The Guild 12-11-2002 Is your Christmas Shopping done yet?

[lodwick]

I can only suggest that you keep going up the corporate ladder - they do have "problem" solving people who can get things righted for you. Stop dealing with the mouth-breathers.

Good luck with it.

[mountaineer]

Those matching T-shirts probably cost a whopping $6 each, which would pay for a tiny little clump of Astroturf, in all likelihood. I share your dismay. This public school extravagance is pretty common, however. Our high school (in this economically depressed region) just added a "wellness center," as part of its $20+ million renovations. All the computers, carpeting, exercise equipment and sports frou-frou don't make up for the fact that public high schools are graduating students who can't think analytically, write or spell.

[lodwick]

Run algore Run. You simpleton.

Invent yourself, again. People like you cannot be made up, they must be invented.

[lodwick]

Don't even get me started on property taxes and valuations in Texas. Good luck with stopping the idiocy.

[Endeavor]

HLL - I'm so sorry to hear your number is cooked. Maybe there is still hope they'll figure it out? I don't understand how a number gets fried, anyway. Maybe we should all get cans with strings tied into them? Worked when we were kids.

Hang in there, bud. -- E

[Endeavor]

I didn't think astroturf was as forgiving as grass. Young limbs need the cushion of God's green earth, not plastic grass which is responsible for untold knee injuries.

Lod - I truly believe Algore is running.

[BigWaveBetty]

That was one of the most disgusting 'jokes' I've ever heard. Too bad I wasn't there, I would have asked for a refill of my Chateau La Rose Trintaudon 1998 and then thrown it in his face.

[BigWaveBetty]

Algore decides plumbers school is what he always really wanted to do after his second failed attempt at the presidency.

[BigWaveBetty]

LISA MARIE DIVORCE BOMBSHELL! The REAL story behind split with Nic Cage

LISA MARIE PRESLEY's marriage was doomed from day one, friends say.

But it took a series of angry explosions, petty disagreements and vicious blowups over the course of three months for the high-profile couple to crash and burn.

Now, those close to Lisa Marie are spilling her story of the bitter breakup exclusively to Star. [snip]

Friends of Lisa Marie, 34, say her relationship with Nic, 38, was fundamentally flawed because:

Lisa Marie wanted to pursue a recording career, but Nic resented her ex-husband, musician Danny Keough, being involved.

Lisa Marie is very family-oriented, while Nic is still a hard-partying bachelor type. And her children – Danielle, 13, and Ben, 10 – never really got to know him.

Scientology is very important to Lisa Marie, but Nic didn't want anything to do with her religion.

Nic was more in love with being married to Elvis' daughter than Lisa Marie herself. [snip]Star

Just in case you missed this copy. :-)

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

America's Crack Problem

[lodwick]

I didn't think astroturf was as forgiving as grass.

You know it's not! Most of it's like playing on asphalt - for crying out loud.

And then when the stadiums don't maintain the crap, and let the seams sag open - you get some truly horrendous injuries to the players.

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

. . . from David M. Bader's "Zen Judaism: For You, A Little Enlightenment"
.
. .

-- Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated?

-- Though only your skin, sinews, and bones remain, though your blood and
flesh dry up and wither away, yet shall you meditate and not stir until you
have attained full Enlightenment. But first, a little nosh.

-- Accept misfortune as a blessing. Do not wish for perfect health or a life
without problems. What would you talk about?

-- Let go of pride, ego, and opinions. Admit your errors and forgive those
of others. Relinquishment will lead to calm and healing in your
relationships.
If that doesn't work, try small-claims court.

-- There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you never called, you
never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that?

-- The Torah says, "Love they neighbor as thyself." The Buddha says there is
no "self." So maybe you are off the hook.

-- If there is no self, whose arthritis is this?

-- Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story.

-- Do not let children play contact sports like football. These only lead to
injuries and instill a violent, war-like nature. Encourage your child to
play peaceful games, like "sports doctor."

-- Enter into your inner self and behold the eye of the soul. Gaze upon your
original face before you were even born. Shocked? Remember, this was before
the nose job.

-- The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single "Oy".

[BigWaveBetty]

Haikus for Jews
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey! Get back indoors!

Whatever you were doing

could put an eye out.

~~David M. Bader

[mountaineer]

Good morning. Am I misreading this, or are Hollywood types really this unable to face reality:

The site where the World Trade Center once stood has, of course, become hallowed ground. So much so that Hollywood apparently has been afraid to depict the events of Sept. 11, 2001 - let alone feature Ground Zero - in any commercial movie project.

In fact, in the aftermath of last year's atrocity, potentially sensitive plot lines and images - pre-9/11 shots of the World Trade Center, among them - were edited out of many films for fear of seeming inappropriate or disrespectful to victims' families.

In the next two weeks, however, two movies set specifically in a post-9/11 New York City will be released. Spike Lee's "25th Hour," a major studio project, makes multiple references - visual and otherwise - to the emotional and physical damage suffered by New Yorkers. "The Guys," a micro-budgeted, two-character indie film starring Sigourney Weaver and Anthony LaPaglia, zeroes in on one man's psychic pain.

Lee's film, which opens next Wednesday, concerns a convicted drug dealer (played by Edward Norton) who is due to report to prison the next day. While not ostensibly about Sept. 11, "25th Hour" is the first major film to incorporate footage of Ground Zero. full story

Gotta run - hasta luego.

[Teacup]

Good Morning all. I'm Backkkk! We had a heck of an ice strom here in our part of Virginia yesterday. I was without power until 10 PM last night. Blurrr! We were cold and bored, LOL, but we made it through OK.
It's still icy outside, but the weather folks say the ice will melt today. We lost a good number of trees, and the roads are awful, but this too shall pass. Hope everyone is having a great day.

[pubmom]

Looks like he needs a little crack filler for his Asphalt.

[lodwick]

One more gift idea from Registered

[mountaineer]

That's awful! Very funny, but awful!

Teacup - I didn't realize your part of the country also was affected by the ice storms. I hope you all can recover quickly from the great inconveniences you've suffered.

[mountaineer]

Several days ago, I came across an article about a musical version of "Sophie's Choice" that was soon to debut in London. I predicted Miss Social Butterfly would be there. Sho' nuff:

This new Sophie's Choice had its first performance Saturday night at the Royal Opera House, Covent Garden, before a packed house that seemed genuinely moved by what it saw and heard. The crowd included a large contingent from Johns Hopkins University and Peabody Institute, where Maw teaches composition; Chelsea Clinton and, according to the Times of London, Madonna were among the celebrities present. source

Glad to see she isn't overwhelmed by her studies.

[Utah Girl]

You all must go to the White House website and watch the Barneycam. It is so funny, and will bring a smile to your faces.