team!

[CONSULT MOTHER GOOSE FOR OUR OWN ALTERNATE REALITY!!!]

I can't f'ing believe it! This is GREAT!!!!

[SHOOT OFF THE VICTORY FIREWORKS!!!]

There has been WAY ample time for the crooks to compromise the programming of the previously compromised central tabulators and voting machines. And just think of all the paper ballots that have surely been "audited" by republican activist thugs. I am VERY glad that the 2-Johns are in on this, but it seems to me the forensic evidence is getting away, or has already gotten away. I'm also curious as to what's still happening in all of the other states that bush stole with his slimey army of thugs.

[KILLJOY! And for splashing cold water on our very solid hopes, you will NOT be invited to Kerry’s Alternate Reality Inauguration party.]

Well, I'll be damned! YIPPEE!!! Thanks for the lift...

[Don’t forget to copy and paste that statement into Notepad so you can use it again and again and again for the many other times that Pied Piper Pitt posts the VERY LATEST “scoops” about obscure Ohio legal motions being filed.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: billypitt; du; dummies; ibelieeeeeeve; willpitt
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To: An Old Marine
I'm filing a suit tomorrow to start the recount on the 1912 Wilson-Taft-Roosevelt election. I can prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that Democrat operative thugs stuffed ballot boxes in 7 states. Teddy Roosevelt won the election fiar and square!

Let's exhume Teddy and stick him in the Oval Office!

We can tell what his orders will be thusly: If he decays more on the left side then the right, we'll scrap SS privatization. If more on the right than the left, we'll push SS privatization.

If his left arm falls off, we'll try for an Assault Weapons ban renewel. If his right arm falls off, we won't.

If his head falls off and rolls to the right, we'll support Israel. To the left, and we'll cut funding.

TEDDY BACK IN OFFICE! NO JUSTICE, NO PEACE! LET EVERY COUNT VOTE!

21 posted on 02/25/2005 6:19:25 AM PST by Lazamataz (Proudly Posting Without Reading the Article Since 1999!)
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To: Lazamataz

"I'm starting to seriously wonder if Pitt isn't secretly on our side."


Same here. It seems almost too obvious to be real. The pied piper leading the rats to their doom.


22 posted on 02/25/2005 6:19:51 AM PST by cripplecreek (The crippled stool is the cadillac of poopin stools.)
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To: PJ-Comix
I am very glad that these people our our opponents, they are incredibly dumb and insanely delusional, they cannot win any election ever again, it is just an impossibility.
23 posted on 02/25/2005 6:21:39 AM PST by jveritas
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To: PJ-Comix

This is just getting sad now


24 posted on 02/25/2005 6:21:40 AM PST by CzarNicky (The problem with bad ideas is that they seemed like good ideas at the time.)
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To: cripplecreek
Same here. It seems almost too obvious to be real. The pied piper leading the rats to their doom.

It would have been even better if he had called himself William Rivers Piper.

25 posted on 02/25/2005 6:21:58 AM PST by Lazamataz (Proudly Posting Without Reading the Article Since 1999!)
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To: PJ-Comix
He's still on the BCCI case

Hmmmm...

In short, Kerry chased every Republican will-o'-the-wisp, but only stumbled over BCCI. And when a continued investigation treatened his own party, he began to go slow. This would explain his readiness to drop an investigation that he had originally hoped would make his name, just when it was finally on point of coming up with the goods.

But there is also evidence that the fall of BCCI would have hurt Kerry's career directly. Clark Clifford, Robert Altman, and another law partner donated $4,000 to Senator Kerry and $1,000 to Senator Pell in early 1989--long after Clifford visited Kerry as BCCI's lawyear-lobbyist, long after Kerry had heard of the secret links between Clifford and BCCI. Insight's Eric Felton makes the additional point that Senator Kerry's impropriety-- receiving a donation from someone under suspicion in his own investigating--cannot be put down to botched staff communications: Kerry met Clifford at the fundraising party Pamela Harriman threw to kick off his 1989--90 re-election campaign, so he was presumably alerted to the possibility of a contribution.

