Posted on 09/03/2004 6:39:16 PM PDT by RealStupid
Windsurfing Kerry Zig-Zags, Flip-Flops, Declares 'Fishin' Accomplished' 09/01/04 MARTHA'S VINEYARD, Massachusetts
At a private beach near Martha's Vineyard today, Democrat presidential nominee John Kerry wrestled with strong and turbulent winds that threatened to sink his vessel.
Kerry first got into trouble when he launched his fragile, wind-driven craft without carefully checking the speed and direction of the prevailing middle-easterlies.
This oversight was compounded when the senator began zig-zagging erratically across the dappled waters of Nantucket Sound, unable, apparently, to sail in a straight line.
Then, as Kerry leaned precipitously to the right, a savage rush of hot air flipped his windsurfing board nearly upside-down, causing him to flop unceremoniously into the water.
Later, at an impromptu press conference outside a beachside Port-o-Let, Kerry characteristically blamed a female secret service agent for the mishap, claiming that she distracted him when she sped right in front of him with a wad of $1000 bills flapping recklessly out of her pocket.
Senator Kerry finished his latest adventure by going deep-sea fishing off the Massachusetts coast, where he posed for photos with a five-foot carp beneath a banner reading, "Fishin' Accomplished."
©2004 RealStupidNews.com
For more RealStupid coverage of Senator Kerry's candidacy:
John Kerry Caught in Gay Love Affair with His Hair
John Kerry Denies, Admits Flip-Flopping on the Issues
Kerry Yo-Yos Again on Vietnam Medals Issue
John Kerry Travels to India to 'Find Himself'
He calls you and I common.
It's the drinking!
Windsurfer Kerry:
Even his hobby relies on which way the wind blows.
He even (flip) flops in the water.
Kerry's haircuts cost more than most of the cars I've driven.
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