Prayer Warriors Needed - FReeper desperate

myself | 11/12/02 | Genesis defender

[John Jamieson]

So you don't think his behavour is that bad?

The man literally brags about what a piece of trash he is, and I can't critize him? Why don't you wait until after he straigtens up before you forgive him.

[MsLady]

Amen my brother!!!

[ru4liberty]

From another poster: I have lived a more Chistian life than you have.

Unfortunately, his statement belies any maturity he believes he has in the Lord:

In Matt. 7:20 we are told that we know others by their fruit.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. (Gal. 5:22, 23)

[Cagey]

I do know what you mean, John.

[riley1992]

Eureka!

[LeeMcCoy]

Often, the Lord allows things to get so bad that we only have Him to turn to. It sounds like you have reached that point. But take heart! The Lord listens to all desperate pleas for help. It may take a long time to prove yourself to your family, but the rewards are well worth the effort. Do not give up!

Adding my prayers for your victory!

[snippy_about_it]

http://www.tigerjobs.com/acceptit/WI/sheboygan.htm

http://www.jobsinmadison.com/library.asp?pagemode=4&cid=44

http://www.sheboygan.lib.wi.us/pages/linksjobs.html

And don't forget those temporary agencies, it's a start sometimes and can help you find what you might like to do.

http://www.seekcareers.com/

Also, what about UPS and FedEx, the holidays are coming and I know they are hiring around the country.

http://ups.iiserve.com/loc.html

http://www.fedex.com/us/careers/?link=1

Good luck and Godspeed.

[John Jamieson]

I'm with you, but I'm laughing. The liberal, "it ain't his fault", and "forgive anything and anyone" is blowing my mind here.

[Palladin]

Your remarks are right on. Looks like this boy needs some tough love. The way he tells it, his wife has been out supporting him for 5 years, and he's on the computer fooling around all day. Isn't that a form of infidelity?

[John Jamieson]

And, then, he might not be telling use the whole truth either.

[MsLady]

BRAGS???? Sounds more like he's desperate and at the end of his rope and doesn't know where to turn next. So he turns to us and all you can do is slam him? That is absolutely, totally, not even constructive. I'd be very careful, you will be judged the way you judge. And given compassion the way you give it. Every word you use will be judged. For your own sake I would be more worried about that.

He needs G-d first and everything else will fall into place. I will be praying for him and his family and for you. May G-d have more mercy for you, then you have shown Genesis defender.

[John Jamieson]

"My world as I know it is falling apart."

This is the real problem, he's world for the past 5 years was "money for nothin', chicks for free" and now it's going away. He's not committed to reform. This a search for how he can continue his old ways.

[MsLady]

Exactly!!!

If you haven't already done so, give everything over to the L-rd, cry out to Him for help and watch what happens. I promise you, you will never be the same again. My journey is not over, and everyday I live with the L-rd here on earth has been pure joy. HE IS AWESOME!!!

[riley1992]

He needs G-d first

Then he should log off and find Him and a job.

[MississippiMan]

Prayers NEVER hurt. Just be sure that after praying, you don't SIT AROUND waiting for God to answer. Go find some answers. That's not meant to be sarcastic at all. I second what someone else said about getting some Christian counseling immediately, and it also would be a good idea to get to a physician who might look at the possibility of clinical depression.

Best wishes to you. Work hard.

MM

[jocon307]

"In the mean time, get any job; no matter how little it pays. You need to get out of the house and away from the junk that's distracting you. You need to get back into the rhythm of working. At this time of year, anything retail is a sure bet."

Redcloak is giving you some good practical advice. and I hope you take it.

You sound a lot like my former husband, whom I divorced because he did not work, yet who still lives with me because I am a soft touch, filled with Irish/Catholic guilt and I will not throw him out because he WILL live in the street. Am I doing a good thing, or a bad thing, I don't know. I'm leaving my judgement of myself to God, and I hope all here will do the same.

But my point to you is that YOU have a problem, and you need to solve it. My ex-hubby is 50 years old now, he has never held any job for more than a year, he has no health insurance (which is one thing when you're 20 or 30, quite another when you're 50); he's got far less in material wealth than do other members of his family, and when you get too old to party (or play video games, or whatever)all night (and this does happen, I'm sad to report) well, just let me say, the teenaged style lifestyle starts to really s*ck.

Hubby (I still call him hubby, it's just a lot easier than explaining all this to people all the time)is a very unhappy person, and he has brought it on himself. I sincerely urge you, as did another poster, to have yourself evaluated by a competant health care provider for depression, or possibly bi-polar disorder. I wish I could get hubby to do this, thus far he has refused.

Hubby would probably strangle me if he ever saw this post, and I'm really hoping your original request is not some kind of a joke, but I know full well that your story is a common one.

