Posted on 02/26/2005 3:47:17 PM PST by Hildy
For all of those who have called me every imaginable name because I dare to suggest that there are some things worse than death...I don't wish you on you anything that poor woman goes through on a minute by minute basis. Because you know so much, and are so sure that you are right because you are all so freakin self-righteous...I'm leaving FreeRepublic because I no longer want to be a part of something that has become so twisted. Hannity is right, this website has been hijacked. It was a good run...but we'll find another place. Save your jabs, I won't be reading them. To those who have privately agreed with me, and there are many, thank you. I'm just worn out and frankly, don't even care what most here think.
I have no idea if Terri's husband is a good or bad person. As I have said if there were awards to being a schmuck he might win it hands down. But, to bring up his relationships, etc., takes away from the discussion at hand.
What do we do when a loved one must be force fed to stay alive?
This is the discussion that I seem to be missing from many of the threads. Where do we draw the line? I have no doubt when she was originally evaluated the doctors thought there was hope.
Which in the day of machines it does offer the doctor a second chance to get it right? Cynical isn't it. At some point they knew she would not be able to take care of herself. Which left her husband. He believes he knows what Terri wanted. I do not want to think he is dishonest. I wish there were a note somewhere that stated her thoughts on the subject. That this is not the way she would want to live but sadly there are those who would still fight to have her remain on the feeding tube.
Frankly, all those involved may have at some point had a change of heart but with all the handlers and those imposing their beliefs if they ever where to say it publicly it is long gone.
Her situation has certainly reminded us of what is important that we let loved ones know of our wishes to save the pain that would occur otherwise. But, had that not been the case I would expect my husband to act as my husband and do the right thing. No matter what I may have said to him or my mother. The relationship between a husband and wife must trump the relationship of parent/daughter.
You may not like my analysis but it is from the heart. If I were given a moment to say something to her loved ones it would be to listen to each other. Then pray about it and follow the path of God.
The families have been estranged but if she is like any other daughter I know, she would have wanted them to come together and not get further and further apart.
If they would listen to each other, and not the talking heads, lawyers, doctors would that not be the greatest gift you can give your daughter and wife?
I'm in no way saying that it's good to call people names, etc. I agree that all people(conservatives or like) should be able to post here. I was just saying that Freerepublic is more important than one issue. Is it better to quit (or leave for an indefinent time) a wonderful site because of one issue? I was in no way saying she shouldn't post there. She was complaining that she was getting flamed for her views on Terri. What I would do is just avoid that issue and move on. I certainly did not mean it in a malevonent way.
I'm a intelligent design person. If I posted on pro-evolution threads and got flamed very badly or got called names I couldn't stand I'd just not go there. That is just what ONJA would do. It was what I'd do. Which shows I'm in some way a coward. Still, I was giving advice as to what I'd do and I hope Hildy didn't misunderstand it.
From a nurse:The feeding tube (G-tube) is essentially a rubber hose that is sewn through the upper abdominal wall into the stomach or upper intestine. It is capped off (remaining intact) between the feedings. During feedings, the cap is removed, a large bulb syringe is used to verify placement, the bulb is then removed, and liquid nourishment is poured into the syringe, and allowed to drain in via gravity. A very, very simple procedure
He is not totally blind as you would have everyone believe. He is legally blind
Please stick to the truth using quotes. I NEVER said he was totally blind.
No, you just said maybe she shouldn't post on threads where her view isn't the prevailing view.
I was just saying that Freerepublic is more important than one issue.
And in case you haven't noticed, there is more than one "view" of every issue on this forum.
Since the answer to this question should be left to Terri, why is it when her feeding tube is removed NO ATTEMPT to feed or hydrate her will be tried? If Terri is concious and wants to live she will try to swallow, if the fluids are thickened she would still be getting some hydration, this would show her wishes truely are, at this time in her life. (yes having seen disabled people in my life I do believe she is concious and not PVS and so would be able to decide to swallow or not) And I don't mean that she should have to feed herself, lack of therphy to learn these skills since her accident would mean she probably can't. But why should can they not attempt to give her food and drink?
