Posted on 05/25/2003 10:15:11 PM PDT by ATOMIC_PUNK
Named the Maginot 39, in honor of one of France's most famous military achievements, the
weapon features a spring activated sling system that detaches almost instantly from the
soldier's shoulder. Special spikes on the sides of the rifle ensure it will attach firmly
to the ground. This is to ensure that it does not accidentally bounce back into the
soldier's hand, on the off chance that he might otherwise put it to some good use.
A Colonel asked an infantryman to demonstrate the rifle's action. After the soldier ate
cheese and made remarks about the United States and Great Britain for two hours, he picked
up the rifle. Standing at parade rest, he awaited the Colonel's command.
He first opened the rifle to show us that not only was it unloaded, the standard French
condition of readiness, but there was in fact no provision to put an ammunition into it.
"This is to ensure that the rest of world will not have to destroy our rifles in the manner
in which they were forced to sink our navy after we gave it to the Nazis during le World War
Two," the Colonel said. "This is very considerate of us."
The infantryman shifted his feet and frowned, indicating that he had something better to do.
On the command, "Present arms," the rifle sprang from the man's body and stuck firmly into
the ground. The soldier rushed his arms into the air, saying, "Sacre bleu. Le surrender.
I am eating cheese"
He then sat down and returned to his lunch.
The Colonel was proud of his country's new weapon. "In a few years, we will have a satellite
system connected to central command," he said. "The commanding general will press a simple
button and all the rifles of the entire army will drop at the same time. It is a marvel of
French military technology."
An improved version of the rifle, the Maginot 39 A1, is planned for future introduction. A
white flag of surrender will automatically pop out of the rifle when it hits the ground. As
the proptotype was demonstrated, a squad of French troops performing calisthenics passed by.
With their arms at their sides, they raised them to their shoulders and then over their heads
with military precision while shouting, "Un, Duex, Surrender!"
"You see, we are ready for anything," said the Colonel.
MM
This Parody is not sponsored or endorsed by Google
Let me guess....it ends with "while peeing right down my leg"?
I tend to use it with the ending PIMP - pretty much the same thing, I suppose...
MM
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