Moreover, for the 1987-88 election cycle Kerry served as Chairman of the Democratic Senational Campaign Committee (DSCC), the Senate Democrats' very own political-action committee. In that capacity, he appointed David L. Paul, the head of CenTrust, a high-flying Florida savings and loan, as head of the DSCC's Majority Trust--the private-sector "partner" who could deliver the money.

CenTrust donated hundreds of thousands of dollars to Democrats in PAC money alone. In addition, I have discovered that the "non-political" CenTrust Foundation also poured cash into Democratic coffers, including $100,000 to the now notorious (Jimmy) Carter Center (of which $50,000 came from Pharaon and was merely laundered through CenTrust) and $25,000 in 1989 to Senator Alan Cranston's Center for Participation in Democracy, also the prime beneficiary of Cranston's friendship with Charles Keating. Beginning in January 1989, CenTrust also paid $48,000 to DSCC finance chairman Steven Wilson under the heading "overcoming regulatory issues" with federal bank investigators. In January 1989, Wilson donated $1,000 to Senator Kerry.

David Paul was personally very much involved in this largesse. He threw fundraisers for the Democrats on his thrift's $67-million yacht. He gave them free rises on his corporate jet. And, in an event extraordinary even for what Democrats call the Decade of Greed, he invited Senators John Kerry and Wyche Fowler (a Georgia Democrat and another friend of CenTrust) to his December 1988 French Chefs gala dinner, for which six chefs were flows in from Paris to provide a feast costing $123,000--all expenses paid by CenTrust.

So, as a senator running for re-election, John Kerry received donations directly from Clark Clifford, who was a BCCI attorney and former chairman of a bank secretly and illegally owned by BCCI. As chairman of the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee, he raised funds in close cooperation with David Paul, whose thrift was deeply enmeshed with BCCI. As a subcommittee chairman, Kerry proved dilatory in following up indications that BCCI was an international rogue.

Senator Kerry is an extremely luckly man. If he were a Republican, all this might amount to a scandal.

National Review

26 posted on 02/25/2005 6:22:08 AM PST by ravingnutter
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To: mondonico
Very funny. Question for you, in your capacity as a DUmmie-ologist: Have they anywhere addressed the REAL investigation of REAL fraud in Milwaukee and the rest of Wisconsin (which included slashing the tires of GOP GOTV vans on the morning of election day, and thousands of "voters" registered as living on billboards, in vacant lots, etc.)? Kerry "won" that state by only a few thousand votes.

DemonCrap Election Law # 1762: "It's only fraud when Republicans do it."

27 posted on 02/25/2005 6:22:58 AM PST by Lazamataz (Proudly Posting Without Reading the Article Since 1999!)
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To: Jackson57

Of course it's a scam. Bev Harris bilked these clowns out of thou$ands, and now they're gonna do it again. In 2007, they'll be saying, "Woo Hoo! Yes! I heard that Jean Cheri sneezed today! That's a code for his team to file more election lawsuits! Bush is goin' down!"


28 posted on 02/25/2005 6:23:07 AM PST by TheBigB (Ask cyborg about the doughnuts. But you'll have to wake her up first.)
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To: mondonico

You missed one but don't feel bad everyone else seems to have missed it too.

http://www.nationalreview.com/battleground/battleground.asp


29 posted on 02/25/2005 6:25:11 AM PST by cripplecreek (The crippled stool is the cadillac of poopin stools.)
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To: PJ-Comix

My message to the DUmmies- please, please, please keep talking about this. All the time. To all your friends. The more people that see their lunacy first hand, the easier it is for our side.
Great job DUmmies! Keep belting out the Crazy all the way to the back row!


30 posted on 02/25/2005 6:25:14 AM PST by CSM43 (Spare me your sixth grade Michael Moore logic.)
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To: PJ-Comix

Silly Hippies, W Won! (AGAIN!!)


Someone know how to make that into a bumper sticker?


