Oral-sex issue hits middle schools (posted 6/10/2002)

Isolated incidents of oral sex on campus and talk among middle-school students of the behavior occurring at off-campus parties has alarmed some Fayette County school administrators and parents who plan meetings on the topic.

Physicians, including one who has seen an increase in sexually transmitted diseases among middle school students, and other professionals are promoting frank discussions about oral sex to discourage students from engaging in it. Still, all agree the practice is limited to a small number of students, some of whom do not equate oral sex to intercourse.

Since Beaumont Middle School principal Tom Mowery wrote to parents in December asking them "to be aware of the prevalence of oral sex at off-campus parties at the middle-school level," administrators at one school referred an incident to law enforcement, and administrators at another school, Jessie Clark Middle, called in parents to discuss a situation.

Diane Woods, the district's middle school director, put the topic on the agenda for a future principals meeting. She said she was notified of a report of oral sex occurring between two students on campus at Tates Creek Middle School several weeks ago.

Without releasing specifics, Tates Creek Middle School assistant principal Earl Stivers said the incident was investigated "both by law enforcement and administratively."

Students' remarks have made doctors and parents fear the activity is more widespread.

Dr. Hatim Omar, a University of Kentucky specialist in adolescent medicine, said that just since January, he has treated at least 10 middle school-age students for sexually transmitted diseases they said they had contracted through oral sex. That's up from six cases in 2001 and two each in 1999 and 2000.

Four students, treated for tonsillitis caused by gonorrhea, attributed their conditions to so-called "head parties," Omar said.

Also since January, he has seen students from every middle school in Fayette County who admit that they have engaged in oral sex or attended parties where students have engaged in oral sex.

Parents and administrators are responding. Besides principals addressing the topic, Beaumont PTA president Debbie Boian wants middle school PTA leaders to discuss developing programs at each school to talk to students about risky behavior.

"It's easy to say, 'Oh those kids are just bragging about having oral sex,'" Boian said. "But if there is any truth to it, you should" address the issue.

Nationally, public-health experts report that teen-agers appear to be engaging in high-risk sexual practices without caution and with alarming casualness. Nearly 1 in 10 reports losing his or her virginity before the age of 13, a 15 percent increase since 1997, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. According to several surveys, as many as half of teens ages 13 to 19 say they have had oral sex. Other communities across the country are grappling with the problem and are instituting policies that require more supervision and education.

Lexington pediatrician Tom Pauly said his patients are asking him about oral sex and telling him they think it's safer than vaginal intercourse.

"It's a new issue," said Bryan Station Middle Counselor Lynette Schmiedeknecht. "It's more part of the culture, more talked about. It seems that in talking with the kids, they don't consider oral sex (to be) sex. They just think it's something they do as an adolescent."

Dealing with incidents directly and speaking bluntly with middle school students is key to helping them understand the ramifications of their decisions, parents and doctors said. Damage to reputations and illnesses are two of the dangers.

"We advise them to abstain," Pauly said. "We talk about medical complications and the psychosocial complications of engaging in oral sex at such a young age."

After Jessie Clark Middle students talked about the popularity of oral sex with an assistant principal this spring, principal Steve Carmichael said: "We invited two moms to come in and shared our concerns. It wasn't a conversation as awkward as you might think. We would rather overreact than underreact."

Mike Kennedy, acting health education coordinator, said that until 1990, the district had a sex education curriculum. But now, site-based councils at each school are responsible for deciding what kind of sex education is dispensed, he said.

Seven middle schools offer programs that teach abstinence only, Kennedy said. Other schools cover sex education in health classes. But Kennedy said he doesn't think oral sex is discussed anywhere as part of the middle school curriculum.

At Beaumont, principal Mowery said the quick intervention -- writing to parents -- was successful. Parents responded to meetings about how to discuss sexual issues with their children. And as the year progressed, counselors and administrators had fewer kids talking about the parties.

"Ninety percent of our kids," he said, "make good decisions in every aspect of their lives."

I don't think having sex will cure your loneliness - and it will quite likely make you feel worse - when you realize that people have engaged you for sex, but not for YOU. Try finding a partner in life, whom you truly love, and with whom you can share everything.

Oh, I'm not even seriously entertaining the idea of "playing the field." That would require the active cooperation of at least one member of the other major gender, and I'm... comfortable with celibacy. I mean strict celibacy, too, not just sexlessness. It has its advantages, in a greater amount of disposable income, for one. ;-) For another, I can spend time taking care of my parents. So, I'm arguing this not to defend promiscuity, but rather more as a devil's advocate, with the thoughts I have fought myself.

