And YOU claimed that I write "ugly"? Whatever that idiocy was meant to mean. Just look at this HORSESHIT that you are posting!
;-)
Posted on 11/07/2017 1:15:39 PM PST by drewh
When I was a freshman in college, I thought I met the love of my life. He was cool and fun and sexy, an older frat guy who was good at beer pong and knew exactly how to make me laugh. Within weeks of our first meeting, he became my official boyfriend. Within six months, we moved in together. Another six months later and we were engaged.
It was a whirlwind romance by any definition — except for the fact that I cheated on my boyfriend three times. Despite the heartache it caused, my experience with infidelity taught me a lot about love, relationships, and growing up.
Before college, I had been a serial monogamist. Since my first schoolgirl relationship at 14, I had several long-term boyfriends, and was never single for longer than two months at a time. I lost my virginity the summer before high school, and after that, had been sexually active with my subsequent partners. Despite my "experience," as my friends and future boyfriends would call it, I had no idea what it was like to be in a serious adult relationship — that is, until I went off to college.
That's when I met the man I would date, get engaged to, and inevitably cheat on. That's when I learned what a real romantic relationship was.
The beginning of my relationship with my college boyfriend was like a fairy tale. We were inseparable: He walked me to class, studied with me in the library, ate meals with me, and slept over nearly every night. We partied together on weekends, got to know each other's friends, and started talking about The Future. I was 18, and although I had been in what I had considered a "serious" relationship before, this was the first time I had the freedom to explore what I thought an adult relationship was supposed to be like — love, sex, drama and all.
The first time I cheated on my boyfriend, I wrote it off as a foolish mistake. I was drunk at a concert with a group of friends who found some cute boys for us to hang out with. After a half-dozen 20-ounce beers, a couple of joints, and a few sexy country songs, could I really be help accountable for my drunken actions? I loved my boyfriend, after all, and I knew we were going to be together forever, so what was one stupid mistake?
Even though I tried to write it off as insignificant, a week after I cheated I fessed up to my boyfriend out of sheer guilt. His face crumpled as I admitted, as he had suspected, that something did happen the night of the concert I didn't want to tell him about. His eyes burned with anger when I tried to tell him the same excuse I had been telling myself: I was drunk, and it didn't mean anything.
Eventually, he did forgive me, but after cheating, there was a distance between us that no amount of time seemed to be able to close. Something had changed in our relationship, and it wasn't just broken trust on behalf of my boyfriend. It was an uneasy feeling in my gut and a tiny voice in my head that said, But what if you did mean it?
Something had changed in our relationship, and it wasn't just broken trust on behalf of my boyfriend. It was an uneasy feeling in my gut and a tiny voice in my head that said, But what if you did mean it?
The second time I cheated on my boyfriend was no drunken mistake, and both of us knew it. After partying with friends, I ended up at a former crush's house and quite predictably, one thing lead to another and we slept together. The next day, that uneasy feeling in my gut had some company: pure guilt, and an overwhelming sense of being a truly terrible person. The voice got louder too, and started to say more: You did mean it, and this won't be the last time this happens, either.
When I cheated on my boyfriend for the third and last time, he wasn't actually my boyfriend — he was my fiancé. Despite the bumps in our relationship, a combination of our feelings for one another, a heavy dose of hormones, and the idea of finding happily ever after kept hurtled us towards a disastrous engagement that would only last seven uncomfortable months.
A month before it all fell apart, I cheated on my then-fiancé with another former crush, and even before our lips touched, I knew I was doing something wrong, but that I wouldn't regret it. I needed this infidelity to get me out of my relationship, something I knew deep down needed to happen, but something I was too weak and too immature to do on my own. So I cheated — again — and it served as one last sign that not only were my fiancé and I not meant to be, but I was not mature enough to really be with anyone.
That's the biggest lesson cheating taught me: that fidelity is an exercise in trust and maturity, one that not everyone can perform. I certainly couldn't at age 20, and it showed me that not only was I not ready for a serious monogamous relationship with my ex, but that I was not ready for a serious monogamous relationship at all. I may have felt like an adult, but I didn't have the relationship experience, communication skills, patience, or empathy to embark on a forever kind of love I so desperately wanted to have. I was selfish, uncaring, immature, and too caught up in the idea of what relationships are supposed to be, rather than what my relationship was actually like.
