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DUmmie FUnnies 09-22-04 PM Edition (Was Roger Stone Behind Memogate?)
Various DUmmies and Assorted Morons | September 22, 3004 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 09/22/2004 6:11:29 PM PDT by PJ-Comix

In today’s PM edition of the DUmmie FUnnies the DUmmies, not having learned from past experience after getting burned on the Memogate forgeries, are now pinning their hopes on the possibility that Roger Stone was the forger of the documents. Methinks that the DUmmie Coyote is about to be outsmarted by the Roadrunner YET Again. Read on and laugh as the DUmmies work themselves into a frenzy on the topic of whether Roger Stone is the forger. My own humble remarks are in the [brackets].

Could this be bait and switch? another plant to throw people off the right trail?

[Hee! Hee! This DUmmie won’t allow himself to be outsmarted AGAIN. Psst! It was KARL ROVE who forged the papers. Not Roger Stone. KARL ROVE.]

nah... we got the goods...and, we're going to roast these fsckers for dinner...i think that kerry knows exactly how deep the rabbit hold goes, and how to prove it....

[YUP! You got the goods alright! Just like you did when Danny Boy first nailed Bush with those ABSOLUTELY AUTHENTIC memos. It was a sure thing….until it flopped.]

Think Dan Rather might look into this?

[Only if you can provide him with ORIGINAL forgeries. No more of the fake forgeries for Danny Boy. He learned from experience and will only accept original fakes.]

Before taking the bait lets check this out carefully...Everyone is desperately wanting Rove and the Minions of Malificence to be caught red handed, lets probe this one a bit before we swallow, riping out that last hook really hurt.

{Naw! Go ahead and take the bait. This is a sure thing. Can’t lose. Anyway, please, please let it be KARL ROVE! If we close our eyes and wish hard enough, maybe we can even make it be KARL ROVE.]

Roger Stone and his wife are major players in this whole thing There are a bunch of threads and links all over the place about this guy. He has been involved in anything and everything since back in college when he met Rove.


Rove dirty tricks But lately, they haven't been working so great. If Stone is involved, this will blow up in their faces. I have no idea what they were thinking; no one seriously thinks the documents aren't ACCURATE, just not the real thing. They are replacing stuff that was tossed in the shredder back in the 80s

[ACCURATE forgeries, I say! Yeah, the originals were shredded but people still remember them from 30 years ago to be able to reassemble them perfectly. That’s the key word. Not forgeries but “REASSEMBLED” memos.]

Dan Rather is a wonderful journalist and would never lie to us on purpose. Stay the course Dan!

[Lie to us? Never, Never, NEVER! Not our beloved Danny Boy! And even if he did lie, didn’t this wonderful journalist state that you can lie and still be a basically honest person?]

DU was not fooled by those CBS memos. All many of us said was that they could have been typed. We didn't insist that they were genuine - just that the "reasons" that Buckhead gave for being suspicious were not credible. It's too bad that CBS didn't haul out an old typewriter and prove that the memos could have been typed. They were wussy about that angle.

[We Dummies weren’t fooled for an INSTANT. We knew they were forgeries from the get-go. However, they really weren’t forgeries but CBS is too cheap to buy an old typewriter on eBay and prove the memos were originals. However, we suckers weren’t fooled for a minute! Several days maybe. But NOT for a minute.]

Please don't push this story anywhere The whole controversy hurts Kerry. I suspect the Post ran this rumor to try to trick leftists into wanting to keep the story alive. Burkett forged the memos. The evidence is overwhelming. There is no Lucy Ramirez. Burkett made up that excuse, just like he made up the story about getting the memos from Cobb. If anybody doubts me I can make the case. I didn't want to spoil the fun but I'm worried that pushing this story might hurt us.

[No, No, NO! I say that we OBSESS over this whole National Guard thing. We must dig up even more “documents” from 30 years ago. We can’t give it up. KARL ROVE is behind this! Roger Stone too.]

It is hard for me to accept your position. If this story leads to the truth and the truth is that this is a Republican dirty trick than it can't hurt Kerry. It isn't hurting Kerry now because he had nothing to do with it. Only Repubs could be hurt by this story.

[YES! YES! That’s the right attitude! TANG obsession must NEVER die!!!]

Burkett forged the documents. I know this is all great fun but it is never going to lead to Roger Stone. I'm sorry.

