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Why women have less to gain from marriage
The Daily Telegraph ^ | December 30, 2002 | Sarah Womack

Posted on 12/29/2002 5:16:30 PM PST by MadIvan

Marriage is more damaging to a woman's well-being than a man's because it offers her fewer immediate personal benefits, says research by a Government-funded group.

The One Plus One Marriage and Partnership Research organisation said that while married men appeared physically better off than single men, the same could not be said for married women.

Furthermore, single men were more likely to regard themselves as unhappy compared to married men. The same was not generally true of single women.

Research among more than 2,000 divorced couples found that women had to make a greater adjustment to marriage than men.

"The greater part of the husband's day will continue to be spent much as it was before his marriage, whereas this is rarely so for the wife," said Penny Mansfield, director of One Plus One.

"If she continues to work, she is likely to have to combine the job of housewife with that of full-time worker. This in itself may be a source of stress because she will have less opportunity for relaxation.

"Even if the wife does not work following marriage, there may be adjustment difficulties for her since she has to learn to adopt a completely different lifestyle.

"The absence of colleagues, workmates and the loss of an independent income will require varying degrees of adaptation which may all contribute to a sense of increasing isolation."

Half of those surveyed reported difficulties of sexual adjustment, particularly after the birth of a baby, while about the same (48 per cent) spoke of adjustment difficulties connected with housing and finance.

Most (73 per cent) said the problems which led to marital failure started within the first five years but for a third they surfaced within the first 12 months. The duration of marital "happiness" among the couples, whose marriages lasted an average of 10-14 years, was only 3.87 years.

The Government is spending millions of pounds on research into why marriages fail and what can be done to help couples stay together.

Family campaigners blame marital breakdown on Labour policies which have stripped away the tax benefits and most of the legal privileges that go with staying married.

In August the Lord Chancellor's department acknowledged that the number of couples who divorced rose for the first time in almost a decade. There were 860 more decrees absolute - the legal measure that finalises divorce - last year than in 2000, making a total of 137,270 completed divorces.

The organisation pointed to American research which showed that couples who did manage to stay married allowed each spouse to retain some sense of autonomy.

That meant being careful about what was argued about and accepting compromises. The basic components of long-lasting marriages were love, trust and respect.


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To: SBprone
>>>I know what women do when they don't get married:

.....

They get a little weird.<<<


And married folks don't?





41 posted on 12/29/2002 5:47:28 PM PST by End The Hypocrisy
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To: vbmoneyspender
Could it be that when it comes to marriage (insert anything here except shopping), most women are just malcontents?
42 posted on 12/29/2002 5:47:57 PM PST by BuddhaBoy
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To: BuddhaBoy
TNG is on DVD... the last season set is coming out on Tues....
43 posted on 12/29/2002 5:48:20 PM PST by marajade
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To: MadIvan
Ya know... not to sound like a He-Man Woman-Hater or anything, but if women didn't have, well, you know, we'd probably be hunting them like deer...

;0)
44 posted on 12/29/2002 5:48:42 PM PST by Chad Fairbanks
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To: furball4paws
I was married 18 and gave it my all..I wanted nothing more than to form a partnership with my ex husband. I gave my all not only to him but to my three children (which I would gladly do again) but my love and devotion was never reciprocated by my ex. I am very "old fashioned" in my beliefs and have never felt pressured to be a man.
45 posted on 12/29/2002 5:48:54 PM PST by atpeace
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To: BuddhaBoy
You have that right kid, it cost me $350K and I had the kids and put them through school on my dime, $125K, my ex is an RN good for $60-70K a year, contributed Nada, oh, I forgot $25,000 in lawyers fees, I was working 3500 hours a year.
46 posted on 12/29/2002 5:48:55 PM PST by Little Bill
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To: guitfiddlist
sneaking was YOUR word.
47 posted on 12/29/2002 5:49:11 PM PST by BuddhaBoy
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To: JRandomFreeper; Miss Marple
I told you all this would be a fun thread....:-)
48 posted on 12/29/2002 5:49:12 PM PST by Dog
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To: Poser
Studies have found that women say at least 4 times as many words as men do. SO if we hear more complaints from them, it's not that surprising.
49 posted on 12/29/2002 5:49:29 PM PST by End The Hypocrisy
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To: marajade
Already in my Amazon wish list, Sugar.
50 posted on 12/29/2002 5:49:55 PM PST by BuddhaBoy
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To: BuddhaBoy
>>>Love is probably down there somewhere with Condom Failure as reasons why people get married these days.<<<


I bet birth control failure (especially the accidentally on purpose kind) is a major cause of marriage these days, especially now that DNA testing is so precise. :-(
51 posted on 12/29/2002 5:51:18 PM PST by End The Hypocrisy
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To: atpeace
sorry...was supposed to be married for 18 years!
52 posted on 12/29/2002 5:51:25 PM PST by atpeace
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To: BuddhaBoy
Amazon have us credit... have you tried? Seriously, we get them from dvdempire.com at 97.99 a season... Season 7 for us has shipped...
53 posted on 12/29/2002 5:51:44 PM PST by marajade
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To: marajade
oops have-gave
54 posted on 12/29/2002 5:52:15 PM PST by marajade
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To: JRandomFreeper
I have read that married men live longer than single men..

It just seems longer. ;>)

LOL!!!

55 posted on 12/29/2002 5:53:13 PM PST by UnBlinkingEye
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To: Dog
I was only trying to be provocative -- I don't believe for a second that most women are malcontents. I think they just pretend to be malcontents
56 posted on 12/29/2002 5:53:18 PM PST by vbmoneyspender
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To: atpeace
I am sorry. We all make mistakes, but we still must go on. Believe me, I know.
57 posted on 12/29/2002 5:54:15 PM PST by furball4paws
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To: BuddhaBoy
sneaking was YOUR word.

Heh-heh. It seems necessary sometimes. It is an instant argument when discussing the attractions of foreign women to female friends and colleagues.

58 posted on 12/29/2002 5:54:18 PM PST by guitfiddlist
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To: marajade
No, no, you don't get it.

I put stuff in my Amazon wish list, so some female looking to soften me up for marriage can buy them for me.

I have a date on New Years Eve, so I expect to watching them between Bowl games this week.

LOL!

59 posted on 12/29/2002 5:55:20 PM PST by BuddhaBoy
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To: UnBlinkingEye
Three rings of marriage

Engagement Ring...Wedding ring...Suffering

60 posted on 12/29/2002 5:56:29 PM PST by Archie Bunker on steroids
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