Cheating ripped away the false narrative about my relationship that I had created — we were in love, and with love came pain and drama — and instead illuminated my love, or lack thereof, for what it was: hurtful and ugly and so necessary for me to become the faithful person I am today.
Cheating ripped away the false narrative about my relationship that I had created — we were in love, and with love came pain and drama — and instead illuminated my love, or lack thereof, for what it was: hurtful and ugly and so necessary for me to become the faithful person I am today.
They say once a cheater, always a cheater, but after my experience, I can say that phrase is patently false. Cheating on my boyfriend multiple times taught me invaluable, albeit painful, lessons in love and relationships, on adulthood and maturity, on growing up. My actions showed me that relationships take a lot of work, not just together, but within oneself. It can't be forced, it can't be rushed, and it can't be half-hearted. When it is, people — yourself, your partner, your loved ones — get hurt.
Cheating taught me that kind of hurt never quite goes away.
Of course I remember when some knocked up kid, whose sperm donor would or couldn't marry her, was sent off to have the baby in an UNWED MOTHER'S HOME. Being shipped off to Europe or to some far away relative's, or to Japan, to have an abortion, or even *gasp* to an illegal abortionist here, was what was done. That really wasn't all THAT long ago, in the scheme of things.
No, I'm not my own great grandmother...divorce wasn't thought of as something "good", but even back in the 1920s, it wasn't something to be "shamed" for. People got divorced for all kinds of different reasons, even back when it was something quite difficult to do, but it was much more rare.
So, diddums, was it your wife who divorced YOU ? Did she have cause? Not that I think that even if YOU were in the wrong/the reason, that you will admi8t to that. *snicker*
I still call a spade a spade ( I hate PC and refused to give in to it! ), so of course I call the child of an unwed mother a "bastard"; that's what that child is! Want me to go back to Medieval times and use their euphemism..."BORN ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE BLANKET" ?
You don't understand the meaning of the term : "PUBLIC SHAMING"!
Do you know what the term "sent to Coventry" means? If not...look it up!
Now THAT really was PUBLIC SHAMING, as was putting people into stocks, in a public square!
Having rules on how to behave in a civil society, is what works! Oh it's not perfect; nothing was/is, but it worked just fine for the vast majority.
And that's WHY the stinking Commies and their stupid tools worked overtime, back in the '60s and early '70s to tear down all of these rules! And just WHY so many stupid parents, at that time, either just turned a blind eye to what their kids did/were allowed to do, is beyond me and sadly, it is even worse today!
Oh good grief...you can repost the same old damn stupid thing 100 trillion times, but it is NOT going to make it true! All that it does is to keep making you look like a mordant idiot.
Just tell the truth, for a change...you truly don't want us to be your "friends" any more than either of us would want to be in the same state wherein you are; let alone share any space with you. The later would be akin to the play NO EXIT, with which, I'm positive, you've never even heard of, let alone know what it's about.
And as far as "returning" to what once was the norm, the pendulum always swings and so, perhaps not in my lifetime, but most assuredly at some time in the future, yes, societies shall go back to such things as behavior rules that disallow sleeping around, shaking-up, unwed births, etc.! Perhaps, in all of Europe, it'll be because the damned Muslims take completely over and install Sharia law for all, or something else happens.
Are you saying that ONLY married women seek divorces, that NO men do?
Those magazines go back many decades earlier than the 1980s and there was even a radio show, back in the 1940s ( though it probably went back to the ‘30s ) called MY TRUE STORY. All of it, yes ALL of those stories were FICTION, written by struggling writers, no doubt and I’m guess, don’t know for sure, by....MEN!! :-)
Well, you’re on fire tonight, NP. I see most of the big guys who call every woman a slut who doesn’t measure up to Jennifer Jones in Song of Bernadette, have decamped under the withering assault of your vocabulary. There’s power in reading good books as you’ve shown.
I took a time out to watch the final episodes of Upstairs/Downstairs with my husband. He was unprepared for James’ suicide and was naturally devastated! Simon Williams performance in the role was unforgettable. I haven’t watched that episode in years. It was straight out of Turgenev.
Thanks for the apology, though it's a forced one and something you obviously haven't the manners nor morals to have done on your own.
Do NOT, ever again, attempt to engage me in one of your masochistic flame wars; I don't find them to be "fun"/enjoyable, but neither do I back down and/or call on the Mods.
Did you see my post about METROPOLIS? I'd be pleased to hear your view on that movie.
