DUmmie FUnnies Thanksgiving Edition ("No Thanksgiving This Year")

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | November 25, 2004 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

[PJ-Comix]

In this special Thanksgiving Edition of the DUmmie FUnnies we shall observe how the DUmmies celebrate, or rather NOT celebrate, Thanksgiving this year. As you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “No Thanksgiving This Year,” the DUmmies, with a few exceptions, are refraining from celebrating the holiday this year. As usual, the hungry comments of the DUmmies angrily glaring at the Thanksgiving tables they will not sit at are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, stuffing himself with turkey and all the trimmings, is in the [brackets]:

No Thanksgiving This Year…

[Speak for yourself, Dummie 5X.]

The celebration of the fall harvest and in some areas an almost religous giving of thanks does not quite seem appropriate this year. The harvest this year consists of war dead, civilians and soldiers, fascism and corporatism instead of democracy, and four more years of huge profits for friends of george. I won't be celebrating thanksgiving or any other holidays this year but instead will avoid any shopping except for necessities. I will be actively boycotting republican owned and supporting businesses. I will speak out when ever possible against the war and the theft of our democracy. This will be my gift to family and friends for this holiday season.

[Since you won’t be eating any Thanksgiving dinners this year, DUmmie 5X, wouldn’t that mean you would need to downsize your name to 4X?]

We stopped celebrating any holidays religious or otherwise after the 2000 coup by the bushit crime family. This will continue as long as a single repuke lives!!!

[Welcome to an eternity of holiday boycotts!]

The Christian Reconstructionists applaud your decision. One of their minor issues (beneath the subjugation of women & the return of slavery) is the abolition of the Godless Popish/Pagan holidays. Which means nearly all of them.

[Hmm…. Methinks you are thinking of the Jehovah Witnesses but since those folks don’t vote nor participate in public affairs in any way, your angry thrust is a bit moot.]

I am thankful that my husband was able to find work within a week after being laid-off. I am thankful that I am able to attend college full-time. I am thankful for my family and for my health. I am thankful for my 4 cockatiels and my cat. I am thankful for having such generous friends who help us at the drop of a hat. I am thankful we can pay the bills and aren't drowning in debt anymore. I am thankful that I can finally afford to buy christmas presents for my family. I am thankful for my marriage and my husband. I am thankful for everything I have. Thank Goddess and God for giving these to me.

[Your reverent praise of the Twin Deities is quite touching.]

I don't see the point in celebrating two of the most over indulgent holidays of the year. While our troops are away from their families and malnutrition among Iraqi children has doubled since the war of aggression started, I really don't feel too festive.

[And yet if Kerry won you would now be stuffing your face with turkey and trimmings. See, Bush has done some good for you after all. It is because of him you won’t be suffering from the typical holiday weight gain.]

I can't give up the holidays. My Democratic family and I need some cheering up. However, I still plan to actively participate in demonstrations about the stolen vote. RedefeatBush.com has a counter-inauguration planned.

[Your Counter-Inaugural Ball tickets are in the mail.]

Holidays have never really been important to us. They are just pagan rituals..

[Your Goddess will be VERY ANGRY with you.]

Postponing Thanksgiving Fest 'till there is a recount, the rightfully elected president sits at the oval office, fascism is ebbing and sanity has returned to our democracy, or until GWB and his goons are out of office!

[Psst! Come around to my back door and I’ll have a few slices of turkey available for you in the doggie bag.]

Honestly, I think the freepers would be just thrilled if they thought they had ruined even family holidays for us. Not gonna let that happen. I still have plenty to be thankful for. Pass the eggnog please.

[Hmmm…. Should I allow you to have a Thanksgiving? Okay, I won’t ruin it for you just this one time. Happy Thanksgiving, DUmmie!]

[JLO]

This is NOT me talking to you. 23. May I be excused?

Edited on Thu Nov-25-04 10:14 AM by Callous Taoboys
I am boycotting the family thanksgiving today. There have been too many words between us, nasty insinuations about my liberal beliefs have been left on my coffee table for me to read later after they have visited (e.g. we liberals are actually tittering with glee with each G.I. death in Iraq). Last time I visited with the folks it was painfully awkward because we really had nothing to say. Somehow we limped upon a discussion of news, they claiming that fox news is fair and balanced.
I, of course, politely disagreed and was soundly thrashed, and before I knew it my step-mother was spewing some nonsense about how gay marriage would produce a backlash of divorce amongst both gay and straight couples.

My time off is like gold to me, my family more like tarnished copper at this time. So I plan to fast and take a hike.

Men love their ideas more than their lives. And the more preposterous the idea, the more eager they are to die for it. And to kill for it. Ed Abbey

[Ostlandr]

"How could you celebrate eating this crap anyhow?"

I can't. Tofu means soybeans, which means intensive agriculture. Wild Turkey and Venison (the traditional Thanksgiving meats) are low in fat, high in protein, and their production requires preserving the natural environment.

[Ostlandr]

"This just keeps getting better. Goddess and God????"

Not so radical if you think of the Christian "Holy Spirit"- the intuitive, nurturing aspect of the Divine- as feminine.

(Yeah, I'm one of those nasty, evil people who thinks that God and Mother Nature not only know one another, but are married.)

But notice how many of the DUmmies bash ALL religion. Good ol' fashioned Marxism.

I decided a few years back that Conservatives were (slightly) more likely to preserve my religious freedoms. Nice to have that confirmed by the DUmmies.

[Ostlandr]

You say 'Pagan' like it's a bad thing. :-)

The DUmmies hate, bile and violence are against my religious beliefs, too.

