DUmmie FUnnies Thanksgiving Edition ("No Thanksgiving This Year")

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | November 25, 2004 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

[PJ-Comix]

In this special Thanksgiving Edition of the DUmmie FUnnies we shall observe how the DUmmies celebrate, or rather NOT celebrate, Thanksgiving this year. As you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “No Thanksgiving This Year,” the DUmmies, with a few exceptions, are refraining from celebrating the holiday this year. As usual, the hungry comments of the DUmmies angrily glaring at the Thanksgiving tables they will not sit at are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, stuffing himself with turkey and all the trimmings, is in the [brackets]:

No Thanksgiving This Year…

[Speak for yourself, Dummie 5X.]

The celebration of the fall harvest and in some areas an almost religous giving of thanks does not quite seem appropriate this year. The harvest this year consists of war dead, civilians and soldiers, fascism and corporatism instead of democracy, and four more years of huge profits for friends of george. I won't be celebrating thanksgiving or any other holidays this year but instead will avoid any shopping except for necessities. I will be actively boycotting republican owned and supporting businesses. I will speak out when ever possible against the war and the theft of our democracy. This will be my gift to family and friends for this holiday season.

[Since you won’t be eating any Thanksgiving dinners this year, DUmmie 5X, wouldn’t that mean you would need to downsize your name to 4X?]

We stopped celebrating any holidays religious or otherwise after the 2000 coup by the bushit crime family. This will continue as long as a single repuke lives!!!

[Welcome to an eternity of holiday boycotts!]

The Christian Reconstructionists applaud your decision. One of their minor issues (beneath the subjugation of women & the return of slavery) is the abolition of the Godless Popish/Pagan holidays. Which means nearly all of them.

[Hmm…. Methinks you are thinking of the Jehovah Witnesses but since those folks don’t vote nor participate in public affairs in any way, your angry thrust is a bit moot.]

I am thankful that my husband was able to find work within a week after being laid-off. I am thankful that I am able to attend college full-time. I am thankful for my family and for my health. I am thankful for my 4 cockatiels and my cat. I am thankful for having such generous friends who help us at the drop of a hat. I am thankful we can pay the bills and aren't drowning in debt anymore. I am thankful that I can finally afford to buy christmas presents for my family. I am thankful for my marriage and my husband. I am thankful for everything I have. Thank Goddess and God for giving these to me.

[Your reverent praise of the Twin Deities is quite touching.]

I don't see the point in celebrating two of the most over indulgent holidays of the year. While our troops are away from their families and malnutrition among Iraqi children has doubled since the war of aggression started, I really don't feel too festive.

[And yet if Kerry won you would now be stuffing your face with turkey and trimmings. See, Bush has done some good for you after all. It is because of him you won’t be suffering from the typical holiday weight gain.]

I can't give up the holidays. My Democratic family and I need some cheering up. However, I still plan to actively participate in demonstrations about the stolen vote. RedefeatBush.com has a counter-inauguration planned.

[Your Counter-Inaugural Ball tickets are in the mail.]

Holidays have never really been important to us. They are just pagan rituals..

[Your Goddess will be VERY ANGRY with you.]

Postponing Thanksgiving Fest 'till there is a recount, the rightfully elected president sits at the oval office, fascism is ebbing and sanity has returned to our democracy, or until GWB and his goons are out of office!

[Psst! Come around to my back door and I’ll have a few slices of turkey available for you in the doggie bag.]

Honestly, I think the freepers would be just thrilled if they thought they had ruined even family holidays for us. Not gonna let that happen. I still have plenty to be thankful for. Pass the eggnog please.

[Hmmm…. Should I allow you to have a Thanksgiving? Okay, I won’t ruin it for you just this one time. Happy Thanksgiving, DUmmie!]

[granite]

I am thankful for the ability and skill to earn a living for my family, to never have been unemployed since age 12, and to have the knowledge that democrats will never rule again in my lifetime.

[PJ-Comix]

Thanx. BTW, I know one person who will be having a really HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!! I just checked the Florida Lotto results and there was ONE winner in last night's $60 million jackpot! Whoever it is has to be having an INCREDIBLE Thanksgiving today.

[roaddog727]

Happy thanksgiving to ALL.

I, for one, will be certainly enjoying, in fact relishing this thanksgiving's festivities.

WooHoo!

This year, as a departure from my traditional roast Turkey, we're giving a TURDUCKEN a try.

OF course, along with that we're having the mashed 'taters, dressing, and the ubiquitous string bean casserole. Pecan pie with PLENTY of whipped cream for desert.

Enjoy!

[Petronski]

Mmmmm. Delicious Schadenfreude, crunchy style.

[PJ-Comix]

This year, as a departure from my traditional roast Turkey, we're giving a TURDUCKEN a try.

That name, TURDUCKEN, just doesn't sound very appetizing. I refuse to eat anything that has the term "TURD" anywhere in its name.

[sweetliberty]

"Most people realise that the really important things in life don't have to do with who wins elections."

Yeah, but when you don't believe in God, it must be pretty hard to keep it perspective. Keep in mind, that they think THEY are gods. Must be excruciatingly agonizing to live in such a small world. Bless their pathetic little hearts and keep them in your prayers today.

[Flux Capacitor]

----Postponing Thanksgiving Fest 'till there is a recount, the rightfully elected president sits at the oval office, fascism is ebbing and sanity has returned to our democracy, or until GWB and his goons are out of office!----

----"For the next four years we're gonna sit around, scowl, and starve. THAT'LL SHOW THOSE EVIL REPUBLICANS!!!"----

I'm thankful for DemocraticUnderground.com. I truly am. It gives me, in my lowest moments of worry and self-doubt, a window upon people even more pathetic than I am. :)

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

-Dan

[Gabz]

Did you check your lotto tickets?

