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Love on a Porn Set: One Woman's Story (ABC Expose of Porn Industry)
ABC News ^ | 5/27/04

Posted on 05/28/2004 5:25:59 AM PDT by Aquinasfan

A Mormon Girl Gets Her Start in the Adult Movie Business

Jan. 23 — When 20-year-old Michelle saw the handsome Spaniard who would later become her fiancé, she thought it was love at first sight.

[WARNING: This article contains descriptions of sexual acts that some readers may find offensive.]

"The day we met, he said, 'You're going to be the mother of my children. I love you,'" she remembers. "You know what I mean? I never had that before. I never had a guy be so in love with me."

The couple met on the set of a porn film in a rented house in Prague in July 2001.

Michelle, the daughter of a retired Air Force captain and former bishop in the Mormon Church, was an up-and-coming starlet in the adult video world. She had had some setbacks in her first year in the business, but believed her career was turning around with the Prague trip, which would be her first starring role. Her co-star, 28-year-old Nacho Vidal, was already a well-established star.

The director had told Michelle that Vidal liked her work, and when the pair saw each other they immediately fell into each other's arms, kissing from one side of the house to the other.

"There's nothing bad about you," she told him admiringly as they prepared for the shoot. "You don't know me very well" he replied with a grin.

But when the director finally got the pair to settle down to the business at hand — filming a sex scene — the tone changed. Without any prompting, Vidal got rough during the sex, slapping Michelle's face violently from side to side, and choking her. [Pleased to meet you/Hope you guessed my name]

Afterward, she looked shaken, her face reddened and her eyes watery. But she insisted she was OK. "I look torn up — can you tell?," she asked an ABCNEWS producer who was following her progress for Primetime. Laughing and wiping her eye, she turned away and said without conviction, "I took a beating today, and it was great."

'Belladonna' Is Born

Michelle had gotten her start in the business at 18, when she came to Los Angeles from her home in Utah to look for work as a nude photograph model. When she failed to get modeling work, her agent encouraged her to try porn. She refused at first. "I always hated porn. I thought it was the most disgusting thing in the world," she told Primetime, which followed her career for more than two years.

But she finally agreed. Taking the name Belladonna, like the poisonous flower, she found herself preparing for what she thought would be a simple boy-girl sex scene. She was shocked when the director told her he wanted her to do anal sex — something she says she had never even thought about before. Worried she'd have to go through with it if she wanted to work again, she let him talk her into it. "I was kind of scared. I didn't know if I could say no," she remembers. "I didn't know any better, you know?"

After the session, she was shattered. "I wasn't ready for anal sex.... It was painful. But I can hide it really well." She had just turned 18, the legal age for participation in sexually explicit films.

Michelle went on more shoots over the next few months. Then her agent sent her on a job where she would have sex with male actors in prison outfits — 12 of them. Once again, she tried to back out, telling the director it was "sick," but once again she was talked into it. She had sex — all kinds — with the 12 men. "It was really hard because I really felt like a piece of meat ... in a lion's cage, 12 lions.... I had to do a lot of things I can't imagine anyone wanting to do." She was paid $4,000.

Afterward, she says, she couldn't stop crying. She packed her bags and went home to her family in Utah.

Glimpse of the Big Time

But within a year, she was back, even agreeing to promote the prison movie that had so upset her.

She began to feel that her career was picking up. She got a small part in a movie for VCA, one of the "high end" companies that produce big-budget films, and hoped it might lead to a contract. On the shoot, she met porn legend Ron Jeremy, who was making a cameo, and began to feel like she was fitting in. "The first second I walk in, this girl grabs my breast, and I'm like, Wow, you know, that's like the best welcome ... 'cause then you feel like, Oh, someone likes me, you know?"

Another company considered giving her a contract, but at a meeting, the owner, veteran porn star Ona Zee, sensed that Michelle was not emotionally ready to become an adult star. "There's a part of me that wants to say to you, 'Run for the hills, girl, do something else, because you can be something better,'" she told her.

At the high-end companies — which produce a small proportion of the thousands of adult titles released each year — performers often have contracts and can make six figures by shooting just eight to 10 movies a year. They can pick their own partners and condoms are generally required. Shot on film with elaborate, sets, costumes and plots, the movies can have budgets up to $250,000.

But Michelle did not get a studio contract, and ended up taking a job with a company known for "gonzo" porn — sex-only, amateur-looking productions shot on video. The company, Elegant Angel, was making a film in Prague and offered her a starring role, which she hoped would show the big studios that she could carry a film.

Love Blossoms in Prague

She was thrilled at the attention Vidal gave her during the week in Prague — but wary. "It's weird to have a guy love you that much. That almost scares me because I have a hard time trusting men," she told Primetime, explaining that her first boyfriend cheated on her repeatedly and ultimately left her for a stripper. Privately, Vidal had told Primetime he could never be with just one woman, and would be happy if Michelle's attraction did not lead anywhere.

