Posted on 05/05/2009 9:44:52 PM PDT by Gordon Greene
EVO-ATHEIST DISCLAIMER MESSAGE
WARNING:
(No genetic material were harmed in the posting of this response)
The sole purpose of this comment is to offend Star-Trek-Lovin’, Monkey-Huggin’, Marvel-Comic-Readin’ evil-utionist wackos, as well as Christian-Bashin’, Pope-slammin’, pocket-protector-wearin’, nerd-bucket, Atheists. This poster not responsible for so-called moderate evo-atheists feelings who feel they’ve been caught in the crossfire (there’s no crossfire here… you can’t “half” believe in God). This response posted by a God-fearin’, Church-goin’, 6-Literal-Day-Creation-believin’, Bible-thumpin’, Pew-jumpin’, Jesus-freak. Any Atheist interested in worshipping the Flying-Spaghetti-Monster will have to consult Little Dickie Dawkins for instruction. NOTE: MY OPINION IS SUBJECT TO STAY THE SAME WITHOUT NOTICE… You see; if you don’t believe what you say, then it can’t be called a “belief”, now can it?
The Super-Secret Pseudo-Fictional World of Joe-Evo-Atheist
I liked myself a little Star Trek when I was a kid. Most of us did. Have you noticed that most Evil-utionists/Atheists and various blends of the two can’t stay away from the Trekkie conventions? I mean, they never let it go! They seem to be obsessed with UFO’s, Bigfoot, Paranormal activity… frankly, anything fictional. This is strange when you think about it. They talk to us God-fearin’ folk like we’ve lost our minds yet they love them some Sci-Fi channel like it’s a purdy girl!
‘Course, I got me a little theory myself (in the scientific sense… since it’s based on a whole lotta fact! (I’m a-gonna write real stooped-like so you’uns kin read it on the ‘puter like ya’ thank we’uns really conversate) Well, here goes!
When you ponder that evil-ution gobbledygook fer more ‘an a second you git to unnerstandin’ one thang: ‘ppears a whole lot like one o’ them there faky religions. Let me ‘splain…
You got some overanxious moo-ron with a pair o’ tweezers and a pen-knife diggin’ up a heap o’ dirt and draggin’ out some ol’ bones, then he goes an’ claims they got somethin’ wrote on ‘em ain’t nobody kin ‘cipher but the smart feller what went an’ dug ‘em up. Then you got some other feller readin’ the same bones an’ comin’ up with a tee-totally differ’nt set o’ answers all-together. Then when the first feller sez his answer is more better than the second one, they jes’ settle on somethin’ somewhere’s in betwixt the two. The two of ‘em hauls off an’ tells the Guvmint they got themselves somethin’ speshul, an’ next thing you know they got ‘em a boat-load o’ cash so they’s kin look fer more bones, an’ them firstest bones is a’ sittin’ up in some fancy buildin’ with folks a-passin’ thru it worshippin’ dem dried-up ol’ bones like they was some god ‘er sumpin’!
Look… I’ll make it plain and simple. You show me the evidence – I mean shore-‘nuff clear evidence of evil-ution and we’ll talk. I mean the real deal, not some fish you point to with an appendage resembling Peter Brady’s left ear (in a really dark-lit room). Otherwise, you’re wasting both of our time.
“But, Mr. ____hole moron, foolish, ignoramus, ‘Christian’ dude… we most assuredly did speak the truth to you in earnest and you and you won’t listen!!!”
Well, no… You didn’t. What you’ve done is rant about something you read in a book and argued with me about what the true meaning of “Theory” is (are… whatever). You’re full of plenty of questions but won’t answer a single, solitary direct question without pooping your arrogance all over the page, and frankly; I’m tired of smelling it.
Let’s talk when you’re ready to quit asking me to be so open-minded my brains fall out, all the while clinching your over-extended intellect so tightly, explosive diarrhea wouldn’t have a rats’ chance in Hades of squirting out.
Peace, love and spaghetti-monsters
Gordon Greene
I forgive you.
Guess you've never heard of "figure of speeches"? Like how, just the other day, I saw a newspaper use this exact same term? Guess this means the editor "really" thinks the earth is flat.
Nevertheless, you sound like you're sorely in need of an education.
I’m certain you understand the difference between a circle and a sphere, and I have little doubt whoever wrote Revelation did too. But I think I understand, when the bible doesn’t make sense it’s poetry, and when it confirms your notions it should be taken literally.
How does one deal with a clear declaration that is unambiguous and false? For example, Psalm 104:5, “He set the earth on its foundations; it can never be moved.”
Yes, the evos seem to see sci-fi as so ‘scientific.’
"Apologetics" is education you disagree with.
