Replies

Guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks "How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber look around the shop and says "About 2 hours," and the guy leaves.

A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks "how long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around at shop full of customers and says "About 2 hours." So the guy leaves.

A week later the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks "how long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says "About an hour and a half." Again, the guy leaves.

Perplexed, the barber looks over at a friend in the shop and says "Hey, Bill, follow that guy and see where he goes."

In a little while, Bill comes back into the shop laughing hysterically. The barber asks, "Bill, where did he go when he left here?"

Bill looks up and says "To your house!"

A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her it is still experimental and tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner. So, that night at dinner, she does.

About a week later she’s back at the doctor. She says, "Doc, the pill worked great!! I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn’t five minutes and he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes on the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off and ravaged me right there on the table!"

The doctor says, "I’m sorry, we didn’t realize the pill was that strong. The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages."

"Naah... ", she says, "that’s okay. We aren’t ever allowed to go back to that restaurant anyway."

Tell her it's an ancient Hawaiian salutation...

I found this by accident just now, but was looking for it earlier.

The wife of a Southern Baptist preacher talks to her Sunday school class about a wonderful religious experience that she had last week:

The other day I went up to the local Christian book store where I saw a "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance at Church, so I bought the bumper sticker and put it on the back bumper of my car. And I am really glad that I did, too. What an uplifting experience followed.

I was stopped at the light of a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord, and I did not notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus or I may never have noticed that the light had changed. But then I found that a lot of people love Jesus, too. Why, the guy behind me started to honk like crazy and then he leaned out his window and screamed "For the love of GOD, Go!....Go!

Everyone was honking also, so I leaned out my window and waved and smiled to all those loving people and I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love. There must have been a man from Florida back there because I could hear him yelling something about a sunny beach.

I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. When I asked my teenage son in the back seat what this meant, he replied "It is nothing, probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something." Well, I have never even met a person from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back. My son burst into laughter, why, even he was enjoying the love of this religious experience.

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and were walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what Church I attended, but when I noticed that the light had changed, I waved one more time to my loving brothers and sisters and drove through the intersection.

I was the only car that got across the intersection before the light changed again and I felt kind of bad that I had to leave them and all that love that we had shared so I slowed the car down, leaned out of the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one more time as I drove away.

Praise the LORD for such wonderful folks.!