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The Class Photo that Broke a Mother’s Heart
yahoo.com ^ | June 17, 2013

Posted on 06/17/2013 5:42:11 PM PDT by grundle

What is wrong with this picture?

It's one of those things that you don't get, until you get it. Unless you are eternally empathetic, you look at this photo and don't see much wrong at all.

To Anne Belanger, mother of Miles, the photo is unbearable to look at.

When the class portrait for her son's Grade 2 class came home, she opened it excitedly, and immediately shoved it back in the envelope. She couldn't look at it. It broke her heart.

Anne's son, Miles, has Spinal Muscular Atrophy. At the age of 13 months, his parents were told that Miles would never walk, he has spent his life in a wheelchair.

Miles knows he's different than the rest of the kids, but he still tries to fit in. So there he is, on the far side of the image, neck craning as far as he can to stretch into the frame with the rest of his friends. He's beaming. It's school picture day and he's thrilled.

But the photo still broke Anne's heart. The photo was a clear example of how set apart her son is from society. Instead of a big group hug photo with Miles at the center, and classmates and teachers all around, a fully inclusive image, he was stuffed off to the side, some 3 feet away. An after thought, it seems.

(Excerpt) Read more at shine.yahoo.com ...


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: chat; classphoto; disabled; schoolphoto; specialneeds; wheelchair
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To: Thumper1960

More beautiful and wise comments.


301 posted on 06/18/2013 7:06:30 AM PDT by little jeremiah (Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point. CSLewis)
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To: Egon

Thank you very much for your comments.


302 posted on 06/18/2013 7:10:57 AM PDT by little jeremiah (Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point. CSLewis)
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To: wardaddy

I don’t think you know just how dehumanizing your post is towards the boy in the picture and other severely disabled children.


303 posted on 06/18/2013 7:20:37 AM PDT by lastchance ("Nisi credideritis, non intelligetis" St. Augustine)
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To: DJ MacWoW
Let's make sure we are clear. I am NOT saying he should be the center of attention or anything like that.

I work with special needs kids all the time (Public school Teacher).

These kids don't want "special" treatment, they want simple consideration. These kids are thrilled to be able to participate in any activity that remotely resembles something the regular ed students do.

I wish I had a video of the Christmas Concert (Yes we call them that here in Virginia) where the SPED class did their version of "Jingle bell Rock" They brought the house down.

Would it really have been that difficult to have the kids move over to one side with the teacher standing next to him? Would it have been difficult to have a row of chairs in front with him him at one end or the other (The front row is all sitting)?

304 posted on 06/18/2013 7:23:18 AM PDT by verga (A nation divided by Zero!)
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To: verga
Would it really have been that difficult to have the kids move over to one side

Since they were on bleachers, yes. It would have made his wheelchair just as obvious. Read the article. They reshot the picture with him on the bleachers and a "helper" holding him upright. How stupid. All they did was make him the focal point.

Again, this is superficial. How did the child feel? We have no idea.

305 posted on 06/18/2013 7:33:24 AM PDT by DJ MacWoW (My faith and politics cannot be separated)
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To: DJ MacWoW; Egon

Ping to post 161. It’s a very good post that will give you some insight.

The parents aren’t asking for their child to be singled out and made the center of attention. That’s what was inadvertently done with the class photo. They’re asking for people to stop doing that. Just include him as a member of the class.

If any other child was separated from the class, for having red hair, or being the son of outspoken conservatives, there would be an uproar. But somehow it’s acceptable to do this to a disabled kid, because he should get used to being treated that way. Sure, he should learn to deal with adversity, but the other children and adults should learn not to impose adversity on others just because they can. They need to learn that even people with disabilities deserve respect.

I’m glad that your MIL learned to deal with being bullied. I would hope that someone had a talk with the other kids about bullying. This kid will eventually learn that a segment of society rejects him because of his disability. I can’t blame his parents for trying to postpone that lesson. While he’s young, and developing what will probably be lifelong perceptions about people in general, it would be nice if he wasn’t segregated from his classmates. And it would be nice if the other kids were taught how treat each other with respect.


306 posted on 06/18/2013 7:46:25 AM PDT by BykrBayb (Somewhere, my flower is there. ~ Þ)
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To: BykrBayb
Stop it! My MiL was NEVER bullied. She was treated as a normal child. I can't believe that you even wrote that trash! Shame on you. She was an extraordinary woman and you demean her with your misplaced PC CRAP!!!! If her parents had coddled her she would have never gone to college, married and had 3 children. She would have never walked again, played with her siblings, had snowball fights or gone sledding. YOU are trying to make her a "cripple" to be pitied. Shame on you!

Tell me where it states how this child feels about the picture. Anywhere? At all?

307 posted on 06/18/2013 7:59:12 AM PDT by DJ MacWoW (My faith and politics cannot be separated)
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To: DJ MacWoW

If her siblings didn’t tease her or throw snowballs at her, why did you say they did? Sorry if I have a hard time keeping up with the changing story. Okay, so now they didn’t bully her.