One issue is attractiveness. Even a random act of sex requires said active cooperation, and that in itself is some validation of my worth. Being frank, being attractive to other humans is a nice thing. It makes us feel good when we know we're wanted. Even if it is only for a short while...

Of course, after the disgust subsides, the emptiness must be filled, and that's usually with another short-term relationship. So, once one's started down that road, it's difficult to get off it; finding something other than a short-term sexual relationship to fill one's soul rapidly is a challenge.

The other question is related; if everybody else is having it, why can't I? Forming that question leads to serious questions of one's own worth, as noted above.

Thanks for this discussion.

What I'd tell kids about oral sex is that it's a bit like smoking cigarettes: the fact that a lot of people do it doesn't make it a terribly smart thing to be doing. In fact if there's any one part of the human body where you'd go looking for unusual germs and viruses to invent new kinds of VD from, it's probably our mouths. Unless you're irradiating all the food and water you ever eat or drink and probably all the air...

But oral sex isn't the true Klintler legacy; the true klintler legacy is TCD Syndrome.

Legacies come in many forms. Take Lou Gehrig for instance; Gehrig was one of the all-time great baseball players, and is yet chiefly remembered for having a heretofore unrecognized disease named after him. The same may ultimately hold true of Slick.

There are several inherent problems with trying to set the numeric records ala Don Giovanni and make it with literally hundreds of different women over a course of a few years. One is that the first thing which goes straight out the window is any notion of quality; you'll see these guys come home with Marilyn Monroe one night, and then Aunt Jemima (or something like Monica Lewinski which looks like the centerfold of some livestock journal) the next, with the same stupid shit-eating grin on their faces, since it's all really just the same to them.

Another problem in the case of politicians is that they make prime targets for blackmail and manipulation of themselves by conducting themselves like that. Slick couldn't get the simplest kind of security clearance which you'd need to be a janitor or a guard at the gate at any military base in America, and he's supposed to be commander in chief of our armed forces. That's insane. Another problem in the case of liberals particularly, is that it appears to be a vanishingly small step from believing oneself above man's laws to believing oneself above things like the laws of physics and the law of averages. For instance, thinking "I'm a Kennedy; there's no reason on Earth why I shouldn't be able to ski downhill, operate a camcorder, and play football all at the same time, the trees will get out of the way!" Or, in the case of Slick, thinking he could put the make on 50 different women in one day and that all 50 would be happy about it.

Something like that could lead to a psychic problem with taking "no" for an answer and, if we're to believe even a small fraction of what we read, it has. The claim which you read around the net is that the Paula Jones testimony includes something like a dozen different allegations of sexual assault and rape, that Slick has been out of control for a long time, and that a professional organization has been in place to keep a lid on this by means of bribery, intimidation, and whatever else gets the job done, and that this has invariably worked because, in each individual case, you had some poor woman on her own without any real resources up against an organization with the resources of one of the fifty states.

And then there's the problem of VD. Matt Drudge reported (11/2/98) that:

"White House intern Monica Lewinsky told Linda Tripp that President Clinton would cancel dates with her when he was flared with blisters, the DRUDGE REPORT has learned from multiple sources in and out of government..."

Ouch!!! But, bad as herpes or whatever that is might be, TCD syndrome is a lot worse (e.g. http://www.nypost.com/102798/news/5800.htm):

"...The documents also include Jones' description of Clinton's distinguishing characteristic.
'His penis_ was ... crooked and gross. You know. That was the word she used, Jones' sister Lydia Cathey said in a deposition...

My own judgement is that that sort of thing does not come from microorganisms or viruses, but rather from close encounters with doors (in this case, probably a limo door and some chick who, like Paula, didn't want to hear about it), i.e.

Kiss it?? %### YOU, you STINKING PERVERT!!!!
SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMM!!!!!!!!

and hence the designation TCD (Tallywhacker Caught in Door) syndrome. As a child I had a cat with feline TCD (Tail Caught in Door) syndrome, and hence recognize the symptom.

And thus we come to the question of Slick's legacy, aside from being the only elected president ever to be impeached in the 200+ year history of the republic. As in the case of Gehrig, I suspect that Clinton's chief legacy will be having a new disease named after him, and that TCD syndrome will come to be known as "Slick Clinton's Disease".

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