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Why women have less to gain from marriage
The Daily Telegraph ^ | December 30, 2002 | Sarah Womack

Posted on 12/29/2002 5:16:30 PM PST by MadIvan

Marriage is more damaging to a woman's well-being than a man's because it offers her fewer immediate personal benefits, says research by a Government-funded group.

The One Plus One Marriage and Partnership Research organisation said that while married men appeared physically better off than single men, the same could not be said for married women.

Furthermore, single men were more likely to regard themselves as unhappy compared to married men. The same was not generally true of single women.

Research among more than 2,000 divorced couples found that women had to make a greater adjustment to marriage than men.

"The greater part of the husband's day will continue to be spent much as it was before his marriage, whereas this is rarely so for the wife," said Penny Mansfield, director of One Plus One.

"If she continues to work, she is likely to have to combine the job of housewife with that of full-time worker. This in itself may be a source of stress because she will have less opportunity for relaxation.

"Even if the wife does not work following marriage, there may be adjustment difficulties for her since she has to learn to adopt a completely different lifestyle.

"The absence of colleagues, workmates and the loss of an independent income will require varying degrees of adaptation which may all contribute to a sense of increasing isolation."

Half of those surveyed reported difficulties of sexual adjustment, particularly after the birth of a baby, while about the same (48 per cent) spoke of adjustment difficulties connected with housing and finance.

Most (73 per cent) said the problems which led to marital failure started within the first five years but for a third they surfaced within the first 12 months. The duration of marital "happiness" among the couples, whose marriages lasted an average of 10-14 years, was only 3.87 years.

The Government is spending millions of pounds on research into why marriages fail and what can be done to help couples stay together.

Family campaigners blame marital breakdown on Labour policies which have stripped away the tax benefits and most of the legal privileges that go with staying married.

In August the Lord Chancellor's department acknowledged that the number of couples who divorced rose for the first time in almost a decade. There were 860 more decrees absolute - the legal measure that finalises divorce - last year than in 2000, making a total of 137,270 completed divorces.

The organisation pointed to American research which showed that couples who did manage to stay married allowed each spouse to retain some sense of autonomy.

That meant being careful about what was argued about and accepting compromises. The basic components of long-lasting marriages were love, trust and respect.


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To: BuddhaBoy
** I LOVE women; as many as I can get my hands on. **

This portion of your post says it all.

By the way...I have great humor in my life...just no patience for women haters.

Have a good New Year. Stay safe.

201 posted on 12/31/2002 9:32:59 AM PST by homeschool mama
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To: BuddhaBoy
I did have auditors.

When I sold my other house, potential buyers and real estate brokers didn't even know I had cats until they saw the litter boxes.

Number 1) buy high quality cat food (veterinarians carry some brands) - it cuts down dramatically on odor and improves cat's health, and number 2) clean the boxes twice a day. Since the nephew brought his cat when he came to live with me, guess who gets an allowance for shoveling kitty ka-ka?

202 posted on 12/31/2002 12:39:51 PM PST by goody2shooz
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To: homeschool mama
Obviously not all American women are angry man-haters, but there's an awful lot of them. Your husband is lucky.
203 posted on 01/02/2003 5:11:07 PM PST by furball4paws
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To: furball4paws
Hmmm...I truly wish more women and men would see the benefit of loving eachother w/o condition. I know plenty of women who have delightful marriages...and I know plenty of women who consistently seek to destroy their marriages by selfishness alone. One day, years ago, I was at a play park with my 2 year old. A group of homemakers were with their kiddos too...kiddos were playing and mothers were complaining about their husbands in a most vile way. What do you think this does to the children? Arghghg! I had enough and spouted off to them...picked up my daughter and left. Then again, my husband has witnessed the same of men he works with. It goes both ways...and I hate it.
204 posted on 01/03/2003 8:32:26 AM PST by homeschool mama
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