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The Class Photo that Broke a Mother’s Heart
yahoo.com ^ | June 17, 2013

Posted on 06/17/2013 5:42:11 PM PDT by grundle

What is wrong with this picture?

It's one of those things that you don't get, until you get it. Unless you are eternally empathetic, you look at this photo and don't see much wrong at all.

To Anne Belanger, mother of Miles, the photo is unbearable to look at.

When the class portrait for her son's Grade 2 class came home, she opened it excitedly, and immediately shoved it back in the envelope. She couldn't look at it. It broke her heart.

Anne's son, Miles, has Spinal Muscular Atrophy. At the age of 13 months, his parents were told that Miles would never walk, he has spent his life in a wheelchair.

Miles knows he's different than the rest of the kids, but he still tries to fit in. So there he is, on the far side of the image, neck craning as far as he can to stretch into the frame with the rest of his friends. He's beaming. It's school picture day and he's thrilled.

But the photo still broke Anne's heart. The photo was a clear example of how set apart her son is from society. Instead of a big group hug photo with Miles at the center, and classmates and teachers all around, a fully inclusive image, he was stuffed off to the side, some 3 feet away. An after thought, it seems.

(Excerpt) Read more at shine.yahoo.com ...


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: chat; classphoto; disabled; schoolphoto; specialneeds; wheelchair
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To: metmom

There’s a fourth side...whatever.


281 posted on 06/18/2013 3:00:36 AM PDT by who knows what evil? (G-d saved more animals than people on the ark...www.siameserescue.org.)
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To: metmom

Yes, but you wouldn’t deliberately exclude a child from his class photo. Most people wouldn’t. Once people realize that they’re contributing to the isolation, they usually take steps to correct it, and make the person feel welcome. The school and eventually the photography studio rose to the occasion.


282 posted on 06/18/2013 3:12:58 AM PDT by BykrBayb (Somewhere, my flower is there. ~ Þ)
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To: grundle

And here I was expecting to see one of the boys in a dress.......


283 posted on 06/18/2013 3:17:27 AM PDT by Hot Tabasco (This space for rent)
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To: grundle
Obviously a lawyer needs to sue everyone involved to make up for the gross injustice foisted on this poor mommy...

[/sarc]

284 posted on 06/18/2013 3:19:26 AM PDT by Mad Dawgg (If you're going to deny my 1st Amendment rights then I must proceed to the 2nd one...)
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To: grundle

Maybe they should have put them all in wheelchairs so the kid can grow up thinking everyone is the same...


285 posted on 06/18/2013 3:22:56 AM PDT by trebb (Where in the the hell has my country gone?)
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To: GeronL
“How dare my child NOT be the center of attention!!”

That pretty much sums this up


True, the parents are proposing an alternative that would have been at the exact opposite extreme of what happened.

There was another option as well, shift the kids to the side a little bit and have him parked in front of the teacher. Her legs aren't all that great anyways, and it would have allowed for a much tighter shot of the entire group.
286 posted on 06/18/2013 3:37:23 AM PDT by tanknetter
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To: grundle
Dumb...the teacher should've been in the space between the wheel chair and the class, or maybe two kids....one kneeling and one standing.

Both the teacher and the photographer could maybe make that mistake, but upon seeing it should've retaken the picture. I honestly thought teachers were trained about how to avoid situations like this.

287 posted on 06/18/2013 3:43:06 AM PDT by grania
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To: Twink

Yes, Twink, perhaps you shouldn’t have fallen into the flame war, but I agree with you. We used to as a society raise our children to contribute for the better of the group and not raise their needs as individuals above those of the many.

That meant compassion and consideration for those with special needs. But it didn’t mean that the parents of a special needs kid got to commandeer an entire band or school play or sports team or whatever for the sake of a kid who didn’t have the capability to contribute positively without detracting from others’ ability to enjoy the group.

There are two sides to the equation of being considerate of others, and in our whiny and litigious modern society the consideration of the group is IMO too often forgotten.


288 posted on 06/18/2013 3:46:35 AM PDT by 9YearLurker
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Comment #289 Removed by Moderator

To: wardaddy

I imagine that crippled child knows plenty about the real world enough already trapped in a chair with a death sentence on their poor head at such a young age


I think you are right. That is probably why he looks so happy. Seriously.


290 posted on 06/18/2013 4:20:04 AM PDT by cuban leaf (Were doomed! Details at eleven.)
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To: huldah1776

A veteran would know there are far worse things than being off to the side because they are using bleachers.