Love your post! :-)
Yes, reading well written books is a boon and expands one's vocabulary. Still and all, I needs must give the great man, W. S. GILBERT his due. I quite literally cut my baby teeth on and learned many wonderful, magical words from his poetry and libretti...as well as from my parents and grandparents, all of whom had extensive vocabularies and didn't baby talk, nor talk down to me. :-)
Yes, Simon Williams' suicide was shattering and very unexpected. But the scene that tears at everyone's heart, is the very last one...Rose leaving, for the last time and then looking back, over her shoulder, on very last time.
haven't seen Upstairs/Downstairs in many decades, but now that you mention it...yes, the end was right out of Turgenev! Brilliant critique!
>>Hey! Maybe, that’s it.
Yeah, that’s part of it - the Robot leading the slave culture.
It’s about group think and worshiping the Molok-hive.
Same issues we have today.
>>Of course one CAN and SHOULD raise a daughter to not fall for that crap.
Yep.
And YOU claimed that I write "ugly"? Whatever that idiocy was meant to mean. Just look at this HORSESHIT that you are posting!
;-)
What I posted is not, by any stretch of the imagination "profanity" and the other poster claimed that it was "bad manners", which it wasn't/isn't either.
Words have specific meanings...go buy yourself the Oxford English Dictionary and memorize it, prior to posting ever again.
This has less than NOTHING whatsoever to do with feminists/the destruction of morals, manners, a society's civil culture! It's a sci-fi, dystopian mishmash,with a PC overlay,re the owner's son, being the "mediator/savior" between the working class and the owners, ending the lowly worker's class warfare/rebellion.
And what's with the "Molok hive" bit?
If anything, the workers act like idiots/Ludites, cutting their noses off to spit their collective faces, ignoring their children, and has less than nothing at all to do with any issues that we have today...except the class warfare bit and even that is a tenuous connection!
And it’s really not all that difficult to do.
One might note in this connection that Protestants tend to view explicit language regarding bodily functions (sexual *or* scatological) as profane but don't mind the occasional "Damn", whereas (say) Catholics or Orthodox are more scandalized by irreverence.
cf for example C.S. Lewis's remarks in Mere Christianity:
Some of the language which chaste women used in Shakespeare's time would have been used in the nineteenth century only by a woman completely abandoned.
or in That Hideous Strength:
"At every moment [Mother Dimble] seemed to join hands with some solemn yet roguish company of busy old women who had been tucking young lovers into beds since the world began with an incongruous mixture of nods and winks and blessings and tears---quite impossible old women in ruffs or wimples who would be making Shakespearean jokes about codpieces and cuckoldry at one moment and kneeling devoutly at altars the next. It was very odd.."
Nice try, though.
Vulgarity is something else again and includes Anglo-Saxon words/terminology, which, FYI...only became "vulgar", as in the coarse meaning of the word "common", once William the Conqueror, also know, in that time as William the bastard" ( since he was born on the wrong side of the sheets or blanket, depending upon the translation from "Old French", because the new "court language" was "Old French"! It took quite a few generations, for the Anglo-Saxon and Old French to kind of merge and it was still more Germanic than English as we know it, by the time of Chaucer.
Please don't try to play word and derivation games with me; I have been fascinated by words since I was three and have made the study of words, phrases,euphemisms, and slang a life long study/hobby.
Where did you get all that you wrote and the CCPed? Wiki? ;^)
Well Genesis nor the OT as I understand never mentions Lilith but it does mention the serpent’s war against the seed of Eve. It goes back to Satan, one of the many ways he keeps the world in turmoil.
The final episode is heartbreaking. Poor Rose, walking through the empty house, listening to the voices of all her long-gone friends. And having lost all her dead fiance’s money through James’ stupidity! Wow.
BTW, I’m a HUGE fan of Metropolis. We have the blu-ray version of it. One of Fritz Lang’s great early classics. He went on to fame in Hollywood directing “Fury” with Spencer Tracy - horrific story about a lynching. Lang was a master of crowd control.
We’re of a generation that revered foreign film and classic American film unlike the people posting here who admire Kung Fu movies.
I taught myself to read at age 3.
Good to see you recognized the quotes as legit. That Hideous Strength was my favorite book growing up. Have you read his “The Allegory of Love” since
you know aught of European language? Language, story, and culture being all intertwined.
Incidentally, higher end dictionaries give the etymology of words, enough to start a Wikipedia search. SJWs always project, and you’ve been acting like one in this thread.
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