nothing new...
Posted on 07/13/2013 8:24:15 PM PDT by nickcarraway
At 11 on a weeknight earlier this year, her work finished, a slim, pretty junior at the University of Pennsylvania did what she often does when she has a little free time. She texted her regular hookup — the guy she is sleeping with but not dating. What was he up to? He texted back: Come over. So she did. They watched a little TV, had sex and went to sleep.
Their relationship, she noted, is not about the meeting of two souls.
“We don’t really like each other in person, sober,” she said, adding that “we literally can’t sit down and have coffee.”
Ask her why she hasn’t had a relationship at Penn, and she won’t complain about the death of courtship or men who won’t commit. Instead, she’ll talk about “cost-benefit” analyses and the “low risk and low investment costs” of hooking up.
“I positioned myself in college in such a way that I can’t have a meaningful romantic relationship, because I’m always busy and the people that I am interested in are always busy, too,” she said.
“And I know everyone says, ‘Make time, make time,’ ” said the woman, who spoke on the condition of anonymity but agreed to be identified by her middle initial, which is A. “But there are so many other things going on in my life that I find so important that I just, like, can’t make time, and I don’t want to make time.”
It is by now pretty well understood that traditional dating in college has mostly gone the way of the landline, replaced by “hooking up” — an ambiguous term that can signify anything from making out to oral sex to intercourse — without the emotional entanglement of a relationship.
(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...
(Shaking head.)
I can tell... she's a catch.
And this:
Keenly attuned to what might give them a competitive edge, especially in a time of unsure job prospects and a shaky economy, many of them approach college as a race to acquire credentials: top grades, leadership positions in student organizations, sought-after internships.
Aside from the sexual aspects of "hooking up", this is a culture of naked ambition and greed. It's narcissistic. To be so driven toward material success and personal power. This is a rot that runs very deep.
As the Founders noted, our system of government works, if society is composed of moral people. We've created a culture of "what's in it for me?"
No system of government can save us now. This has to collapse and burn out the rot.
Shows how nihilistic young people are these days - not surprising given the high divorce rate and huge number of out-of-wedlock births, meaning no father in the family.
My daughter (age 22) tells me WE, her parents are the ONLY intact family among all of her friends, the rest are either children of divorced parents or were raised by single mothers.
Sex in college? Say it ain’t so!
(Shaking head.) x 2
So, dear . . . what's the difference between you and a female dog in heat?
Maybe that the female dog eventually reverts to normalcy?
Don’t give me that. That’s the crap that always shows up on these threads.
It’s NOT the same as it was decades ago.
Yes, people had sex in college in the 1800’s, and the 1920s and the 1950s and the 1980s. We know that it happened.
But not like this. No. It’s mendacious to say that the hook up culture we have today was always there to the degree it is now. The behavior we see today would have been classified as a mental illness not long ago. It’s not AT ALL healthy, and most people know that.
To pass it off as “same old same old” is BAD.
I think it is true that when I was a college-age guy, I’m not going to lie and say that I wouldn’t have wanted to meet a girl like that.
That said, what I find extremely sad about this is the overt repudiation of affection and romance. It would be one thing I think, to have a fling that is meaningless, but it completely different thing to come out and say “I think that meaningful relationships are childish, stupid and boring. I am going to eschew that intentionally, and focus on doing one night stands.”
I’ve always found it extremely sad to hear men say that (though I admit that it has been occasionally humorous as well) and there is something nearly obscene and unseemly seeing this type of thing advocated by a woman.
Many women do have a positive influence on men… We don’t always recognize it or appreciate it, but the truth of the matter is… They do. I find it depressing to think there are women who want to be like men in many ways… The bad ways.
Its not like there has been much change in the last thirty five years.
With the introduction of cheap birth control and abortion women began behaving pretty much the same as men in private.
Now it isn’t even veiled except when they engage in sex with the underaged or hire prostitutes.
ClearCase_guy Is correct in this case, in my opinion.
I can without a doubt, even I never lived in that era, be certain that there was a time in this country not long ago where people would view that kind of attitude with actual shock.
And I certainly don’t think that it was ever prevalent. If there was a woman by the college campus who felt this way, I am pretty sure that the guys all over campus (and the women as well) would do exactly who she was.
There were girls behaving exactly like this in my high school in the seventies. You saw only what you CHOSE to see. Yeah they hid it unless they decided not to get an abortion but the behavior was the same.
I don’t have to shake my head, it’s an easy answer.
She is a pig. A slut. A scumbag.
Not that there is anything wrong with that, but lets call a Spade a Spade. She is a whore.
“Sex in college? Say it ain’t so!”
I heard there’s drinking too!
I had very little success with the ladies.
My friends had very little success with the ladies.
Friends of friends had little success with the ladies.
I knew girls -- they weren't getting much action either, because they were careful and picky.
This was in Boston, at the height of the Disco era, before AIDS.
The way people approach sex today is different than it used to be.
nothing new...
I saw a bit of this sort of thing when I was in college back in the mid-1990s. Not to the degree that it’s probably taking place now, but I did see it. It was not unheard of for a first date to end with a Lewinsky, and I knew or knew of several coeds who were as big a pickup artists as any guy. I will never forget one gal in particular who admitted that she “wasn’t sure” how many partners she had had, but that it was “at least forty.”
University of Pennsylvania, Laz. Write it down: University of Pennsylvania.
It's not something I'm proud of. I'm just saying it happened a lot back in the 70’s and 80’s.
It was part of growing up.
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