She came back to Los Angeles by herself, so sore from the week's filming that she says she could hardly walk. But then she flew to Spain to visit Vidal, and their relationship seemed to be going places. She said he could keep having sex with other women, as long as he agreed to be "honest to me, loyal, and just respect me and tell me that I'm number one every day."

She even began hearing wedding bells, telling Primetime, "The second I get married, I won't having sex with men in this business any more."

Wedding Bells

By December 2001, Michelle and Vidal were engaged. As she proudly showed off her diamond ring, saying how pretty it was, Vidal joked in his Spanish accent, "I need to f—k so many girls for that ring."

The couple was in love, Michelle says, but they were fighting regularly. Vidal would sometimes get what he calls "Latino jealous" when he saw her talking to other men at clubs. Michelle told Primetime, "It's hard to be in a relationship with someone in porn."

By now, she was working steadily, even shooting for the same company she shot the prison gangbang for. "I guess now I've gotten past the whole feeling-bad-about-it thing. I'm like, 'OK, I did it and that was pretty damn rough of me' ... Like wow, you know?," she said with a laugh. "I can say that I've done pretty much everything there is to do, and I can walk away feeling a little proud about it, you know?"

The Primetime producers who had been following her noticed changes. At 18, she had said she would never use drugs, but now Primetime learned that she was sometimes high on marijuana during her scenes. She was working without condoms, though she said the risk of AIDS was never far from her mind — or her prayers. "The fans don't like to see condoms ... If I would have said I want to use condoms every time, I really wouldn't get any work," she explained. She contracted chlamydia, which can make you sterile.

And anal sex — which she had be talked into during her first shoot — was now her specialty. "Funny, isn't it? Something I didn't want to do and now I'm known best for it," she told Primetime. No longer a fresh face in the business, she found she had to agree to even riskier sex acts to earn the same money.

Ona Zee, the producer who had interviewed Michelle the previous year, noticed a difference, too. "I said to my husband, Our baby is all grown up and left home. She's no longer the adorable fresh-faced girl that I met ... Now she's really in the life ... Even in the pictures that I see of her, she's much harder, much tougher."

Behind the Smile

During interviews with Primetime, Michelle kept the happy smile she had always had — even when describing things that many people would find disturbing. However, her composure cracked when Diane Sawyer asked why she always smiled. Tears came to her eyes as she said, "Because I like to hide — hide everything, you know?" Then she began to cry, explaining that she hides her real emotions because she wants to show everyone how happy she is. "And I'm not happy ... I don't like myself at all," she said.

Michelle confessed she often felt physical revulsion during her scenes: "My whole entire body feels it when I'm doing it and ... I feel so — so gross." While pretending to be enjoying the sex, she said, she was in fact counting the minutes, telling herself, "Hey, I only have this much time left. Don't worry about it. Get the check. Gonna go deposit it in your bank." She admitted: "You get addicted to the money."

Like other performers Primetime spoke to, Michelle said that during shooting she often imagines herself outside her body. "I call it the 'other half,'" she said.

Bringing Home a Trophy

In January 2002, Michelle's Prague movie won an award at the Adult Video News awards in Las Vegas, considered the Oscars of the adult industry. Things were not going smoothly with Vidal that day — he complained that Michelle "don't do the ironing my clothes... I still 28 and I need my mother," and at the ceremony he openly checked out other women — but there were crowds of admiring fans for Michelle and she soaked up the attention.

After going on stage to pick the trophy, she was beaming, telling Primetime she had worked hard for it. "I think this is the very beginning of my career, like I've just begun," she said.

And at the 2003 AVN awards two weeks ago, Michelle was an even bigger winner, taking home awards for best supporting actress and three other categories.


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: catholiclist; porn
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To: cyborg
This time I tried to be more open to those in the *ahem* alternative lifestyle :)

The thing about all this is that Prout and I probably have VERY similar views on most subjects. I was originally replying to someone else who was saying through the thread that anything goes with any 18 year old girl. I think a lot of 18, 19 year olds don't have walking around sense yet and aren't adult enough to make these decisions. I like sex and young women as much as anyone but I have to draw the line where someone gets hurt and can't handle what is going on. I also think the porn industry preys on young flesh. If someone wants to do porn and they are really an adult (21-if they can't buy a pistol they should not be making this decision)- more power to them. If they are a 18 year old senior in high school runaway with no maturity and some weasel lowlife slimes her up, it sickens me. If someone wants to look at adult porn more power to them. It is their life. I definitely can't say I have never watched it. I have had girlfriends who were way into watching it and it didn't bother me! However these men who prey on 18 year old children - and that is what an 18 year old is - sicken me.

