DUmmie FUnnies 11-18-04 ("I believe Kerry will be inaugurated on Jan 20")

Various DUmmies and Assorted MOrons | November 18, 2004 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

[PJ-Comix]

Reading the posts in DUmmieland has become a very bizarre experience recently. The DUmmies are all abuzz about the recount in Ohio. To read the DOZENS of DUmmie threads on this topic, you would think the Bush margin of victory in the Buckeye state was officially only 136 instead of 136,000. And yet the DUmmies are already celebrating the “impending” Kerry victory in Ohio and his inauguration this January. So come with me upon a journey into the Heart of DUmmie Darkness where fantasy becomes reality when viewed through the lens of absolute desperation on this THREAD. As usual the reality challenged DUmmie fantasies are in Bolshevik Red while the bemused comments of your humble correspondents watching the comedy unfold from the galler is in the [brackets]:

I believe Kerry will be inaugurated on Jan 20.

[I believe Dummie Doohickie will be instutionalized on Jan 20.]

I am Doohickie, and I approve this message.

[I am Doohickie’s shrink and I approve his hospitalization.]

I believe . . .that love is the answer, I believe that love will find a way. The politics of hate and fear will one day fade into the dark recesses of history. Someday.

[I believe that you will be sharing Doohickie’s slop bucket in his padded cell.]

I believe the same (when I am not freaking out at least!!). At the minimum I see * impeached over this debacle.

[At the minimum I see you receiving electro-shock therapy.]

I trusted John Kerry enough to vote for him. I still trust him, more than anyone else, to uncover clandestine injustice (think BCCI, folks). And upon his inauguration, he will do the same kind of job on the terrorists. Just like Bush, they will never know what hit them. I know that he will do everything within his power to try to win this election. I don't need news reports to tell me he is working on the issue. If I learned nothing else from this election, I learned that John Kerry is a man of character and I have complete faith in him.

[If I learned nothing else from this election, I learned that DUmmies are living in a Fantasy World.]

Every word you wrote is what I believe, too. I trusted John Kerry enough to vote for him and I'm not about to give up on him. Character not only inspires faith, it also inspires ingenuity. I believe those working on this issue will discover a way to reveal the truth. I believe John F. Kerry will be inaugurated on January 20, 2005.

[The Psychiatric Review Board has gone over your file and has officially given you the following certification: “Just plain NUTS!!!”]

I am going to hold on to my hope, wishes and faith with all my heart, soul and mind. I believe in John Kerry and John Edwards
I believe in Bev Harris and BBV
I believe Votergate will be covered by the MSM
I believe that many programmers will come forward to blow the whistle
I believe that election workers will confess
I believe that this administration will fail, and at the least Mr. Bush and his cronies will be indicted or impeached.

[I believe that I will be busting my gut laughing at your despair on Jan. 20.]

My belief is founded on my faith in the character of our next president, John Kerry. Peace to you. I appreciate your skepticism, and I don't blame you one bit. But remember this thread and others like it when Kerry takes the oath of office in January.

[Remember this thread when you wake up from your acid trip.]

Moreover I believe in the power of visualization. MAKE IT SO!!!

[Squeeze your eyes shut really tight and wish really really hard that John Kerry was elected president. MAKE IT SO!!!]

I believe it too. I am not going to give up hope

[Too bad you’ve already given up your mind.]

Kerry will not tell a soul. He will not tell the media, he will not tell George Bush. He will wait until he has every detail straight. Then he, Edwards and other prominent Dems will sneak into the White House, hide behind the sofa, and when W walks in, they'll all jump up and yell, SURPRISE!

[See that guy jumping up from behind that sofa? SURPRISE! It is Rod Serling.]

Even the crazy people are right sometimes.

[Why don’t you engrave that thought above the entrance portal to DUmmieland?]

I believe in the vast power of visualization too, with all my heart. Also, most of the world and at least 48% of the country wants Bush out... that is powerful energy. And good always wins over evil. (Not instantly... but eventually. And since he's already been in office for 4 years, it's time for the situation to correct itself.)

[To paraphrase Sgt. Hartman, even the Almighty Himself at this point couldn’t miracle Kerry’s ass into the Oval Office.]

What say we inaugurate him our president regardless of whatever else happens? We'll just set up our own federal government, the one for the smart people, and we'll pay our taxes to it and we'll just ignore that other one... the illegitimate one... and then I can finally go out of the house again...

[But the big question is, can you finally get out of the asylum again?]

I just have a feeling that we could all be in for the greatest, most pleasant surprise in history.

[I just have a feeling that you could all be in for the biggest, most horrible shock in history.]

