My party, the Guns and Dope Party, invites extremists of both right and left to unite behind our shared goals of:
Get those pointy-headed Washington bureaucrats off our backs and off our fronts too!
Guns for everybody who wants them; no guns for those who don't want them.
Drugs for everybody who wants them; no drugs for those who don't want them.
Freedom of choice, free love,free speech, free Internet and free beer.
California secession -- Keep the anti-gun and ant-dope fanatics on the Eastern side of the Rockies.
Lotsa wild parties every night by gun-toting dopers.
Animal protection -- Support your right to keep and arm bears.
More position papers will follow; we know at least 69 good positions.