461 posted on 05/28/2004 4:17:23 PM PDT by Nov3
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To: Long Cut

__ Why do people think that they need 'control'?

---- "The utterly insufferable arrogance of power, and the need for it, is an absolute fact of the human condition. -- Nothing can be done about it. - Just as the poor shall always be with us, so shall we have these infinitely shrewd imbeciles who live to lay down their version of 'the law' to others."
-unknown-

OTOH, why do we allow ourselves to be controlled?


"The continuous disasters of man's history are mainly due to his excessive capacity and urge to become identified with a tribe, nation, church or cause, and to espouse its credo uncritically and enthusiastically, even if its tenets are contrary to reason, devoid of self-interest and detrimental to the claims of self-preservation. We are thus driven to the unfashionable conclusion that the trouble with our species is not an excess of aggression, but an excess capacity for fanatical devotion."
-Arthur Koestler-


462 posted on 05/28/2004 4:18:05 PM PDT by tpaine ("The line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being." -- Solzhenitsyn)
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To: DannyTN; Long Cut
Long Cut;
Ping. This really needs to be on the RPR list. We got people here calling for executing porn producers, religious conservatives actually DEFENDING taxes, and others seem to think their moral views are the ONLY correct ones in the world.

It's hilarious to watch those who tie themselves in knots over something as simple as sex go crazy now and then.

______________________________________


Well understand that I'm defending taxes in the context of those who call all taxes theft.
459 -Danny-

______________________________________


You are also defending the concept that we should use taxes to fight prohibitionary 'wars', on porn, drugs, -- or whatever 'sin of the day' strikes your fancy.

Can you admit that?
463 posted on 05/28/2004 4:40:51 PM PDT by tpaine ("The line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being." -- Solzhenitsyn)
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To: jimt

Belladonna and Lara Roxx, thats the French Canadian woman who got HIV. Those woman were horrible looking. They should go on one of those makeover shows.


464 posted on 05/28/2004 4:48:05 PM PDT by Adam36
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To: tpaine
"You are also defending the concept that we should use taxes to fight prohibitionary 'wars', on porn, drugs, -- or whatever 'sin of the day' strikes your fancy." Can you admit that? "

Absolutely. I am for the war on drugs and I would support a war on porn, too.

465 posted on 05/28/2004 4:51:37 PM PDT by DannyTN
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To: Nov3

The porn industry is filled with sleazy people just look at Joe Francis with Girls Gone Wild. As much as I don't like it, eighteen is the legal age and as such these teens can make very adult decisions. I don't know, I think some girls are taken in by the quick money and they're not thinking of the future.


466 posted on 05/28/2004 4:55:48 PM PDT by cyborg
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To: alexandria

My opinion of Diane Sawyer just dropped a notch. What’s lower than the basement?


467 posted on 05/28/2004 4:57:21 PM PDT by R. Scott (Humanity i love you because when you're hard up you pawn your Intelligence to buy a drink.)
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To: King Prout

Yea - news must now be “entertaining”.


468 posted on 05/28/2004 4:58:43 PM PDT by R. Scott (Humanity i love you because when you're hard up you pawn your Intelligence to buy a drink.)
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To: cyborg
As much as I don't like it, eighteen is the legal age and as such these teens can make very adult decisions. I don't know, I think some girls are taken in by the quick money and they're not thinking of the future.

18 is not the legal age for many decisions and this should be one of them. Let them make the decision to be taken in by the money at 21.

469 posted on 05/28/2004 5:00:58 PM PDT by Nov3
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To: Nov3

At eighteen, someone can join the army,etc. You really think raising the legal age of consent is going to change who does porn? I don't think so.


470 posted on 05/28/2004 5:02:46 PM PDT by cyborg
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To: DannyTN
Long Cut;
Ping. This really needs to be on the RPR list. We got people here calling for executing porn producers, religious conservatives actually DEFENDING taxes, and others seem to think their moral views are the ONLY correct ones in the world.
It's hilarious to watch those who tie themselves in knots over something as simple as sex go crazy now and then.
______________________________________


Well understand that I'm defending taxes in the context of those who call all taxes theft.
459 -Danny-
______________________________________


You are also defending the concept that we should use taxes to fight prohibitionary 'wars', on porn, drugs, -- or whatever 'sin of the day' strikes your fancy.

Can you admit that?
463 tpaine

_____________________________________


Absolutely. I am for the war on drugs and I would support a war on porn, too.
465 dan

______________________________________


I see, -- you objected to being styled by Long Cut as a religious "conservative" then?