All Omens Point to John Kerry Victory. Boston Redsox breaking the curse of the Bambino after 84 years. Some East Indian Astrologer said that Kerry would win the election, and that *'s signs show him on his way out. I BELIEVE !!!

[And the lunar phase is rising in Uranus and your chicken’s entrails have a favorable reading. I BELIEVE!!]

Logic tells me that Rove expected the election to be closer than it was. If exit polls had shown a close split then a Bush win would not have attracted any public notice. The fact that Kerry was gaining ground in Ohio is probably what prompted him to tell Blackwell to try to block exit polls in Ohio. When that didnt work he concocted the surreal theater event with the Bush clan and national TV election night. When that didnt work, he began trying to cover his tracks and give W. "plausible deniability."

[When that didn’t work, Rove tried to give you “plausible sanity.” When that didn’t work….]

I've firmly believed that for almost a week now. This will be proof there really is a God! And the bible-thumping 'moral majority' can be damned!

[I’ve firmly believed for almost a week now that you will be returning to atheism on Jan. 20.]

I don't know what I believe anymore but I sure as hell can VISUALIZE this nightmare ending with the real winner, John Kerry, being inaugurated the 44th President of the US.

[I sure as hell can VISUALIZE your mental meltdown.]

When Kerry gets in...He needs to appoint Bev Harris, Greg Palast, Keith Olbermann, Ralph Nader, David Cobb, and Michael Badnarik to the cabinet!

[When Kerry gets in…he needs to appoint Bev Harris to Secretary of Mental Health.]

People are saying that we don't live in the real world, but a world of "conspiracies" No ... It's Faith, and with that we can create our own reality !!! No one can corner the market on faith ...

[And no one can corner the market on crack. Yes, take another hit from that pipe and create your “own reality.”]

I want to believe and see him and Edwards be sworn in as president and vice president respectively. Even though many of America looks like it has moved on preparing for four more years of Shrub.

[That’s because the rest of America hasn’t entered the crack inspired reality you have created for yourself.]

I believe you are losing touch with reality. Anyone who thinks that Kerry will be inaugurated needs to see a shrink. Seriously people, this site is starting to look like conspiracy nut central. Face reality: IT'S OVER.

[I regret to inform you that your disgusting descent into reality will likely result in your expulsion from DUmmieland.]

You don't have to believe it if you don't want to...But there is a real chance that the recount will flip Ohio. Regardless of what Kerry said, there are at least 200,000+ uncounted ballots that almost certainly favor him. It depends on how many provisonal ballots are accepted, and how many of the spoiled ballots are valid. A recount will answer those questions, and possibly expose MASSIVE fraud. I'm not saying it's very likely, but it could still happen. Until that chance is gone, I REFUSE to move on.

[Please visit the wonderful new DUmmie website: RefuseToMoveOn.Org.]

Imagine Kerry at the podium, after it has been proven that he really did win Ohio, Florida, New Mexico, and who knows how many other states, and he says 'They said I was a flip-flopper, and you know just this once they may be right, I said I conceded, but I changed my mind.' Then visualize him at his inauguration party with the Dixie Chicks singing 'Landslide' right beside him on the stage. Sorry, I just can't let go of those images, because it's really what was supposed to happen. I believe it will.

[You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mindlessness; a journey into a wacky land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That's the signpost up ahead-- your next stop . . . the DUmmie Zone!]

I still believe that Kerry will be inaugurated in January. Bush cheated. That much is obvious. Ask people at random, online or in real life, who they voted for. 9 times out of 10, it's Kerry. I don't understand how the majority of people you ask can claim they voted for Kerry, yet Bush wins both the popular vote and electoral vote? That isn't even taking into account that Bush is the most hated man in modern history. The entire world hates him, and America showed more hatred for Bush over the span of his presidency than it has ever shown any president. There were incredible movements in favor of getting rid of Bush... hundreds of organizations formed. Just take a look at sorryeverybody.com. It's overwhelming. I just don't get it. It's not POSSIBLE that Bush won fairly.

[At least it’s not possible in the DUmmie Zone.]

Can I live in your reality? Mine sucks. Well, most things are really, really good about it. But the "Bush" thing is a major bummer. I'm all up for switching onto a more reasonable timeline.

[How about switching onto a more reasonable reality?]

I BELIEVE! January 20, 2005 WILL be the day John F. Kerry is inaugurated as President of the United States.

[I BELIEVE! January 20, 2005 WILL be the day El Presidente Ezequiel is inaugurated.]

I WILL NEVER GIVE UP ON KERRY!!!!

[You might consider calling the Suicide Hot Line on Jan. 20. The number is 1-800-BUSH-WON.]

