Moore: Kerry is a Pontiac

Edwards is Pinto.

Edwards has the dough for an AMG SL55. But probably putzs around in a Caddy.

Of course he's a pontiac... lots of flares and crap stuck to the body to make it look impressive... but nothing under the hood... sounds like a good analogy of Kerry to me.

Kerry is a '74 Chrysler product.

Kerry is a nuanced Citroen 2CV

Separated at birth?

Top, Kerry on Botox. Bottom, Kerry in his natural state.

You could draw some parallels to a Rolls Limousine:

1. Impractical for real life.

2. Gives off an aura or pretentiousness and snobbery.

3. Extremely high maintenance.

4. The taxes will kill you.

5. The average American simply can't afford to have one around.

I thought the taxes were paid already....by Pontiac who actually gave the cars.

And just like in real life, I can hardly tell the difference

The anti-Kerry car

GW is a Sport Utility - a big ass Suburban that does hard work rather than breaks down at the most critical time.

I don't want a flintstone mobile running the country's pole position.

I heard on Paul Harvey that these cars were subject not only to gift taxes (which Pontiac may have paid) and income taxes. As a result, most of the recipients sold their vehicles to pay the income taxes. Paul said that Oprah and Pontiac did not anticipate this problem. I thought this was too rich. Big O tries to be sugar mama and instead drops a big one in the laps of these folks.

Definitely! He is a french lemon of a candidate and it is a french lemon of a car (ok I think it is citron in frogese -- close enough).

Drudge has a link to the letter Moore wrote to despondent liberal weenies (http://michaelmoore.com/words/message/)

Some "high"lights:

"Hell no. It's never over for them until the last ballot is shredded. They are never finished -- they just keeping moving forward like sharks that never sleep, always pushing, pulling, kicking, blocking, lying."

A classic case of projection! Blame other's for your own failings!

"They are relentless and that is why we secretly admire them -- they just simply never, ever give up. Only 30% of the country calls itself "Republican," yet the Republicans own it all -- the White House, both houses of Congress, the Supreme Court and the majority of the governorships. How do you think they've been able to pull that off considering they are a minority? It's because they eat you and me and every other liberal for breakfast and then spend the rest of the day wreaking havoc on the planet."

So much crap, so little time! Sure, maybe he is telling the truth about 30% of the country CALLING themselves Republican, but most are CONSERVATIVE, and register as an independent, just as I do. THAT is how we "own" it all: we have a majority!! Stop your bellyaching, Moore (no pun intended. Oh, alright, you have me: pun intended!!)

"Look at us -- what a bunch of crybabies. Bush gets a bounce after his convention and you would have thought the Germans had run through Poland again. The Bushies are coming, the Bushies are coming! Yes, they caught Kerry asleep on the Swift Boat thing. Yes, they found the frequency in Dan Rather and ran with it. Suddenly it's like, "THE END IS NEAR! THE SKY IS FALLING!""

Notice the subtle Nazi reference (from the guy that acts most like Josef Goebbels!). Moore is just pissed off because the tiny "bump" Kerry got from his "59 Deceits" movie was tiny and transient (please, no Micheal Moore erection comparisons here!) Kerry wasn't "asleep" on the Swiftee thing: he was hiding! Rather was a sloppy, partisan "journalist" and got caught. LOL!

"No, it is not. If I hear one more person tell me how lousy a candidate Kerry is and how he can't win... Dammit, of COURSE he's a lousy candidate -- he's a Democrat, for heavens sake! That party is so pathetic, they even lose the elections they win! What were you expecting, Bruce Springsteen heading up the ticket? Bruce would make a helluva president, but guys like him don't run -- and neither do you or I. People like Kerry run."

At last!! A nugget of truth: "Kerry is a lousy candidate!"
"Democrats are pathetic!" BOO HOO!! LOL!!! Yeah, get Springsteen to run!! Now THAT would be funny!

"Yes, OF COURSE any of us would have run a better, smarter, kick-ass campaign. Of course we would have smacked each and every one of those phony swifty boaty bastards down. But WE are not running for president -- Kerry is. So quit complaining and work with what we have. Oprah just gave 300 women a... Pontiac! Did you see any of them frowning and moaning and screaming, "Oh God, NOT a friggin' Pontiac!" Of course not, they were happy. The Pontiacs all had four wheels, an engine and a gas pedal. You want more than that, well, I can't help you. I had a Pontiac once and it lasted a good year. And it was a VERY good year."

So anyone is better than Kerry! Works for me! As for the "phony swifty boaty bastards," any single one of them has more class, veracity, and honor than Kerry ever dreamt of on his wildest Cambodian fantasy ride! It is easy to call the Swiftees "phony" Moore, but proof is another thing. Neither you, nor Kerry have that in your toolboxes of mischeif and deceit!

For a guy that pretends to be the friend of the American autoworker (even his email address insinuates that he lived in Flint once, a long time ago), he has no problem belittling an American car, a Pontiac. Just because he can't fit in anything smaller than a Hummer limo or a dumptruck, is no reason to smear4 a Pontiac.