Personally I think she should be allowed to live with her tube, I also think the State of Florida has been very remiss in defending her rights to therpies and basic medical and dental care over the past 10 years or so. If I or anyone else with a disabled relative ignored basic physical care, including range of motion therapies and things to help with the contraction of the muscles from lack of use, we would and should expect to have our loved one taken away.
Why does her husband still have control over her if he has not provided those therapies.....until he gets his wish it is still his job as her guardian to ensure that she does get proper dental and medical care, including the PT and Ot that are necessary to ensure her comfort in her currant condition. and it is the states job to ensure that he is doing it.
Terri is a vulnerable adult, no matter how she got that way, and she should have the protections of any vulnerable adult. At this time I really don't think she does....how could she when she's been moved into 'isolation'?
There ya go... Precisely. : )
One thing I wish they'd do is not actually remove it this time. I know the first time, they just clamped it off (prolly a different "model") but last time, they removed it, then after the 6 days without it, she had to go back in and have another one put in.
Just seems an unnecessary step to put her through. :(
Ugh... this whole thing is getting to me. I had to quit thinking about it 2 weeks ago, because I was having nightmares... got into it again this week, and now I'm having them again.
She has a right to post her views where she wants. She has a right to participate in the forums. She shouldn't be flamed for her beliefs. But she is by some. (Not Me) If she hates being flamed enough to quit FR for some time would it not be better to quit that one issue(IMHO). If Onja had a choice between not going to the city at all or just avoiding the unpleasant areas which would Onja choose? Of course go to the good areas and stay from the bad. In my mind, it would be more advantageous to keep the good part of FR and stay away form the parts hostile. She may (understandably) have strong feelings on thius issue. But why was she going to abandon ALL of FR when only one part (and one group) was messed up.
BTW- I'm glad she's staying. FR is a great site.
P.S.- You all are not bad, the thread is not bad, your views aren't bad; but I am going to take some of my own advice. Please don't take this as an insult but I'll try to stay away from this topic because I don't like getting in debates with other good Freepers over matters that aren't all that important to me.
Another great post, Chick. Thank you.
Very reasonable clarification there, onja. : )
We all get misunderstood sometimes, especially in those middle of the night posts, lol.
Very good write up Phil. I would hope that Michael Schiavo is scorned by everybody who knows him. He doesn't have one iota of common decency on his side!
I am on the side of protecting Terri from having her feeding tube removed...
If she had left a living will, or durable power of attorney saying she wouldn't want the feeding tube, I would respect her decision and pray for the end to be quick and painless.
My problem with this is that her husband didn't "remember" that she wouldn't want this treatment until after he won a large settlement that was suppose to go to her therapy and rehabilitation.
The only people who "remember" her making the comment is her cheating husband, her cheating husband's brother, and her cheating husband's sister-in-law.
According to the leader of her chosen faith...it is wrong to refuse food and water to the disabled.
Her husband has a definate conflict of interest...he stands to benefit not only financially, but also by being able to marry Jodi(the mother of his two bastard children) in a Catholic ceremony when Terri dies.
I appreciate your post and will reply in depth after I have had a good night's rest and time to reflect.
One thing that I have read and there is a lot of stuff out there that there is a lot of money owed and that there will be little after she dies that would actually go into the pocket of the husband.
I don't know what to say. I'm at a loss for words.
About what?
I hope you rest well...
Several other items to contemplate...I have heard there is a life insurance policy on Terri, beneficiary is MS...book and movie deals will be offered on such a high profile case...the estate is half Terri's, the shared estate reverts totally to MS on her death...if he were to divorce her, he would have to give some of the estate to her and her caregiver. There are plenty of financial gains to be made by her death!
Sweet dreams.
Blessings
T
you have an absolute right to your opinion, as does everyone else on here...sometimes it gets down and dirty as subjects are close to our hearts...
You used an incorrect term... "force fed".. she is no more "force fed" than you or I... she merely has a different method of eating..and if her husband would allow her to be rehabilitated, (or visitors, or flowers, or cards, or fresh air), she might not even need a feeding tube.
As a lawyer or a defendant? Inquiring minds want to know.
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