31 posted on 02/25/2005 6:25:35 AM PST by MikefromOhio (The Civil War is over, how about we quit re-fighting it?)
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To: Lazamataz

I actually think that Pied Piper Pitt posted this DUmmie thread KNOWING that it is so HILARIOUSLY ridiculous that it would be DUFUed for sure. Why? Because Pied Piper Pitt is so DESPERATE for attention that he wants to be featured on the DUmmie FUnnies since he knows he will be the center of attention again. It sure worked, Pitt. I fell for your scheme hook, line, and sinker. Most likely I will fall for more of Pitt's purposely ridiculous DUmmie posts in the future. I'll fall for it every time, Pitt!


32 posted on 02/25/2005 6:26:07 AM PST by PJ-Comix ( Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: Lazamataz

If Jeff Kleinman of the Graybill and English Literary Agency ever gets around to contacting me about a DUmmie FUnnies book, I have an idea for a great animated graphic for the CD-ROM insert featuring Pied Piper Pitt playing his flute as the DUmmie lemmings go over the cliff. Any suggestions for the flute tune? Maybe the theme tune from "The Sting." However, I am open to other suggestions.


33 posted on 02/25/2005 6:30:57 AM PST by PJ-Comix ( Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix
LOL! Prolly. Some people enjoy pushing their opponents buttons, and WRP may be doing this here.

I know, personally, I played to another forum (read: series of rapidly closed forums) for a full two, maybe three years. I wrote the most OBJECTIONABLE and OUTRAGEOUS posts I could , playing into EVERY one of their LazamaMyths, to bait the AntiFreepers. While I will still post outrageously, I won't be bothering to bait them any more.

But it was a fun several-year run. And don't they feel like idiots. :o)

(Actually, the last time I looked at their cesspit, they were desperately trying to rationalize and explain away their idiocy....and were fresh into NEW myth-making.... now I'm a sexual SUBMISSIVE....LOL... if they only knew the truth....)

34 posted on 02/25/2005 6:31:40 AM PST by Lazamataz (Proudly Posting Without Reading the Article Since 1999!)
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To: MadIvan

Wow these guys are really tin-foil hat types.They really believe that Kerry is destined to be placed in office? Man talking about denile.


35 posted on 02/25/2005 6:32:48 AM PST by Holicheese (This is Hockey East)
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To: MadIvan
These fools had better get used to drinking from the bitter cup of disappointment.

Then again..."They'll always have Guyana"...I think the national drink is still CoolAid...

36 posted on 02/25/2005 6:33:27 AM PST by cbkaty
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To: TheBigB

Thanks, I was starting to feel cynical for a minute. I have to tear myself away from DU because I always run through too many emotions (don't want to sound too sensitive here). I alternate between feeling downright sad for these people who look at EVERYTHING as an assault on THEIR civil rights/persuit of happiness/democracy/way of life/etc. and feeling extremely angry about their complete ingratitude for the things that they DO have. All the while vilifying the people (military, civil authorities, government) who make it possible for them to sit in their basements spewing their nonsense. I also feel extremely insulted by them because of their holier than thou/smarter than thou/more entitled than thou attitude about pretty much everything. Ok ... I'll stop ranting. I'm starting to foam at the mouth and am feeling like a protest ... damn, I'm channeling Faye.


37 posted on 02/25/2005 6:33:57 AM PST by Jackson57
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To: PJ-Comix
I'm telling you, Bushco are NOT going to serve out their term. About 4 major psychics have said so. One in particular, I remember, said that by 2006, Bush would have NO connection with Power.


38 posted on 02/25/2005 6:34:40 AM PST by killjoy (Real Men Love Bush)
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To: cripplecreek

I think I should allow Pied Piper Pitt to write a Foreword to the DUmmie FUnnies book. Up to 4 pages unedited. Anything he wants to say. It is bound to be HILARIOUS.


39 posted on 02/25/2005 6:41:03 AM PST by PJ-Comix ( Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix

40 posted on 02/25/2005 6:41:29 AM PST by maggief
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