[Bullish]

I try to live my life as a non-pagan.

[luvie]

The ACLU are truly frightening!!! They are the most intolerant nut-balls I have ever heard of! How can they possibly want "tolerance of all faiths" and in the same breath want to destroy Christianity? But, then, they are who they are! They must be stopped somehow!

[Gabz]

OMG - I CAN NOT believe what I am reading from a thread on message board that is NOT DU............but has so much of the same mentality::::::::

~~~~~President Bush was visiting a primary school. One of the classes was in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meaning.

The teacher asked the president if he would like to lead the discussion on the word "tragedy."

So the Bush asked the class for an example of a tragedy.

Little Jimmy stood up and offered, "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs him over and kills him, that would be a tragedy."

"No," said Bush, "that would be an accident."

Little Suzie raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid not." explained Bush (who has a conviction for driving while drunk). "That's what we would call a great loss."

The room went silent.

No other children volunteered. Bush searched the room.

"Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of tragedy?"

Finally at the back of the room little Johnny raised his hand.

In a quiet voice he said: "If Air Force One carrying Mr. and Mrs. Bush was struck by a "friendly fire" missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy."

"Fantastic!" exclaimed Bush. "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"

"Well," says little Johnny, "it has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be an accident either."~~~~~~~~~

This was posted on a message board about smoking (tobacco) by a woman in Canada.

Her comment was that tragedy is all in the perspective. She thought it extremely amusing........the fact she posted it on 11/09/04 and no one commented, tells me something. Her minions must be on vacation.

[PJ-Comix]

About Gavin Newsome, he is one of the ones who don't get it.

I didn't know much about Newsome until I read that New Yorker article right after the Thanksgiving dinner. I just got a kick out of how he couldn't figure out why Bush was so friendly with him after Newsome brought up an issue that was guaranteed to boomerang on Democrats.

[PJ-Comix]

Please add me to the fastest growing ping list, would you please.

Welcome aboard PINGee #350. I believe this PING list is now just ahead of one of mhking's PING lists and will soon catch up to his other one. If not mistaken, that would leave only a Florida Freeper PING List and a Texas PING List as the only ones larger but they should both be surpassed by this summer.

When it comes to PING Lists, SIZE does matter. Anyway, sorry for my brief lapse into Ping List Envy.

[granite]

This entire CYBERNET fraud exposed once and for all - letter to DU leaders

[granite]

Good Morning:

I watched one poster shamelessly keep promoting a store, even though they are listed as one of the top retail contributors to repugs. Some posters kept adding other dimensions to an excellent boycott plan, until it became so humongous that one would have to cease using electricity, stop buying the bare necessities of life, and never take a shower using soap.

[OriginalChristian]

'(My how time flies when you're exposing Democrats!)'

WOW, you may want to consider re-phrasing this.

Just Kidding.

Happy Thanksgiving to all...

[sporkgoddess]

The USA consists of corporatism and fascism? Those are two completely opposite things, sweetie...

[sporkgoddess]

Our liberal sister has been talking all week about how Karl Rove is controlling Bush, Condi is a robot, etc. So when she arrived at our house the night before Thanksgiving, my Republican brother presented her with the gift of her very own Tinfoil Hat. She didn't quite get the joke...

[granite]

ONE OUT OF 4.5 BILLION!
Fri Nov-26-04 01:23 AM by TruthIsAll

Those are the odds that Kerry's EXIT poll percentage would
EXCEED his ACTUAL reported vote percentage by MORE THAN THE
MARGIN OF ERROR in 16 out of 51 States by chance alone. That
is exactly what occurred on Nov. 2.

I know that is hard to fathom. But here is the data. And here
is the calculation, based on the number of individuals polled
in each state and the corresponding Margin of Error (MOE).

The chances of a given state falling outside the MOE = 1/20 =
.05. The calculation for the probability that 16 out of 51
states would fall outside the MOE is a simple one which uses
the BINOMIAL DISTRIBUTION FUNCTION:

The Probability (P) that at least 16 out of 51 states would
deviate beyond the exit poll MOE is:

P = 1-BINOMDIST(16,51,0.05,TRUE)

This returns P= 0.0000000218559% or 1 out of 4,575,415,347!

Here is how the odds decrease as the number of states (N)
exceeding the MOE increase:............

[hattend]

[Psst! Come around to my back door and I’ll have a few slices of turkey available for you in the doggie bag.]

Really? You have leftover turkey you're willing to give away? That's unheard of in my family. What doesn't get eaten on Thanksgiving Day is in sandwiches for days afterwards. ;-)

Good as Gold!

[chips99]

ping

[ml1954]

I won't be celebrating thanksgiving or any other holidays this year but instead will avoid any shopping except for necessities. I will be actively boycotting republican owned and supporting businesses. I will speak out when ever possible against the war and the theft of our democracy. This will be my gift to family and friends for this holiday season.

Bet everyone is really glad to see this he/she/it show up at the door during the holidays.

[ml1954]

Holidays have never really been important to us. They are just pagan rituals..

Thanksgiving and Xmas are 'pagan' rituals? This statement is as dumb as the one where, in a previous post, a DUmmie thought that the Democrats could retain the congressional seats they held in Red states by taking the party further left.

[Morgan's Raider]

These people are gonna be fun to watch when their whole plethora of conspiracy theories come crashing down around them. Their logic and deduction consists of some bizarre formula of [post hoc ergo propter hoc X (2+2) + Bush evil] = Karl Rove² stolen pi.