[sweetliberty]

"It gives me, in my lowest moments of worry and self-doubt, a window upon people even more pathetic than I am."

.

[EllaMinnow]

It wasn't me who won the $60 mil, PJ, but if it was, I'd make your DUmmie FUnnies book my first investment.

[roaddog727]

"That name, TURDUCKEN, just doesn't sound very appetizing. I refuse to eat anything that has the term "TURD" anywhere in its name."

Yah, I had a time getting over that myself. However, what that stands for is:

TUR - TURkey
DUCK = DUCK
EN = ChickEN

Hence, TURDUCKEN.

It is a deboned Turkey, stuffed with a deboned Duck, which is further stuffed with a deboned Chicken - all of which is in turn stuffed with Cajun Sausage Stuffing.

Roast for several hours in pan full of chopped bell pepper and chopped onion, with a cup of Chardonnay as a "moistening" agent and away we go!

MMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

[P.O.E.]

We stopped celebrating any holidays religious or otherwise after the 2000 coup by the bushit crime family. This will continue as long as a single repuke lives!!!

Sounds like Narnia under the rule of the ice queen - "where it always snows and it's never Christmas"

[prognostigaator]

incomprehendable....

[sweetliberty]

The turkeys, however, ARE celebrating Thanksgiving. They're having stuffed DUhmmy.

.

.

Ignore the similarities to previously posted pic on different thread, Darks. Purely coincidental.

[SaveTheChief]

Honestly, I think the freepers would be just thrilled if they thought they had ruined even family holidays for us. Not gonna let that happen. I still have plenty to be thankful for. Pass the eggnog please.

The despair, the drama even in the most optimistic of these DUmmies' posts is ridiculously funny. They actually believe that we sit over here and dream of ways to make them unhappy. They don't understand that our fascination with the DUmmie Ant Farm has nothing to do with us. Their ability to drive themselves into panic, angst, and deep depression for no good reason is what we (at least I) find so entertaining.

They cry about things that have never happened, and never will. These people are deranged.

[roaddog727]

Stuffed, headless DUmmie.

I don't know if I would really want to eat that.

"Have you ever tried to clean one?......."

[Freepdonia]

The celebration of the fall harvest and in some areas an almost religous giving of thanks does not quite seem appropriate this year. The harvest this year consists of war dead, civilians and soldiers, fascism and corporatism instead of democracy, and four more years of huge profits for friends of george. I won't be celebrating thanksgiving or any other holidays this year but instead will avoid any shopping except for necessities. I will be actively boycotting republican owned and supporting businesses. I will speak out when ever possible against the war and the theft of our democracy. This will be my gift to family and friends for this holiday season.

Your gift to my family is that you're not part of my family.

[sweetliberty]

"Stuffed, headless DUmmie."

Actually, I think the head is in its usual place...you just can't see it.

"Have you ever tried to clean one?......."

Eeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww!!!!!

[granite]

November 25, 2004—According to informed sources in Washington and Houston, the Bush campaign spent some $29 million to pay polling place operatives around the country to rig the election for Bush. The operatives were posing as Homeland Security and FBI agents but were actually technicians familiar with Diebold, Sequoia, ES&S, Triad, Unilect, and Danaher Controls voting machines. These technicians reportedly hacked the systems to skew the results in favor of Bush.



The leak about the money and the rigged election apparently came from technicians who were promised to be paid a certain amount for their work but the Bush campaign interlocutors reneged and some of the technicians are revealing the nature of the vote rigging program.



There have been media reports from around the country concerning the locking down of precincts while votes were being tallied. In one unprecedented action in Warren County, Ohio, election officials locked down the facility where votes were being counted. The officials said this was in response to a Level 10 high-threat terrorist warning being issued by the Department of Homeland Security and the FBI for Warren County. George Bush won 72 percent of the vote in Warren County, much larger than his percentage of victory statewide.



The money to rig the election in favor of Bush reportedly came from an entity called Five Star Trust, largely based in Houston but a worldwide entity that is directly tied to the Saudi Royal Family. Five Star Trust was termed "a well-protected vehicle" that has been used to support both Bush and Osama bin Laden in the US and around the world.



Other money used to fund the election rigging was from siphoned Enron money stored away in accounts in the Cook Islands, which was once the base of one of the more questionable and Saudi-linked BCCI subsidiaries. Cook Islands banks also handled some of the weapons smuggling financing of the Iran-Contra scandal. A former Justice Department attorney who helped prosecute the BCCI case said the use of the Cook Islands by the Bush reelection team indicates they wanted the bank arrangements to be a "quick folding tent" operation that would cease to exist when the election was over. He said the Cook Islands was notorious for not requiring any documentation for such operations.


In fact, the Cook Islands has been a favorite location for various covert intelligence activities. This most recent use of the islands is a continuation of a scandal discovered in New Zealand in the early '90s called the "Winebox Affair." In 1992, a computer dealer named Paul White bought some secondhand computers and floppy disks from the Citibank office in Auckland, New Zealand, that had earlier sold them to a scrap dealer.



White later discovered the floppies (and 10 paper files) detailed a scheme to use the European Pacific Bank in the Cook Islands to bilk foreign governments and banks for a phony 15 percent tax bill assessed on various transactions by the Cook Islands government (at the time run by Tom Davis, a former US Army and NASA research scientist who was allegedly on the payroll of the CIA). European Pacific reaped millions of illegal dollars from the New Zealand Treasury and a number of Japanese banks, including Mitsubishi Bank. Paul White later died in a suspicious auto accident.

[roaddog727]

"Eeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww!!!!!"

Got that right!