Son gets the shaft from ex-wife, when it comes to custody

The Mother of Son that is getting Screwed from the court & ex-daughter-n-law! | 12/14/02 | Sunflower4T

[Sunflower4T]

I am tired of the courts looking down on the fathers that are in a custody battle for their children. My son was told that he didn't have a leg to stand on! Please, give me a break! My ex-daughter-n-law commited adultery. She went out and had an affair with another man & got pregnant by this man. In the mean time, my son & his wife at the time, didn't know if it was his or the other man's. My son stayed with her & supported her until they found out that the baby was not his! Then he left her! While they were still married, she moved out & got her own place. In the mean time she sought custody of my grand-daughter. The judge gave her full custody. My son felt he couldn't fight her, because he had to prove she was an unfit mother. In the mean time the other man moved in with her. She had a little boy by this other man. Now in the mean time the judge ordered my son to pay child-support! Which I agree on! My son needs to take care of his daughter. In the mean time my son moved in a local town near us, that doesn't generate a lot of business. He did find himself a very good job, & was starting to get himself established, when she decided to take him back to court for non-child support. The judge didn't want to here anything & thru him in jail for 6 months, and in Virginia, you serve the whole 6 months. And while he was in jail, she divorced him. Now because he was in jail for 6 months, she didn't receive anything. Now he owes her a large some of money, and lost his job, and is having a hard time finding one, due to the holidays. Now she is threatening him again and said that she was going down for a show cause, because of non-child support! We don't have the money to give her. I am going to school my self starting a new career, & my husband is a sales man. He is commision only! I know that it's not my responsiblity, but come on somebody needs to help him out. In the mean time, because she is mad at me, she will not let us see our granddaughter unless we come to her house. She refuses to allow our son to see his daughter until he pays her child support. Now because I tried to explain to her that if we come to her house, it is a slap in our face to come there & see the mistake she mad, now she won't let us see our granddaughter. What happen to you commited adultery you lose your rights as a parent? If my son had of done that he would probably would have been sent to jail! Somebody, please help! Why is it she can get away with this?

[CA Conservative]

I was told by a lawyer that I could go after grandparents rights, the burdon of proof is on her to prove that our granddaughter would be in harms way if she comes here. And she knows that she wouldn't.

Find another lawyer, this one doesn't follow the law very well. The US Supreme Court recently (about 2 years ago) decided a case out of Washington state on the subject of grandparent rights. Short version, grandparents only have the rights parents want to give them. You cannot go to court and get court-ordered visitation.

You can read more here.

[pubmom]

Did your son explain how he was able to establish that he was not the father of the new child while his wife was still pregnant? And has there been a paternity test now that the child has been born?

[Sunflower4T]

They drew fluid out of the womb when she was pregnant, that told of the baby's sex & who the father was! And the child doesn't look anything like our son. He looks like the man she had an affair with! He could be his fathers twin brother!

[Servant of the Nine]

You signed up just to whine about this?

Real grownups pay attention to the laws they live under and if they can't change them, move to another State that has reasonable ones, or a County that has reasonable judges.

So9

[Sunflower4T]

I'll tell you, like I told JoeFromCA. You are entitled to your opinion, but unless you have walked in my shoes, don't judge! I was looking for some help & support! That's all!

[Mr. K]

I had a similar experience in New York State. The courts own doctor performed a child custody evaluation. He recommended that I should have SOLE custody and their mother should not even be allowed overnight visitation because she is mentally ill.

She then bashed herself in the head and had me arrested for it. Thank God I was able to prove I was not even home at the time.

Thsi backfired and the kids began living with me as per the custody evaluation, but she insisted on a trial.

End result: with NO witnesses on her side and dozens on my side INCLUDING 2 judges who suspended her visitation when one of my children was hospitalized when visiting her for a weekend...
NEW YORK STATE SUPREME COURT JUDGE JOHN O'DONNELL GAVE THEM BACK TO HER- SOLE CUSTODY

[Salvation]

**Unless his ex wife has declared the other man as the father, and he has agreed, your son is presumed under the law to be the father, and he only has a short period of time to prove differently. After that period (two years here in CA), your son cannot challenge paternity, even with absolute proof in the form of DNA evidence.**

Definitely important information that needsto be acted on pronto!

[Salvation]

**Any man who plans to be heterosexually active should get a vasectomy first.**

And the reason for marriage -- procreation? Your statement does NOT make any sense at all!

[crystalk]

Procreation is too dangerous to the man within marriage.

Increasingly, it is just too dangerous to him at ALL, even outside marriage, unless he is just an anonymous sperm donor who never came anywhere near the woman in whom it was implanted.

Indeed, the two should ideally always live hundreds of miles apart, and not be of the same religion or subculture whereby they might ever meet.

[trussell]

Welcome to FR. I hope you get the answers you need.

[RGSpincich]

Procreation is too dangerous to the man within marriage.

Hmmm. I'd take a wild guess that you're not a member of the Roman Catholic church.

[CindyDawg]

They garnish wages and keep you working. Never seen a judge turn his back on the money.

They do it all the time where I live (Texas). Dads that don't pay go to jail. Moms don't have any say.

[crystalk]

You are right, I am not a Catholic and have never known a Catholic at all well, though my two (much younger) siblings did marry Catholics, but not very religious or practicing ones...

At that, however, I do hate to see any Christian faith put down, so I sometimes come to their defense on these threads...or elsewhere on Internet...

But why do you say specifically it would impact THIS issue, where AFAIK Catholics have not been mentioned?

[RGSpincich]

But why do you say specifically it would impact THIS issue

Because procreation and marriage are mainstays in the RC church and you have denounced the association of the two. Before recent events, the RC church was known primarily for it's stance on birth control and it's strict divorce policies.

[crystalk]

Oh, I plead innocent, it is the pagan USA empire and its laws that has strictly separated the two...a man is seen as just a sperm donor with a checkbook, and ANY male will do, just so he has the checkbook, he need not have been the sperm donor.

Even males who have had vasectomies, are totally sterile due to medical conditions, are totally impotent or even without a penis (due to injury), have been charged with fatherhood, just because they had jobs.