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To: HairOfTheDog
Whether you posted for bookeeping or any other reason, I appreciate your letting me know about the other thread. At least I've learned something new about searching. Duck out whenever you wish, and I won't make any assumptions about anything left unsaid or unanswered.

Maybe the distinction between complaining and having a serious discussion is so fine that these threads have no value. I'd like to think that we can learn something from them. An advantage to having these kinds of discussions in a forum setting is that it at least gives people a chance to think about something before responding. Admittedly, sometimes we don't take that opportunity, but it is an opportunity that we never have in real life.

On the issues of things like "place" and "used goods," I don't have another answer. I know what I'm looking for in a marriage, and a woman who doesn't want that kind of marriage just isn't right for me. I don't say that to condemn her. She's just not right for me. In terms of "used goods," I don't see anything wrong with wanting the "romantic" idea of building my really great memories with just one woman. At my age, I probably won't find someone who hasn't been in some very serious relationships. On the other hand, I see nothing wrong with advising young people to be a little reserved through their teens and early twenties and saving many of their experiences for marriage partners to be found during their mid-twenties.

Even now, I would prefer a woman who hasn't had those deep relationships. I don't say this to condemn anyone. I've certainly made my mistakes too, but it wouldn't take long for a partner to have experienced more with me than any other woman has. In saying this, I'm not just talking about sex. I'm talking about general shared experiences of life. Again, a woman who has a problem with this idea just isn't right for me.

Maybe you are right that we can't have edifying (now there's a word from my church days) discussions of these things on a forum this big. However, I think that forums do hold certain advantages.

18 posted on 01/27/2003 9:59:46 PM PST by WFTR
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To: WFTR
You have a lot of categories and expectations and balance sheets in what you think you want. Fine in the abstract I suppose. I don't know if the scientific method you are trying to apply to finding the ideal mate will help you find the right one or not. But I hope someone gets through the interview who really loves you, who loves what you love, and who you love so much you want to be worthy of her. There are lots of good, kind souls all around you. Some with great personal resumes, some with a few imperfections for you to mull over.

One day I hope someone just grabs your heart and makes you want to stop measuring, Bill!
19 posted on 01/27/2003 10:49:54 PM PST by HairOfTheDog
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