Please, I've revealed some very personal things here and I've done it in a sincere effort to help you and your wife and child have a happier life than me, my hubby and our child have had. Take all the good, sensible, pragmatic, spiritual and theraputic advice you are being offered here and USE IT! Don't just say "yeah, yeah, yeah". Build up your self-esteem by striving hard and save your family and yourself.

[John Jamieson]

How many kids did you raise? Hope your approach worked.

[Scully]

So you don't think his behavour is that bad?

You've missed the point entirely. The woman in the story had been caught in adultery...a crime punishable by stoning. This man is guilty of not supporting his family, which I believe was a crime in the Old Testament that would result in community scorn, but not death.

But even this historical bit is besides the point.

The real message of that passage in the Bible is that we have ALL sinned...and according to God...are ALL worthy of death. Do not judge this brother too harshly, lest the Lord not be as gracious in forgiving YOUR sins.

[CindyDawg]

He hasn't posted for awhile. Maybe the computer is with the games .

[Quix]

I'm sure you're familiar with the Scripture about a man who doesn't provide for his own household.

I'm sure you've felt guilty a thousand times over. The guilt has probably encouraged yet more acting out.

I believe you will have to demonstrate much EVIDENCE over significant time lengths for heart repentance.

I don't believe there's a snoball's chance in hades that you can stay in the home prior to demonstrating over many months a 180 degree turn around. It's iffy even then.

Yes, prayer can change a lot. God doesn't tend to coerce people against their will--especially in such matters. Servant-heartedness and servant-hearted actions can go some of the distance. But at this point, they have too much of the flavor of a desperate schmuck grasping for crumbs rather than the flavor of a mature, responsible etc. husband one could respect, look up to and love.

Happy to pray for you and your marriage.

But I think you need to most ask God to help you focus on getting your act together; overhauling yourself and your life along with your habits. A 12 step type group would probably do you good.

Forming a close brotherhood friendship--better 3 such friendships--with someone in the church who had their act well together in all your weak areas would help.

If and when you get your act together, you'll need to court, romance, woo, win your wife all over again. The corpse that is dead is all but buried and probably for her is buried already under so much pain, trying to resurrect THAT would be counter productive.

It is great that you now see yourself more accurately and clearly. AS you know, it's a bit late.

You will need to identify your strengths and build close relationships with believers who will affirm you and support you in your strengths while holding you accountable for earnest more or less steady effort in overcoming, with God's help, your weaknesses. You must have support and enough to avoid burning out one or two people with your needy-ness.

You must build in some laid back, non-performance oriented times. You must build in some fun times. You must have some good rest and quite important some frequent exercise. You may need some meds for depression and for obsessive stuff--check with a believer psychiatrist about that. Check out the pages on the web for treating depression. There are a lot of things you can do yourself. You probably need someone holding you accountable and helping you with such. Your own insight into your own welfare may not be overly accurate on such matters.

You are made in God's image. You are still precious in His sight. You are redeemable. Certainly no need to throw the baby out with the bath. If you need to room with a church family because it's safer for you--pray and seek that out.

Your son certainly deserves and needs time with you. But he also needs you to become someone you can have confidence and self-respect in. You may have a tendency to squander whatever money you can make and scrape together on buying his love with fancy toys. Avoid it. He mostly needs time and affection and a healthy attitude from you--including about yourself.

Throwing your self on God's altar and on His mercy and similarly on the altar of a trustworthy, loving local church would be probably a good minimum necessary to start over.

But choose the church well. In sure that the pastor is a humble, loving one. Avoid proud types who might want to treat you as another "case" on their trophy belt for having "done their good deeds" before men for the week, month or year. Seek yout humble men who are strong men but who's main strength is Jesus manifested in humility, brokenness and great empathy.

Do a Scriptural study about who we are in Jesus and on the Names of God. Claim those Scriptures in the face of all the onslaughts of the enemy. Confess them; pray them, throw them constantly in the enemy's face whenever he tries to infect, inject you with self-doubt, defeatism etc.

See if you can find a small group of prayer warriors who would be willing to pray with you and over you regarding all your family of origin; family history; sins of the fathers sorts of stuff. In sure they are good at helping you sort through your own childhood junk--especially holes that were never filled in by your own father and perhaps your own mother. Theophostic counseling would be good if you can find someone experienced in it.

If such a session is very intense, you'll likely need rest afterward for hours to a day or 3. Don't berate yourself for that. Major surgery requires rest. Then learning to stand in the new place(s) within and about you resulting will take discipline and tenacity.

Even if you have to travel a bit, some Theophostic sessions would be very valuable for you and are very Christ Centered. I believe there is a website on it but I'm not sure. Haven't searched myself.

Anyway--crying for help is a great step. Follow through doggedly. If all you can do is put half a step in front of half a step--doggedly do so. When you fall, get up as best you can, dust yourself off and go on. Cry for help when you need it. Spread such cries around to avoid burning 1 or 2 out.

Will pray for you.

Blessings,