-- Last time I checked conservatives advocated using tax money for only essential government business.
471 posted on 05/28/2004 5:07:06 PM PDT by tpaine ("The line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being." -- Solzhenitsyn)
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To: tpaine
"I see, -- you objected to being styled by Long Cut as a religious "conservative" then? -- Last time I checked conservatives advocated using tax money for only essential government business."

No, I don't object to being termed a "religious conservative" at all. I consider that a high compliment.

Who did you check with? Did they list what they considered to be "essential government business"? Is there a difference between what you think of as "conservatives" and "religious conservatives"?

472 posted on 05/28/2004 5:14:31 PM PDT by DannyTN
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To: DannyTN
Is there a difference between what you think of as "conservatives" and "religious conservatives"?

Yes there is a huge difference. Traditionally conservative on FR meant "constitutionally conservative" i.e. almost libertarians in views believing in the framework our forefathers had laid in that document. Religious conservative means someone's view of what God would have being enforced on everyone else regardless of their religious views. The opposite of religious freedom. Taliban like.

473 posted on 05/28/2004 5:21:05 PM PDT by Nov3
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To: Aquinasfan
I saw the program. It was extremely disturbing and heartbreaking. I was just thinking about it a few minutes ago.

These women, my God they're really kids, feel like brutalized pieces of meat because that is the way they were treated and it is what they are to the men that brutalize them. People who view porn are enablers and participants in the crimes against these women.

And these girls, KNOW innately it's wrong, whether their parents taught them or not.

And just where ARE the parents? Michele went home after the prison movie and then returned one year later and it sure didn't sound like her parents tried to stop her.

Attempts to blame it on capitalism can be made, but the greater cause is the moral decline of the west.

Anyone who isn't alarmed by the above story, particularly after viewing it, is warped.

474 posted on 05/28/2004 5:25:54 PM PDT by TOUGH STOUGH
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To: Nov3

There is a difference between freedom of religion and freedom from religion. References to the Judeo-Christian God are found in many of our founding documents. There was a general concept of morality in the foundation of our country.


475 posted on 05/28/2004 5:27:20 PM PDT by Canticle_of_Deborah
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To: TOUGH STOUGH
People who view porn are enablers and participants in the crimes against these women.

Agree. If there was no demand for it there would be no industry.

476 posted on 05/28/2004 5:29:47 PM PDT by Canticle_of_Deborah
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To: DannyTN
Well understand that I'm defending taxes in the context of those who call all taxes theft.

You are also defending the concept that we should use taxes to fight prohibitionary 'wars', on porn, drugs, -- or whatever 'sin of the day' strikes your fancy. Can you admit that?

Absolutely. I am for the war on drugs and I would support a war on porn, too.

I see, -- you objected to being styled by Long Cut as a religious "conservative" then?
-- Last time I checked conservatives advocated using tax money for only essential government business.

No, I don't object to being termed a "religious conservative" at all. I consider that a high compliment.

But you objected to Long Cuts comment. Why?

Who did you check with? Did they list what they considered to be "essential government business"?

I checked the Constitution itself, and I just can't seem to find where Congress is authorized to fund prohibitionary wars. Can you?

Is there a difference between what you think of as "conservatives" and "religious conservatives"?

I've always said there shouldn't be.. I think constitutional conservatives should leave religion out of politics. That's the American way, imo.

477 posted on 05/28/2004 5:32:00 PM PDT by tpaine ("The line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being." -- Solzhenitsyn)
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To: Nov3

LOL

I think religious conservatives formed this nation and implemented the freedoms that are now being twisted by a few and used against us.

Constitutional conservatives don't find new "rights" in the constitution. Constitutional conservatives don't reinterpret the constitution differently than the first 150 years. They don't suddenly find freedom of speech gives you the right to publish obsenity and porn. They don't suddenly find a privacy gives you the right to overturn state sodomy laws. They don't suddenly find a civil right to mock God's creation with homosexuality and to mock Holy Matrimony with whatever gays are calling their unions these days.


478 posted on 05/28/2004 5:32:34 PM PDT by DannyTN
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To: TheBigB

No bestality, children, or farm implements allowed.

TheBigB, erstwhile New England School Marm.

Owl_Eagle

”Guns Before Butter.”

479 posted on 05/28/2004 5:34:09 PM PDT by End Times Sentinel (FReep 'em all, let God sort 'em out.)
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To: Canticle_of_Deborah
There is a difference between freedom of religion and freedom from religion. References to the Judeo-Christian God are found in many of our founding documents. There was a general concept of morality in the foundation of our country.

Well put. We need moral people, regardless of their religious beliefs. In fact the Constitution bans religious tests for office, in the hope that this would increase the moral standards of the political class.. -- Fat chance, of course.

480 posted on 05/28/2004 5:39:19 PM PDT by tpaine ("The line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being." -- Solzhenitsyn)
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