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To: JustAmy; Darksheare; MeeknMing; ST.LOUIE1; dansangel; Mama_Bear; The Mayor; mtngrl@vrwc
A sure fire get you in the doghouse joke

A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is standing in front of a full length mirror taking a hard look at herself. "You know love" she says, "I look in the mirror and I see an old woman. My face is all wrinkled, my boobs are barely above my waist and my bum is hanging out a mile. I've got fat legs and my arms are all flabby."

She turns to her husband and says, "Tell me something positive to make me feel better about myself."

He thinks about it for a bit and then says in a soft voice, "Well...there's nothing wrong with your eyesight."

BONE WITH NO MEAT FOR DINNER!!!

103 posted on 10/01/2003 5:22:59 PM PDT by chadsworth (Hillary MUST BE STOPPED BEFORE 2004 ; Davis MUST BE REMOVED)
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To: chadsworth; JustAmy; AntiJen; MistyCA
D'oh!

Had to run errands.
Now I gotta get to bed.
Ugh...
111 posted on 10/01/2003 6:06:30 PM PDT by Darksheare (This taglines exploits men, women, children, minorities, majorities, pets, and naked mole rats.)
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To: chadsworth; MeeknMing; mtngrl@vrwc; Dubya; ST.LOUIE1; MistyCA; Victoria Delsoul; AntiJen
If you are not in the doghouse, here's another ..... you can tell LIR this one.


A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife.

So he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and there is man standing at the door. It didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk.

"Hi there," slurs the stranger. "Can you give me a push?"

"No, get lost. It's half past three. I was in bed," says the man and slams the door. He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says,

"Dave, that wasn't very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby sitter and you had to knock on that man's house to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost?"

"But the guy was drunk," says the husband.

"It doesn't matter," says the wife. "He needs our help and it would be the Christian thing to help him."

So the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs. He opens the door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts, "Hey, do you still want a push?"

And he hears a voice cry out, "Yeah, please."

So, still being unable to see the stranger he shouts, "Where are you?"

And the stranger replies, "I'm over here, on your swing."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ta Da ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

112 posted on 10/01/2003 6:11:00 PM PDT by JustAmy (God Bless our Military, Past and Present. Thank a Veteran for your FReedoms!)
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To: chadsworth
LOL !!


121 posted on 10/01/2003 6:52:34 PM PDT by MeekOneGOP (Check out the Texas Chicken D 'RATS!: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/keyword/Redistricting)
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