308 posted on 06/18/2013 8:23:54 AM PDT by BykrBayb (Somewhere, my flower is there. ~ Þ)
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To: lastchance

U should read and the resrt of my posts on this thread what I was replying to before you jumped


309 posted on 06/18/2013 8:27:18 AM PDT by wardaddy (wanna know how myp kin felt during Reconstruction in Mississippi, you fixin to find out firsthand)
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To: Twink

I had not seen your post when I posted and when I did then I replied to you to clarify knowing you would see my braying and agreeing with you about the media reach out being improper


310 posted on 06/18/2013 8:30:00 AM PDT by wardaddy (wanna know how myp kin felt during Reconstruction in Mississippi, you fixin to find out firsthand)
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To: grundle

In any event amid all the bloodshed on this warm feeling thread I have just one last thing to emphatically proclaim

Teacher is most definitely NOT GUILTY!


311 posted on 06/18/2013 8:32:33 AM PDT by wardaddy (wanna know how myp kin felt during Reconstruction in Mississippi, you fixin to find out firsthand)
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To: BykrBayb
You're out of control. They played and included her. They saw her no differently than they did each other.

When did you become a liberal infested with stupidity?

312 posted on 06/18/2013 8:33:09 AM PDT by DJ MacWoW (My faith and politics cannot be separated)
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To: wardaddy

LOL!!


313 posted on 06/18/2013 8:33:37 AM PDT by DJ MacWoW (My faith and politics cannot be separated)
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To: DJ MacWoW

What is wrong with you? You described an incident of bullying, and used it as an example of how this kid should learn to deal with it like your mil did. Now you’re saying that she had to learn how to deal with her siblings playing with her? Well I guess I’m just too stupid to understand what is so bad about being played with, liked, and treated like an equal.


314 posted on 06/18/2013 8:38:35 AM PDT by BykrBayb (Somewhere, my flower is there. ~ Þ)
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To: BykrBayb
You described an incident of bullying

It was NOT bullying. That's a PC term. They were having a snowball fight and included her. When she whined her Father told her to fight back. It was a lesson that she needed to survive in the world. Bullying had NOTHING to do with it. She learned that she COULD do what her siblings did. Today that wouldn't happen. Her parents would be weeping about "bullying" and how cruel her brothers and sisters were. THAT was my point!

and treated like an equal.

She was and you're trying to paint it as being bullied.

In 1916 there was no PC crap. Did her siblings protect her? You bet! She died at the age of 88. Her sister was told to "take care of the baby" by their parents. Her sister died shortly after at age 103. She couldn't die until the "baby" did even though the "baby" had married, had children and taught school. The "baby" was never bullied. She was allowed to grow and flourish. She was NOT coddled. Almost 100 years later and PC stupidity flourishes and common sense has died.

My MiL saw herself as capable even though she had disabilities because her family treated her the way they did.

315 posted on 06/18/2013 8:54:59 AM PDT by DJ MacWoW (My faith and politics cannot be separated)
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To: BykrBayb

Where does it say this child in the picture felt that he wasn’t included?


316 posted on 06/18/2013 9:09:40 AM PDT by DJ MacWoW (My faith and politics cannot be separated)
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To: DJ MacWoW

PC is describing an incident of bullying, and then getting upset when somebody calls it bullying. Now you say they were playing “with” her, but that’s not what you said before. I was responding to what you said, that they teased her and threw snowballs at her, even though she was not fighting back. You said that she complained to the adults.

Now I’m sorry if the picture you painted of her being bullied and turning to the adults for help was not an accurate picture. I expected better from you. That won’t happen again.

I made the mistake of suggesting you read Egon’s post, because I thought you were one of the people who could get it. I don’t know how I could have been so wrong about you, but you don’t have to worry about me making that mistake again. You’ve made yourself crystal clear. You’re perfectly willing to change your story to suit whatever opinion or mood you’re embracing at the moment.

This kid doesn’t need to be toughened up and taught that he isn’t welcome among some people because of his disability. He will learn that soon enough. For right now, his parents have chosen to shield him from this. I once knew a man who thought he could bully his child out of stuttering. That didn’t work so well. And that is not the best approach in this situation either.

It may be appropriate to have a child stick up for herself in a snowball fight with her siblings... Not may be, but is appropriate. But that is in no way the same as this situation. In some ways, it is actually the opposite. Her siblings were including her. This is a case of a child being excluded. Can you see that? Or are you blinded by some unspoken agenda? Because if you are, that would explain why you flew off the handle at me for no reason.


317 posted on 06/18/2013 9:22:54 AM PDT by BykrBayb (Somewhere, my flower is there. ~ Þ)
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To: DJ MacWoW

Where did I say anything about how the child felt? That’s a straw man.


318 posted on 06/18/2013 9:23:46 AM PDT by BykrBayb (Somewhere, my flower is there. ~ Þ)
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To: wardaddy

Well I did give you the benefit of the doubt. And you are right I should have seen the post you were replying to.


319 posted on 06/18/2013 9:26:33 AM PDT by lastchance ("Nisi credideritis, non intelligetis" St. Augustine)
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Comment #320 Removed by Moderator


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