VANITY: The "Truth" about JimRob and Free Republic according to BADJOE

LibertyPost.org | 10/10/03 | BADJOE (Slightly revised by JimRob)

[Jim Robinson]

Dear Free Republic Friends,

My old friend and brother-in-arms BADJOE has promised to warm the cockles of our hearts by publishing an expose (the truth about JimRob and Free Republic according to Joe) on the 18th of this month, which represents the one year anniversary of the date he last posted to FreeRepublic.com and started up with LibertyPost.org.

So, as I believe that only the truth can set you free, and based upon the stratergery of pre-emptive strike, I have a confession to make (before BADJOE makes it public):

I have poisoned the well.

By my sly innuendos behind the scenes.

By my intellectual ineptitude.

By not trusting those that brung me to the dance to bring me home.

By my biting every hand that fed me.

By my arrogance that causes me to think I did it all by myself.

By my stubborness not because of principle, but because of my lack of ability to see what is transpiring.

Evidenced by:

One would think that with half again as many Freepers. with a recovering economy, It would take a great deal less time to raise the necessary funds.

By this time in the June 2002 effort with a goal of $70,000 we had raised $73,000. Not because of who did the fundraising, but because the sense of purpose, of family, of comaraderie, was still present.

BADJOE rang the warning bell, but none heard.

Conclusion:

It is a sad day.

For what was once a great hope, a means of bringing together those who are willing to pay dearly in blood, sweat, and money to save this country, we all love, has been reduced to an asterisk.

So sayeth BADJOE as he promises to publish all this and much more on the 18th. He's been feverishly working on this "project" for one full year. In addition to the "truth about JimRob" BADJOE intends to further betray our trust placed in him by revealing the names of our moderators. And who knows what else?

I can hardly wait.

Is it the 18th yet? Tick, tock.

[Chad Fairbanks]

ROTFL... THe Man/Kzin Wars were a great set of books ;0)

[Chad Fairbanks]

Well, I don't care if it rains or freezes,
Long as I have my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
I could go a hundred miles and hour
Long as I got the Almighty Power
Glued up there with my fuzzy dice

{Refrain - repeat between every verse}
Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Through all trials and tribulations,
We will travel every nation,
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far.

I don't care if it rains or freezes
As long as I've got my Plastic Jesus
Glued to the dashboard of my car,
You can buy Him phosphorescent
Glows in the dark, He's Pink and Pleasant,
Take Him with you when you're travelling far


I don't care if it's dark or scary
Long as I have magnetic Mary
Ridin' on the dashboard of my car
I feel I'm protected amply
I've got the whole damn Holy Family
Riding on the dashboard of my car

You can buy a Sweet Madonna
Dressed in rhinestones sitting on a
Pedestal of abalone shell
Goin' ninety, I'm not wary
'Cause I've got my Virgin Mary
Guaranteeing I won't go to Hell

I don't care what they say, I'm gonna
Keep on prayin' to that pink madonna
Melted to the dashboard of my car.
Goin' ninety, I'm not wary
'Cause I've got my Virgin Mary
Guaranteeing I won't go to Hell

I don't care if it bumps or jostles
Long as I got the Twelve Apostles
Bolted to the dashboard of my car
Don't I have a pious mess
Such a crowd of holiness
Strung across the dashboard of my car

{Refrain}

No, I don't care if it rains or freezes
Long as I have my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
But I think he'll have to go
His magnet ruins my radio
And if we have a wreck he'll leave a scar

{Refrain}

Riding through the thoroughfare
With his nose up in the air
A wreck may be ahead, but he don't mind
Trouble coming, he don't see
He just keeps his eyes on me
And any other thing that lies behind

Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Though the sun shines on his back
Makes him peel, chip, and crack
A little patching keeps him up to par

When pedestrians try to cross
I let them know who's boss
I never blow my horn or give them warning
I ride all over town
Trying to run them down
And it's seldom that they live to see the morning

Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
His halo fits just right
And I use it as a sight
And they'll scatter or they'll splatter near and far

When I'm in a traffic jam
He don't care if I say Damn
I can let all sorts of curses roll
Plastic Jesus doesn't hear
For he has a plastic ear
The man who invented plastic saved my soul

Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Once his robe was snowy white
Now it isn't quite so bright
Stained by the smoke of my cigar

God made Christ a Holy Jew
God made Him a Christian too
Paradoxes populate my car
Joseph beams with a feigned elan
From the shaggy dash of my furlined van
Famous cuckold in the master plan

Naughty Mary, smug and smiling
Jesus dainty and beguiling
Knee-deep in the piling of my van
His message clear by night or day
My phosphorescent plastic Gay
Simpering from the dashboard of my van

When I'm goin' fornicatin
I got my ceramic Satan
Sinnin' on the dashboard of my Winnebago Motor Home
The women know I'm on the level
Thanks to the wild-eyed stoneware devil
Ridin' on the dashboard of my Winnebago Motor Home
Sneerin' from the dashboard of my Winnebago Motor Home
Leering from the dashboard of my van

If I weave around at night
And the police think I'm tight
They'll never find my bottle, though they ask
Plastic Jesus shelters me
For His head comes off, you see
He's hollow, and I use Him for a flask

Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Ride with me and have a dram
Of the blood of the Lamb
Plastic Jesus is a holy bar

[Jim Robinson]

Hey, I think I heard a song about that once. Goes something like this: One toke over the line sweet Jesus, one toke over the line.