My feeling... based on the internets, is that verifiable allegations of fraud are just around the corner. I have no way to know, but I have a feeling in my gut that Bush will be implicated. I have no data other than the stuff on DU and other sites, but the feeling is there. That little breeze that kicks up between the calm and the storm.

[Between the Pixie and the Angel Dust.]

[Bellflower]

I believe in the vast power of visualization too, with all my heart. Also, most of the world and at least 48% of the country wants Bush out...

These people are New Agers who think they can think anything into existence. They have NO power, the 48% and "most of the world" have no power. The power belongs with the LORD of the Christians and the Jews who lifts up and puts down who he wants. The thing about it is when their visualization proves powerless will they admit it. No, almost all of them will go on thinking they can change reality through concentrating and visualizing, if they just try a little harder next time.

[Laurita]

There's an awful lot of posts that have been deleted on that thread.

If they're running this stuff, how on earth do you get deleted?
Do they have a "Loony Thread" section or has this craziness metastasized to the entire DU?

This is un-fargin', un-frellin', un-smeggin', un-fraggin' believable!

[GeronL]

Some people are just stupid

[Nataku X]

I thought DUmmies were atheist-leaning or agnostic-leaning. These people have more faith than I do... yeesh.

[6ppc]

This one should be added to the Just Damn! ping list.

[SittinYonder]

It was Coca-Cola

I was only kidding, I never suspected otherwise. ... ;-)

[cupcakes]

It's funny isn't it? They don't consider that people will tend to surround themselves with people who have similar values and beliefs as they do. Example, I can guarantee in our small church 99.999% of the people voted for Bush and at my hubby's work, out of about 20 people who he's discussed the issue with casually, all but 2 voted for Kerry. Maybe we should be screaming about how Bush only got 51% of the vote based on that--LOL! I guess DUmmie never considered that he has shunned everyone in his life(ever seen their posts on not talking to family members over an election) who voted for W.

[San Jacinto]

...to uncover clandestine injustice (think BCCI, folks).

You mean jimmah carter is finally going to the slammer? Hooray!

[N8VTXNinWV]

believe Kerry will be inaugurated on Jan 20. [I believe Dummie Doohickie will be instutionalized on Jan 20.] I am Doohickie, and I approve this message. [I am Doohickie’s shrink and I approve his hospitalization.] You reckon this is DooHickie from Alabama?????

[dougherty]

What a bunch of screwballs. It's hard to believe there are actually people out there this deluded. Someone needs to send the paddy wagon over to Dirty Underwear.

[Question Liberal Authority]

One wonders who dresses these people in the morning.

They've been wearing the same pair of spiderman underoos since 1985.

[wasp69]

I have no data other than the stuff on DU

My, my, my....

[speed_addiction]

PJ, this is hilarious! Add me to your ping list. I am here at work and my customers think I am crazy because I am practically rolling. I had several look at the monitor and read this. Boy, this is fun!

[PJ-Comix]

Welcome aboard PINGee #317.

[hellinahandcart]

[queenkathy]

and I believe I have the winning numbers for the Mega Million Lottery...$149,000,000

[uncitizen]

Votergate?! LOL!

[GodBlessRonaldReagan]

Psychotherapy
Psychotherapy
Psychotherapy
It's what they wanna give me!

[Darksheare]

Whoever that was that made sense and spoke the reality inspired truth.. has been completely removed.
*sigh*
The DUmmies are hostile to any realist over there apparently.

[Right2Life]

Many here have expressed disbelief that fevered posts on lib sites predicting the imminent inauguration of Kerry are from real libs. Well, believe it! I had never been to a blog before, but found my way onto democrats.com through a link from NRO. I went planning to spend a few minutes, but developed a strange addiction, even to the level of attempting to post logical responses. These were of course deleted by Mr. Goebbels (oops, I mean the moderator) But what was interesting was that the supposedly more intelligent libs actually believe conspiracy theories so outlandish that the addition of Elvis and space aliens would lend them credibility. As others have pointed out, their vaunted intellects somehow missed the phenomena of biased sample base--if everyone in their small liberal cocoon voted Kerry, then he MUST have won in a landslide. They look at numerous pre-election polls showing Bush up by a couple in OH and FL, down by a couple in PA and winning overall by a few. They hear every pundit on the planet predicting a close race. They see actual results that show Bush up by a couple in FL and OH, down by a couple in PA and winning overall by a few. Then they see exit polls showing Kerry winning in a landslide, and conclude...you guessed it! Rigged voting machines! Also, these so called "compassionate" libs go on rants and screeds about "fascist" republicans and Christians that would have them jailed for "hate speech" if their proposed laws were enacted. Check it out if you don't believe me.