Pat Sajak: Sharing the U.N. (Very Funny!)

PatSajak.com ^ | February, 2005 | Pat Sajak

[wagglebee]

I like the United Nations. Sure, they’ve got their problems, but what large, multi-leveled bureaucracy doesn’t? And, like those other bureaucracies, it has its good and bad points.

A few billion here or there will occasionally disappear. Folks like the Libyans and the Cubans get to sit in judgment of others’ human rights abuses. Millions are spent on fancy buildings and offices around the world in order to bring help to the planet’s suffering masses. Diplomatic immunity allows a few thousand parking tickets in New York City to go unpaid. Despots and thugs get to share the international stage with actual democratically-elected officials. Countries from all over the world have a forum from which to denounce the United States and/or Israel. And, thanks to the Security Council, France gets to keep pretending it’s important. However, all in all, it seems like a nice place to work.

So don’t count me among those on the Right who want either to do away with the U.N. or at least get the United States out of it. In fact, I think it’s such a swell organization that we are selfish to keep it all to ourselves. Therefore, I propose a rotating U.N. Headquarters. Every, oh, say, four years (like the Olympic Games) the U.N. would move to another nation. There would be some additional expenses, but I suspect member countries would be happy to pony up the costs for the honor of having this prestigious outfit eventually headquartered within their borders.

There are a lot of details to be worked out. Would every country qualify? Would civil war, famine, genocide or political repression prove too difficult? But these are trifling matters. If the United Nations is to be truly an international organization, it must be sure its delegates really get to experience other countries and other cultures. Why should New Yorkers have all the fun and benefits?

The fairest system would be to go alphabetically. That means Afghanistan would have the first chance to be the new host. There would be some embarrassment, I suppose, given the U.N.’s opposition to the United States’ ousting of the Taliban, resulting in free elections in that country. And I’m not sure the Kabul Restaurant Association is quite ready for the expensive and varied tastes of the delegates, though they’ll have a few years to prepare.

The next two hosts, Albania and Algeria, provide their own unique sets of challenges. My guess is that, given the current leadership in those countries, at least the delegates would be more likely to pay their parking fines.

It would be sad to see the U.N. moving out of the United States in 2008. But take heart. Depending on how many countries want to host the organization in the meantime, it could be back in just a few hundred years. Alphabetically, that would place us right after the United Arab Emirates.

[wagglebee]

Despots and thugs get to share the international stage with actual democratically-elected officials. Countries from all over the world have a forum from which to denounce the United States and/or Israel. And, thanks to the Security Council, France gets to keep pretending it’s important. However, all in all, it seems like a nice place to work.

Brilliant!

[wagglebee]

Now THIS is witty parody, you should take lessons. :)

[Valin]

And lets not forget Mauritania. I understand Nouakchott is not to be believed.

[writer33]

There's a critic everywhere. :)

Thanks for the ping.

[Vision Thing]

For all the Anti-Americanism of the UN, I cannot imagine their desire to leave America.

We know they really love us.

They can't leave us.

They can't live without us.

They know we're the best they've ever seen.

America to UN: What we can do for you, no one else on God's green earth can do.

[itsamelman]

"Pat Sajak must have a million friends!"

[RobertMorrow]

H.R. 1146 will WITHDRAW the USA from the United Nations' madhouse/cesspool.

H.R. 1146 will withdraw the USA from the United Nations’ madhouse/cesspool.
Go to: http://www.getusout.org/un/index.html . Then go lobby at http://www.conservativeusa.org/megalink.htm . Email President Bush at president@whitehouse.gov . White House comment line is 202-456-1111.
The United Nations is a corrupt disgrace and it is time for the USA to WITHDRAW from and defund the United Nations. Please tell your senators, congressmen and everyone you know to support H.R. 1146 which would WITHDRAW the USA from the United Nations, prohibit US funds going to the UN and prohibit US troops serving under UN command. H.R 1146 is the American Sovereignty Restoration Act.
The whole mission of the UN is to take power, money and national sovereignty from the USA. Thus the United States must withdraw from and defund the UN, a worthless organization, and if we go, if we are lucky, the whole thing will implode.

[itsamelman]

"Gets my vote" bump.

[xJones]

Wonderful sarcasm! Kofi Annan, for one, would have to have his cold dead hands pried off his U.N. New York office desk before he'd willingly relocate to his native Ghana. His Swedish wife probably wouldn't like it either.

It would be such excellent justice to require all those piss-ant countries that love to dump on the U.S. to host at least a 4 year session of the U.N. It might be difficult to find willing Americans or Western Europeans to serve in the U.N. while it is located in Guinea-Bissau, possibly because no one knows where it is.

But seriously, consider housing the entire U.N. ambassadors, staff, administration, etc. for 4 years in all 67.4 sq. miles of U.N. member, little Liechtenstein. It would be worse than the ten plagues of Egypt on the Liechensteiners, but maybe they'd appreciate New Yorkers for all the years they've put up with it.

[octobersky]

Excellent! I'm going to have to go back to his website one day and read some of his archived articles.

[maine-iac7]

Priceless!

[Recovering Ex-hippie]

LOL.
I loved this. Sajak is a great writer!!!
This is fantastic.

After hearing about the video tapes ( reported on Fox today)of the child abuse that the UN Maggots did in the Congo and elsewhere I am so sick to my stomach that my tax dollars are paying for this!!! It is time to demand our money back and get rid of the UN.

[T.L.Sink]

Sajak's article is flippant and betrays his ignorance of
the magnitude of the U.N's dtsfunctionality. It is not,
as he suggests, just another "multi-level bureaucracy"
with some good and bad points. First, the Oil-for-Food
scam is an eleven billion dollar scandal which represents
the LARGEST financial fraud in modern history. Now there
is knowledge coming to light of a massive sex scandal.
Kofi and his son are apparently involved in the Swiss
company that participated in the Oil-for-Food ripoff.
Above all, there is absolutely NO ACCOUNTABILITY on
the part of this organization -- which is stonewalling
the congressional investigation. It has also come to
light that Paul Volcker has a clear conflict of interest
and is unable or unwilling to conduct a transparent
investigation. And U.S. taxpayers are funding these
financial scandals and crimes of moral turpitude.

[wagglebee]

Sajak's article is flippant and betrays his ignorance of the magnitude of the U.N's dtsfunctionality.

It's called SARCASM.

[Marine_Uncle]

Good points. This is serious shit. To many people seem not to have a clue as how the UN gets away with to much. The are a den of thieves at best, and at worst criminal of ignoring so much stuff that has been intrusted to them. High time America puts them on the spot.