[Don’t give up hope. Keep following this trail It will lead to Roger Stone. And KARL ROVE too! Right now I am investigating a shadow in the alley. You never know! It COULD be the clue that leads to cracking the Rovian plot.]

The Truth will set us free It's important to find out the truth. The election is of secondary importance to finding the truth.

[I agree! Let’s give up on trying to elect Kerry. The important thing is to OBSESS over and over and over again whether this is a KARL ROVE plot. (Or was Roger Stone behind it?)]

There have been enough twists and turns...... that I no longer trust any version of events. Burkett as the forger has as much credence as any theory I've heard. But the idea that Roger Stone's wife or girlfriend is "Lucy Ramirez" is not out of the question. What this new side story does though, is muddy the water. It is a classic Rove trick. 'When a story is hurting you, confuse the voters.' It works. Instead of hunting Joe Lockhart, the cable whores will be looking for Lucy Stone.

[Hmm…. A perceptive observation. So Lucy Ramirez might be Roger Stone’s wife. Or is she Karl Rove’s niece? Maybe we should ask her. “LUUUUCY! LUUUUCY! Did you forge those documents?”….”Waaaaah! Ricky! I just wanted to break into showbiz and Karl Rove told me I could do it by forging memos!”]

IF the whole thing is a republican dirty trick initiated by Rove, or whoever, how do you explain CBS falling for the false memos? Without CBS ignoring the forgeries and ignoring the questionable character of Burkett as thier source there would have been no story. For the dirty trick theory to hold water, they would have been convinced that CBS would violate all relevant journalistic standards in oder to advance the story.

[But since that is an easy assumption then it is obvious that it is all a KARL ROVE dirty trick. See, he KNEW that CBS would violate all relevant journalistic standards in order to advance the story. Sneaky guy that KARL ROVE.]

CBS was not supposed to fall for the story. Kerry's campaign was ...Lucy or whoever she is, wanted Kerry and the DNC to trumpet this - not CBS. Then they could say Kerry's campaign forged the documents.

[But only if Bill Burkett wore his tinfoil hat inside out. That was the KEY to this devious Rovian plot!]

I don't have the info in front of me, but I'm wondering about the bug that was supposedly planted in Rove's office during the 2000 election. Aren't we pretty sure that Rove was himself behind that and who took the fall? Wasn't it a gal whose name is very similar to the name Lucy Ramirez? Evidently no one knows who Lucy Ramirez is other than a voice on the phone. I'm not saying it's the same gal, but I'm betting it's the same guy, Rove!!

[AHA! You cracked the case my little genius!!! Lucy Ramirez IS Karl Rove! Sherlock Holmes himself couldn’t have done a better job! You win the DUmmie Tinfoil Hat of the Year Award!]

KEYWORDS: dufu; dummie; dummiefunnies; dummies; firstdummiefunnies; karlrove; rogerstone
I caught a little flak for spamming the DUmmie FUnnies on various threads. Therefore, I am now presenting the DUmmie FUnnies on a separate thread for your general amusement. It just doesn't get any funnier than reading the DUmmies. It is the humor gift that keeps on giving! All DUmmie quotes are word for word exact. No "reassembled" forgeries here.
1 posted on 09/22/2004 6:11:29 PM PDT by PJ-Comix
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To: PJ-Comix

you are performing a public service (so we don't have to go there), and cracking me up, at the same time. Thanks!

2 posted on 09/22/2004 6:16:54 PM PDT by bitt ("I'm Mad as Zell, and I'm Not Going to Take It Anymore." (CongressmanBillybob))
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To: bitt; Xenalyte; Clemenza; dennisw

The DUmmies provide the BEST (unintentional) humor on the Web.

3 posted on 09/22/2004 6:19:16 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (What's the Forgery, Dan!!!???)
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To: PJ-Comix

Thanks for posting this :)

4 posted on 09/22/2004 6:27:33 PM PDT by escapefromboston
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To: escapefromboston

No fiction (or comedy) writer could make up the hilarious paranoia of the DUmmie website.

5 posted on 09/22/2004 6:31:40 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (What's the Forgery, Dan!!!???)
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To: PJ-Comix

What's pretty clear is that CBS, the legacy media generally,
and the legions of koolaid drinkers are only interested in
who authored the memos if the trail leads away from

My standard argument on why this was not a sting is below,
but at this point it hardly matters who the author is. CBS
clearly did not have any handle on the provenance of these
scraps of fiction.