Well, guess you had to be there.

(Now the antifreepers have even more evidence that Jim did weed in the sixties or was it the seventies. Man, how the time flys.)

Connect the dots....

[AndrewC]

(Rushing to my Strong's Concordance to see if Jesus also said, "You shore got a purdy mouth!")

Nope, the opposite. Jesus, quoting Isaiah,

Mat 15:8 This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoureth me with [their] lips; but their heart is far from me.

[Chad Fairbanks]

Brewer and Shipley! LOL

[strela]

SKYKING DO NOT ANSWER

SKYKING DO NOT ANSWER

EMERGENCY ACTION MESSAGE FOLLOWS

CODE WORD: JERICHO
DESIGNATOR: COTTONMOUTH
DAY WORD: TRINITY

ZOT ZOT ZOT

EMERGENCY ACTION MESSAGE ENDS

[strela]

---> was going to say Zager and Evans, just to show off ;)

[#3Fan]

Yeah, but we'll get through it - I hope.

We're OK until the next news story comes out. Just kidding, I hope.

[TomServo]

Great Song, Jim!

One Toke Over The Line Brewer & Shipley

One toke over the line sweet Jesus
One toke over the line
Sittin' downtown in a railway station
One toke over the line

Awaitin' for the train that goes home, sweet Mary
Hopin' that the train is on time
Sittin' downtown in a railway station
One toke over the line

Whoooo do you love, I hope it's me
I've bin a changin', as you can plainly see
I felt the joy and I learned about the pain that my momma said
If I should choose to make a part of me, surely strike me dead
Now I'm one toke over the line sweet Jesus
One toke over the line
Sittin' downtown in a railway station
One toke over the line
I'm waitin' for the train that goes home sweet Mary
Hopin' that the train is on time
Sittin' downtown in a railway station
One toke over the line

I bin away a country mile,
Now I'm returnin' showin' off a smile
I met all the girls and loved myself a few
Ended by surprise like everything else I've been through
It opened up my eyes and now I'm
One toke over the line sweet Jesus
One toke over the line
Sittin' downtown in a railway station
Don't you just know I waitin' for the train that goes home sweet Mary
Hopin' that the train is on time
Sittin' downtown in a railway station
One toke over the line

Don't you just know I waitin' for the train that goes home sweet Mary
Hopin' that the train is on time
Sittin' downtown in a railway station
One toke over the line

I want to be
One toke over the line sweet Jesus
One toke over the line
Sittin' downtown in a railway station
One toke over the line
Don't you just know I waitin' for the train that goes home sweet Mary
Hopin' that the train is on time
Sittin' downtown in a railway station
One toke over the line
Sittin' downtown in a railway station
One toke over line
One toke, one toke over the line

[Fledermaus]

uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, huh huh, uh huh...he said "toke"

[Chad Fairbanks]

Sorry, sunspots. All we got was...


SK DO NO WER

SK DO NO WER

EMERGE ACT MESS LOWS

COD OR: JERI
DESIGN: MOUTH
DAY : T ITY

ZO Z T OT

EENCY A TIN MESSAGE ENDS

[Shryke]

Heh, that's a good idea. I just remembered my favorite line from that tirade: "I wave my privates at your aunties!".

[AndrewC]

SKYKING DO NOT ANSWER

There were always two SKYKINGs.

SKYKING, SKYKING DO NOT ANSWER. ...

[#3Fan]

But he (Chad) did once confide in me that he thought he could've beat Dale in a go-cart.

Uh oh, Christmas didn't last long. :^)

[Poohbah]

Are you SURE this message is right? Jeez, we lob a SRAM at Zhigulsk, then fly a thousand or so miles across a VERY PO'd Russia and drop a gravity bomb on a target that says "NOT AN OPPORTUNITY TARGET" right here in the tippy-top secret end of the target folder? Are the guys on Nightwatch just NUTS?

[Chad Fairbanks]

Well, I'll behave if you will - we can have our own "Compact" like the CREVOS LOL

[bicycle thug]

The Man/Kzin Wars are indeed a tree Ringworld Circus of entertainment.

Even though no human I know would want to put their head inside the jaws of those intelligent cats. Not even Louis Wu.

[Sabertooth]

This person seems a bit demented

Yes.

[strela]

Go "BI"! Go "BI"!

(Its an old cryptologist's joke ... you hadda be there ...) ;)

[TomServo]

Uh oh, Christmas didn't last long. :^)

Just my idea of Silly String. ;-)