Posted on 01/02/2005 10:05:11 PM PST by Libertarian Nationalist GOPr
The Insipid Object Meets the Inane Force
If you reside in the Chicago area, you are well aware of our resident Unholier-Than-Thou atheist pest Rob Sherman. If you don't, though, you probably have a clone where you live. You know the type: he scurries about the metropolitan area looking for things to be offended about. Crosses in city seals, seals wearing crosses...that sort of thing.
Well, I'm happy to report that Mr. Sherman has scored a major victory for atheists everywhere!
You see, the city of Chicago, having solved the problems of crime, economic stagnation and urban blight, turned its attention to Christmas tree recycling. The city came up with a little scheme whereby residents who haul their Christmas trees to city-owned wood chippers, rather than just throw them on the curb for the garbagemen to pick up, are rewarded with recycling bags. Up to 53 of them! A belated Christmas gift for the good citizens of Chicago.
Yes, yes. I know what you're wondering. And I have no idea why they picked the number 53. My best guess is that the bags come in packages of 10.6 and they wanted to dispense them in five-package-increments. But I digress....
Now you might look at the city's little plan and see little more than an extraordinarily silly, but fairly harmless, waste of time and resources. Not Superatheist, though! No, Sherman - undeterred by the fact that he doesn't actually LIVE in Chicago but rather in Buffalo Grove some 20 miles away - saw a dangerous and offensive government endorsement of religion. And he went to work.
Thus spaketh His Unholiness:
"Although well-intentioned, it was a blatant situation where the government designed a program for the benefit of Christians. Atheists and others should not have to pay for the bags if Christians can get them for free."
At this point, the story gets a little unclear. I imagine that the city called an emergency meeting of its legal counselors and pest control professionals. What we DO know though, is that they came up with a compromise solution. The city changed its program so that anyone "dropping off a large bag of recyclables" can also get the bags. This made Sherman as happy as he ever gets, and he dropped his plans to do whatever it is he does in this sort of case.
Whew. That was close!
Oh, and one more thing. Rumor has it that you can get a good deal on recycling bags from the gentlemen making their homes on Lower Wacker Drive. Seems they had connections to a good pipeline of "recyclables."
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