THE GUILD 2-10-2003 8 things never to do on Valentine's Day

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

8 Things Never to Do on Valentine's Day

By Devon McCollum

Valentine's Day is upon us again. Cupid is circling with his little bow and arrow, waiting to see who he can match up. If you get lucky and he matches (or has matched, as the case may be) you up with someone special, you need to be sure to do something romantic.

The Internet is loaded with fun Valentine's Day ideas. We all know that a quiet dinner at a French restaurant is a great way to celebrate the evening, but what about the special things that you shouldn't do?

Don't forget the day. It sounds silly to think that someone could forget it's Valentine's Day, but rest assured, they can. Men and women alike can get busy and lose track of the date. Make a note, mark your calendar, write it on your hand. Forgetting the date is unacceptable.

Don't be cheap. Valentine's Day should be the day that you celebrate your love for another person. "It's the thought that counts" is fine for Christmas, but it's the gift that counts for Valentine's Day. Some people try to say that they don't believe in commercialized holidays... and those people are usually cheap.

Don't buy a generic gift. Finding a gift for the one you love can be difficult. It is common to wait until the last minute to buy the gift, which will dramatically decrease your chances of finding a decent one. Do not buy a generic gift. A special gift with a little thought and effort will go a long way.

Don't forget to make reservations. Valentine's Day is the holiday based around reservations. You've got fancy dinners, romantic getaways, and possibly a masseuse. The nice places always book up quickly, so don't expect to squeeze in without a reservation.

Do not mention or spend any time with your ex. Ex-lovers are nothing but trouble. Even the thought can drive your current date crazy - no matter how cool they may act. Nix the ex for at least one day and focus on your existing love.

Don't forget to cater to their needs. Valentine's Day is not only about love. It's about showing affection and catering to your love's every whim. So hop to it... breakfast in bed, specially packed lunches... here it comes.

Don't take them to the same boring places. On this special day of extravagance, don't take your date to the same boring place as usual. Try a new restaurant or setting for a change. If it turns out to be boring, too, you would have never known unless you tried it!

Don't stay home alone and sulk. So you don't have a Valentine? Big deal. Neither do tons of people in your area. Go out and have a good time with some friends and maybe you will meet a good date for next year.

Next: More Valentine's Do and Don'ts

Copyright 2003 Fun Online Corporation.

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[mountaineer]

Ugh, the college peaceniks are speaking, even in my neck of the woods, story here. The last nitwit quoted is my next door neighbor.

[lodwick]

[habs4ever]

I think a big sign on your front lawn is required...."Give Peace A Chance, Kill Saddam"...place is so Mr Weaver sees it when he drives home from an exhausting day at art class ;-)

[Oystir]

Happy Vaentine's Day, Ladies. Here is some French fashion tips:

[habs4ever]

Cusack is so cold and detached from humanity that you can bet in another life, he would have gladly bent over for a Stalin or Hitler just to sniff their jocks.Deep down, I bet most of the crazy Hollyweird lefties have the totalitarian impulse just waiting to reveal itself.

[pubmom]

Cusak has been living in the world of make believe too long. I've had enough celebrity analysis of politics, current events and history. PHOOEY!

mountaineer: Ha! It was a blistering 14 degrees here today! We had an added bonus this morning, a water line broke in the next block sending water down our sidewalk. The ice was about 3/4 of a inch thick.

I'm headed off to school in few minutes for Valentine parties, I hope everyone is having a great day!

[folklore]

Weaver described the course as a study of conflict resolution in humans and non-humans.

Will you please ask this nut what the H##L that means.

[Endeavor]

We're gonna get freezing rain and snow later tonght and tomorrow - just as soon as Iowa Granny's through with it.

Thanks Gran!

[Endeavor]

I would love to have a poster made of the NY Post's front page today - I'd hang it down in the basement next to my Texas Aggie posters, my picture of W that he sent me (and probably 30 million others), and any picks of Rummy and Condi I can find.

[Endeavor]

Oh lod, my favorite! Yellow Roses! You get an "A."

[Endeavor]

I went to the store yesterday and bought several gallons of my fav - Arizona Iced Tea, several more cartons of Coke, a bottle of Maker's Mark (we Texans love our bourbon) and a bottle of vodka. Oh, and cat litter.

I decided not to buy bottled water. I figure life isn't worth living once the iced tea and coke runs out.

I'm prepared for whatever comes. Well, maybe I shoulda bought one more bottle of Maker's.

[mountaineer]

a study of conflict resolution in humans and non-humans.

Perhaps he'll use the conflict between his cats and one of the neighbor cats as an example of how we can resolve all the conflicts of men, I don't know. Can't we all just get along? Kumbayah.

[lodwick]

[Utah Girl]

Great survival list! I don't store bottled water, but I do have a couple of 50 gallon drums (plastic) that I store water in. I've stocked up on chocolate also, I can't think of a better way to go than to be eating a piece of See's chocolates.

[Endeavor]

You mentioned the best item - chocolate. I bought some of that, too. See's is really good.

[mountaineer]

I have plenty of Coke stashed in the basement (diet for me, regular for Mr. M) but nothing alcoholic. My wine rack has one lonely bottle of cabernet, and we may be socked in for days. This is an unfortunate development.

[lodwick]

Unfortunate?

That is TRAGIC!

Alexander Haig just said on Hannity that he thought, not including any air campaign time against saddam, that the war would be over in HOURS, not days.

Hoping and praying he's correct.

[Timeout]

Bad News Bulletin:

CNN now reporting a plane leased to the American military crashed yesterday in the part of Colombia controlled by rebel forces. Several civilians on board, probably gathering intelligence.

It is now reported that all survived the crash, but were captured by rebel forces and 2, maybe 3, were executed. The others have reportedly been taken hostage.

Time for prayers. God be with them.

[lodwick]

Bad Day for Golf

Every Saturday morning he has an early tee time. He gets up early and eager,
golfs all day long, sometimes 36 holes.

Well, one Saturday morning he gets up early, dresses quietly, gets his clubs
out of the closet and goes to his car to drive to the course.

Coming out of his garage rain is pouring down; it is a torrential downpour.
There is snow mixed in with the rain, and the wind is blowing 50 mph. He
returns to the garage. He comes back into the house and turns the TV to the
weather channel. He finds it's going to be bad weather all day long, so he
puts his clubs back into the closet, quietly undresses and slips back into
bed.

There he cuddles up to his wife's back, now with a different anticipation,
and whispers, "The weather out there is terrible."

To which she sleepily replies, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out
golfing in that shit?"

[Iowa Granny]

I think it's time for you to purchase me a new bottle of windex.