McAwful: "These fake documents were White House plants.
They hoodwinked the DNC and CBS, taking advantage of our
lust for power and general gross incompetence on typography,
jargon, names, dates, places; that sort of complicated
technical stuff. It's all just so unfair."

Folks, this is what absolute utter panic looks like.

This was not a sting (by Rove, Nader or Clinton, nor
by any experienced dirty trickster).

As I've said in many threads, these docs are too clumsy to
be a sting. No clear-thinking operator could have counted
on so many key people exhibiting zero skepticism and zero
judgement, much less staying in denial until their complete

It was much more likely that the fakes would get stopped
well before exploding in Dan's face, and then turned into
an expose of a failed dirty trick (as they are now vainly

It was either a deliberate amateur forgery or someone's
gag that escaped into the wild.

The DNC/KerryKamp/CBS can play the victim card if they
like, but it is not a winning hand.

This feint does suggest that CBS either doesn't know who
the actual author is, or thinks they can conceal while
they run the RNC-trickster flag up the pole.

6 posted on 09/22/2004 6:40:22 PM PDT by Boundless
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To: PJ-Comix

Dude, whatever list results in me being pinged to stuff like this - I want on it.

7 posted on 09/22/2004 6:43:40 PM PDT by Xenalyte (Anything is possible when you don't understand how anything happens.)
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To: PJ-Comix
My Theory:

Image Hosted by

8 posted on 09/22/2004 6:57:09 PM PDT by IncPen (It's official: CBS has jumped the shark...)
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To: Xenalyte
Dude, whatever list results in me being pinged to stuff like this - I want on it.

Okay. I think I'll start a DUmmie FUnnies Ping List since I plan to make the DUmmie FUnnies a regular feature. Anybody else want on the DUmmie FUnnies Ping List?

9 posted on 09/22/2004 6:59:00 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (What's the Forgery, Dan!!!???)
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To: PJ-Comix

Don't leave me out, PJ! :-)

10 posted on 09/22/2004 7:04:56 PM PDT by RMDupree (HHD: My heart remains in Washington....)
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To: RMDupree
Don't leave me out, PJ!

Okay but are you sure you aren't Lucy Ramirez?

11 posted on 09/22/2004 7:11:45 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (What's the Forgery, Dan!!!???)
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To: PJ-Comix
"DUmmie FUnnies Ping List?"

They ARE funny, but shouldn't my computer wear a condom
before reading anything from DU?
12 posted on 09/22/2004 7:11:51 PM PDT by AlexW
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To: PJ-Comix

I'm Karl Rove, remember?

13 posted on 09/22/2004 7:15:12 PM PDT by RMDupree (HHD: My heart remains in Washington....)
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To: AlexW
They ARE funny, but shouldn't my computer wear a condom before reading anything from DU?

No. Only your monitor needs to be covered by a condom. I'll put you on the Ping list so you know when to cover your monitor.

14 posted on 09/22/2004 7:15:12 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (What's the Forgery, Dan!!!???)
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To: PJ-Comix


15 posted on 09/22/2004 8:00:39 PM PDT by JIMBO22
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To: PJ-Comix


16 posted on 01/27/2005 8:40:01 PM PST by TheWyzzyrd (Red is grey and yellow white, but we decide which is right.. and which is an illusion. (Moody Blues))
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To: PJ-Comix

Who's Roger Stone? Is he a Karl Rove puppet? If so it's very, very possible. But you're not to speak of it again.


17 posted on 01/27/2005 8:41:51 PM PST by Tempest (Click on my name for a long list of press contacts)
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To: PJ-Comix; Xenalyte

Fifth Anniversary bump for this, the very first DUmmie FUnnies!

18 posted on 09/22/2009 10:43:32 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (DUmmie FUnnies, established September 22, 2004 . . . Fifth anniversary TODAY!)
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To: Roscoe Karns; Choose Ye This Day; Xenalyte; PJ-Comix; franksolich; LUV W; Ballygrl; mikrofon; ...

And now we’ve been celebrating the SIXTH anniversary of the DUmmie FUnnies!

19 posted on 09/23/2010 2:07:42 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (DUmmie FUnnies, est. 09-22-04)
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To: Charles Henrickson
I dislike having to have a deep-digging archaeologist on the payroll, but does P-J Comix recall his actual first DUmmie FUnniea, which he inserted in other threads, rather than having a freestanding thread?
20 posted on 09/23/2010 4:19:19 PM PDT by franksolich (Scourge of the Primitives, in service to humanity)
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