291 posted on 06/18/2013 4:22:40 AM PDT by AppyPappy (Obama: What did I not know and when did I not know it?)
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To: maine-iac7
You'd never make it as an Empath.

Feel better now?

292 posted on 06/18/2013 4:24:47 AM PDT by raybbr (People who still support Obama are either a Marxist or a moron. No, they are both.)
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To: Twink; LibsRJerks
I'm not sure exactly what has struck a nerve with you, but my generalizations of IEP meetings are based on my experiences as a participant.

Most (although certainly not all... hence the generalization) parents simply sit through the meetings with little input. The special education teacher leads the meeting, covering the points required by law, then there's a roundtable discussion concerning the child's observed progress. I make some recommendations as a regular education teacher (sometimes the recommendation is to continue on course). The parents, most of the time it's only the mother, but not always, is specifically asked what we can do to help.

They NEARLY always say nothing. The exception, as I've noted, are the parents of gifted children. They tend to be strong participants in the meeting.

As a teacher yourself, and as a parent of children who had IEPs, surely you can join me in encouraging LibsRJerks to voice any concerns in her next IEP meeting. Or maybe not.

293 posted on 06/18/2013 4:47:20 AM PDT by TontoKowalski
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To: Twink; LibsRJerks
I'm not sure exactly what has struck a nerve with you, but my generalizations of IEP meetings are based on my experiences as a participant.

Most (although certainly not all... hence the generalization) parents simply sit through the meetings with little input. The special education teacher leads the meeting, covering the points required by law, then there's a roundtable discussion concerning the child's observed progress. I make some recommendations as a regular education teacher (sometimes the recommendation is to continue on course). The parents, most of the time it's only the mother, but not always, is specifically asked what we can do to help.

They NEARLY always say nothing. The exception, as I've noted, are the parents of gifted children. They tend to be strong participants in the meeting.

As a teacher yourself, and as a parent of children who had IEPs, surely you can join me in encouraging LibsRJerks to voice any concerns in her next IEP meeting. Or maybe not.

294 posted on 06/18/2013 4:47:20 AM PDT by TontoKowalski
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To: verga
But the photo still broke Anne's heart. The photo was a clear example of how set apart her son is from society. Instead of a big group hug photo with Miles at the center, and classmates and teachers all around...
295 posted on 06/18/2013 5:08:40 AM PDT by GOP_Party_Animal
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To: metmom
I have my own issues to deal with that keep me from living life *normally* and keeps me from participating in regular activities that most people take for granted. It ain't easy but that's life. I just avoid those situations and move on.

What a great idea he should just have avoided the picture altogether.

296 posted on 06/18/2013 6:27:01 AM PDT by verga (A nation divided by Zero!)
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To: GOP_Party_Animal

being at the center doesn’t make him the center of attention, but setting him off to the side sure draws unwanted attention.


297 posted on 06/18/2013 6:30:44 AM PDT by verga (A nation divided by Zero!)
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To: Thumper1960

Well said this is a keeper


298 posted on 06/18/2013 6:33:34 AM PDT by verga (A nation divided by Zero!)
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To: verga; BykrBayb
What you are focusing on is superficial.

Do you know how the child feels? We know how his mother feels. She vented to the press and how SHE views him will shape how he sees himself.

I don't know if you saw my post 90: My MiL had polio at 3 years of age. That was in 1916. She had one malformed arm and a shorter leg for the rest of her life. She led a normal life and had numerous surgeries as technology advanced in order to help her leg but her right arm was always shriveled. She became a school teacher and had 3 children. She told me that when she was 5 she came in complaining that her siblings were pelting her with snowballs. She was told to throw some back. She did.

Let me elaborate. How my Mother in Laws parents viewed her was the basis for her view of herself. They were told in 1916 that she would never walk again. They NEVER said that to her. By the time she was 5 she was walking again. Haltingly but walking. When her siblings teased her or threw sonwballs at her she was told to defend herself. They did NOT view her with pity. They allowed her to discover what she could and could not do. They saw her as a child.

When others pitied her it HURT. I should add that sometimes she had to use a wheelchair. There were days that her left leg just would not hold her up.

299 posted on 06/18/2013 6:59:23 AM PDT by DJ MacWoW (My faith and politics cannot be separated)
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To: Rodamala

Thank you for your wise and thoughtful comments.


300 posted on 06/18/2013 7:04:58 AM PDT by little jeremiah (Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point. CSLewis)
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