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To: yendu bwam
I don't think having sex will cure your loneliness - and it will quite likely make you feel worse - when you realize that people have engaged you for sex, but not for YOU. Try finding a partner in life, whom you truly love, and with whom you can share everything.

Oh, I'm not even seriously entertaining the idea of "playing the field." That would require the active cooperation of at least one member of the other major gender, and I'm... comfortable with celibacy. I mean strict celibacy, too, not just sexlessness. It has its advantages, in a greater amount of disposable income, for one. ;-) For another, I can spend time taking care of my parents. So, I'm arguing this not to defend promiscuity, but rather more as a devil's advocate, with the thoughts I have fought myself.

One issue is attractiveness. Even a random act of sex requires said active cooperation, and that in itself is some validation of my worth. Being frank, being attractive to other humans is a nice thing. It makes us feel good when we know we're wanted. Even if it is only for a short while...

Of course, after the disgust subsides, the emptiness must be filled, and that's usually with another short-term relationship. So, once one's started down that road, it's difficult to get off it; finding something other than a short-term sexual relationship to fill one's soul rapidly is a challenge.

The other question is related; if everybody else is having it, why can't I? Forming that question leads to serious questions of one's own worth, as noted above.

Thanks for this discussion.

390 posted on 06/10/2002 9:16:14 PM PDT by Chemist_Geek
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To: Chemist_Geek
Hey, you may be surprised one day, when that person of the other gender enters your life and you both realize you were created for each other. I had some despair to, before that happened to me. Countless other people, friends and acquaintances, have recounted the same story to me. Have faith...and good luck! Best, yendu bwam
391 posted on 06/10/2002 9:25:51 PM PDT by yendu bwam
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