Posted on 02/15/2023 7:13:06 AM PST by algore
CAPE CORAL, Fla. — Sometimes the situation just calls for a cold one.
Just before midnight on February 8th, Lee County Sheriff’s deputies drove North on Chiquita Boulevard. As they approached Gleason Parkway, something caught their eye. A black Mercedes-Benz parked in the opposite lane.
The vehicle was just sitting there. Lights on. With no traffic causing the stoppage. Deputies crept behind the car, flicked on their flashing lights, and tried to determine if the vehicle might have been abandoned.
As they approached the vehicle, they found 40-year-old Michael Sereda sitting alone in the passenger seat.
Beer cans littered the vehicle’s floor and lined the front cup holders. 24-packs of Michelob Ultra and Bud Light were torn into and drained as casualties were visibly scattered at Sereda’s feet.
Deputies attempted to begin a line of dialogue, but according to the Arrest Report, Sereda was “unable to speak” due to his level of intoxication. Now in need of support, Cape Coral Police’s assistance was requested, and the deputy waited for backup.
Then came the unmistakable sound. kr-Pop-tss-SSS.
In plain view of deputies, Sereda reached into the pile of fallen aluminum soldiers and pulled out a hidden treasure. An unopened beer.
Deputies, deciding Sereda had clearly reached his limit, declared it was the last call and reached out to remove the hoppy beverage. At the risk of spilling his beer, Sereda began to fight back until deputies were able to remove him from the vehicle.
Even the security of handcuffs did little to dispel Sereda’s growing aggressions. At one point, deputies used their Taser to subdue the agitated opponent, but it had “zero effect” when striking Sereda’s back. Deputies resorted to physically restraining Sereda until their support came.
With the situation under control, Sereda was taken to a Lee County hospital after sustaining scratches and scrapes during the altercation. He was then taken into custody and brought to the Lee County Jail.
LMAO!
Did yer dad fill his tank with drip?
Michelob Ultra? That ain’t beer.
LOL!
“Back in the 1970s, my dad used to drive on long trips with a beer between his legs.”
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The 70’s were definitely a different time. As a college student I remember taking a girl I just picked up at a bar across the Canadian border at 4am while highly intoxicated. Told border guards I was just going to visit a park on the Canadian side and was waved through without a hitch.
“Then came the unmistakable sound. kr-Pop-tss-SSS. In plain view of deputies, Sereda reached into the pile of fallen aluminum soldiers and pulled out a hidden treasure. An unopened beer.”
That’s some creative writing, right there.
I hate seeing the reports of rape, rioting and jazz music after they smoke, too!
average traffic stop in Florida, must be all those New Yorkers moving in.
If you lived under Cuomo and Hochul, you'd be celebrating with a beer if you escaped to Florida too. :)
Back before I quit, always had nip “travellers”.
Lived in NYC, so was never far from supply of cold ones.
Floor of back seat was inches deep in twist-offs.
Sitting at an apartment window overlooking a stop light on a rather busy street one summer evening, late 70s. The number of drivers with either a beer or drink between their legs when they stopped for the light amazed even me!
[...live alligator...]
You need to upgrade to a high capacity opossum assault marsupial.
Years ago I was working at a printing plant. One of our old guys had a VW Beetle. No back window. No back seat. He kept a 5 gallon bucket in the back during the winter burning wood for heat. We get off 3-11 shift, all meet in the parking lot for a couple of beers and off he goes with the lit bucket in the back and a case of Bud. Next day he shows up for work a little early. Gets in the shower to wash the smoke off him(and beer) and goes to work.
Now that’s hard core!
Of course, he’s dead now. But that’s not the point!
If only...
Great post!
LOL! That is very close to the pinnacle of being a Florida Man! I say "close" because I have no doubt that Florida Man can take it much further than that!
He didn’t offer the officer a beer? That’s just rude.
Bud Light = Migrane
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