"1. The polls are wrong. They are all over the map like diarrhea. On Friday, one poll had Bush 13 points ahead -- and another poll had them both tied. There are three reasons why the polls are b.s.: One, they are polling "likely voters." "Likely" means those who have consistently voted in the past few elections. So that cuts out young people who are voting for the first time and a ton of non-voters who are definitely going to vote in THIS election. Second, they are not polling people who use their cell phone as their primary phone. Again, that means they are not talking to young people. Finally, most of the polls are weighted with too many Republicans, as pollster John Zogby revealed last week. You are being snookered if you believe any of these polls."

The only diarrhea around here is what is spewing from your fat noisehole, Moore! I didn't hear you kvetching about the polls when they were running in Kerry's favor.

"2. Kerry has brought in the Clinton A-team. Instead of shunning Clinton (as Gore did), Kerry has decided to not make that mistake."

Oh yeah, bring in the mighty Clinton "A" team!! Now we will get to the truth!! ROTFLMAO!

"3. Traveling around the country, as I've been doing, I gotta tell ya, there is a hell of a lot of unrest out there. Much of it is not being captured by the mainstream press. But it is simmering and it is real. Do not let those well-produced Bush rallies of angry white people scare you. Turn off the TV! (Except Jon Stewart and Bill Moyers -- everything else is just a sugar-coated lie)."

Oh, where to begin! Any unrest Moore is seeing is due to his commandeering of popular buffet tables! Yeah, the MSM is really on Bush's side all along!! What color is the sky in your little world, Moore? "Well-produced Bush rallies of angry white people?" It is called "a crowd greeting a decent President!" The dour faces at Kerry rallies, usually well filtered, invitation only events, are due to the fact that Kerry is pathetic. Look at his reception at the NG meeting last week. He is lucky he wasn't attacked!

Yeah, Jon Stewart and Bill Moyers are the great truth tellers in the media!! I think such strong praise from a fellow lying liberal and serial fabricator such as yourself says it all.

"4. Conventional wisdom says if the election is decided on "9/11" (the fear of terrorism), Bush wins."

Then why does the liberal media and the DNC have such a cow when Bush uses images from 9/11 in his campaign commercials?

"But if it is decided on the job we are doing in Iraq, then Bush loses. And folks, that "job," you might have noticed, has descended into the third level of a hell we used to call Vietnam. There is no way out. It is a full-blown mess of a quagmire and the body bags will sadly only mount higher. Regardless of what Kerry meant by his original war vote, he ain't the one who sent those kids to their deaths -- and Mr. and Mrs. Middle America knows it."

Our brave soldiers, "Mr. and Mrs. Middle America," and even Kerry know why we are in Iraq. The soldiers know, and have said, that if they weren't getting shot at by terrorists in Iraq, "Mr. and Mrs. Middle America" would be getting shot at in the streets of America. The only people benefiting from Moore's seditious and unpatriotic free speech are the terrorists and Moore himself.

"Had Bush bothered to show up when he was in the "service" he might have somewhat of a clue as to how to recognize an immoral war that cannot be "won." All he has delivered to Iraq was that plasticized turkey last Thanksgiving. It is this failure of monumental proportions that is going to cook his goose come this November."

Ah yes, time to repeat the BIG LIE again! Why not have Dan Rather do another surprise expose on it!! LOL!

"They need you to wish we had a candidate who didn't windsurf and who was just as smart as we were when WE knew Bush was lying about WMD and Saddam planning 9/11."

Oh yeah. You knew everything! I guess that is why you have to make movies that use "creative editing" to fabricate your talking points and lies. If it were so damned obvious, you could make a TRUE documentary about it. The fact that you can't proves you are a liar.

"WAKE UP! The majority are with us! More than half of all Americans are pro-choice, want stronger environmental laws, are appalled that assault weapons are back on the street -- and 54% now believe the war is wrong. YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO CONVINCE THEM OF ANY OF THIS -- YOU JUST HAVE TO GIVE THEM A RAY OF HOPE AND A RIDE TO THE POLLS. CAN YOU DO THAT? WILL YOU DO THAT?"

Where is the big jump in assault weapon crimes? I don't see it. Michael: are you really so ignorant as to believe that criminals buy their guns legally and subject themselves to FBI scrutiny. Do you think they would wait as long as the honest, law abiding 99.98% of gun owners do for their weapons? If so, you are more deluded than even I suspected. Oh yeah, I guess you are: you had to fabricate your other crocumentary "Bowling for Columbine" to prop up your lies. As for pollution, if Moore and the rest of the livestock would simply stop farting after grazing, the level of greenhouse gasses would drop precipitously!

"Just for me, please? Buck up. The country is almost back in our hands. Not another negative word until Nov. 3rd! Then you can bitch all you want about how you wish Kerry was still that long-haired kid who once had the courage to stand up for something. Personally, I think that kid is still inside him. Instead of the wailing and gnashing of your teeth, why not hold out a hand to him and help the inner soldier/protester come out and defeat the forces of evil we now so desperately face. Do we have any other choice?"

Yeah, maybe that horse faced, long haired "kid" can get another generation of soldiers killed and POWs tortured for his selfish political advantage.

This is one of the wackiest analogies ever. John Kerry is compared to getting a free car on Oprah? I'd like to ridicule the analogy, but I can't even make sense of it.