They are referenced as normal days in other parts of the Bible. For instance, in the 4th commandment:
“Remember the Sabbath Day, to keep it holy. SIX DAYS you shall labor and do all your work. But the SEVENTH DAY is the Sabbath of the LORD your God. In it, you shall do no work. . .For in SIX DAYS the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them; and rested the SEVENTH DAY. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath DAY and hallowed it.” (emphasis mine)
He gives the six days of creation and the one day of rest as the reason for the Sabbath. Had the days been eons or something, we’d be resting for six eons and then resting for one, obviously preposterous.
So I don’t question at all what a “day” is.
You haven’t answered my question.
“How does one deal with a clear declaration that is unambiguous and false? For example, Psalm 104:5, “He set the earth on its foundations; it can never be moved.””
I think we have to deal with them honestly.
There are the following types of writing in the Bible, and indeed, of all literature:
1. Historical narrative;
2. Prophecy;
3. Poetry;
4. Allegory;
5. Analogy;
6. Parable; and
7. Direct instruction.
Genesis is historical narrative. There are other types in there, like the poetry of Miriam’s song, but these are clearly set apart.
The Psalms, which you quote above, are poetry. The contain true statements, of course, but they are poetic. Think of a common poem - say, “In Flander’s Field.” This poem starts out: “In Flander’s Field the poppies grow.” This is a true statement, or at least was when it was written. There is a field called Flander’s field, and no doubt poppies grew there. But further it states, “we are the dead.” This is a poetic allusion. Obviously a group of dead people is not writing the poem. However, it is presented as a poem, and this is understood.
If we are going to pretend we don’t know the difference between the types of writing, which occur throughout human culture, we are not going to be able to understand anything we read. Jesus said, “I am the vine; you are the branches.” Did he mean he was planted in the ground, growing leaves? Of course not. We all know it, too. To pretend we do not is disingenuous.
To pretend Genesis is an allegory when it is a straight historical narrative from beginning to end is to create a problem where there is none. We have names, times, places, massive people movements, battles, landmarks, geography, the rise and fall of kings and commoners, all in order, laying out a straight history of this world and its people from creation to the death of Moses.
Furthermore the creation in six days is referenced as literal fact throughout the rest of Scripture. It is never questioned. Jesus refers to Adam and Eve in his argument against divorce, for instance.
“You haven’t answered my question.”
Yes, I have. At length.
In other words, your problem is likely that you don't bother to really think about something before you comment on it.
I had to laugh when I saw your comment about early Christians rejecting a spherical earth. Actually, the typical Christian cosmology in late antiquity was that of a spherical earth nested inside a set of concentric spheres - an idea at least partially picked up from Isaiah's statements about the "circle" (which, as my link showed, in Hebrew indicates a sphere) of the earth, as well as from the simple observation that, since the sun and moon are round, it stands to reason that the earth is too.
To my knowledge, the only Christian writer in antiquity who seriously disputed the idea of a spherical earth was Cosmas Indicopluestes - and he wasn't exactly a major or influenctial voice on Christian cosmology. Augustine did not dismiss the idea of a spherical earth, he merely dismissed the notion that men could live in the antipodes, basically arguing that there was no way men could have crossed such a wide ocean as was (rightly but accidentally) posited by many writers - pagan and Christian alike - to exist surrounding the tripartite "habitable realm." Actually, not necessarily such a laughable conjecture, when you consider the level of sailing technology at the time, and the fact that most ships tried to never even lose sight of land, much less cross open ocean.
Not only have creationist proven themselves superior to evos at science, they're far beyond them in humor as well.
I always laugh at that too. The irony is, if not for Christianity, there'd be no science or engineering, and the secularist evos would still be arguing for a flat earth, just because it goes against the Word of God.
Wow. Talk about begging the question. Using your “logic”, I can use the bible to support all manner of mischief.
Sorry for not being clearer. The link was just added as an "extra". I didn't intend for it to be germane to the question about Revelation, just to the "issue" of the Bible and the "flat earth" in general.
I question it. From everything I’ve read, a “yom” refers to some “period of time”, not defining what the length of that “period” is. I think it prudent to never assume anything.
Hard to work with the Genealogies in Genesis when the actual day is at issue. Also, “and there was evening and there was morning; the first day”.
I’m paraphrasing since there’s nowhere for me to look it up right now...
“Well, I’m not sure how I ended up on your “ping” list, but after wasting two minutes of my life reading your incomprehensible screed, please remove me. Thanks in advance.”
I don’t have “ping” lists, per se’. I only perform targeted “incomprehensible screed” attacks, mostly on the unwilling. If I did not count you worthy, you would have received nothing.
Consider yourself blessed!
Sincerely,
GG (I shall live to screed again!!!)
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